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"Marriage in Song Dynasty" Song people are afraid of their wives Shen Kuo: I am afraid of my wife.
Ancient society was a patriarchal society. However, in the turbulent patriarchal world, there is also a clean stream, that is, the social phenomenon of "being afraid of his wife". Fear of his wife, to put it mildly, is called "fear of his wife". There are always some men who are afraid of their wives in every era, but there seem to be many men who are afraid of their wives in the Song Dynasty. In the magnificent history of China's "wife-fearing", people in Song Dynasty contributed at least three famous allusions.

The first story is called The Lion Roar, which I believe many friends have heard and seen. This "Hedong Lion" actually refers to his wife Liu, who is friends with Su Dongpo. They call themselves "Mr. Long Qiu". Chen Jichang is hospitable, loves art, enjoys life, and is also a henpecked patient.

Whenever there are guests at home, Chen Jichang always entertains them with wine, and asks several female wenqing, artists and fans to accompany him. During the dinner, the guest and the host talked happily.

Female Wen Qing: "Shiro, I heard that you are very good at keeping in good health. Can you tell me how we girls should keep healthy? "

Chen Jichang: "When it comes to keeping in good health, my friend Su Dongpo is an expert. Unfortunately, he is not here today. "

Guest 1: "Brother Ji Chang learned sword when he was a teenager. Why is he obsessed with health preservation now?"

Guest 2: "You can't beat your wife."

Liu (teacher): "! What are you talking about? "

Chen Jichang: "My leader called me. I'm going in. Excuse me. "

Chen Jichang: "What can I do for you, madam?"

Liu (teacher): "How did you promise me last time? You said you would invite your friend to drink in the future, and you would never call her Wen Qing again. Why did you call her again today? I give you two choices: first, go out and ask them out. Second, I went out to drive them away. "

Chen Jichang was afraid of his wife, who lost his temper, so he bowed his head and was scolded like a child who had done something wrong, and then asked the servant to send the young woman away. Su Dongpo, a good friend, deliberately teased him and wrote a poem for him: "The monk in Longqiu is also poor, saying that he has no night sleep." Suddenly I heard lion roars, and my cane fell into my palm. "This poem has contributed an idiom to the Chinese world: the lion's roar.

Once, Liu and her husband were angry and sick. Another good friend, Huang Tingjian, wrote him a letter and asked him: I learned that my sister-in-law is a little ill. I wonder if she has recovered now? Brother Chen wants to live a quiet life in his later years. He no longer organizes dinners or invites female Wen Qing to drink. What does his wife have to worry about? Why are you still angry and sick?

Chen Jichang said in distress situation. Anyway, Chen Jichang's fear of his wife has spread among his friends. It is not only spread among friends, but also recorded in history, and the history of history has remained famous for generations. Later generations will always use "Hedong lion" to describe a tough wife; When it comes to men who are afraid of their wives, they will also call them "seasonal fetishes"

The second story of being afraid of his wife in the Song Dynasty is The Rouge Tiger. It is said that Zhu, the wife of Linglu in Weishi County, is a very strict person. Lu obeyed her orders and even his wife's decision in the county administration, so the local people nicknamed Mrs. Lu "Rouge Tiger". When locals say rouge tiger, they mean the wife of their local official.

In addition to the two allusions of "the lion's roar" and "the rouge tiger", there is another one that is not often heard, and it is called "mending the deficiency and getting the truth". This allusion also comes from the Song Dynasty.

"Bridge lamp" means the spare lamp holder. What does it have to do with men being afraid of their wives? It turns out that in the Song Dynasty, there was a man named Li Dazhuang. The name sounds "big" and "strong", which is very heroic. However, Li Dazhuang is not worthy of the name. He often lacks courage because he is afraid of his wife. Whenever he makes his wife angry, her wife always shouts to him, "Sit down!" "

Every time Li Dazhuang obediently sat down and straightened up. As usual, Li Furen put a bowl on his head, lit the lamp, and said, "If you put this lamp out, kneel down and rub the washboard instead, and kneel down for durian." Li Dazhuang can only "hold her breath, like a dead wooden doll" and dare not move, for fear that the lamp bowl above her head will fall.

Everyone jokingly called him "the lamp to fill the gap." Slowly, "fill the lamp" has become a special adjective for being afraid of his wife.

Of course, there were more than these men who were afraid of their wives in the Song Dynasty. There are quite a few household names to say.

Ouyang Xiu, a well-known great writer in the Song Dynasty and one of the "Eight Masters in the Tang and Song Dynasties", was also a hen-pecked wife.

