When Mu Mu came home from a business trip the week before, three pairs of underwear were soaked in the bathroom sink, and a pile of takeaway boxes overflowed the kitchen trash can. There are four pairs of shoes scattered on the porch, all of which belong to boyfriends. One pair is worn by boyfriends and girlfriends when they go out to play tennis, and socks are stuffed inside, which stinks when they open the door.
Mu Mu's greatest hobby is cooking. She also likes to study new recipes and always surprises everyone at friends' parties.
Who knows, when I came back, there were two pots at home, all of which were a pile of moldy and hairy shit-colored meals. There is a pot of convenient curry that is suspected to be made by my boyfriend one day. I can't tell what it is. This spirit goes straight and straight, because it is really unbearable that there is a fish-like object suspected of coke in the oven, whose surface is covered with a layer of green hair and smells musty. ...
Fortunately, Bao Ma Xin Jie in our circle of friends is quite experienced in Yufu. Her husband was a passive Nuo Nuo treasure man before his marriage, but after his engagement, she was persuaded by Sister Xin to become a diligent and good husband.
The man not only learned to refuse his parents' unreasonable demands, but also knew how to protect his daughter-in-law. When Xin Jie was pregnant, her husband actually organized the whole family to learn scientific parenting methods together, and personally went to the maternity hospital to discuss it repeatedly with doctors and nurses to find colleagues who had given birth to babies to learn. Finally, she shopped around and took the initiative to book a month center and a postpartum rehabilitation class for Sister Xin.
When Xin Jie was sweating on the treadmill in the gym, she fed the baby milk powder at home until she tried it carefully with a thermometer. After drinking, her husband burped the children, and they enjoyed it without complaining, so we asked Sister Xin for advice. The following is her experience.
In fact, many men live a manned life when they are single-when they return to their own homes, their parents take care of the housework, and when they return to their own homes, no one is picky about being single, so just make do with it.
According to the survey data, 62% people think that sharing housework is an important factor of marital harmony, second only to mutual trust and harmonious sex life. However, men will spend 18% of their time doing 33% of housework, while women will spend 22% of their time doing 67% of housework.
To put it bluntly, your man is too lazy, and some people are used to it. It's up to you whether to continue to spoil him and let him continue to have lazy cancer attacks for decades.
Maybe some men will say: I'm too busy at work and I'm really tired when I get home. ...
Some men say: I am always on a business trip, so it is rare to have a rest and do housework when I go home.
Another man said, I really won't. You let me work. Aren't you satisfied after you finish your work?
But please think about it. If your daughter grows up and marries a man who is as lazy as you, doesn't do housework, and looks at the whole house in a mess, lie down quietly, waiting for your baby daughter to mop up the garbage all over the house with a broom, but he is too lazy to lift his feet, can you accept all this calmly?
I believe all men will reject this scene. But your woman was the apple of another man's eye. You don't even do housework. You promised to treat her well. What should you cash it with?
As long as your wife works full-time like you, as long as your salary can't support the whole family, and as long as your wife earns a penny in the family income, you should do housework.
Even a bachelor, as a self-reliant adult, takes it for granted to do housework, which is also an important part of daily life. You can't teach your man to share housework, so for him, your role is not a wife, but a nanny.
A survey by Georgia State University found that holding a rag and a vacuum cleaner makes people sexier. Men who share housework fairly with their wives have more sex-about eight times a month. Men who do less housework only have about 5 times a month on average.
Researchers at Aston University in Birmingham, England, conducted a memory test on 100 men and women, and found that women performed better in sports and behavioral memory. The researchers pointed out that this is related to the fact that women often do housework, and men can also improve their memory by doing housework.
Therefore, a man who is too lazy to move may not only have problems in life, but also become stupid.
Be yourself first, and then be a "man's woman"
Everyone has multiple roles, such as a woman. Her role may be: girlfriend, wife, mother, employee, best friend and even enemy, but first, she must be herself. Many women feel that they are girlfriends, wives and nannies after being with men, but they always forget to be themselves. Not only do you forget yourself, but you often forget to love yourself.
