The Pallet on the Stage -- Failure (Cloth Castle)
The Whip on the Stage -- Plus Size (Fake Horse)
Fire in the Hall of the Goddess of Mercy -- Wonderful (Temple Calamity)
Sun Monkey Sitting in the Hall of the Golden Emperor -- Unlike the Benevolent (Human) Monarch
Shouxing Shooting at Targets -- Old Catch Phrase (Gun)
Shouxing Playing the
Blowing fire on straw -- stingy
Running a horse in the alley -- hard to get out
Crossing the river by pulling the beard -- excessive modesty
Pulling a bell in mid-air -- 空想
Grabbing bees to eat honey -- brazenly unaware of the stings
Buying a camel at the Temple of the Protection of the State -- no such thing
Buying a camel at the Temple of the Kingdom of China -- no such thing
The Temple of the Protection of the State of the People
The Temple of the Kingdom of China is the only place that has ever had a camel, and it's not the only place that's been bought.
Peppercorns fall into rice -- trouble
Flies fly into the eyes of cows -- looking for tiredness
Bean dregs stick to the door -- not sticky
Douji wood on fire -- anxious
Bean curd dries up and cooks meat -- there is a portion of meat
Bean curd milk to make food -- how can I use words (salt)
Tofu milk to make food -- which is not enough?
Two people hoeing -- they don't care about hiring people
Two hundred dollars' worth of peanuts -- they have to be peeled
Two hands holding birthday peaches -- it's a good idea
Two horns blowing in the same tune -- they think of the same thing
The dry phantom worshiping the Night Fork -- it's all about the ghosts
Bamboo shoots in the garden -- nephews
Men don't have to worry about the food
Bamboo shoots in the garden -- it's a good idea
Men who don't want to be a part of the family <
Men don't beat their wives -- good fortune
Poetry by a scholar -- two hands
The bald man takes off his hat -- the first name
The girl from the He family is given to the Zheng family -- just right
The boat in the stomach -- an insider
The tortoise measuring rice -- what a sound
Smoke coming out of the rice cooker -- a mystery
The rice cooker -- a mystery
Smoke coming out of the rice cooker
Smoke in the rice pot -- confused
Mosquito coils under the bed -- no follow up
Frozen tofu -- difficult
Hot beans in a cold pot -- the more noisy the stir-fry, the colder it gets
Door god on the stove -- words in a painting
Sandstone hitting a green stone -- a solid hit
Boats on the beach -- a boat on the beach -- a boat on the ground
Boat on the beach -- a boat on the beach -- a boat on the water
Cotton in one's bosom -- soft (warm) heart
Castor in one's bosom -- comfort (comb) heart
Poor man buys rice -- a sound (liter) head
Poor carpenter opens his business -- only one sentence (saw)
Pot tinkerer falls into a somersault -- reverse (iron)
Tianshi Zhang goes to the sea -- mo(touch) strange
Tianshi Zhang kneels in muddy water -- begging for help
Zhang Guolao's donkey -- no wonder
The rooster wears a hat -- official (crown) on top of official (crown)
The chicken's head knocks soot -- a few (chicken) heads suffer
The chicken pecks at the ants -- just the right thing to do
The bottom of the shoe doesn't need to use an awl -- really good
The rail made of paper -- can't rely on it
The railing made of paper
Papier-maché stools -- can't be made to sit on
Papier-maché stoves -- can't be used
Papier-maché lutes -- can't be talked about
Donkey skins on the wall -- don't look like a picture
Crutches in the hospital -- self-aware treatment of the feet
Frogs jumping on the drums -- know what they are doing Frogs jumping on the drums -- understand what they are sayingThey are not the only people in the world who know what they are saying.
