The first step is to finish the previous step and release your emotions. Emotion is often like a cage. If you are trapped inside, it is difficult for us to see the facts clearly, so we should get out of the cage first (when the center responsible for emotions in the amygdala is active, the function of the frontal lobe responsible for rational thinking will be inhibited). After the emotions are released, our rational thinking can slowly recover and prepare for the next work.

The second step is to put down and block all evaluations and only do what you want to do (as long as it doesn't hurt people illegally). For example, if I want to cry, I can cry as much as I want. Don't think about why I cry, whether it will affect others, whether it will show my weakness, whether crying is right or wrong, and don't care about anything. This is your right. For example, I want to travel alone, go shopping, eat delicious food ... and do what I want. Physically, this step is slowly restoring our dopamine system.

The third step is to leave a blank in your life, especially in your psychological space. Be single for a while, comb yourself and grow yourself. In order to get rid of the pain caused by lovelorn breakup, many people will rush to find "healing drugs" and "painkillers" and rush into the next relationship. In this way, it is not only unfair to anyone, but also misses the opportunity to learn from mistakes.

The fourth step is to face up to your current living conditions. Maybe now you often cry for no reason and can't communicate with others; Maybe you are upside down day and night now, and your life is chaotic; Maybe you are drunk every night now and can't sleep well; Maybe you are thin and humiliated now ... no matter how decadent you are now, please tell yourself that this is you, this is the most vulnerable you, this is the lowest point of you, but it is not your whole. People need support and encouragement when they are most vulnerable, not blame and spit on them. Don't be the first person to bully yourself. On the contrary, we should be kind to ourselves first. Everyone will experience a trough, but they will not stay in the trough all the time.