How to properly address others in communication? Generally, we should pay attention to the following seven relationships:
(1) regional relations
China has a vast territory and many dialects. Even the same appellation has different meanings due to different regions. For example, the name "Zanzi" refers to a well-built man in some areas in the south, which is a title of respect and praise, while northerners are used to associating "Zanzi" with vulgarity and barbarism. Therefore, it is more appropriate to be "comrade" when you come to a foreign land and don't understand the local dialect.
(2) the relationship of the times
Some appellations are branded with "belt" and have traces of exploiting class ideology. For example, people who shave their heads, chefs and actors all mean contempt and should be eliminated. Second, we should change our names to hairdressers (or hairdressers), cooks (or cooks), actors (or literary and art workers) and so on.
But some other titles, such as "sir", "miss", "your Excellency" and "your majesty", are still very appropriate in some occasions. Due to the different social systems in different countries, the use of address in foreign affairs conversation should conform to the habits of other countries.
(3) the hierarchical relationship
Although the hierarchical relationship in contemporary society is different from the strict feudal hierarchical system, it is also necessary to show respect for elders and elders with appropriate titles to show kindness or respect. Use honorifics for the elderly and celebrities; The person in charge of a superior leader or other unit may call his position; For those whose positions are lower than their own, they should also choose honorifics, and it is generally not appropriate to call them by their first names.
(4) occasion relationship
The same address is appropriate in some situations, but not in another. For example, it is natural and kind to call "grandpa" and "grandma" in general occasions, but it is stiff and awkward to call "grandpa" and "grandma"; If in some solemn occasions, the latter is appropriate. For example, if a person has several identities, his address will also be determined by time and place.
(5) the relationship between praise and criticism
Some appellations have obvious emotional color, such as "old factory director", "old model" and "old comrade". Calling people by their nicknames is sometimes intimate. For example, the Chen Geng Prize likes to be called "Little Papaya" (slow-witted person). Laughing at others' victories as nicknames is an insult to others' recognition and a sign of bad manners. In the names of lovers, the words "fool" and "bad guy" often appear, which will not cause disgust, but will be extremely liked. This is a special name to express special feelings.
(6) Psychological relationship
Some people are willing to accept the same title, while others are secretive. Fishermen avoid the word "Shen" If his surname is Chen, he will be unhappy if you call him every night. Couples who are also in their thirties, some people like to be called "Lao Zhang" and "Lao Li", but for the 30-year-old who is looking for someone, we might as well call him "Xiao Zhang" and "Xiao Li". Grandma Gu Ba in Cao Yu's play Sunrise said to her face, "No wonder her old man is tired of listening." Think about it, her old man's temper is a little short-tempered. Besides, "before she finished, Mrs. Gu went on the rampage and shouted," Go! Let's go Let's go What' her old man's house, her old man's house'. I was angry when I saw you. Who told you to come in and disgust me? " It can be seen that improper address will cause the other party's unhappiness and will definitely affect the effect of the conversation.
(7) Primary and secondary relations or sequential relations
When you need to address more than one person at the same time, generally speaking, there should be an order, first long, then young, first up, then down, first sparse, then dense. Premier Zhou's speech at the banquet hosted by Nixon and his party on February 2 1972 began like this: "Mr. President, Mrs. Nixon, ladies and gentlemen, comrades and friends!" This series of titles is both appropriate and orderly.
Appropriate address should also consider the identity of the other party. For example, it is more appropriate for you to call an old farmer who works shirtless in the field an "old man". It seems ironic to call it "the old gentleman". On the other hand, if you meet an elderly female teacher who comes out of the teaching and research section on campus, if you call her "grandma", it will easily arouse the resentment of the other party.
As long as you pay attention to the above matters, you can be decent and measured when you communicate with strangers for the first time.
Generally speaking, in more formal social occasions, addressing a strange man, regardless of his soul, can be collectively referred to as "Mr." and addressing a strange woman should be given different names according to her marital status: addressing a married woman, calling her "Mrs. X" with her husband's surname, and calling her "Mrs." if the other person has a higher status; If you don't know each other's marital status, it's best to address each other as "Miss" or "Lady", no matter whether she is 16 or 60. People who meet new people in the fields of education and literature and art are generally called "teachers". When asking strangers in informal situations, in order to show closeness, you can call each other by their relatives' names, such as "uncle", "aunt", "old uncle" and "grandma".
When you meet strangers for the first time, it is very important to address them properly and accurately. This can not only show respect for each other or intimacy with each other, but also reflect their own cultural quality, thus quickly narrowing the distance between the two sides. Therefore, we must pay attention to this.