At 5: 30 in the afternoon, no matter the classroom or the office, it is the most empty time; On the contrary, the canteen is overcrowded.

The last sunshine in winter is looser than any other season. The sky seems to have been filtered by a physical filter, from dark yellow to deep red, and finally to a dark blue with black spots. The world is divided into two halves by light and shadow, and there is no gap between them. Night fish and day are often only in an instant. The world is gradually washed away by time, and our pain is very clear on the smooth shell. Looking up from the teaching building, there is no light in the math office on the sixth floor.

Shan Lan stood in front of the window sill of the office, staring at the bustling crowd downstairs.

Just about an hour ago, the grade director came to the office with a big smile on his face and asked about the new teacher, Shan Lan. This should be a happy thing, but the casual sentence of the grade director "The headmaster clearly said to take care of you more" made the atmosphere awkward and dignified in an instant. Wu Mei, who graduated from Teachers' College, was also assigned to this key high school, but her identity is "teaching assistant". This means that she can only get the salary of a teaching assistant. Shan Lan is also a fresh graduate of normal school, but his identity is a formal math teacher.

Although everyone has not made it clear, everyone knows clearly that this is obviously unfair.

Wu Mei was even more cynical about Shan Lan, and even other teachers in the office vaguely ignored Shan Lan. Ji 'an pushed open the office door with the exercise book he didn't hand in this morning.

There was no light in the office, so he fumbled to turn on the switch and the fluorescent lamp popped up with white light. He was startled when he suddenly found a man standing by the bed.

"Hill teacher? I will hand in my exercise book "but the tone is still cold and calm.

"Really ... Ji 'an?" Shan Lan adjusted her glasses.

"hmm." The tall boy walked slowly to Shan Lan's desk, put his exercise book gently on the desk, and then turned to leave. All movements are as gentle and natural as warm water. "Ji' an classmate ... wait a minute!" Shan Lan stepped forward.

The boy stopped in the dark corridor. His eyes were as bright as stars, like a transparent lake, but he felt terrible. Liu Hai brushed his thick black eyebrows, like an exotic teenager, and the outline of his face was plated with white light with silver edges, which made him more angular in the dark. However, the fact is as profound and terrible as Alice's magic mirror. There are countless thorns and seaweed lurking behind the gorgeous surface. When you fall down, mimosa will suck your blood dry, and man-eating flowers will chew your bones.

"Does the teacher really annoy you so much?" Shan Lan's eyes are a little moist.

Jane looked at him coldly and said nothing.

"I really work hard. I'm trying very hard to have a good class and make you like me. You know, I can't fall asleep until four in the morning every day. I was scared. I'm scared at the thought of facing you, really ... "Shan Lan's body trembled slightly.

"Maybe you are really not suitable for the profession of teacher, so it's better to change careers as early as possible." Ji An said dryly, then put his hand in his pocket and left.

Shan Lan slumped in an office chair. Her parents' decision made her the candidate of the score line of the key university finally choose the normal school. His parents, both university professors, seem to have arranged everything. His career was planned by his parents: starting from middle school and finally reaching their position and height.

Shan Lan frowned, took out the lesson plan and went on studying. However, the cruelty of this city is that no one cares how hard you work, and your efforts can only get some sympathy points. The end result is the only test standard. There are always people in this city who have been lagging behind and failed in their efforts, and some people have spent little effort and even succeeded by luck.

People touch the top of the ivory tower in various ways.

In the dark, countless hands are holding all kinds of scissors, trying to cut the umbilical cord of the city.

Blood is everywhere, and in the deepest part of cruelty, there is our shadow. 2.

When the cold wave came, it suddenly rained heavily for two days in the city. All the tall buildings are soaked in abundant rain. There are no stars in the bleak sky. The sky and the earth blend into a vast gray.

The temperature suddenly dropped by more than ten degrees, and the sky was shivering with cold.

The city is moldy and rotten in the cold, like a huge wound. Another deep winter is coming.

Teenagers in the movie, what are you doing? Ji An rushed back to the office and found that there was only one person in the classroom.

That person is not Chi, but Miao Ying, the best student and the proudest girl in the class.

Miao Ying closed the book and said coldly, "Did you go to Xiaoshan's office?"

