Wen/Si Xiaoniu

When I was in school, every time I had to write an article like "My Mother" in the composition class, other students would use "gentle touch" and " With adjectives such as "kind eyes" and "loving mother", I can only write "My mother is on a business trip again, and I haven't seen her for almost a month." The result of this is that I have successfully obtained it. The teacher’s sympathy gets an A. However, this is also true. When I was growing up in an era when most mothers were with their children every day, my mother was often absent.

Before I entered my second year of high school, the place where I often saw her, except on the phone, was at the train station. After I became sensible, I realized that the reason why I had such a long window of maternal love was because she was more progressive, more capable, and more successful in career than women of the same age at that era. I used to think that compared to other mothers, my mother was a bit special. For example, she didn’t have much time to do housework, spend time with her husband and children, knit sweaters, or chat. Instead, she was often busy traveling, negotiating, and training subordinates. Later, I realized how much influence it would have on a person, especially a girl, to have a capable mother and change the conventional family environment into a family with a strict mother and a loving father, where women respect men.

In the society of the 1980s and 1990s, when every parent was guarding the iron rice bowl, my mother was able to smash the iron rice bowl and take advantage of the spring breeze of reform and opening up to play the popular sport at the time. Go into business. Because of her example, I believe that taking risks and seeking change are the attitudes we should have in life. Therefore, I can accept that even if I haven’t met the other person’s parents and know the other person’s family background, I can agree to the other person’s proposal based only on the character of the person in front of me; I can accept that at the “advanced age” of 30 years old, I am stable in life and work. Sometimes, throw these away and go abroad to return to school.

Maybe you will think this is a bit reckless and stupid, but I want to say that although I am also afraid of failure, it is with this spirit of risk-taking and tossing that you will feel that life may be Any kind of symbol, but it should never be easily a period.

At the end of the college entrance examination, one day I went out to have lunch. After finishing my meal, I found myself a job as a waiter at a food stall. I didn't think much about it at the time. I just didn't feel that my father had said "If you don't study hard, you will have to work hard as a waiter in a restaurant to support yourself", so I didn't give it a try to see if it would work. What a hard job.

I am busy from 10 am to 11 pm every day, and the boss is in charge of two meals of egg fried rice. After the first day at work, my feet were swollen even though I was wearing sneakers. What’s even more cruel is that my parents often come over after dinner to drink tea with the food stall owner to enjoy the cool weather while watching me become exhausted from running around serving customers. After get off work at 11 o'clock, they helped me go home, as I was unable to walk.

In fact, I have been waiting for my mother to give me a step down and ask me to stop doing it. She was actually very distressed when she saw that my feet were swollen as if I had an extra pair of little feet, otherwise she wouldn’t have done it every time. In the evening, he helped me soak my feet and massage them with medicine. However, my mother-in-law didn’t even say half a word asking me to give up. I could only bite the bullet and keep doing it day by day. Later, the owner of the restaurant couldn't stand it anymore and asked me to go home. He thought it would be enough for me to experience it. Anyway, I will go to college soon, so why bother myself so much. His original words were, "When people go to college, their parents take them on trips. Your family is quite unique. You don't have to support the family. You come to work, and your parents appreciate your work every day. Your family's education is unique enough." . ”

That was the first time I learned what hard work is cheap and money is not easy to make, and I was really hardened by this experience. So later on, whether I was moving alone with three or four boxes in a southern city on July day, working out all night on New Year's Eve, or building a 24-hour KFC children's area when I couldn't find a place to live. If you sleep in a coat all night, you will feel that nothing is wrong.

Because I know that compared to my mother who couldn’t buy a ticket on the train and slept under the hard seat with a newspaper spread out, or went on a business trip to Xinjiang where the snow was up to her knees at minus 40 degrees, or traveled alone in other places. Compared to running to the hospital to get stitches and continuing negotiations after a car accident, mine pales in comparison.

As a girl, when you curb your indulgence and squeamishness, you will find that you can move more smoothly in this world.

Every time I read articles about whether it is better to raise children in poverty or in wealth, I feel conflicted. I don’t know which label is more suitable for me.

If you say I am rich, then why was it that when I was four years old, I went to make soy sauce, and when I had five cents left, I decided to buy some bubble gum by myself when I got home, and my mother made me kneel down and face the wall for an hour? Blame me for learning to spend money without saying hello at such a young age before I have made any money; why when I was in college, all the people in my dormitory and classmates bought mobile phones in my freshman year, but I had to wait until my junior year to find an internship. I was allowed to buy a mobile phone in my life; why I would be talked about for a long time if I accidentally left a grain of rice in the bowl while eating. It has never been easy to have more than one year in my family. Working hard for every grain is the eternal family rule and kingly rule.

