What is the true self? This is not a black-and-white fact. We have never been 100% good people. There is a small hidden disease in everyone's heart, and there are corners that are unknown or not understood. I think it may be a bit too much to describe it as both good and evil. It can't be said that it is a novel of healing, nor can it be said that it is mourning. Maybe my life experience is not enough to completely integrate all the stories, but in the book, I can see a part of myself. I tried to adapt to its style.
"My misfortune is that I have no ability to refuse. I am afraid that once I refuse others, I will leave a crack in each other's hearts that will never heal. " "Because of cowardice, I escape from life, so I don't resist pride in the darkest destruction. Because of pride, I don't choose to live, so I refuse vulgar optimism. " Many times, Osamu Dazai not only appealed to his own feelings, but to some extent, it was more like analyzing human nature.
"If we can avoid intense joy, there will naturally be no sadness." "Cowards are afraid of happiness. When they touch cotton, they get hurt, and sometimes they get hurt by happiness." "I want to live a normal life, but the society is not normal. How can I be normal?" Osamu Dazai's writing is gloomy, just like his life. It is a difficult process to move from a closed self to a broad society, especially when you realize that this society is not quite what you imagined. And this process is also the process of juvenile growth. Everyone has an "eternal teenager" in his heart.
It is true that life is different and the world is cold, but so are warmth, kindness and love.