During the period of love, I think of my man wholeheartedly, care for him, be considerate of him, give him carefully prepared small gifts, and see if there are any goblins pestering him;
When I get married, I am preoccupied with my husband, washing my hands to make him bride soup, ironing shirts, thinking about when I can get a promotion, when my husband will buy a new car and a suite, and whether my parents are in good health;
After giving birth to a baby, I am preoccupied with the baby. I care that the baby will turn over after a few months, and the baby will climb after a few months. Where can I buy the school district and why can't I go to the early education class? ...
However, the more lovers and couples, the more they should understand and respect each other, maintain their independence, and don't always think about taking advantage of the other half.
What's more, if you have the first time, it's easy for a man who has tasted the sweetness to get into the habit of playing dumb and asking the woman to bear more.
A mature person will know the difference between himself and others. And a woman, often from distinguishing between public and private, looking for self, setting boundaries began to mature. When you are mature and strong, you will know how to care for yourself better, stop everything going well, irrigate your mind and raise yourself more beautifully.
When you spend time and energy exploring yourself, caring for yourself, perfecting your career, pursuing skill growth and having your own life, your man will naturally take on more housework.
Make family rules as early as possible, and responsibilities must be clear.
A survey once showed that married men like and enjoy two spaces best: the study at home and their own car. Why? Because these are two places where they can make their own decisions, see what they want and go where they want to go.
When shopping at IKEA, have you observed the attitudes of couples and lovers? Some women are like this—
The man pointed out that he liked a glass vase with a unique shape, and the woman frowned: "This is beautiful, but it is particularly difficult to wash. You men don't know how difficult it is for women to wash this thing! "
"I like this color cabinet!" When the man is silent, the cabinet is fixed.
"This lamp is cost-effective and beautiful. This is it! " The man was arguing with other styles, and his wife accused him of being too straight, so she stuffed the chandelier that her husband didn't like into the shopping cart.
A man took a fancy to a set of tables and chairs, and a woman said, "Oh, this thing, the color matching is too poor." The one next to Mingming is suitable for our floor. " Finally, the woman grabbed the pen and wrote down the home bill of lading.
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When the goods arrived home, the man was depressed to find that the house was full of women's cabinets, women's lamps, women's tables and chairs, women's small objects and women's decisions. This situation will give men a natural subconscious: this seems to be a woman's space. Do you still expect men to have a sense of control and belonging to the "women's home"?
Once you have no boundaries, others have no respect and awe for you, because you always do everything, and others are happy to throw all the burdens at you. It is better to "delegate" more rights to men and let them invest more and pay more for this small family.
There is an interesting term in economics called sunk cost. When people decide whether to do something, they should not only look at whether it is beneficial to them, but also whether they have invested in it in the past.
Before sinking the cost, the simplest thing we can do is to be too obsessed with what we have invested. In other words, the more efforts and efforts your man makes for you and his family, the stronger his sense of participation, the higher the sinking cost in his eyes, and the more reluctant he is to leave you. In other words, your man's devotion to family affairs is directly proportional to the stability and health of your relationship.
Even if a man doesn't do well, he should not only endure, but also praise hard.
A common mistake made by a good wife in China is to accidentally extinguish a man's enthusiasm for housework.
Seeing that a man mops the floor uncleanly, his shoes are not properly placed, the dishes are frothy, and he forgets to buy soy sauce when he goes to the supermarket, his first reaction is often not to teach him how to do it well, but to angrily push him away and say "I'll do it", just like their mother once did, so the man feels at ease again: I can't do it, and the woman won't let me do it, so I don't care.
Why are Xin Jie's husbands so happy, willing to do housework or not?
The reason is very simple: Xin Jie basically only praises, chooses to turn a blind eye when her husband is not doing well, and only gives advice when she can't stand it. As the saying goes, "wear everything, just don't wear flattery."
According to the "flattery effect" in psychology, we are all more willing to believe positive, positive and affirmative words about ourselves, which is particularly acute in the communication between men and women and in the workplace. These positive words can freely bring people closer together.
Praise a lot, praise hard, praise hard, praise if the food is not well done, praise if the food is not clean, and praise if there are some water marks on the floor.
Praise him for getting carried away, praising him for losing himself, praising him for his enthusiasm for housework, praising him for smiling and volunteering to be your superhero. Without housework, you will feel uncomfortable.
Next time he doesn't need your command, he will do it in full swing and will do it better and more skillfully than before. Even if he knows what he is doing is not perfect, he must have a sense of accomplishment and enjoy it, so as to get a positive cycle of emotions and understand your hard work.