Let me talk about my family first. My grandma and grandma died. According to my mother's practice, we usually go to Tomb-Sweeping Day to visit the grave. In my family, my mother usually does these things, and sometimes she forgets to go. When she was alive, whether it was her grandmother's birthday, or her great-grandparents' birthday, or what was delicious at ordinary times, my mother, uncle and aunt or two other aunts would give it to the elderly, so we didn't really pay much attention to Tomb-Sweeping Day's grave-sweeping. Then the old man who died made a sacrifice on his birthday. The old man liked to eat it when he was alive. Only grandpa is here now. Before his birthday, it was agreed who would cook, and then everyone would have dinner together that day.
I haven't seen my grandmother, and neither has my brother, so it doesn't affect my grandmother. My mother and my period don't go to the grave in Tomb-Sweeping Day. My uncle does it at home, and then my mother and menstruation go to grandpa's birthday every year. Then everyone bought a large roll of firecrackers and put them in front of the grave to repair the cemetery. My family will also offer sacrifices to the elderly during the Spring Festival, and then burn paper money for grandma alone.
In fact, one thing people do when they die is to comfort themselves, and the other thing is to show it to outsiders. If it is really good, treat the old people well when they are alive, whether they are their parents or their living in-laws. Naturally, there are not so many regrets when you die. I have seen that when old people are alive, life is worse than that of people without children. When they died, they beat gongs and drums at home for several days and let funeral music play for several days. I once sent a message in a circle of friends: everyone in his family is happy except sadness. When the old man was alive, his children didn't see all kinds of sadness. After his death, outsiders felt filial!
I have experienced the death of great-grandfather, great-grandmother and grandmother. My grandmother has never spoken ill of her in her life. On the contrary, my great-grandmother is very picky, while my mother's sister-in-law who should be filial at ordinary times is not filial to them. Personally, I have feelings for my great-grandfather, because my great-grandmother preferred sons to daughters. As far as I can remember, my great-grandmother has been yelling at me and my cousin, but she remembers my birthday every year. I secretly cooked some eggs for me to eat quietly. My grandmother is honest. She gave birth to six children in her life and never enjoyed a day of happiness. The eldest four died, leaving my father and four brothers. When my brother-in-law got married, he was less than two years old and still enjoyed happiness, only to find that his cancer was terminal. At that time, my cousin and I were in high school. I come back to see her once a week and give her a bath and shampoo. It took two months from diagnosis to death. Finally, before she died, she kept asking my mother if I wanted to go back and see her. My mother said that she would come back after the weekend holiday. One Friday was a holiday. Because my classmates were going to my home, I didn't go back to my hometown that day. As a result, I went around three o'clock that night. Thirteen years have passed now, which is my heart disease and my only regret. So I often dream about my grandmother and great-grandfather, dreaming that they can't eat well or wear well. I feel guilty in my heart and then burn them.
Tomb-Sweeping Day's grave-sweeping was originally to pay homage to the deceased ancestors, and to pursue the future cautiously and inspire future generations. Tomb-Sweeping Day, holding a red flag and wearing a red scarf, we lined up neatly and marched to the revolutionary martyrs cemetery on foot to sweep the graves for the revolutionary martyrs.
What we respect is cultural inheritance.
Your mother and my mother died in the same year. This year, Tomb-Sweeping Day will pay homage to the grave and express the feelings of the younger generation.
It's all mom.
It's really good.
Loving couples walk together, respecting their mother first and then their mother-in-law. Or worship your mother first and then your mother-in-law.
Is there any doubt about this?
The Qingming holiday lasts for three days, one day is a legal holiday, and it will be supplemented for three days before and after misappropriation.
It's enough for you to clear your grave-sweeping schedule.
Asked these words, in fact, there are nine ninety-nine and the youngest ninety-nine.
Not much to say here. So that the mother under the grave will not be disturbed.