Leaving the coal kiln on crutches -- unlucky step by step
Pulling the beard across the street -- humble (holding the beard)
The horse on the painting -- not strange (riding)
Jujube kernel cuts off the board -- not a few words (sawing)
Selling cloth without a ruler -- ill-intentioned (measuring)
Selling shrimp without scales -- blindness (shrimp)
The butt of the firebug -- the butt of the campfire -- the butt of the firebug
The ass of a firebug -- not a lot (bright)
The monk with an umbrella -- no law (hair)
The monk with a house divided -- a lot of trouble (temple)
The monk sitting in a cavern -- nothing (temple)
The monk dragging a piece of wood -- something happened (temple)
The house of a monk -- a wonderful (temple)
The monk's brain -- no law (hair)
The monk's brain -- no law (hair)
The monk with an axe -- no measure (measure) <
The dog eats cucumber -- at the wrong time
The blind man makes fritters -- blindly
The blind man wears glasses -- intelligent
The cowherd eats crabs -- not to be mentioned
The man who fries salted vegetables puts salt in them -- too idle
The pan on the bed is reformed
Washing yellow lotus by the river -- a foreign (sheep) atmosphere
Washing yellow lotus by the river -- Ho (river) bitter
Growing vegetables in the river -- Not burnt (pouring)
Oil pouring on candles -- One heart (wick)
Mason fixing rats -- Perfunctory (eye)
Mason with no ashes -- Waiting for the bricks
Mason's beckoning -- Wanting you (mud)
Mason's mason's tiles -- Lightly drawing (painting) the surface
Mason's tiles -- Lightly drawing (painting) the surface
Mason's tiles -- Lightly drawing (painting) the surface
The clay Bodhisattva has grass on his body -- panicked
The mudskipper plays drums -- nonsense
The timid carpenter -- just one sentence
The lantern hangs in the air -- mysterious
The empty shuttles mending the nets -- there is no rule of law
The empty coffins in the mourning process -- no one has the right to see
The empty steamer on the potting board -- no one is in the right mind
Empty Steamer on the pot -- compete (steam)
Shoulder on the oven -- annoyed (brain) fire
The needle on the thread board -- hold back (don't)
Orchard in spring -- reasonable (peach and plum)
Spring and autumn looking at the field -- specialize in looking for the difference (fork)
Glass bodhisattva -- understand (God)
Zhao Kuangyin sells buns -- the imperial chariot (steam)
Zhao Kuangyin's nosebleed -- is (朕) in the red
Gouged out the eyes of the Judge -- blind tube (ghosts)
City God's temple drums -- ghosts look at (knocking)
City God's horse -- not see the odd (riding)
City God's houdou -- ghosts noisy (frying)
City God wears filial piety -- white run (gowns)
City God wearing mourning -- white run (gowns)
City God's horse -- not seen the odd (riding)
City God's houdou -- ghosts noise (frying) <
Glycyrrhiza glabra in the drugstore -- one of the indispensable ones
Opening a drawer in the drugstore -- looking for a game (pills)
Fire in the tea store -- sure enough (burning)
Beckoning in the teahouse -- hu (kettle) to come
Grass handles as lamps -- carelessness (wick)
Turning over the bubbles in the grass mud pond -- laughter (fermentation)
Grass hats as gongs -- wanting (ringing)
Straw hat
Buckwheat hulls for batter -- no sticking
The sole of a shoe on a thorn tree -- pulling the skin
Bringing a toilet to sit in the lobby -- spoiled goods
The tree is small and has little shade
The tree is down -- no shade
The tree has fallen -- no shade
The tree is down -- no shade
The tree has fallen -- no shade
The tree has fallen -- no shade
The tree is down -- no shade
Below the salted meat soup -- no need to say (salt)
Eating too much salted salt -- despite the idle (salty) business
Burning tofu with salted vegetables -- there is something to be said (salt)
Boiling tofu with salted vegetables -- there is no need to say (salt)
Poaching salted vegetables in soy sauce -- it's too severe (salt)
The monk worshiping confession with a crooked head -- it's not right (neck)
<Noodles light the lamp -- commit (rice) not
A governor with a heavy accent went to the village to make a report: rabbits, shrimps, pig tails! Don't want pickles, pickles are too expensive! Translation: Comrades, villagers, pay attention! Don't talk, we're in session! After the governor's speech, the host says: Pickles please, sausage and pickles! TRANSLATION: Now the mayor will speak! The township chief says: Rabbits, today's meal dog ate, everyone is a big wangbang! Translation: Comrades, today's meal is enough to eat, everyone is a big bowl bar! Don't sauce the melon, I'll pick up a shit for you to lick． My friend, always eager to practice his Chinese, said, "How much does it cost to sleep?
