who said that as soon as we came into this world, we were running towards death. People who start before you are performing tragicomedy after tragicomedy in front of you. Your danger is that you may be involved in it all the time, no matter what you show, whether you are happy or sad. Perhaps, in the end, at the moment when other people's souls are drifting with the wind, some silk threads that you can't see and involve you will drive a certain air around you in ignorance, and then turn into a sigh from your mouth.
I, Meiying, in the novel, am experiencing these things.
She lost her parents when she was young, perhaps because she was young, beautiful and short memories just brushed her heart lightly, and subtle feelings became irrelevant. The emotion that grandma brought to her is real, and she has been walking with her, so clear and clear that as long as she is stripped off a little, she can deeply feel that kind of pain.
at the moment when you open the door, someone can return your faint smile, which makes your heart blossom. That person greets you to sit down and have a simple dinner with you at a low table, talking about trivial things and exchanging light emotions. It is this smell of relatives that can always flow into your nasal cavity in a familiar place at the right time, spread along the capillaries to all parts of your body, and shut the noise out of your atrium, leaving only a pure and warm feeling.
However, one day, even those familiar smells still exist in familiar places, but because they have no vitality, they are mixed with cold dust. When they are sucked into the lungs, they will make people cry.
For Meiying, grandma's death seems to be without warning. Staying in the familiar big house, she seems to be able to see her grandmother sitting at the table with a smile. When making a loud noise in the kitchen, she is worried that she will disturb her sleeping grandmother and pass by the security room of the community. She also thinks that her grandmother likes to have tea and chat with people here. Once everything you see is the product of fantasy, everything and all emotions will become empty.
It's like walking alone on a dark and desolate mountain road. The lights behind you have long been covered by dense jungle. You look back on tiptoe, but you can't see anything, and the road in front of you is also vaguely hidden in the darkness. What should I do? Only the sky overhead responds to you with silence, which is inscrutable, like ridicule and sigh.
Meiying began to rely on the kitchen. It seems that only the water in the sink can prove that there is still life flowing. Only the burning stove can give her a little warmth. Only the buzzing of the refrigerator can prove that something is still beating with its own rhythm, for example, her own heart.
Although people grow up with love, it is always difficult for them to restrain their loneliness and loneliness. Losing my grandmother's beautiful shadow is like this, just like falling into a cosmic black hole. Is it true that one day, everyone will be torn apart in the darkness of time and then disappear without a trace?
when a person leaves, what will be left behind? Maybe it's a few objects with his breath, maybe it's a few words that can haunt people's hearts, or maybe it's an encounter that everyone can't predict and inadvertently create in the world. The moment Xiong knocked on the door of Meiying, new guidance began.
Meiying saw Xiongyi suddenly appearing at grandma's funeral. When she was burning incense, Xiongyi closed her swollen eyes and her hands trembled. When she looked up and saw grandma's portrait, tears welled up in her eyes. He looked so sad that Meiying couldn't help feeling ashamed.
Xiongyi works in a flower shop that grandma often goes to. Grandma likes to arrange flowers and goes to the flower shop at least twice a week. In Meiying's impression, grandma often mentioned the boy in the flower shop, with slender limbs and handsome face. Before the funeral, Meiying only met Xiongyi once or twice, and the boys always seemed to be busy with enthusiasm. However, in Meiying's eyes, no matter how gentle and friendly Xiongyi's words and deeds were, it always gave her a feeling of being independent and inaccessible.
At first, Meiying didn't know that she and Xiongyi were partners, partners on the road full of death.
Xiongyi's mother died early, and it was always difficult for his father to spend his growing time with him because of his work. Xiongyi and his father like to buy all kinds of electrical appliances home, perhaps with the same feelings as Meiying-only those mechanical sound waves knocking on air molecules can always remind people that other things still exist.
the male keeps a pot of plants. When my mother died, I hoped to see something alive at all times. My father bought the first pot of plants. After my mother died, the pot of plants withered because of no careful care. Xiongyi remembers his father's tears, and his silent sadness reminds him of the smallness and fragility of his life. The world will not exist because of a certain life, and the probability of misfortune arrival will never change, which is completely beyond your own decision.
People always have appreciate each other's emotion because of some kind of * * * same emotion, and the sensitive olfactory nerve guides all this. Meiying and Xiongyi, as if in the dark, both stood at the top of the cliff and looked at the hell beneath them. They are in the same position and exist in each other's eyes, but they can't hold hands. The true feelings in your chest, no matter how the other person feels, can't be shared, even if it is a fraction.
Meiying had a dream. In the dream, she wiped the sink in her kitchen, and the once-hated yellow-green floor smelled of nostalgia. During the time, Xiongyi appeared, holding a rag and helping her wipe the floor behind her. Meiying felt that she saw a savior.
Everything in the house has been moved out, and it is as empty as a vacuum glass cabinet. Meiying made a cup of tea for Xiongyi and chatted without a word.
It was not because of willfulness that Meiying was taken to live in her own home. All these were decided after careful consideration with her father. Xiongyi told Meiying all this. He thought that he was the only one who could understand Meiying's mood at this time. Sadness and fear are pervasive when there is no family to share happiness and complain about depression and no one to rely on.
When Meiying blurted out that it would disturb her sleeping grandmother, the evil gem of sadness gave off its cold light. Meiying realized that it was extremely disturbing to live alone with an old man. At the beginning, when I was with my grandmother, my life was simple and happy, and I didn't realize this uneasiness. Now, I wake up like a dream in my dream, and Meiying is in fear of "grandma's death" all the time.
Sorrow and fear are heat waves, surging and aggressive. Self-escape is like a paradox. On the one hand, emotions guide you to accept them, and on the other hand, the subconscious tells you to try to escape as soon as possible. In such a situation, the only thing they can do is to try to infect each other. You persuaded me to turn around, and I persuaded you to turn around and walk in the opposite direction to the cliff together.
The flames in the frying pan of hell will not be small, and the heat wave will continue to rise again and again. However, when they help each other to stay away from the cliff, the power of touching will gradually become weak.
At last, these two hearts can try to get close. The coldness left by death and the searing heat caused by pain will gradually dissipate, and the warmth will come to life, surrounding the heart and the heart in a wonderful way. Just like Momoko Kikuchi sang: distant lamp towers/rotating lights/as if through the jungle/into the night of two people ...