If you say I was raised poor, when I was three years old and didn’t know the word "recipe", my mother trained me to say to the waiter in a restaurant, "Auntie, I want to eat and bring a book with me." "Let's have a plate of stir-fried squid with cashew nuts." In my hometown, a city in the north that doesn't produce seafood, I was taken to a five-star hotel to eat lobster when I first entered elementary school. Although I was so worthless that I was scared to death and cried, but I didn't dare to eat it. Just one mouthful; as long as it’s the holidays or New Year, I’ll always wear new clothes and shoes from head to toe. They’re different every season. The price is actually about the same as what I’ll spend on clothes twenty years later. At an age when I can still collect annual deposits, The red envelopes did not fall below four digits. (Of course, the ownership of the New Year's money and where it ended up is the same as everyone else~)

My family is not a wealthy family, but my parents are not willing to lose me or spoil me. In fact, it's good to relax like this. It not only lets me know that making money is not easy, but also gives me the best within the consumption level, so that I don't lack a sense of security. I don’t know whether it is better to raise a child poor or rich. I only know that for people like me who are “raised indiscriminately”, your salary and family background will be ranked very low when considering marriage; real estate certificate I don’t care at all whose name is written on it; I won’t ask you to hand over your salary and then calculate how much pocket money I’ll give you every month; of course, I won’t pursue famous brands either. Comfortable clothes always come first; I don’t care about vacationing. Is it necessary to go to Europe and foreign islands? As for food, you still have to pay attention to it. Malatang and hot pot are my favorites in life.

It is said that if you study science in China, you will be able to travel all over the world without fear. When I was a sophomore in high school, I saw the gap between myself and my classmates who were really smart and good at science subjects, so I immediately decided to switch to liberal arts. When the liberal arts class was divided into classes, I went directly to the dean of the school, and with his approval, I moved the table from the science class to the liberal arts class. When I got home from school in the evening, I just said to my parents at the dinner table, "I'm switching to liberal arts."

When I was a sophomore, I went traveling with my friends and met a boy from a school in the same city. After getting along with each other for a long time, I became very fond of me. After returning home, he spent two hours every weekend drawing diagonal paths to tease me. After having dinner twice, I found that he was really not my cup of tea, even though I had recently fallen out of love and needed healing, and even though he was indeed in good condition. When we met for the third time, I went to his school and invited him to dinner, and then told him, "I don't have feelings for you. If you want to be friends, we can continue to be friends. If you don't want to, just treat it as a breakup dinner today." ”

After graduating from college, I went to Shenzhen with my friends to find a job. One weekend, I helped another classmate who had already established himself in Shenzhen to organize exhibition activities. His company was going to hold a financial investment-related salon that day and invited some high-quality companies in the circle to participate. Maybe I was diligent and smart in dealing with people that day. A company executive who came to the salon gave me his business card and hoped that I could go to their company for an interview. I went and got an offer after passing several rounds of interviews, but I still declined their invitation when I wrote a Thank You letter to the executive, even though I didn’t have any other job offers at that time. I said in the letter, "Thank you for giving me this opportunity to exercise. Although I am quite confused about my future job, I know very clearly that I do not want to do finance."

Like many Compared with people who don’t know how to make choices and refuse, my decisions may sometimes be hasty and not carefully thought out, but if you have been used to seeing me as a mother since childhood, how I make decisions right away and how I make decisions on the spot. You don't have to face difficulties every time when the time comes, how to weigh the pros and cons, and quickly choose between giving and taking. Then you can better understand that it is not difficult to be bold, as long as you are willing to bear the corresponding price.

I have seen too many strong women in movies and TV series. They are wonderful at work, but very miserable in their personal lives - they are either alone all the time, or their families are unhappy and their husbands are separated. It seems that in this society, as long as women have a slightly better career, love, marriage or family will be particularly miserable. Fortunately, my mother-in-law killed such a distorted view of the world in time.

We have been married for 32 years. We always hold hands together when we go out. At home, they flirt with each other’s baby and yell at each other non-stop, which makes me get goosebumps. Already immune; as for the explosive scenes of kissing anytime, anywhere, I have seen them since the time when they were not suitable for children. They had a lot of conflicts and quarrels when they were young, but looking back now, it seems that they were all small hurdles and obstacles set up for their current happiness.

There is a popular saying on the Internet that the best education for children is for parents to love each other. If measured and judged by this, then I must have graduated from Harvard.

Are there no disadvantages to growing up in such an atypical Chinese family? Of course there is. The biggest problem is that the existence of such a mother-in-law will make you somewhat inferior. How to surpass her is a problem. For example, how to make yourself look like a young woman in her thirties or forties when you are a grandma; how to keep yourself from losing the ability to make money; how to always control your weight in double digits; how to use exquisite makeup without slacking off or being lazy. and dress appropriately to face others; how to make up your mind, make decisions and have the courage to take on everything in times of crisis. Just thinking about it, I feel it’s great but so difficult.

END.