For example, their eye contact means that they are not particularly shy or nervous, and may be interested in you. If they say the first line without hesitation and are smart and unpretentious, it proves their cleverness. If they wear gothic clothes, that explains some problems.
You can understand all this in a few seconds, and then form a rather hard impression on a person. Psychologists call this phenomenon confirmatory bias. Once we form an opinion about someone, we will refuse to accept the opposite information.
For example, if a person says something smart first and then something stupid, we may ignore the latter. Even if this person is charming, we will find those words lovely.
Show your sexiness. Of course, some sexiness is mysterious, wonderful and indescribable, but there are also some behaviors that many people think are sexy:
Posture. Keep your shoulders back and your back straight. Chin slightly raised 90 degrees. Occasionally slightly sideways;
Warm but not like a salesgirl's smile. Ah, the charm of a simple smile, some people can look positive without even trying;
Stand 2.5 to 3 feet away instead of the usual 3.5 to 4 feet;
Eye contact. Don't stare at each other, but looking at each other's eyes most of the time is enough for you to remember the color of their eyes. This is very attractive;
A relaxed voice. Don't speak too fast. Relatively slow speed means confidence;
A long pause. Wait a minute after the other person finishes the conversation. This can show respect and calm self-confidence. This is sexy.
Say what? It's best to start with a positive "environmental" comment. No, it's not "I'm glad they recycle here" This is about your surroundings. For example, if you stand in the psychology department of a bookstore, you can say, "They have many books here."
If you stand in line at TraderJoe's store and see something interesting in someone else's shopping cart, you can say, "I've always wanted to try Brittany butter cake. Have you tried it before? " Don't use "lines", such as "Do you believe in love at first sight or should I pass by again?" The modification of "lines" is obvious and mechanical;
Some people don't like small talk, but it's important. Open chatting can let people know that you are interested without being too active or threatening. The other person won't think you are superficial unless two hours later, all you talk about is the weather, sports and Kardashian.
What should we do now? After your opening remarks, listen, really listen, and then say or ask something in response. This part of the conversation can be called slow digging: learn a little slowly, reveal a little, and ask for some more private information.
The principles displayed in the dialogue are not only those introduced in the section "What to Say", but also some other principles have been applied in the dialogue:
Table tennis exchange tactics. The two said the same amount, and the comments were simple. This kind of language detour can trigger a connection more than a small speech;
The longer your statement is, the more likely it is to be regarded as self-centered;
If you tend to talk a lot, try the traffic light rule: in the first 30 seconds, your light is green. The second 30 seconds, yellow: the other party may start to think that you are wordy or want to respond. After 60 seconds, your light turns red. Yes, occasionally you want to "run a red light". For example, if you are telling an interesting story but you usually want to stop, you may ask a question.
Imitate the rhythm of intimate confession. Some people seldom talk about their fears, anxieties and problems for weeks. Everyone else said it in the first few minutes. It is safer to imitate the person you are talking to than to be loyal to your nature;
Speed dating. Just like the first meeting in a bookstore, it usually doesn't last long if you don't want to appear reckless. So if you want to continue the conversation, ask the other person out on a date in a few minutes.