Ji An didn't answer and returned to his seat. The fluorescent lamp at the back of the classroom is not turned on. He fumbled for the CD player in the dark.

"Do you know why she is so annoying? Because whether she can enter this school and be our teacher depends on her uncle, who is the principal. " MiaoYing didn't turn.

She went on to say:

"It's sad to climb up by relying on other people's relationships and try to get close to students."

"Everyone is tired of her affectation, and everyone's math scores are declining. Doesn't she realize her shame? "

Miao Ying then closed the book, then got up and walked to the door of the classroom. Her tone, like her eyes, was sharp and cold with contempt for everything.

Gian fumbled to turn on the switch. The CD started to turn and the blue fluorescent lamp in the drawer flashed.

He put on the second season and then closed his eyes on the desk.

In the ear, the slightly hoarse voice was isolated. The first "Sleepless in Hertz Forest" by Yamashima Ji.

Suddenly, the mobile phone vibrates. Open the screen, it is an unsigned number.

The words on it are dirty and blurred. 3.

/kloc-western restaurant on the 0/7th floor, sitting by the window, overlooking most of the city.

Dense tall buildings. Dense figures. Shan Lan cut the steak with a knife and fork and looked up from time to time.

The man sitting opposite him has a Chinese face, thick glasses and a suit that doesn't match his temperament.

The atmosphere is a bit dull.

"Father should have said something about us." The man shrugged his glasses with his hand.

"hmm." Shan Lan didn't look up, moved a dish of delicate blueberry cake to the front, and then bit it down.

He suddenly frowned, paused for two seconds, and then took out a diamond ring from his mouth.

The man saw Shan Lan looking at the ring in his hand with cream on it. He suddenly got excited and said vaguely, "Xiaolan, marry me, marry me!" "

Men tightly holding Shan Lan's hand, Shan Lan some instinctively back.

Tears kept spinning in her eyes.

-Come on, cry. Those are like the happy heroines who were proposed in the movies.

It's just that the moment my teeth bit the ring, I really wanted to cry. 4.

Coco's most secret dance floor. All male creatures.

But you can see a waist that is more flexible than a woman's twisting in the electro-optic phantom, and all kinds of perfumes are mixed into a more attractive taste.

On the side of the bar, a man with a full face of stubble hugged the teenager's waist and his face was still close from time to time.

"Seventh Master, I really can't drink any more ..." The boy frowned and his face was red with alcohol.

"I know you're not drunk. Come on, give grandpa a smile. " Unscrupulous laughter was drowned in deafening dance music.

The teenager staggered away from the glass held in front of him.

"Come on, darling, I'll take you home when I'm comfortable!"

"Ha ha ha!" The teenager laughed, then narrowed his eyes and said, "Home, tell me quickly, where is home?" I ... Where is it? "

The man was puzzled and asked curiously, "What about your parents? What do they do? "

"Dad? Mom? Where there are no parents, I killed them all They are all assholes! All bitches! As cheap as me ... "Under the action of alcohol, the teenager's headache intensifies and his tone becomes vague.

"It doesn't matter, I will be your father when I feel comfortable."

The man hugged the boy and staggered to the box inside.

The smell of lust is stronger than deafening noise. 5.

3: 30 in the morning.

The temperature in this city has dropped to the lowest point in a day.

The lights in the city center have been out for a long time, but occasionally at night planes draw a light mark in the sky.

There are almost no people in Central Park, except for the occasional night shift wrapped in scarves. Shan Lan sat on the cold stone bench, his face flushed with the cold wind. But she didn't leave, just looked at the skyscrapers with lights still on around her and still worked for nearly two hours.

Such a situation and mentality are really suitable for crying.

But after brewing for a long time, I still can't shed tears.

It is already a person's fear and despair because he always has other choices, and now there is only one way in front of him, so there is nothing to worry about and fear. Shan Lan has no way out.

In fact, there should be no worries and complaints, because parents have planned everything. Three months ago, the boy who went home with his parents was full of "nice to meet you" and "honored". This is Shan Lan's fiance, who was carefully selected by her parents and graduated from the highest institution with a major in Chinese. The topic of their first date was the evolution of comparative literature in ancient China and Europe. Boys are really gentlemen. Ordinary chats are like speeches and debates, and the depth of knowledge is no less than the degree of the eyes.

