We can always understand some philosophies of life from those, so what are they? Let’s take a look.

: It’s just that someone is carrying the burden for you

Author: Su Xin

My college classmate S got married right after graduation and became pregnant soon after the marriage. Originally, she wanted to wait until the child turned one year old to go out to work, but her health was so poor that she became ill when she gave birth to the child. Her husband is considerate of her and allows her to take care of the children at home without worrying about making money. He can support the family by himself.

From then on, S focused on being a full-time housewife at home and no longer considered going to work. A few years later, S gave birth to a second child and no longer wanted to work.

With both children in school, S has a lot of leisure time. She often posts photos in her circle of friends of food, travel, her handsome husband and two sons, and her spacious and bright home, which makes us hard-working office workers red-eyed with envy. I occasionally chatted with her and praised her husband for his ability, for being able to support four people by himself, and for living such a smooth life. S always showed disapproval: "As a man, you should earn money to support your family."

S, who was originally weak, has become plump and plump after so many years of recuperation, and looks much younger than his peers. She often posts some texts in her circle of friends, mostly with content such as "The years are quiet and the world is stable." Her name on WeChat is simply "The years are quiet and good". I often work overtime until late at night when checking Moments, and when I look down at her profile picture, I can't help but feel sad - classmates have different fates, and people have different fates. How could the gap between us be so big?

Just after the Spring Festival, the company was going to hold a big business event, and I was responsible for purchasing red wine. I remembered that S’s husband was a wine dealer, so I called her and asked for her husband’s mobile phone number.

The phone was connected, and S’s husband was very excited to hear my explanation of my purpose. He said that he had promoted the red wine he distributes to our boss last year, but the deal was not signed. This time he hoped that I could speak kindly in front of the boss to facilitate this big order.

We made an appointment and asked him to send a few samples for us to choose from. Of course, the final decision to sign the order was still up to the boss.

When S’s husband brought the red wine sample, the boss happened to be having a meeting in the city and asked us to take the red wine and go to a restaurant to eat together after the meeting.

Soon we arrived at the location where the boss was meeting. The boss said he would come out immediately and asked us to wait for him in the car for a while.

S’s husband refused to wait in the car. He said it was rude, so he stood by the car and waited. The weather in February in the north is not much different from winter, and the temperature is still very low. I was afraid of the cold and didn't want to get out of the car, so I sat in the car. In the freezing cold wind, S's husband stood outside in a straight suit. There was only a layer of car window glass between him and me, and I could see clearly with goosebumps on my face due to the cold. With a humble smile, he looked intently in the direction of the door of the conference hall.

After waiting for more than 20 minutes, our boss finally came out. S's husband rushed to greet me and shook hands, and I got out of the car. Our boss shook his hand and was a little surprised: "Why are your hands so cold? Aren't you waiting for me in the car?" S's husband said repeatedly: "It's okay, it's okay. The car is too stuffy, so it's time to get some fresh air."

Let’s go to a restaurant to eat and taste wine.

At the wine table, in order to show sincerity, S’s husband drank one glass after another, which made me terrified. I advised him to drink less. Drinking too much alcohol is not good for your health. He smiled, it was okay, he was used to it and drank like this often. My boss, who is nicely called "General", is actually a salesperson. How can I sell wine if I don't drink?

In the middle of the trip, S's husband asked to go to the bathroom. I saw that his face was very ugly, so I chased after him. Got out. At the door of the bathroom, a pungent smell of alcohol rushed towards me. S's husband was bent over and vomiting in the sink, his expression in pain. When he saw me, he forced a smile and continued to vomit.

I silently retreated to the door to wait for him. Thinking of the happiness S showed, I couldn't help but smile bitterly. She must not have known that her husband's work would be so hard. Behind the glamour, just like him standing in the cold wind waiting for customers in a thin spring coat, it was just support with clenched teeth.

When I was young, I never understood that my happy lifestyle came from the support of my parents. I was fascinated by Xi Murong's poems, a fan of Qiong Yao, and expressed my sorrow for new poems, but I never thought about the hard work and fatigue of my parents.

Before marriage, I didn’t even wash clothes at home, let alone wash dishes. After marriage, I ate and drank at my parents’ place all day long, wiping my mouth after eating and leaving. When young colleagues saw my hands, they all said with envy that my sister's hands, in her thirties, were as soft and white as a baby's. I was proud of myself and thought of myself as naturally beautiful.