Now Tomb-Sweeping Day is also on holiday. If the distance between the mother's grave and her mother-in-law's grave is within 100 km, this should not be a problem. Staggered worship time. If the distance is too far, the husband and wife can only go to the grave separately, and it will be uncomfortable not to go to either side. Ten years of life and death are two boundless, disapproving and unforgettable. My mother died ten years ago this year. You know, mom, I miss you very much!
Grave-sweeping in Tomb-Sweeping Day is a traditional custom of the Chinese nation, aiming at comforting the dead, comforting the living, being grateful for life and cherishing life.
According to the ritual custom in Datong area, Tomb-Sweeping Day's daughter can't visit her parents' graves. The reason is that in people's traditional concept, a daughter is going to marry. After marriage is the husband's family, that is, people often say "outsiders." Outsiders are not in the family tree sequence, so they can't visit their parents' graves.
Of course, these statements are the dross of feudal thoughts and bad habits for thousands of years. They are also groundless and should be resolutely abolished. But the reality is that most people continue to use this practice. If the married daughter goes to visit the grave of her deceased parents, those who insist that her daughter can't go to visit her parents will laugh, and people have to follow this practice.
Of course, if there is no place where the subject is located, there are many ways, such as sweeping the grave at the wrong time, or you and your husband sweeping the grave separately.
Anyway, my mother and mother-in-law died in the same year. As a wife, there are many ways to go to the grave. But try to respect the local sacrificial customs and do as the Romans do.
For life, talk about life, I am a farmer talking about life, welcome to pay attention to communication.
Not the same day. If it's Tomb-Sweeping Day, it's up to you. According to the cultural tradition in China, you have to identify yourself first. Whose family are you from? If you think you belong to someone, go to the grave. In fact, this is not a problem at all, but you will ask this question only if you have other ideas.
My husband's family is from Liaoning, and their death is more painful for the living. They will put up a mourning hall for three days, and some will put it up for seven days. When my father-in-law died, I had just given birth to a child for two months and couldn't go. My father and my uncle went. I heard from my father that the whole person pushed the cremator and cremated it thoroughly, so that the family members could hold the ashes in their hands. The big bones had to be smashed with bricks and picked up in the urn, and the old uncle was scared to hide out.
According to the custom, worship is mostly completed before Tomb-Sweeping Day. Generally, men worship their ancestors, while women worship their parents in their parents' homes.
If you ask this question, I guess you may be an only child, or my husband wants you to pay homage to his dead family. If so, it will be done in two days. If the two families are far away, I suggest telling my husband to find his mother separately.
I hope I can help you.
This kind of problem is simply a very simple matter, and there is no need to entangle it at all, because there is no rule on which day to sweep the grave during the Qingming period. If you are your own master, you can choose any two days during the Qingming period, even if it is an auspicious day. There is no conflict at all about how to sweep the grave for mother and mother-in-law, as long as you travel by yourself or consider other participants, as long as you choose two suitable days respectively.
China is a vast country, and customs vary greatly from place to place. There is no uniform and universally applicable standard, let alone experts. Mother-in-law and mother are relatives of your husband and wife, and they should all go to the grave. Tomb-Sweeping Day can visit graves in the first three days and the last four days. It doesn't matter who comes first. The so-called mother's change from relatives to relatives after marriage is a metaphysical dogmatism poisoned by feudal ethics, which does not conform to the present times.
Theoretically, it must be to sweep the mother-in-law's grave, because you are from her mother-in-law's family, and it is hard to say that you are still sleeping under her ground fifty years later. In some places, married women are forbidden to visit graves. Even if you want to go, you have to have a man at home to lead the way, such as a younger brother or nephew.
In other words, there is no limit to the ancestral graves of in-laws, but the bride's family is completely different.
The purpose of sweeping graves is to commemorate grateful elders. The nature of where to go first and then where to go has not changed much, but the customs and customs in some places are different. Old people should pay tribute to them when they are alive. Even if you don't go to heaven for three or five years, you can draw a circle to pay homage. People mainly look at your filial piety, not at your grave-sweeping. You are not filial to the elderly, and you take the ball to sweep the grave every day.