On one occasion, Ouyang Xiu promised to write an epitaph for Wang Dan, a wise man in the Song Dynasty. Wang Dan's son was very grateful, so he sent ten pairs of golden wine lamps and two golden flagons to express his gratitude to Ouyang Xiu. Ouyang Xiu refused, but dared not accept it, saying, "This gift is too expensive. Besides, no maid in my family knows how to play with these golden wine vessels. " Who knows Wang Zhongyi actually picked two maids to give to Ouyang Xiu. Ouyang xiu had to accept the wine container and send the maid back, because Mrs. Ouyang kept it strictly, and he was not allowed to get close to the beauty.

If you ask me, on the one hand, you can see that Ouyang Xiu was single-minded to his wife, on the other hand, you can see that in the Song Dynasty, it was very demanding to write epitaphs and ask experts.

Ouyang Xiu is a great writer, so the power of the ruling and opposition parties is not afraid of his wife, is it?

Not exactly. Song Zhenzong has a power phase called Wang Qinruo. This Wang Qinruo is in power. Many people are afraid of him, but he is afraid of his wife. Madam said one, but Wang Xianggong dared not say two; Lady said west, Wang Xianggong dare not say east; Madam said not to take concubinage, and Wang Xianggong never took concubinage.

On one occasion, Wang Qinruo built a study in the backyard and named it "Sanweitang". The name of "three fears" comes from a sentence in the Analects of Confucius: "A gentleman has three fears: fear of fate, fear of adults and fear of the words of saints." It should be said that the name "Sanweitang" is very learned. However, Wang Qinruo's colleague, an academician named Yang Yi, said to him, "Wang Xianggong, you didn't choose the name of this hall, so you should call it' Thinking of Tang Wei'." Wang Qinruo said inexplicably, "Four fears? Which four are afraid? " Yang Yi said, "I'm afraid of destiny, adults, saints' words and wives. Four fears. "This is making fun of Wang Qinruo's fear of his wife.

All right. Both the representative writers and Quan Xiang in Song Dynasty were afraid of their wives. What about scientists?

Shen Kuo, a famous scientist in Song Dynasty, has a 1 1 century's cleverest head around his neck. He knows astronomy, geography and physical chemistry like the back of his hand, but Shen Kuo is also famous for his henpecked wife. His second wife, surnamed Zhang, is definitely a strong presence in this family. She specializes in all kinds of discontent and often hits Shen Kuo. Shen Kuo only dared to dodge and never dared to fight back. Several times, his beard was torn off by his arrogant wife, and his blood flowed. The children were frightened when they saw it, and cried and begged their mother, "Mom, please give dad a break."

And Shen Kuo? Although he is often abused by his wife, he has deep feelings for her. Later, Zhang died of illness, and all his friends were happy for Shen Kuo, thinking that he was finally relieved, but Shen Kuo himself was always in a trance and missed his dead wife very much. One day, he crossed the Yangtze River by boat and tried to drown himself. Fortunately, he was caught by others in time. However, it was not long before he died of depression and left with his wife.

In fact, we can list a long list of men who were afraid of their wives in Song Dynasty: besides Wang Qinruo, Ouyang Xiu and Chen Jichang, there are also Yan Shu, Qin Gui, Zhou Bida and Lu You. , are famous for being afraid of his wife.

In the Song Dynasty, men's fear of their wives was not a case, but a common phenomenon. Why do you say that? Because Ceng Gong, another Song poet who was listed as one of the "Eight Masters in Tang and Song Dynasties", once complained: In the past, women obeyed, took care of their husbands and taught their children, and observed three virtues; However, since modern times-Ceng Gong said modern times, that is, the Song Dynasty, since the Song Dynasty, this atmosphere seems to have changed. Girls are keen on dressing themselves up, wearing expensive jewelry, marrying people and riding on their husbands' heads to rule their power. Ceng Gong used eight words to spit out this social phenomenon: "Men are superior to women." Ceng Gong doesn't like this phenomenon very much.

If you ask me, it's not important for a husband to serve his wife. I think many good men are afraid of their wives now, and "being afraid of their wives" has become the embodiment of a man's education. However, there is another saying that a scholar in the Ming Dynasty said that a scholar-bureaucrat cherished his reputation and was afraid of his wife because he didn't want to lose the bad reputation of family discord and tarnish his image. This passage can also be used to explain the wife-fearing phenomenon in Song Dynasty.

"Men are superior to women and husbands are subordinate to women" has become a phenomenon in the Song Dynasty, which also shows from another side that the social status of women in the Song Dynasty is not as condescending as people think.

The big lady in the Song Dynasty can not only order takeout, but also ask the four departments and six bureaus to arrange banquets at home, and she can also have some respect in front of the "xianggong". I kind of want to live in the Song Dynasty.