The lady was so embarrassed and angry, I quickly explained that he was asking how much the dumplings cost.
.....
The dumplings were served and I asked him if he wanted mustard.
He called the lady again and asked if she had a program.
The lady quickly said, "Yes, what kind of program would you like? "
"It's just the yellow stuff..."
1. Q: What chicken is fast in the world? What chicken is slow?
A: Kentucky Chicken Nuggets (fast)
Nicole Kidman (slow)
2. Q:What animal is most likely to be plastered on a wall?
A: Seal
3. Book11
4. A man was painted gold, and it was a shocker
5. Jade told Ming that her father was sexually impotent, and that she couldn't stop (Jade's father couldn't)
6. Which song has "Coco Lee" in the lyrics? The moon represents my heart (
Coco Lee how deep I love you ....)
8. What color is the best parody? -- Red (mill) parody
9.2 Which country's soldiers stand in the closest formation, China, Japan or the United States?
Answer:Japan ...... Japan has a singer called Hamasaki Ayumu (Bing Qi Bu)~~~
10. sheep call the eagle, the eagle picks up the phone and says Hey 阳奉阴违(羊phone eagle 喂
11. there are ten sheep, nine squatting in the sheep pen, one squatting in the pigsty Iambic pentameter (a sheep squatting wrong
12. celery walking, suddenly feel a pain in the stomach, and then he "What do you think came out of his mouth? That is the celery dung (diligence)! What color is celery dung?
Answer:Yellow
Because : Qin Shi Huang (celery shit yellow)
13. Which Chinese character is the coolest?
Answer: thong (cool).
1. The soldier asked the company commander: what should I do if I step on a mine in combat? The company commander was greatly annoyed: Damn, what can be done? The company's main goal is to provide the best possible service to the public.
2. Woman: "As long as there is money, I can marry anyone." Male: "The bank's safe you marry?"
3. Patient: "Doctor, you left the scissors in my stomach." "It's okay, I have another pair."
4. There are two counterfeiting bills accidentally made the face value of 15 yuan of fake bills, the two decided to take to the remote mountainous areas to spend, when they took a 15 yuan to buy a 1 yuan sugar gourd good, they cried, the farmer found them two 7 yuan.
5. The minimum standard for a college student; peasant woman, mountain spring, a little field
7. I said you are a pig, you said: I am a pig is strange. I've been calling you "pig" ever since! Finally, one day, you couldn't help but yell to the crowd: I'm not a pig!
8. Judge: Why do you want to print counterfeit money? The defendant said innocently: Because I don't know how to print real money.
9. Thief A: "Quickly count how much money a **** robbed today?" Thief B: "No need, tomorrow look at the newspaper will know."
10.The sun was really good last night.
11.One day, a rich man wanted to buy a car, but for the car dealership did not have an auspicious license plate number is hesitant. The owner of the car dealership came over and said with a smile, "This license plate is good 00544 (move me to try), to ensure that no one dares to mess with it, not bad, right"!
The tycoon was moved to buy the car immediately, but the next day there was a car accident, the tycoon angry walk out of the car, thinking that this car you dare to hit, but get off the car to look at the immediate gray slinking away, the original license plate of the other side is 44944 (try to try).
12. Mr. and Miss Fortune Teller dialogue: "Your life is not good." " Why?" " Because you carry bad omens. "
"Then I take off the bra okay?" " No, once you take off the evil omen, you will have the two big waves of your life.
Ears here
The newly appointed governor was from Shandong, and because he had to hang the tent, he said to the master of the division, "Go buy me
two bamboo poles."
The master of the Shandong accent "bamboo poles" into "pig liver", and hastily promised to run
to the butcher's store, said to the shopkeeper: "The new master of the county want to buy two pig liver, you are the a man of understanding,
you should know in your heart!"
The shopkeeper was a wise man, and understood at once, and immediately cut two pig's livers, and offered
a pair of pig's ears.
After leaving the butcher's store, the master thought to himself, "The master told me to buy pig livers, and of course these pig ears
are mine ......", so he wrapped the hunting ears and stuffed them into his pocket. Returning to the county government office, he reported to the governor
: "Reporting to the master, the pig's liver has been bought!"