In fact, I also want to tell my parents "I have no feelings for him at all" or "I don't want to get married yet" or "Can I find a boyfriend myself?" . But every time I mentioned this topic, my parents began to hold the boy like a dictionary, saying that "his parents are both doctors studying in the United States", "you can go to the United States for development in the future" and "your character is very reliable" and there is no reason to refute it, because that's it.

Shan Lan, 26, never contradicted his parents.

A good girl in the eyes of teachers when I was a student, and a good daughter in the hearts of my parents.

Until graduation, I began to work as a teacher through my parents' relationship. I haven't fully entered the society, but I have been hit, rejected, ignored by a series of classmates, and even bullied by my own students. For all this, I can only bear it silently. Maybe her parents haven't told her how to solve all this.

Perhaps, these are all karma, and the injuries and setbacks that have not been suffered in the past 26 years have all erupted. Shan Lan sighed and got up to take a taxi home. My body was a little numb, and I trembled slightly when I got up, and almost fell down.

He walked to the side of the road, and the glare of the headlights made people squint.

Traffic is coming and going, but no taxi is driving "empty".

Suddenly, I felt that I had been hit hard, instinctively grabbed my bag, and then turned my head in a panic.

Is a teetering teenager, tall and straight, wearing a white shirt, silver belt logo, who exudes a strong alcohol. The teenager raised his head slightly, his hair was unkempt, but his eyes were still familiar.

"Sword classmate? ! "Shan Lan grabbed the boy's arm. The boy turned his head indifferently. -The workers' stadium not far away is like a huge whirlpool, and the giant lamp tube of "COCO" is extremely dazzling and shiny.

-At that time, Shan Lan had never been exposed to the carnival and sadness of another world. six

3: 30 in the morning.

4: 30 in the morning.

At half past five in the morning, the sky began to turn white, and it was another gray morning. Chen Lifen gently opened the door of JiLan and looked at her sleeping daughter. Then he rubbed his red eyes, grabbed the key and went out.

On the way in the early morning, vehicles and people are particularly scarce.

Because of the cold air in the morning, the picture is particularly blurred. Chen Lifen clutched a big broom tightly and swept along the road.

The cold and humid wind made Chen Lifen tremble. She swept away the fallen leaves on the ground. Suddenly, she felt something in the fallen leaves. She opened the fallen leaves with a broom and found a rotten dead sparrow with its eyes rolled. Ants go in and out of its body, and white maggots corrode its body satisfactorily. Chen Lifen suddenly felt sick and squatted on the ground to vomit. And this is another corner shrouded in fog. Narrow and crowded bungalows in the center of Xinjiekou. The red word "demolition" painted on the bungalow is particularly striking. I don't know who is playing "Morning News" on the inferior radio. The voice of the host sometimes turns into noisy waves and sometimes returns to normal. The faucet dripped slowly, and a thin layer of frost formed on the pile of scrap iron piled at the door.

There was a dim light in one of the bungalows.

Smoke flame slowly opened his eyes, and the vague understanding became clear bit by bit.

He is the only one in the room. Mom hasn't come back from the hospital yet. She may have stayed with her father for another night. I suddenly remembered the scenes that happened in the hospital last night.

The doctor said coldly that if he didn't renew the fee, he would let his father leave the hospital. But dad hasn't passed the critical period after he was hit. How can he leave the hospital? The arrogant mother begged the doctor, but there seemed to be no room for the doctor's cold tone. Yan Yan looked at her mother, who was almost kneeling in front of the doctor, and tried to control herself so as not to wave her still numb fist like a doctor.

Finally, the doctor sighed and said, "I must settle the medical expenses next week" and left. The tone is full of unremitting sympathy.

I have never seen my mother so silent.

She didn't swear or take a knife to the kitchen.

She wiped her father's forehead with a wet towel.

Smoke flame behind her, heard his voice choked.

"Fifty thousand dollars, where can I get it?" Teng Xixi woke up slowly in the room with the heating on. She groped and turned on her mobile phone.

Then in the boot music, I opened the quilt and got out of bed. Suddenly, clutching her chest, she squatted down hard and coughed violently.

