Miss c in the people's square blind date corner blind date army
Before the age of 30, Miss C posted only two words on her blind date: "beautiful". Every weekend, her father will help her go to the blind date corner of Shanghai People's Square to find the right person among many umbrellas.
Now, Miss C has just turned 30, and her father's blind date sticker added "having a house and a car" and "living in Pudong". Miss C's attitude towards the blind date has gradually softened, and she is willing to follow her father to meet the blind date.
There are many such blind dates in People's Square.
What factors have become the most important criteria for blind date and mate selection?
Why do some people find partners quickly in the blind date corner, while others persist for several years?
In order to succeed in blind date, why should we deliberately reduce the annual salary?
……
We studied the 1023 dating post in the dating corner of People's Square, and summed up the criteria of 10 and four reasons for being single. Do you agree?
As the most famous blind date shrine in China, the blind date corner of Shanghai People's Square gathers countless people every day with only one purpose: to find someone for their children or themselves.
Someone got married here.
Some people are frustrated here.
Criteria for mate selection of blind date angle
What is this?
Do you know how to write the "standard format" of dating stickers?
Although no one has stipulated the format of the marriage invitation card, most of the "letters of introduction" appearing in the marriage corner follow this format: the first part introduces one's age, education, etc., and the second part states the expectations of the target object.
Age is an unavoidable topic.
Ms. Kong, a folk intermediary in the matchmaking corner, told reporters that the year before last, she felt that it was difficult for girls in 888 to introduce success. "In 993, they were the most popular this year because they were neither too big nor too small." Seeing a girl's parents insist on dating for more than ten years, I feel that it is "more difficult than the war of resistance."
In the 1023 dating posts we collected, the average age of dating partners reached 36.0 years old, accounting for 66.1%"post-80 s" is the absolute main force; The number of women is 2.5 times that of men, and the number of women after 80 s and 90 s reached 3.3 times and 5.8 times respectively.
However, most blind people will mark their age on dating stickers.
Education, career ... Do you have a room?
In addition to age, the blind date post also mentioned the education and occupation of the blind date many times.
Among the 897 people who declared their academic qualifications, more than 80% were undergraduates and masters, and 29 were doctors. More than 20% graduated from "2 1 1" and "985" key universities. The top three universities are Shanghai University of Finance and Economics, Shanghai Jiaotong University and Fudan University, with 52 people from the top 500 overseas universities.
The most frequently mentioned occupation-related words are foreign enterprises, finance/banking, finance/accounting.
Of course, the "hard power" of the blind date is also very important, with 50.3% people explicitly mentioning that they have a house.
Shanghainese? New Shanghainese? Outsiders?
In addition to Shanghai natives (337) accounting for 32.9%, there are also many people from Jiangsu (64), Zhejiang, Liaoning, Shandong and other coastal provinces. Among those who indicate their household registration, the proportion of Shanghai natives, new Shanghainese and foreigners is about 2.0: 1.5: 1.
Men are more likely to find partners? inexistent
For a long time, people have a stereotype about the blind date market: "Men are more likely to find partners". However, Ms. Kong, a folk intermediary, disagrees with this statement. "Some boys with low income and poor conditions have not come for several times and gave up." These single men who "have no right to enter the market" are not in the dating post data, so it is difficult to appear in people's field of vision. At the other end of the polarization, some men with good conditions rarely send marriage invitations.
Small, 1.8m, grew up in Shanghai, graduated from a world-renowned university in new york with a master's degree, and worked in the American financial industry with an annual salary of more than 600,000 RMB. But his career is still on the rise, and he is not in a hurry to find someone.
But his father still put his son's marriage sticker in the marriage corner. After receiving a warm response, he sent dozens of photos of girls to Xiao A. At first, he talked twice online, and then he never replied to his father's "photo bombing".
The blind date angle is like a microcosm of the fierce competition in the battlefield of invisible marriage.
Let's have a look.
Most frequently mentioned by blind date.
Top ten mate selection conditions
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10 mate selection criteria: age, height and occupation. Guess which is the most important?
Many people think that the blind date angle only focuses on the house, but the actual situation is much more complicated. By analyzing the description of the target object in dating posts, we can find that age, personality, height and education are the four most frequently mentioned aspects.
Condition 1: Appearance
Importance: ★★★★★★★
Few people ask each other to look good in dating posts, but in interviews, everyone likes to mention "looks", which is especially obvious for men.
Jun Chen hopes to find a beautiful girl born in the 1990s. "I'm from the Appearance Association. You must be at least 70 or 80 years old. Talk about friends with feelings. " The same is true of Mr. B. His mother said that his son weighs 170 kg and looks average, but the woman can't stand it if she doesn't look good.