The magistrate, seeing that Master Shifu had bought back the pig's liver, became angry and said, "Where have your ears gone!"
Shifu heard, scared face, panicked and replied:
"The ear ...... ear ...... here ...... in my ...... my pocket!"
See the chicken and make
Once upon a time there was a landowner, very much love chicken, tenants renting his family's fields, the light to pay the rent can not be,
also have to send a chicken to him first.
There was a tenant named Zhang San who went to the landlord at the end of the year to pay the rent and to share the fields for the next year.
When he went there, he put a chicken in a bag, and when he had finished paying the rent, he told the landlord about the second year's sharecropping
The landlord, seeing that he had nothing in his hand, turned his eyes toward heaven and earth, and said, "This field is not to be used by Zhang San."
Zhang San understood the meaning of this statement and immediately took the chicken out of the bag. When the landlord saw
the chicken, he immediately changed his mind and said, "To whom is it not given to Zhang San?"
Zhang San said, "Your words have become so fast!"
The landowner replied, "The words just now were 'nonsense (chicken) talk', and the words at this moment are 'made on the sight of
the machine (chicken)'."
There is an "opportunity" to take advantage of
A merchandiser went to Guangzhou on a business trip, and when he arrived in Beijing, because he wanted to take a plane
to Beijing, for fear that his manager would not agree to reimburse him, he sent a telegram to his manager: "There is an opportunity to take advantage of it, to take advantage of it
or not? " When the manager received the telegram, he thought that the "opportunity" to close the deal had arrived, so he immediately replied, "If you can take advantage of it,
take advantage of it."
The salesman returned from a business trip to reimburse travel expenses, the manager to not enough level, take the plane
The rules of the plane will not be reimbursed provisions, do not agree to reimbursement of airfare. The salesman took out the manager's return
telephone call, and the manager was dumbfounded.
The name of the place is related to
On New Year's Day evening, my younger brother brought two expatriate students to his home for dinner, one of whom was cheerful and the other more
restrained.
During the meal, the cheerful student introduced us to the restrained one by smiling and pointing to him, saying, "He's from
Myanmar, so he's more shy." He then raised his glass in a toast, tilted his head and drank it
in one gulp, and went on to say, "I'm from Rangoon."
Principal's Fury
The principal, at the end-of-semester school board meeting, was
thunderstruck at the inefficiency of personnel administration. He said, "Those in charge of board business are unintelligent; those in charge of personnel administration are unconscious; and
those who are officers are not!"
After the governor finished his speech, the host said, "Pickles please, sausage and pickles!"
(Interpreter: The township governor will now speak!)
The township chief said, "Rabbits, today's meal dogs eat, everyone's a big wangbang!"
(Translation: Comrades, there's enough rice for today, everyone is a big bowl!)
No soy sauce melon, I pick up a dog poop for you to lick....
(Translation: don't talk, I'll tell you a story...)
A governor with a heavy accent went to the village to make a report: "Rabbits, shrimps, pig tails! No pickles, pickles are too expensive!!!"
(Translation: comrades, villagers, pay attention! Don't talk, we're having a meeting now!!!)
The coach said, "Class 1 kills the chickens, Class 2 steals the eggs, and I'll make you thin rice."
(Translation: Class 1 shoots, Class 2 throws bombs, I'll show you how it's done.)
Responders: pissed off little Q - Magic Apprentice Level 1 11-18 16:25
The complete list of harmonic jokes. It's inside the reference.
Can't post too many here. You might as well go to the top of my site.
Responders: Harmonized word jokes - trial period Grade 1 11-21 23:46
Woody Lau took Zhang Huimei to drink water in the Chow Sing Pool, and suddenly blew a Xie Tingfeng , out of the water out of a Wu Qilong, Wu Qilong holding Zheng Yi Jian, riding Wong Ka Kui, snatched Zhang Huimei; Andy Lau holding Zhou Huajian, stepped on the Wen Zhaolun, over Zhao Benshan, through Guan Zhilin, jumped over the Pan Changjiang , snatched back Zhang Huimei, back to Aaron Kwok, but also hung up a side in the city