He held out his hand trembling, and there were many pink bubbles in the thick sputum he coughed up. seven

Teng Xi didn't come to school all day. The class teacher didn't explain the reason.

All day, Ji Lan looked worried and couldn't solve a problem. I have been waiting for information from Teng Xi since I went to school. At noon, Yan Yan came to see Ji Lan once. Ji Lan just scribbled a few words, such as "I probably have a cold and rest at home" and "nothing serious". Yan Yan said "hmm" twice, and then he left safely. When Yan Yan stood at the door of the classroom, Ji Lan obviously felt the rustling of girls behind her.

In fact, there will always be one or two people in our life, and you will hate him inexplicably, even hate him. When he is strong and excellent, you will be jealous and hate him; And when he is weak, you will do your best to help him. It is such a hypocritical and true "good friend" label.

-and such people should be called "important people" in our lives. Shan Lan is also worried.

When going to class, Shan Lan stopped at the door of the classroom for a few seconds, then took a deep breath and walked onto the platform.

I have been afraid to look at that seat, but even so, I made a mistake because of nervousness and embarrassment. It's booing and throwing pens again However, as a world teenager, he is always cold and quiet. He still wears headphones in class, as if it had nothing to do with him. On the way to the howling cold wind in the morning, Ji 'an people in thin shirts were shivering with cold.

Shan Lan asked him anxiously, "Ji 'an, where is your home? Why don't you come home so late? ! "

Ji An squinted and asked drunkenly, "Who are you? Get out of the way for me ... "

Just after that, he suddenly squatted on the ground and vomited.

I broke out in a cold sweat. It seems that I am too drunk to go home. In desperation, she stopped a taxi and took Ji 'an home.

It's nearly 4 o'clock in the morning when she gets home, and she will lean on the sofa until dawn. Ji 'an slept soundly in bed, hooked himself to sleep and looked at the baby in the placenta. In fact, there is nothing unusual about all this, and there is no need to feel embarrassed. After Ji 'an woke up, he still left a cold "you have a lot of things", pushed the door and left.

Taxi in the early morning and at night. Drunk, he accidentally leaned on Shan Lan's shoulder. Suddenly, he hugged Shan Lan's waist tightly. Panicked, want to get rid of the sword hand heard his deep voice. She tilted her head slowly. Outside the window, I don't know whether it is raining or snowing, and the dripping cold liquid slaps on the window. Under the influence of a strong cold current, the temperature in this city dropped several degrees. eight

It is really cold. When the smoke flame trembled out of the Taoist temple, a cold wind suddenly blew and my body trembled violently. He resisted the burning feeling on his legs and trudged towards the bus stop.

However, in the Daoguan in the high-rise building, after turning off the lights, Linsen slowly squatted down and sat down on the ground.

In the empty training room, warm and humid heating gradually relaxes the capillaries. Tomlinson was silent in the dark.

The scene just now still comes to my mind.

The boy with stubborn eyes is full of pleading: "Please coach must give me this opportunity to get rid of it!"

Tomlinson bit his lip secretly and said nothing.

The boy in white uniform suddenly knelt on the wooden floor, and the sound of bones hitting the floor made him feel like Lin Sen's heart.

"I'm sure I can win ... I'm sure I can win ..." A camera gradually dimmed.

Dojo with half lights out.

A teenager was kneeling on the ground with his head down in a cassock.

Tomlinson's silent expression and burning tears in his eyes.

This picture is full of countless white lines. I also believe that you will win.

It's just a cloud of smoke. Sooner or later, you will pay the price because you didn't hesitate. nine

At that intersection, Ji Lan hesitated for a long time. Finally, I chose to go all the way along Hushan Road.

Without those winding alleys, we walked to that high-end residential area in less than ten minutes. There is a straight security guard standing at the gate of the community. A lady in a fur coat slowly stepped down from Pontiac with a pug, and then closed the door with an ambiguous smile. When the Mercedes drove away, the peach blossom smile on her face disappeared with it.

JiLan walked into the community, the in the mind still have some uneasy. Fortunately, the security guard didn't stop her.

