You can't live without talking all your life. Some people will say, but if they can't, just open your mouth and say it. It's not that simple. Spoken English is also a deep knowledge. Today, let's talk about learning to speak, how to communicate with strangers quickly and build emotions.

Some people are afraid to talk to strangers. "Don't talk to strangers" and "Don't dare to talk to strangers" are two different things. The former is to warn us to know how to protect ourselves and not to open our hearts to strangers casually, while the latter is not conducive to expanding our interpersonal relationship and affecting getting along with others. "We are often afraid of strangers, for example, when we can't think of anything interesting or meaningful to say at the party; When we desperately want to make a good impression in the job interview. In fact, whenever and wherever we meet a stranger, we will feel uneasy and don't know how to open the topic. However, we should know that knowing how to meet people freely can expand our circle of friends and enrich our lives.

For many years, Addis, a famous American journalist, traveled around the world as a journalist, and his many conversations with strangers were unforgettable. He said, "It's like you keep opening some gift boxes without knowing what's in them beforehand. To tell the truth, the attraction of strangers is that we know nothing about them. For example, Addis, a nun in New Orleans, looks gentle and indifferent. But Addis soon discovered that her job turned out to be to help rude young ex-prisoners turn over a new leaf.

He also met a serious old woman on the train in Canada. She said she would go to a village in the Arctic Circle, because she heard that she would see polar bears walking in the street there! Addis said, "Almost every stranger I talked to has benefited me a lot.

A gardener he met in the park told Addis Ababa that he knew more about plant growth than he had learned from anywhere. A taxi driver in King Valley invited Addis to his unpaved home for tea, which made him experience a completely different way of life.

People we have never met can even help us know ourselves. Because we may tell a stranger what we often want to say, but we are afraid to tell our relatives and friends, and they become a new mirror for us to know ourselves.

With luck, an encounter with a stranger will develop into a lifelong friendship. Addis said: "There are no strangers in the world, only friends who have never met." So, how to make good use of this moment when you meet a stranger next time?

First, we must first understand the solution.

British President Roosevelt is an expert in communication. Before he was elected president in his early years, he saw many strangers sitting at the table at an important meeting. How to make these strangers your friends? Roosevelt found a reporter he was familiar with, asked him about the names and situations of the people he wanted to know, and then took the initiative to call out their names and talk about something they were interested in. The move was a great success. These people soon became staunch supporters of Roosevelt's election.

Second, learn to choose the right topic.

If you feel that there is really nothing to say, you can consider the following topics:

1. Tell your feelings frankly. For example, you may whisper to yourself at a dinner party, "I am too shy to attend such a party." Or on the contrary, you think many people hate this kind of party, but I like it very much. "No matter what you think, you should tell your feelings to the first person who seems willing to listen." This person may be your confidant. Anyway, it's better to say frankly "I'm shy" or "I don't know anyone here" than to appear stiff and indifferent. The most talkative person is the one who dares to express himself. This has another advantage. If you can be honest with each other, the other person will freely confide in you. Once, Addis chatted with a psychologist who wrote a good book. Addis is usually very comfortable with this kind of visit and will get a lot of benefits from it, so he was surprised when he found himself stuttering and didn't know how to speak. Finally, Addis said, "I don't know why I'm a little afraid of you." The psychologist was very interested in Addis's statement, and then everyone chatted naturally.

2. Tell me about the surrounding environment. If you are curious, you will naturally find the topic of conversation. Once a stranger looked around and broke the silence and said, "You can see all kinds of life at cocktail parties!" " "This is a very interesting prologue.

Addis once took a train and sat next to a quiet lady. He tried his best to get her to talk for hours without success. Half an hour later, when we were about to break up, we passed a small bay and saw an independent house in the distance. She stared at the house until it was out of sight. Then she suddenly said, "When I was a child, I lived in such a deserted place, in a lighthouse." Tell her about the desolation and beauty of that life.

3. Take the other person as the topic. Once, Addis heard a lady say to a strange lady, "You are so beautiful." Perhaps, most of us don't have the courage to say so, but we can say, "I saw you come in from a distance, and I thought …" or "The book you are reading is my favorite."

Ask questions. Many unforgettable conversations begin with a question. Addis Ababa often asks others; "How is your work every day?" Usually people will answer enthusiastically. We must avoid disappointing topics. Maybe no one wants to listen to you, such as dogs, children, food and recipes, your health, golf, family disputes. Therefore, it is best not to talk about these issues in the conversation. Churchill thought that children should not always be talked about. Once, an ambassador said to him, "Winston? You know, Sir Churchill, I have never told you about my grandson once. " Churchill patted him on the shoulder and said, "I know, dear partner, I really appreciate it!" " "

Third, learn to guide others into dialogue.

In conversation, in addition to arousing each other's interest, we should also learn to guide each other to join the conversation. Some people can't guarantee a lively conversation when dating. In fact, this is a very easy skill to master. Just ask some questions that are very easy to answer, and the conversation can continue. But if you just ask, "Nice day, isn't it?" The other party can answer in one sentence: "Yes, the weather is really good!" In this way, the dialogue will not go on. If you want your interlocutor to speak freely, you might as well use the following sentences to guide you: "Why,,,,?" "Why don't you think ...? ... "according to your idea, it should be ...? ""How do you explain ...? "Can you give me an example?" In a word, "how", "what" and "why" are the three magic weapons to ask questions.

Fourth, speak concisely and methodically.

Lack of temperance is one of the worst language habits. Whether talking to friends or giving a speech in front of thousands of people, the most important thing is to "get to the point". Almost everyone who is a CEO of a company thinks that the most troublesome thing in business is to speak incoherently. I don't know how many people waste their time on those idle and boring words. If the purpose of what you say is to tell others, just say it, don't go too far.

Five, talk to avoid too much "I"

The most commonly used word in spoken English is "I". These people should learn from Socrates and say, "What do you think?" There is a joke that a gentleman used 36 "I" s in a three-minute speech at a party of a gardening club. Not me, but mine, my garden and my fence. As a result, an acquaintance of his couldn't help coming up to him and saying, it's a pity that you lost your wife. ""Lost his wife? "He was taken aback." Don't! She's fine! "Really? So she has nothing to do with the garden you mentioned? "

We need the stimulation of a stranger, someone who is different from us and is still a mystery for the time being. Besides, meeting strangers affects you to some extent. The best situation is that each other's hearts and souls are close, and an encounter becomes a part of your life. Everyone wants to say what others expect them to say, and they are worried when they feel different from others. In fact, it is because of this difference that life can become a big stage. If we are honest with each other and know each other for nothing else, then we can talk about speculation and meet happily.