The beautiful miss c also wants to find a handsome one, but this is not in the marriage invitation, because her father will check it by looking at the photos. Her father said that "30-year-old men are getting ugly" and "80% don't like it".
Condition 2: Real estate
Importance: ★★★★★★★
In 1023' s dating posts, only 180 people clearly expressed their hope that the other party would have a room. However, the importance of the house is not complete.
Mr. Zhu, a folk intermediary, said: "Basically, parents are not here to engage in objects, but to engage in business. The purpose is too strong. " He thinks that post-80s and post-90s are different. After 90, I mainly look at my personality and have time to get to know someone. The post-80s generation has caught up with the era of great pressure, and now there is no time, we can only look at the conditions.
But this feeling is inconsistent with the data conclusion. Judging from the content of the marriage invitation, the post-80s generation has the least concern for the house. 50. 1% of the post-80s generation has no house, but only 14.3% of the post-80s generation requires the other half to have a house. The "post-90 s" have the highest proportion of their own houses, and the proportion of asking the other party to have a house is also the highest.
Condition 3: marital status
Importance: ★★★★★☆.
Unmarried seems to be taken as the default premise.
It is very difficult to jump between divorce and unmarried. Among the unmarried people who ask for their partner's marital status, 100% ask the other person to be unmarried, and no one explicitly accepts the divorced person. From the perspective of blind date, divorced people are more difficult to match.
Condition 4: Personality quality
Importance: ★★★★★☆.
Unexpectedly, material requirements are not the mainstream of dating posts. Personality quality is the most frequently mentioned requirement of women in dating posts, and men also rank it second.
According to the process of blind date, the matching of blind date positions is only the first step. After that, parents of both sides need to talk and exchange photos before young people can meet and chat. Like-minded personality is the key last step.
Miss D is a typical "new Shanghainese" in the matchmaking corner. She has a high education and a high income. She graduated from key universities with a bachelor's degree and a master's degree, and now she works in a bank. Miss D's mother said that they didn't ask the man to have a house and a master's degree, but "the two should talk together".
Condition 5: Education
Importance: ★★★★★☆.
People with high academic qualifications like Miss D basically have expectations for their academic qualifications.
For those who require academic qualifications, more than 80% require undergraduate education. Most master students and doctoral students can relax their academic qualifications to undergraduates.
However, in-depth analysis shows that degree matching will also be refined in layers, just like further asking about the location of the house.
Some masters require the other party to be a "key undergraduate". Of the 34 women who want to graduate from key universities, 26 are master students and 1 are doctoral students.
Condition 6: Age
Importance: ★★★★★☆☆
In the corner of dating, age is more important to women. The marriage market often judges women from the perspective of fertility, and thinks that the older they are, the lower their fertility is. Take 1983 as an example. No man wants to find a woman of the same age or older, and women can accept men as old as 8 years old.
Older people seem to be more receptive to objects with a larger age span. 53-year-old Shanghai native male, with three suites, looking for a woman who is about 15 younger than himself. And a 50-year-old unmarried woman wants to find a 45-65-year-old man with a house and the ability to be healthy. If she is about 70 years old, she will have "better conditions".
Condition 7: Height
Importance: ★★★★★☆☆
Height is more important to men. Men generally don't have high requirements for women's height, and most people want women to reach 160cm. Women require more height than men by 13.9 percentage points, and women require most height for men by 170cm or 175cm.
Short boys and tall girls face almost the same height matching "trouble"
Condition 8: Salary
Importance: ★★★★☆☆
In the marriage invitation, both men and women don't mention much about their own and each other's wages. However, salary is still an important criterion to measure men.
5 1.9% of men voluntarily mentioned their salary, which was 24.3 percentage points higher than that of women. Moreover, their average comprehensive annual salary is as high as 240,585 yuan, more than 50,000 yuan higher than that of women.
However, several parents told reporters that some high-paid women in the blind date angle deliberately wrote an annual salary of 300,000 as 200,000 in order to avoid appearing unattainable.
Ms. E, with an annual salary of over 6,543,800+0,000, holds a master's degree in studying in France. 37 years old, divorced, childless. Her father said that they think that the man's annual salary is 700,000 to 800,000, and the house and car are not needed. The key is good character. 1023, there are 78 people whose comprehensive annual salary exceeds 300,000, and only 2.6% of them explicitly ask for their annual salary.
Condition 9: Household registration
Importance: ★★★★☆☆
Nearly 30% of the 2 19 people who put forward clear household registration requirements are "unlimited household registration", but nearly 40% are looking for Shanghai locals, and nearly 60% hope that the other party has a Shanghai hukou.