I vaguely remember that Teng's home is on the twelfth floor of Zone B, and I dare not ask the security guard. I am the only one groping around. But the structure inside the community is more complicated than the alley. When we found section B, she was already sweating.

Go straight along this number and find the twelfth building.

Ring the doorbell downstairs. Once or twice, there is still no picture on the visual screen. However, the small round hole camera is vaguely filled with blue light, which hides countless suspicious eyes. A black car came slowly. JiLan subconsciously turned around.

A middle-aged man in a clean suit got out of the taxi. He opened the door. The lady who came out of the back seat was dressed simply and elegantly, and the handbag in her hand was valuable at first glance. She helped a girl get off the bus slowly. The girl looks a little pale, but there is still a faint smile on her face.

"Small rings? ! "The girl made a weak but surprised voice.

Ji Lan looked at the glamorous family of three across the street. She nervously took out an exercise book from her bag and handed it to Tengxi.

"These are the notes from today's chemistry class, and the next ten formulas will be dictated tomorrow."

"Oh, thank you so much." Tengxi's mother went over and took the notebook and stuffed it into her famous brand bag. Then raise a standard smiling face, "classmate, let's eat at my house today, it's getting late."

Ji Lan looked at his watch, hesitated and said, "It's too late. I must go home today. " Actually, I want to ask Tengxi why she didn't come to class today. But my lips twitched and I couldn't say it.

"I texted you today ... and you didn't reply." Ji Lan tugs at his schoolbag.

"Ah. I have a check-up in the hospital today. I left my cell phone at home. I am really sorry. " Teng Xixi said with a smile.

"check?"

Tengxima scrambled to say, "I'm a little under the weather today. I went to the hospital for an examination, and there was nothing wrong. Just rest more. "

"I suddenly felt chest tightness and asthma today, but I didn't check out any problems. Probably I was too tired these days and didn't rehearse. " TengXi frowned.

"Nothing is good." Ji Lan tugged at his schoolbag.

Feeling a little stiff, I said "I'll go first" and left with my head down.

Teng Xixi's mother still shouted at the back: "Oh, classmate, stay for dinner ..."

But Gillan pretended not to hear and didn't look back. Night has fallen, and the lights of the city are gradually clear in the night.

On a certain floor of a high-rise apartment in the distance, soft and bright lights lit up. 10

In contrast, in another space of the city. Chen Lifen sat in a dark room, staring blankly at a cold dish.

The room is empty, and my daughter hasn't come back yet. Neighbors are cooking with coal stoves in the corridor, and the choking smell of oil smoke seeps through the door.

The scene that happened this afternoon has been hovering in her mind, and a strong sense of shame turned into tears in her eyes. This afternoon, the supermarket was more lively than usual, and people crowded around the checkout counter.

A pale woman with messy hair and a security guard shouted and struggled.

"Why should I go to the monitoring room with you!" The woman's tone is tough.

"Excuse me, please follow us to the monitoring room to check the surveillance video."

"What video? ! Why should I watch the video with you? ! "Women began to cry hysterically.

"You are stealing, please come with us!" The security guard is a little excited.

"You fucking steal!" She knocked over the shopping cart and the apples in the plastic bag fell all over the floor. However, twenty minutes ago, an elevation lens proudly recorded her every move.

Chen Lifen lingered in front of the counter full of apples.

After a long hesitation, I tore off a plastic bag and carefully selected cheap apples.

Take it to the weighing place, pay the money and seal the bag.

Then, she quietly tore off the transparent glue on the plastic bag, grabbed the apples on the counter and stuffed them into the bag, and then sealed the plastic bag.

All this, others didn't notice, but the security guard sitting in the monitoring room saw it clearly. When the scene was deadlocked, a man in a straight suit walked out of the customers waiting in line to pay the bill. He took out his wallet and drew some RMB from it with an indifferent expression.

Then he said to the security guard, "I'll help her compensate for your loss." This money should be enough. "

Chen Lifen looked up awkwardly and saw the familiar face.

When she saw Ji Weiming handing the money to the security guard, she was more disdainful than giving it to a beggar.

Then he turned around, hugged a pregnant woman kindly, greeted her kindly and left the supermarket.

Nails have been embedded in the skin. The humiliation in the chest drowned the pain.

I can be a thief for my daughter.

