What is life like for those who don’t care about rituals?

On the weekend, the sun was shining brightly. On the way home from picking up the children, I went to the flower market and bought myself a bouquet of sunflowers. On the way back holding the flowers, I met an aunt on the 17th floor. She asked me, "Why are you buying this? You can't eat or drink anything, so you might as well buy some food." I smiled and didn't defend myself.

Actually, this is not the first time that my aunt has said this to me. Frugal old people generally like affordable and useful dishes, but do not like luxurious and useless flowers. I understand what my aunt said, but I am determined. Don’t change. Because buying myself a bouquet of flowers every week is one of my most important rituals.

01

What exactly is the ritual?

I still remember the dialogue between the little prince and the fox in "The Little Prince": The little prince asked the fox: "What is the ritual?" The fox said: "It is to make one day different from other days, to make One moment is different than another.”

What a brilliant summary.

A bouquet of flowers is the most wonderful reminder that makes my weekend different from other workdays. With this bouquet of flowers as a boundary, all the troubles and busyness, restlessness and disorder of the workday are far away. Outside the door, all the joy and anticipation, excitement and joy of the weekend are warmly held in my hands. With such a wonderful experience, I will not be reluctant to buy tweed.

In addition to buying flowers, I also like to water the flowers on the balcony. Sometimes I water the flowers with light blue flower watering pots and small pots. Mouth, thin and dense water lines, very gently sprinkled on those flowers. Sometimes it is necessary to loosen the soil. With a small shovel in hand and the most delicate heart, you can easily fluff the soil in the flower pot. If you find a newly grown small green leaf bud or an elegant flower in the flower pot, Beautiful little flowers are even better. Unknowingly, the fatigue and tiredness slowly subside. This is a very important ritual to me. I have a friend Yifan who doesn't pay attention to rituals. In the evening, she posted her dinner: sweet and sour short ribs, mapo tofu, cola chicken wings, mushroom slices, oyster sauce lettuce? The combination of meat and vegetables looks very appetizing, but she The utensils used for serving dishes include plastic pots as gifts from supermarkets, bowls with missing openings, enamel jars, glass bowls, and several plates of different colors and sizes. In a word, everything available at home was used. The food is good, and may have good color and aroma, but the taste of the food is compromised due to the lack of ritual of tasting the food.

In addition to not being particular about the tableware, Yifan also uses local materials when growing flowers. There are various utensils, including foam boxes, teacups, washbasins, and empty oil cans with labels? I once I asked her why not buy a flower pot? She said: "I'm not that particular, I just need to keep them as long as I can. I can raise them wherever I go, so why spend unnecessary money?"

I firmly oppose her concept and pay attention to rituals. , it will not make life embarrassing, her family conditions are also good, and she is not someone who cannot afford flower pots and plates. However, because she does not care about the sense of ritual, she chooses to make do with it and actively reduces her quality of life to the minimum.

02

In addition to life needing a sense of ritual, marriage also needs a sense of ritual.

If you don’t believe it, you can ask the people around you who are disappointed or even desperate about marriage, why they are no longer satisfied with their marriage or their lover. In fact, a large part of the reason is that there is no sense of ritual.

You are already married, and it is not the time to fall in love. Why should you send roses?

Now that you are the parents of your child, you don’t have to do all those tricks. What’s the point of having a candlelight dinner?

We are now a family. We keep the money at home. You can buy whatever you want. Do you still need me to buy it for you?

I’m already too busy with work, so don’t let me waste my energy on picking out gifts and remembering anniversaries, okay?

We are an old married couple, and you are not my lover. Why should you go to the cinema? You can just watch TV at home?

These words sound familiar, right?

Perhaps many couples who don’t care about the sense of ceremony have had such a moment and have said this. They always think that getting married is equivalent to entering the safe of love, and there will never be any changes, so it is not worth it. It's not worth wasting energy on management. It's not worth going to all the trouble to deliver surprises, and it's not worth trying every possible means to be romantic.

Unfortunately, the consequence of being so lazy and effortless is that there will no longer be any ripples in an ordinary life, and there will no longer be any surprises in an ordinary marriage.

Who doesn’t enter marriage with high hopes? Who doesn’t look forward to the coexistence of romance and love? However, life is so stressful, there are so many trivial matters, and the sense of loss caused by a plain marriage may make those who are naturally romantic unable to bear the gap. Many people forget how to love after becoming husband and wife; after becoming parents, they forget how to love. How to be a couple. The ritual sense of marriage is such a wonderful existence that can save us from fire and water. A bouquet of flowers, a cup of tea, a piece of clothing, a kiss? It doesn't waste much energy, but it is an embellishment of marriage. Although it seems useless, it is the most indispensable and important part. It makes us Temporarily escaping from the life of daily necessities, rice, oil and salt, let us relive the sweetness of love again.

These wonderful rituals remind us to cherish the difficulty of entering into marriage and the commitment we made at the beginning of marriage. These wonderful rituals can also resolve the troubles and anxieties in a long and trivial life, reminding us that in Besides the daily necessities of life, besides the daily hustle and bustle of life, there are also poems and distant places.

03

Actually, the rituals of life and marriage are not luxuries. I never think they have to be related to money, and I don’t think they have to be luxury. hook, but it must be related to the heart that loves life and respects marriage. People who have a sense of ritual in life will always give people a fresh feeling. A handful of dogtail grass picked on the way to morning exercise is paired with green leaves and placed in a blue and white porcelain vase, which looks enchanting; a few copper money grass plants are planted in small earthen pots, which is very charming. Staring at the sun, smiling shyly; the napkin on the dining table, folded gently, is in the shape of a calla lily. Although they are small items that are readily available, they are the best decoration for the home, and life is leisurely and elegant. , live your life as you like.

People who have a sense of marriage rituals will always give people the impression of a sweet marriage. During the monthly holidays, your lover is not allowed to touch a little cold water; when you come home from work every day, give your partner a warm hug ; Wake up every morning and give each other a happy smile? Although it is not expensive at all, it is the best interpretation of marriage and reminds us of the most important moments in life and the people we should cherish most in life. We need such a sense of ritual to express care and cherishment, and we need these sense of ritual to have warmth and love.

The ritual is not expensive, but it can bring beautiful moments and pleasant enjoyment to yourself and your family. A person with a sense of ritual will not let her life be careless and perfunctory, nor can she bear to live carelessly. She is good at discovering every bit of happiness in life and decorating it with skillful hands. A person with a sense of ritual will not let his marriage be dull and boring, nor can he bear to let his lover down day after day. He is good at managing every surprise in the marriage and embraces it with sincerity.

Really, please believe me, the sense of ritual is really important and it is definitely worth trying.