There is a saying that goes like this: Raise children to provide for old age.

In traditional Chinese culture, it is advocated that children should be nurtured by their parents until they grow up, and then the children should be taken care of by their parents until they die.

However, the situation of each individual family is so complex that there are always some special examples.

Children are as pure as a blank slate, and they grow up under the influence and molding of their parents and social environment.

A very small number of children not only have a cold relationship with their parents when they grow up, but they are also unfilial.

Why is this?

Professor Li Meijin, a well-known educator in my country and a researcher on adolescent issues, pointed out that unfilial children may be caused by unintentional reasons on the part of the mother.

Xiaoli herself is married, but she is very alienated from her mother.

Even when her grandmother came to see her granddaughter, Xiaoli was extremely indifferent to her mother, and even better to her mother-in-law.

This makes people very confused, why are their biological parents so neglected?

1. Parents dote on children. The more they dote on children and the more unreasonable love their parents give them, the less they will love their parents.

I have become accustomed to stretching out my hands from clothes and opening my mouth to eat, and I think this is what I deserve.

The more children grow up in a pampered environment, the less they will consider other people's feelings and respect other people's preferences. Instead, they will be too self-centered.

Always put yourself at the center and think about yourself in everything.

For example, I want to keep money and food for myself and don’t want to share it with others.

Similarly, if you only want to enjoy the love given by your parents but do not want to repay your parents, you will naturally be unfilial.

The more pampering and pampering, the less filial the children will be to their parents.

A mother who is too kind, loves her children, and is unwilling to let her children suffer will instead let her children drown in this loving mother's heart.

2. Children lack a sense of happiness. Under the cultivation of their parents, children have enough food, clothing, housing and transportation, but their spiritual soil is very poor.

Not getting enough love and care from the original family, or the love given by parents is not what the child needs, so the child's personality growth and the ability to love personality and be loved are not developed so well.

In this way, when children grow up and become independent, they would rather want to escape from their parents and family of origin than stay close to them, or even stay away from them.

If a child has no sense of happiness, or the happiness given by his parents is not enough, the child will not be filial.

Many mothers always nag and stress their children excessively when they see them, which can actually make the children very uncomfortable.

3. Avoiding responsibility. When many children make mistakes, parents always make excuses for their children.

For example, if a child breaks someone else's things, and the parents deal with it unfairly, they favor their own child, causing the child to become a person who cannot take responsibility.

For example, some mothers always blame other children when their children have conflicts with other children.

Favor your children and ignore their children's mistakes.

In this way, children will not take responsibility from an early age, nor will they feel sorry for their parents' difficulties, and will be filial to their parents.

1. Mothers who are extremely controlling and suffocate their children. These mothers often have unsatisfactory lives, so they hope that their children will live a satisfactory life in the future, so they force their children to complete various goals of their own.

Once the child cannot do it, he loses control of his emotions and brings all his negative emotions to the child.

In particular, children's freedom is always restricted, children are not allowed to go out to play, and children are always allowed to study at home.

In this way, after the child becomes independent, he will only be more eager to leave his mother.

2. Mothers who always embarrass their children. These mothers often have low emotional intelligence. They always tell their children that their family is poor, embarrass their children in front of their friends, damage their children's self-esteem, and disrespect their children.

If you don’t respect your children now, they will not be filial to their parents in the future.

1. Grasp the scale. Don’t be too strict, and don’t be too lax.

The management of conduct should be strict, but there should not be too many restrictions on children.

Especially when the child is relatively talented and has good grades, don't push too hard.

Have a proper sense of proportion and treat your children best.

2. Respect children, understand their children’s self-esteem needs, and take care of their children’s self-esteem.

If parents offend their children's self-esteem since childhood, the children will become accustomed to being offended and will not know how to protect their self-esteem in the future.

If you want your children to be self-reliant and capable of protecting themselves, parents must also protect their children's self-esteem from an early age.