But I would rather be a thief than a beggar. 1 1

Sometimes, we fantasize that our soul can leave the body and then float over the city to see our situation on this earth. -warm lights in high-rise apartments, heated rooms, and piano music flowing slowly in the living room.

Correspondingly, it is a small room full of turbid air, the corridor outside the door shouts loudly, and the annoying "click click" sewing machine in the mother's room.

-the protection of handsome teenagers and the cordial greetings from family members. When you are in adversity, someone will always save you with their own weak hands, even me, who secretly hates you.

In contrast, I have nowhere to run, the reality that I can't change, and the pain that I can't talk about. I only live in fantasy. I think there are many people like me in this world, but I really don't want to be like them.

12

When I come home from school, the pool is one of the most disturbing moments of the day.

He kept his head down to avoid the crowd and walked at a brisk pace alone. He gradually stepped out of the most crowded place, so he slowed down and breathed a sigh of relief. However, all of a sudden, I bumped into a teenager who was coming on. He bowed his head nervously and said, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" "I can't even look back at the boy in front of me.

"Depend, is that you? I haven't settled accounts with you last time! " It is often such a coincidence that the teenager who accidentally bumped into turned out to be Zou Kai.

"Ah ..." Eat back in horror to the sea.

"I'm going to kill you today!" Zou Kai sneer at once, and then made a gesture, called the back of the two small bludger to follow.

"Come, today the eldest brother let you see what is called a freak! Hahaha! Take off his clothes, quick! "

Behind him, two teenagers with colorful hair snickered and walked to the pool, looking at him curiously but maliciously.

Suddenly, one of the teenagers kicked Xianghai in the stomach. Suddenly cried out in pain to the sea, and a cold sweat broke out on his forehead.

However, when another teenager tried to stand up, he heard a familiar voice behind him.

"What are you doing?"

Smoke flame just passed by carrying a training bag. No one saw Chi's expression at this time. Behind the smoke, he smiled All this, he is accurate, impeccable and perfect.

But he misjudged one thing. He thought Teng Xixi felt the same as him, the dizzy happiness shrouded in thousands of sunshine. And he doesn't know that for Tengxi people, behind that kind of happiness is deep despair. 13

During 1999, the teenagers in the movie were still trapped in their own puzzles. They can't see the road ahead clearly, let alone know the ending of the movie.

However, for Teng Xixi's father, he already knows the end of the matter. But when the end came, he was still in deep fear. Teng Xi's mother leaned against the refrigerator in the kitchen and cried behind his back.

"This day ... has finally come ..."

He didn't speak, and the wrinkles around his eyes gradually overlapped. The refrigerator suddenly made a running sound, similar to the sound of radio waves.

"Sunseeker is alive and well now, isn't it?" He put his arms around Tengxi's mother who was sobbing.

"Don't tell her, okay?" Tengxi's mother turned around.

He did not speak, closed his eyes and nodded deeply.

In the vague line of sight, no one can see the tears in the corner of his eyes. Another scene with blurred lens took place in the bathroom of Chijia.

Naked teenagers soak in a steaming bathtub. He smiled and gently wiped his deformed body with a towel.

The glass mirror was covered with big drops of water. Wet bangs hang on Xianghai's forehead.

Then he stood up, walked to the front of the mirror, and gently wiped the water droplets condensed on the glass with his hand. The image in the mirror gradually became clear.

Open the first drawer of the sink. There is a rusty pair of scissors in it. He looked in the mirror and stroked the bangs on his forehead with his left hand.

Click click.

The bangs on my forehead fell on the sink one by one. In the second drawer of the sink, there is a razor used by my father.

Slowly put the scissors down to the sea and take them out of the box. The sharp blade reflects a sharp reflection.

Then he picked up a razor and shaved his eyebrows with a blade.

Eyebrows fell off one after another. The thick black eyebrows were completely shaved off. The teenager who shaved his eyebrows in front of the mirror stroked his deformed stomach.

There is a dagger hidden in the bottom drawer of the sink. Chi's parents don't know.

It's not long, but sharp enough. Do you want to come out?

-I want to save you. I want to save you.

I want you to know that I love you. The bustling city outside the room, wrapped in the deep night, vaguely uttered a gothic sigh.