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Freshman year: found that there is a worm, the whole bowl of rice is poured; sophomore year: pick out the worm and continue to eat; junior year: as there is no worm eaten together; senior year: found that there is no worm, protesting, how can I eat without a worm to eat rice!
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Wife goes out to collect a debt, but returns empty-handed after a few months.
The husband gets angry and says, "You're incompetent!"
The wife said defiantly, "I didn't ask for the money, but I brought the boss's kids back!"
The husband was delighted and asked, "Where is the man?"
The wife patted her stomach and said, "Don't worry, it's locked up in here!"
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One afternoon a month before high school graduation, the always-quiet schoolgirl of our class uncharacteristically stood on the podium facing us and said loudly to us: Love is not thought out! Love is something you do! ~` The class first fell down, and then applauded ...... I will never forget this scene! `
In the beginning there was a mm's absolute scolding: your dad in the first place how did not shoot you to the wall ah!!!!
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The Tang Monk teacher and disciple four people again to the West to get the scriptures, the Tang Monk wants to take a shortcut, so he asked Wukong, Wukong replied: "I heard that the airplane is much faster than the white dragon horse. " The Eight Preceptors suggested, "Master, I heard that the Shen Six is even faster." At this point, Sand Monk pulls out four tickets for a moving train, points to the Tang Monk, and says, "Master, I heard that riding on this thing will send you to the West right away!"
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A woman could not get married because of her small breasts, and said to the man on a blind date one day, "I have small breasts, do you mind?" The man said: "Have buns big?" The woman said there! The night of the cave, the man rushed out of the cave, kneeling on the ground and looking up to the sky long call: "Oh my God, Wanted small steamed buns!"
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A man's lower body discomfort, Western medicine diagnosis must be removed, the man can not bear to lose the baby, turn to Chinese medicine.
The traditional Chinese medicine doctor looked and smelled some, prescribed a pair of Chinese medicine.
The man was overjoyed. He said, "Chinese medicine is still good, and I can't believe I don't need to have it removed!
The Chinese medicine practitioner calmly replied: It will fall off automatically after two days!
African black girl traveling to Shanghai, stayed in a hotel. There was a fire in the middle of the night. The African woman flew to the outside. A firefighter saw surprised: my mother alas, are burnt and still run so fast!!!!
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A suicide told in his suicide note the reason for his suicide, which sounds really headache. The suicide note reads:
I was married to a widow who had an adult daughter, and my father married the daughter my wife brought over. So my father became my son-in-law, and my daughter became my stepmother, and I called my father father father, and my father called me father; and my daughter called me father, but I called her mother; and I had to call my wife grandma, for she was the mother of my stepmother. Soon my daughter, my stepmother, gave birth to a son, who was my half-brother, and he also had to call me grandma, for he was also my grandson.
Then my wife, my maternal grandmother, gave birth to a son, who was my stepmother's brother, and I was his nephew, so my son called me father, and I called my son uncle.
Also I am my wife's, my maternal grandmother's, grandson and also my maternal grandmother's husband, so I am also my maternal grandfather. And because my wife is my maternal grandmother, my son, that is, my uncle is my brother and my daughter's brother, so I ...... my gosh, such a complicated relationship is really let me hurt my brain, I only one death to be able to get rid of.
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Husband likes to hide in the house so that I can find him, but the house is too small, every time I find him very easily. Once before going to bed he went to turn off the lights (the light switch is a certain distance from the bed), turned off and then saw him quickly squatting on the ground, although I can see clearly, (night vision eyesight is very good oh), but muffled. Just see him squatting for a while, and creeping to the bed side to crawl over, I hold back not to laugh, and so he carefully and laboriously climbed to the bed side, poking his head out, I pounced on him, scared him! Haha, laughing maniacally!
In my husband's eyes, I am a famous myopic eyes; low IQ. but sometimes, he will be my pawn. The day before yesterday on the street, in a lively shopping mall in front of the two of us separated, but I turned back to find him, see him being nervous to the back of the Zhang
look. I went to his back, shouting his name, he turned back violently, I pretended not to see him, or shouting, but also made a very scared, very anxious look, he happily smiled and embraced me, said, "Aiya, stupid!" Oops, sweet death!
Another one comes to mind: last night after dinner and my husband walked in the yard, and suddenly saw a cockroach on the road, I yelled, "Husband, step on it, step on it, step on it!" and then reached out to step on it. Then I stretched out my foot to step on it, and my husband said, "Oops, it's a cockroach, let it go." It makes me feel like I'm being cruel and uncaring.
My husband took the shuttle bus home, the road was jammed, sent me a text message to let me detour home. I texted him back and said, "You'll sleep in the car if you're stuck in traffic. He replied: No! If you dream of you how scary!
One day I saw the sports competition on TV, the Chinese team and lost I vowed: "I want my children to practice sports for the country in the future! Hubby looked at the book looked up at me and said: "Then let him practice weightlifting, see his mother so he can do!" Woohoo ......
The other day with my husband to discuss that everyone will discuss the silly topic of "the next life as a man or a woman", I thought for half a day and said, "I want to be a man in my next life, so that you do women to serve me!" Hubby twisted his face and looked at me and said, "In your last life, you said the same thing."......
Yesterday, my husband and I played rats at home, and my husband was very brave, and stepped on the dead rats. I praised him for his bravery, but he said sadly, "Hey, I remembered when I was a child watching "Shukaku and Beta", the heart is so hard ah!
偶 偶first time to the husband to cook, their craft is really not fine, do out of the dish color and flavor are not involved, the husband is so lovely to bury his head in the bitter to eat, while comforting the even that wife is okay, give me enough to feed on it, I do not ask to run a well-off