I remember that day, my mother couldn’t take off the ring on her finger, so she asked me to help. Touching my mother's hand, it felt so rough and stiff, and my heart tightened. When I looked down, I saw that my fingertips were all cracked. The large cracks were covered with medical tape; the small cracks had their mouths open one by one, as if telling the story of years of hard work.

I am filled with guilt and emotion. My mother's rough hands have done so much for me, but I always thought it was natural.

All living beings suffer, and no one will be favored by fate. If your life is particularly easy and smooth, someone must be shouldering the weight you should bear for you.

The person who carries the burden for you is the person who loves you the most in this world. He or she is always afraid that you will be too tired, so they put the most weight on their shoulders.

If a person treats you well, it is definitely a gift from fate, not a matter of course. Even if it's a couple, even if it's parents.

You have to learn to cherish that person.

: How to judge whether you are on the right path?

Author: Tara Hagan

What is the right path? I think it should be related to interest , related to love, related to happiness, you will not get bored, you will always have the desire to explore, and when you are very professional, you can naturally make a living from it. This is my definition of the right path for myself.

Use your time on things that bring you energy, rather than things that drain your own energy.

I took a course at Harvard Business School called Power and Honor in Turbulent Times, taught by Nancy Cohen. We looked at every type of leadership, from Abraham Lincoln and Winston Churchill, to Mark Zuckerberg and Steve Jobs, to Oprah and U2. Nancy Cohen is a lunatic - she's so brilliant and knowledgeable about so many things. She could recite passages from David Foster Wallace and letters from Abraham Lincoln on a whim, all from memory. She is the most awesome person I have ever met. I had been watching a documentary about Henry Ford recently and was wondering, "Why does this voice sound so familiar?" and then suddenly realized, it was Nancy Cohen's voice!

Towards the end of the semester At that time, a group of us students had lunch with Professor Cohen. After she told us about a PBS show she spearheads, all the articles and books she’s written in ***, and her love of horseback riding, I asked her: How do you decide what to do? Manage your time?

She responded: "I just do things that give me energy. Last week, I was in New York recording for a PBS documentary, and I was so energized that I I missed all the stops and went straight to Penn Station. I thought, 'Well, I should do something else.' After I finished recording for NPR, I was so excited that I lost my keys while walking to pick up the car. Jingle. Writing is such a lonely and exhausting job for me, but when I finish it, I'm so happy that I did it. I just value what gives me energy. things and make sure I do more of them."

You keep choosing the things you care about more

I met another awesome professor at Harvard Business School, Jan Moon, co-teaches a course called Branding and Differentiation. Many of her business insights are included in her book Different. I feel like if I'm plagiarizing other people's ideas, then I should at least put their books on the table.

On the last day of class, all Harvard Business School professors will give a final speech. This is a noble tradition in the school: professors share personal stories and give honest advice on personal and professional success. Professor Moon imparted a lot of knowledge to us, and what I want to say most here is that one of the related things she shared was a story about her son.

One day her son said to her: "You keep telling me to do things that interest me, but what if I'm not interested in anything?" She replied: "What if your life Every choice in life - what job to do, what major to study, which city to settle in - if at every fork in the road of your life you choose what you care about more, choose what excites you and stimulates your curiosity Things... then you'll get to the next crossroads, and you'll choose the option you care more about... You'll keep coming to these crossroads and choose the option you care more about, and then one day, you wake up and realize that you What you are doing is where your *** lies.

Find your best balance.

Find your best balance, that is, what you love, what you are. The intersection of what you are good at and social values. I stole this concept from the "Authentic Leadership Development" course and made some crude changes.

The best balance is that you enjoy what you do. Whether it is what you are good at or what is recognized by society

Gathering these together

For me, ensuring whether a person is on the right track in life is not a simple list The list is not a touchstone for immediate results, but the result of a series of wise decisions. It is more like a process of colorful experiences accumulated over time, just like Stephen Jobs's graduation speech at Stanford.

“No matter which path you take, if at every decision-making moment—choosing a new job, moving to a new place, starting a new hobby, teaching a course—choosing can Give you more energy, stimulate your curiosity, and the intersection of what you are good at, what you love, and social recognition, then I can imagine you going well on your own life trajectory.

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