The scenery here is very unique.
There is a beautiful West Lake in Hangzhou, and there is an admirable (beautiful) uncle Zhang in my community. Admirable can only be linked with the above sentence, changed to beautiful, saying that beauty is the beauty in his heart.
Speaking of (deleting) this uncle Zhang, he is very popular in the community and has a wide network of contacts. (He) talked and laughed with everyone. Whenever someone wants to buy furniture, they will come to him (and ask him-delete) to help find cheap sources (. Whenever this happens, Zhang will say "OK, no problem, just wait and see" and blurt out an authentic Hangzhou dialect. So, (delete,) within a week, people who come to Zhang for help will ask Zhang to thank them, and Zhang will say, "What?" ("What" is Hangzhou dialect? Thank you. It's a piece of cake. "
I remember that it happened to be New Year's Eve, and our whole family was going out to pay a New Year call. At that time, the wind was cold and our whole family was wrapped up, but even so, we couldn't help shivering. Just out of the community door, I saw a mass of black things at the door of the closed restaurant opposite. At first, we thought that some wicked man had left a bag of rubbish, but at first glance, my father with good eyesight seemed to be crawling. So (then delete) let's take a closer look: a white-haired, thin old woman curled up in the corner, shivering. But we were still standing, and my mother (afraid of causing any trouble) told everyone to hurry up and we walked away. (Punctuation is not good, please change it.)
When we came home for the New Year, when we were approaching the door of the community, we suddenly heard someone say (someone gently asked), "Where do you live?" What about your relatives? "This is the authentic Hangzhou dialect. Looking back, we saw a middle-aged man asking an old man, "Where do you live? What are you doing here on such a cold day? " Another Hangzhou dialect. (As I just said, this sentence is added and this sentence is deleted. Changed to: There is infinite love between the lines. Father looked at it carefully and said (deleted): "Isn't that Lao Zhang? "Yes, that middle-aged man is Uncle Zhang, and that old man is the old woman we met when we set out. I saw Zhang take out her mobile phone from her pocket and ask the old woman if she knew her home phone number, but the old woman just sat there laughing. Zhang picked up his mobile phone and started to make a phone call. At the same time, he took off a coat and gave it to the old woman (note: this detail is good. The full text does a good job in this detail. )。 Mother urged us to go quickly and mind our own business. So I don't know what happened later. Delete-didn't you know later? )
A few days later, my mother (changed me. Judging from the performance of mom above, will she care? I learned from my neighbor that Uncle Zhang found the old woman while walking, and later (deleted) I called the police for fear that something would happen to the old woman. I waited in the cold wind for more than half an hour, and then I went home after the police took the old woman away, but uncle Zhang caught a cold because of this, and the old woman was lost because of some mental disorders. Zhang's considerate spirit is really touching, and not many people have this spirit now. (Punctuation is not good, please change it.)
Since then, Zhang has become famous in society. Some people praised his kindness, while others said that his kindness was rewarded. Uncle Zhang (deleted) has become a beautiful scenery in the community (from a beautiful scenery to a beautiful scenery).
1, you use too much "so". Pay attention to the tempering of sentences. Have you heard the stories of "pushing" and "knocking"?
You should improve your composition by describing the details. Pay attention to the expression, action and psychological description of the characters, and combine the front description with the side description.
3, the protagonist's sentence should account for two-thirds of the full text, in order to highlight the protagonist!