Some time ago, I posted a dinner at my house on Moments, which included fish-flavored shredded pork, red pickled peppers and bean paste. The kids mixed the rice and drank half a bowl of it in one go.

A determined smile appeared on my face: "Absolutely! How can a Hunanese not eat spicy food!"

Of course, the fish-flavored shredded pork is Sichuan cuisine. The pepper is really not spicy (for me). My two children, aged 8 and 4, have been eating spicy food for many years.

In the past two years, we were driving in an RV in Australia and couldn't eat well. The two children relied on the milk of Lao Ganma to solve meal after meal. There was also a fight over the last round piece of fragrant black bean.

A small table and chair outside the RV

Cook some cabbage and ham noodles

Serve Lao Gan Ma and milk

Actually first I didn't like spicy food when I was a kid, and I would lose my temper if I got a little bit of it. I can’t eat without chili peppers, so I have to cook several of them for every meal.

When he was 3 years old, I once took him back to Changsha to eat rice noodles at a noodle shop in front of the community. I ordered him a non-spicy fungus pork noodle. When I looked at the big basin where the code was placed, there were some spicy oil stars floating in it. So I asked the boss: "Is there anything that is not spicy at all? For the children."

The boss took a look at Xianxian, waved the spoon in his hand and asked: "He is 3 years old, right? ?"

I nodded in confusion: "Ah, yes."

The boss looked at me with disdain: "You can't eat spicy food even if you are 3 years old! Look at which child can eat it if he is not over 1 year old! You can’t do this! Eat spicy food to keep you healthy!”

He scooped a big spoonful of minced fungus meat and covered it with rice noodles. Then he poured another spoonful of soup on it and pushed it to me without raising his eyes.

Such domineering! It shocked me! Then I silently went to the bun shop next door and bought a cup of soy milk for my baby.

I didn’t expect that eating first was quite exciting. Probably because it tastes so good, I don’t care about the spiciness.

Later, when I returned to Beijing, I also started to eat it, and there was no such thing as the dry climate in the north and the excessive heat caused by eating spicy food that I had worried about before. Although the spiciness is equivalent to none in my opinion.

Then, skills are gradually unlocked from the age of 2. His introduction to gourmet food is kebabs sprinkled with cumin and chili powder.

I can’t find the photos of Houhou having sex

Let’s use Xianxian

Anyway, they look alike

Recall Come on, I was once an old mother who carefully studied nutritional recipes for my children. I looked at the ingredient list and picked out the types of ingredients to calculate the nutritional proportions. In fact, to this day, I still can't accept my baby eating fried food and snacks (mainly because I don't like them...).

But raising children is indeed a process of grasping the big and letting go of the small, and constantly improving. All the abilities of the baby are unlocked by our constant letting go. If a family has the same parenting philosophy, if there is less supervision, the children will naturally learn more.

When Houhou was one and a half years old, I threw him under the shower head and took a bath myself. Put the shampoo somewhere where he can reach it, and the baby can wash and rinse it by himself. I am only responsible for coming out and wrapping him in a bath towel.

Kitchen skills must also be developed. I don’t have much time to take care of them, so I might as well take them with me and spend some family time in the kitchen. But it's not just fun baking, it's serious cooking.

The old mother who can’t spare any time

Cooking together is high-quality parent-child time

Sometimes when my baby comes back from school and is hungry, and I am too busy, I will take him with me first, then I will fry a pancake, wrap some ham and lettuce, squeeze some tomato sauce on it, add some hot sauce, and pour a cup Milk is a meal. Of course, sometimes I just make tomato egg noodles or fried rice. I would even search for recipes online...

The team members were having a meeting at my house

We were so hungry that no one cared about us

So we went to cook by ourselves

p>

Of course, it is my policy not to operate without an adult, and I have told them repeatedly. As for the use of the gas stove, the two children have practiced it countless times, and I have repeatedly warned them about various safety rules and precautions.

I think cooking is a basic skill. No matter what you do in the future, you must have the ability to feed yourself well. Just do housework, and it will be neat and decent. No matter what environment you are in from now on, you must make yourself as comfortable as possible.

Of course, despite what I say, I am actually a fragile old mother with a glass heart.

I was sent to an independent camp for the first time when I was 6 and a half years old. He said before that he didn't want to go, and I backed down countless times, but finally threw him in. When we first entered the camp, he cried outside and I cried inside.

Spending the night alone for the first time

The baby cried

I also cried when I saw the photo

Of course, I felt so happy after that Wrong. After all, there is nothing happier than having a baby with peace of mind, knowing that the baby is safe, can learn, and can eat well and play well.

Being a mother is like that, sometimes she cries and sometimes she laughs. One moment I want to be a filial mother who cares for my baby wholeheartedly, and the other moment I want to be a happy young woman who just wants to eat, drink and have fun by herself.

But no matter what, raising a baby is a process that gradually moves away. When I was young, I was kind to him from the bottom of my heart, just so that we could have a better separation as an adult.

No matter how busy you are every day

Reading with your baby is unbreakable

On the subject of independence, I don’t fully agree.” It will be better when the children grow up". This may be true for some trivial matters in life, but not necessarily for the spirit.

Why are there 30-year-old mama’s boys? Will there be people who chew on the old people? Are there also very angry children who beat and scold their parents at every turn? In fact, they are all manifestations of lack of mental independence.

Even if it’s not that extreme. That may cause other problems. It can be as small as not knowing how to independently plan and implement a free trip, or as big as when encountering problems in work, marriage and life, it is easy to get entangled and passive, and not know how to face and solve them.

Instead of being forced to grow up by life when they become adults, it is better to help them grow from now on and give them the ability to advance and retreat freely.

I have always believed that independence and thinking ability are closely related. This is a life skill and a must for mental strength.

The best state between parents and adult children is: deep love for each other, support, care, but no ties.