People in every place tend to look for people in the same area. Jun Chen, a Shanghainese, said that if you find a local, both parents can take care of their future children, and their cultures are similar. Non-Shanghai blind date also looks forward to cultural exchange.
Sun's conclusion is: "It is a very important question whether to squeeze toothpaste from above or from below. Because in the future you will enter an intimate relationship. "
Condition 10: prohibited items
Importance: ★★★★★★★
There are a series of "forbidden goods" that are untouchable minefields and will be excluded from the scope of mate selection.
Miss C, because nurses work long hours, it is difficult to take care of their families, and they are criticized by many parents. But she also has a series of "taboos". Her father listed: "Doctors don't want it, accountants don't want it, people who wear glasses don't want it, fat people don't want it, 1.82 meters above, 1.7 meters below ..."
Generally speaking, the criterion of 10 is very important in the angle of blind date, but the evaluation system of men and women is different. Roughly speaking, only marital status, personality quality and education are important to both men and women; Men have higher requirements for house, height and salary, while women pay more attention to appearance, age and household registration.
Even if there are clear criteria for choosing a spouse.
You may not find the right person to marry.
Four reasons for being single
Did you get caught?
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Four reasons for being single: when you are busy, you can't care about love? The same is true for ta.
There are many conditions for choosing a spouse. Can you find the other half in the blind date corner? Of course it's hard.
Sun Dongpei is not surprised by this: "It is a chemical reaction to let two complete strangers enter an intimate relationship; It is a physiological reaction for parents to match each other by exchanging objective information such as house and age. How can you expect a physical process to produce a chemical reaction? "
The stress of work and material neglected or sacrificed the family.
By analyzing the data, we can find that a group of "new Shanghainese" have gathered in the matchmaking corner. They face similar marriage problems: heavy work pressure, simple and relatively narrow private life, and lack of contact with school-age people in Shanghai. Material pressures such as buying a house and busy work make them too busy to take care of marriage.
The mother of Miss D, a new Shanghainese, actually sympathizes with her daughter's hard work. My daughter goes to work during the day, goes home to rest at night, and learns to charge on weekends. She realized that her daughter had no time to fall in love at all. "She must first establish herself in Shanghai and have a bowl of rice to eat." "How can I give her more pressure in this case?"
In the interview, the reporter found that some parents of new Shanghainese know nothing about their children, and it seems that everything is taken care of by the children themselves. This is completely different from the intimate parent-child relationship of local families in Shanghai. Miss D's mother found that many boys who graduated from other places left Shanghai because they could not afford to buy a house. After work, Miss D hardly meets unmarried young men with the same level of knowledge.
Demanding, too picky, or not confident enough.
It is difficult to choose a spouse, which is closely related to personality. Some people are overconfident, demanding too much of others, some people are not confident and active enough, and some people are still stuck in the memory of their past marriage and love.
Mr. Zhu, a folk intermediary, told the story of a couple who met through the blind date corner eating in a restaurant. The boy pulled the tablecloth slightly because it was a little uneven, but he didn't notice that the girl's hand was just pressing on the tablecloth. The girl immediately said it was impolite. The boy didn't pay attention to continue ordering, so the girl broke up with him.
Lack of correct guidance from parents
During the interview with the blind date, more than one parent told reporters that they regretted letting their children concentrate on their studies and were not allowed to fall in love. Nowadays, children no longer take the initiative in love and marriage, but parents are anxious.
In addition, the information of blind date is confusing and it is difficult to match effectively, which is also an important reason why blind date is difficult to succeed.
The first question is, is it necessary to enter marriage?
Sun believes that marriage is only a choice. "I have interviewed many people who feel that they can choose not to marry, marry late, dink or same-sex marriage. Why do they have to follow the so-called mainstream into a unified marriage model? "
Ms. Kong, a civil intermediary, believes that single people may face the problem of providing for the aged. "In the future, can you still count on a nanny?"
If you decide to get married, you will face the problem of how to solve the difficulty of choosing a spouse.
Some parents born after 60 strongly suggest that the government and employers organize more social activities. Parents with limited personal resources seem to try to push personal marriage into the public sphere and expect more help from the collective.
Mr. Zhu, a folk intermediary, found emotional counseling very effective. "First of all, we must dig deep roots, what are the criteria for mate selection, and shape the image. Then comprehensively consider the key obstacles of not finding the object from the perspective of oneself and the other party. Only by solving this obstacle will the success rate be high. "
What if you really can't find the ideal object in the end?
Miss D's mother thinks that she can be single all her life, but "I just hope she can find an ordinary husband and live an ordinary life".
Mr. B's mother is very eager for her son to find the other half: "I must walk in front of you, and there is no one around you." Am I at ease? " I'm worried. "
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