Little joke story set 1: selling sweet fart
A family's parents died young, leaving only two brothers. Big brother is very exploitative and harsh on his younger brother, and often gets a beating.
A few months later, eldest brother took his wife. As the saying goes, if you are not a family, you will not enter a house. My brother's sister-in-law is as bad to him as my brother.
The only house became the eldest brother's new house. The cruel brother and sister-in-law kicked him out of the house and lived in the cowshed with the only cow in the family.
Every day, I want my brother to use Niu Gengdi in the field. I don't have enough to eat and don't wear warm clothes. Extremely hard.
One day, my brother fell ill on the ground because of fatigue. My younger brother saw that his younger brother in the field was dying, so he took the cow to plow the field himself.
However, no matter how his brother whipped him, the cow refused to take a step forward. In a rage, my brother beat the cow alive.
My brother was heartbroken when he learned the news. Crying with cows all day and all night. Finally, I dug a hole and buried the cow.
Every other month, my brother takes some tender grass that cows like to eat and puts it on the cow's grave with chopsticks.
On one occasion, my brother was surprised to find that a bamboo had grown in the middle of the grave. It happened that I didn't bring chopsticks this time. Cut two chopsticks instead of bamboo.
An amazing scene appeared. As soon as my brother cuts it, he will drop a piece of gold from the bamboo. Surprised, the only way is that the old cow has a spirit to save himself.
My kind brother took a piece of gold and hired someone to build a new house. My brother is jealous. He is surprised that his brother is suddenly so rich. As soon as I rolled my eyes, I asked my brother.
The kind brother didn't hide anything, and honestly told the whole process.
My brother immediately followed suit and took the tender grass to worship the old cow. Deliberately chopping bamboo without chopsticks.
However, the expected gold did not fall, but piles of smelly cow dung. In a rage, my brother cut all the bamboo, threw it aside and left.
When my brother came over again, he saw bamboo thrown underground. Crying, packing, ready to go home as firewood.
There happened to be some soybeans at home, so my brother used this bamboo to fry soybeans. When the beans are ripe, they smell very good. My brother couldn't help eating one, and suddenly he couldn't help but want to fart.
This fart is unusual, and it has no taste at all. Instead, it smells indescribable. People want to smell it.
The neighbor next door was attracted by the fragrance, so he had to spend money to let his brother put one on. My brother's face is incredible. Thank you again, Niu Lao.
In the days to come, my brother made a living by selling fart. Gradually, a signboard selling fragrant fart was put up.
My brother once again asked my brother about the process. I saw a few bamboos left in my brother's house. Catch it.
Go home and pour a big pot of soybeans and bamboo to fry together. After frying, I can't wait to put the beans together and sell incense farts in the street. ......
Everyone thought it was a younger brother, but when they saw it, they all sneered. My brother didn't believe everyone when he saw it. Caught a handful of beans and ate them. Waiting for the arrival of sweet fart.
? Bang? There was a loud noise and my brother's fart came out. However, the smell is extremely unpleasant. A bunch of people waiting for the fart suddenly smelled the smell and angrily picked up a bamboo pole to block the younger brother's ass.
From then on, the only one who sold incense farts, his younger brother also had a daughter-in-law a few years later. Live a happy life.
However, the old cow who brought him good luck always went to worship and never forgot.
Selected Short Jokes 2: Married for Seven Days
On the first day of marriage, the wife asked, Do you love me?
I never even thought about it. I blurted out: Al! ?
The wife is angry: Such a hasty answer, against me. ?
I blame myself.
On the second day of marriage, my wife asked: Do you love me?
I learned a lesson and thought it over.
The wife is angry: You need to consider whether you love me or not. Do you regret marrying me?
I blame myself.
On the third day of marriage, my wife asked: Do you love me?
I don't know how to answer, sweat gushed out: this, that?
The wife is angry: Is this question difficult to answer? Forget it. It's not hard for you. You don't have to answer. ?
I blame myself.
On the fourth day of marriage, the wife asked: Do you love me?
I decided to test her first: guess! ?
The wife is angry: I want to know, ask you? Living with someone who can't guess his mind is really tiring. ?
I blame myself.
On the fifth day of marriage, my wife asked: Do you love me?
I'm determined to cross the rubicon and take the offensive as the defense: Do you love me or not?
The wife is angry: You are really boring because you are glib and confuse right with wrong. ?
I blame myself.
On the sixth day of marriage, my wife asked: Do you love me?
I lost my mind, took out what was in my pocket and stuffed it into her hand: this is a cigarette, you take it; This is my wallet. You can take it if you want. This is my salary card. If you like it, can you accept it
Wife laughs:? Honey, that's very kind of you! ?
On the seventh day of marriage, after cooking and washing dishes, my wife gave me a cigarette. I was hiding in the bathroom smoking when I heard my wife talking on the phone. Hee hee, love my husband very much?
Little joke story set 3: Stolen secret recipe from family.
Last night, at the invitation of a friend, we ate in a restaurant. Very lively. During the dinner, I saw my friend Xiao Zhang watching the delicious food at this table. He just sat there and didn't see him move chopsticks.
At this time, the friend at the same table ignored him and just put the best food in his stomach first. It's just that after three rounds of wine, the taste is mixed, and Zhang still doesn't move chopsticks. In this way, everyone is a little embarrassed.
So, a friend advised Xiao Zhang: Is the food and wine not to your taste? Even if it doesn't agree with my appetite, how much can I get hungry after eating some summer sleeping mats?
As soon as this friend said this, Xiao Zhang replied: I really have no appetite! I have a bad stomach recently. Pull whatever you eat.
Xiao Zhang replied in this way, and the friends present were quite helpless. At this moment, Xiao Li next to me spoke to me: Isn't Da Zhou's wife a doctor? Ask Zhou's wife what to eat another day to get back to her original state.
After Xiao Li finished this, I replied: My wife is a doctor in obstetrics and gynecology, not in gastroenterology. If Xiao Zhang's wife is pregnant and gives birth to a baby, she can still consult some fertility knowledge. What can I ask of my wife? It is better to log on to the story website online and find a doctor with excellent medical skills and a part-time writer.
I didn't feel anything when I said this, but Xiao Zhang was happy and said to me, Zhou, your wife is a doctor. I think your skills should be better than yours! Your wife knows medical skills. What you should know is magic. On weekdays, you have the most bad ideas. Many incurable diseases that even experts and professors can't solve come to you. Do you use magic? Dad? As long as it is solved, it will not be a problem. As soon as you come out of the mountain, I estimate that many people in Maoshan will lose their jobs.
Mom, this is not helping me. I thought to myself. Then, Xiao Zhang continued to say to me: Da Zhou! Help! I have a bad stomach recently. What do I eat and pull? What can I do to restore it?
What to eat, what to pull. Go back to the past? Hear such a sentence. At this time, I put on a pair of exquisite old Chinese medicine models advertised on telephone poles, and asked him to put his ears together first. Xiao Zhang doesn't understand: just say it and let everyone share it. Why put your ears together? I said to him: Don't share this with other friends, especially this table. I won't tell you unless you put your ear up, because what I want to tell you is an ancestral secret recipe stolen from someone else's house.
Helpless, Xiao Zhang had to put his ears together. At this time, I whispered to him: according to the symptoms of what you eat and pull, I will tell you a secret recipe. Don't tell anyone at this table that the secret recipe is eating shit. After you eat shit, if it is not shit, you can slap me.