It was the dead of winter, and as I approached my hometown, the weather was gloomy again, and the cold wind blew into the cabin with a whistling sound, and when I looked out through the canopy, I saw several desolate villages far and near under the yellowish sky, with no vitality at all. I can't help but feel sad. A! This is not the hometown that I have remembered for twenty years?
The hometown I remember is not like this. My hometown is much better. But if I were to remember its beauty, to speak of its goodness, I would have no images, no words. It's as if that's all there is. So I explained to myself that my hometown was just as it was, - though not improved, and not necessarily as sad as I felt - and that it was only a change in my own mood, for I had not been in a good frame of mind when I returned to my hometown this time.
I came this time specifically to bid him farewell.
The old house where we have been living for many years has been sold to another family, and the deadline for handing over the house is only this year, so I have to hurry before the first day of the first month of the new year, to say goodbye to the old house that I know well, and to move away from the hometown that I know well to the place where I'm making a living.
In the morning of the second day, I arrived at the door of my house. The broken stems of the many dead grasses on the corrugated roof were shaking in the wind, illustrating the reason for the inevitable change of ownership of the old house. The original family of several houses had already moved out, so it was very quiet. When I arrived outside my own house, my mother had already welcomed me out, and then out flew my eight-year-old nephew, Hong'er.
My mother was very happy, but also hid a lot of sadness, and taught me to sit down, rest, drink tea, and not talk about the move. Hong'er had not seen me, far across the room stood just watching.
But we finally talked about moving. I said the outer apartment has been rented, and bought a few pieces of furniture, in addition to the need to sell all the woodwork in the house, and then go to add. The mother also said yes, and the luggage has been slightly gathered, wooden inconvenient to carry, but also a small half sold, just can not afford to collect money.
"You rest for a day or two, to visit the relatives of the family once, we can go." Mother said.
"Yes."
"And Leapfrog, he always asks about you when he comes to my house, and would love to see you in person. I have informed him of the approximate date of your arrival home, and he may be on his way."
This time, my mind suddenly flashed a strange picture: the deep blue sky hanging a round golden moon, below is the sandy beach, are planted with endless turquoise watermelon, there is an eleven or twelve year old boy, collar with a silver ring, hand pinch a steel fork, to a Badger (2) to try their best to stab, but the Badger will be twisted, from his crotch to escape.
This boy was Leuntu. When I met him, I was only in my teens, thirty years ago; my father was still alive, and my family was well off, and I was a young master. That year, my family was on the duty of a great sacrifice. It was said that this festival could only be held once every thirty years, so it was very solemn; in the first month of the year, many offerings were made to the ancestors, the sacrificial vessels were very elaborate, and there were a lot of worshippers, and the sacrificial vessels had to be protected from theft. My family has only one busy month (we have three kinds of laborers here: those who work for certain people all year round are called long-time laborers; those who work on a daily basis are called short-time laborers; and those who work on their own farms and come to work for certain people only on New Year's festivals and when they collect rents are called busy months), and they were too busy to do so, so they told their father to ask his son Leuntu to be in charge of the sacrificial vessels.
My father allowed it; and I was glad, for I had heard the name Leuntu, and knew that he was as old as I was, born in a leap month, and lacked earth in his five elements (4), so his father called him Leuntu. He was able to mount [bowking] to catch small birds and finches.
I then looked forward to the New Year every day, and when the New Year came, so did Leonto. One day, at the end of the year, my mother told me that Leonto had come, so I ran to see him. He was in the kitchen, with a purple round face, a small felt hat on his head, and a bright silver collar around his neck, which showed that his father loved him very much, and was afraid that he would die, so he made a wish in front of God and Buddha, and put him in a circle. He was very shy when he saw people, but he was not afraid of me, and when there were no bystanders, he talked to me, so in less than half a day, we became acquainted.
We didn't know what we talked about at that time, but only remembered that Leap was very happy, and said that after going to the city, he had seen many things that he had not seen before.
The next day, I asked him to catch birds.
He said:
"This can't be done. It must be snowy. We sand, snow, I swept out a clearing, with a short stick to support a large bamboo plaque, sprinkle grain, to see the birds to eat, I am far away from the rope tied to the stick just a pull, the birds will be covered in the bamboo plaque. There was everything: paddyfowl, horned grouse, widgeon, blue-backed ......"
I was then looking forward to the snow again.
The leap frog said to me again:
"It's too cold now for you to come to us in the summer. We go to the beach in the day to pick up shells to go, red and green, ghosts see fear also, Guanyin hand (5) also have. In the evening I and father tube watermelon to go, you also go."
"Pipe thieves?"
"No. We don't count stealing here when a walker is thirsty and picks a melon to eat. It's badgers, pigs, hedgehogs, and Badgers that matter. Under the moon, you listen, la la sound, Badger is biting the melon. Then you pinch the fork and walk gently ......"
I didn't know then what this so-called Badger was - and I still don't - but I just thought it looked like a badger, a hedgehog, and a badger. -I just thought it was fierce like a puppy for no reason.
"Doesn't he bite?"
"He has a fork. When you come to it and see Badger, you stab it. This animal is very clever, but to you to run, but from the crotch to escape. His fur is slippery like oil ......"
I did not know that there are so many new things in the world: there are such colorful shells on the seashore; the watermelon has had such a dangerous experience, and I only knew that he had sold it in the fruit electricity before.
"In our sand, when the tide is coming in, there are many jumping fish just jumping, all with frog-like two feet ......"
A! Leapfrog's heart has endless hickeys, all unknown to my usual friends. They don't know something that when Leapfrog was at the beach, they all saw only the sky in the four corners of the yard on the high wall, just as I did.
Unfortunately, when the first month passed and Leapfrog had to go back home, I cried out in anxiety, and he hid in the kitchen, crying and refusing to go out, but finally his father took him away. He also later asked his father to bring me a bag of shells and a few very nice bird feathers, and I gave him something once or twice, but have not seen him again.
Now that my mother mentioned him, my memories of this time suddenly all came back to me like lightning, and I seemed to see my beautiful hometown. I answered:
"That is very good! He, - how? ......"
"He? ...... He's not doing well ......" said my mother, and looked out of the room, "These people are here again. They say they're buying woodwork, and they're just taking whatever they can in passing, so I'll have to go and see."
Mother stood up and went out. There were a few women's voices outside the door. I then beckoned Hong'er to come nearer before me, and made small talk with him: asking him if he could write, and if he would like to go out.
"Are we going by train?"
"We're going by train."
"What about a boat?"
"Boat first. ......"
"Ha! This molded up! A beard this long!" A sharp, strange voice suddenly yelled.
I was taken aback, and hastily raised my head, but I saw a convex-cheekboned, thin-lipped woman in her early fifties standing in front of me, with both hands between her thighs, no skirt tied, and her feet spread out, just like a thin-footed, elongated circular gauge in a drawing instrument.
I was stunned.
"Don't you recognize me? I even hugged you!"
I was even more stunned. Fortunately, my mother came in and said,
"He's been away for years, and he's forgotten all about it. You should remember," and then said to me, "This is the diagonal door across the Yang Er Sister-in-law,...... open tofu store."
Oh, I remember. When I was a child, in the tofu store across the street from the door did sit a Yang Ersao, people called Yi "tofu Shi Shi" (6). But she wore white powder, her cheekbones weren't so high, her lips weren't so thin, and she sat all day long, and I'd never seen her in such a circular posture. At that time people said: Because of Yi, this tofu store does very good business. But it was because of my age, but I had not been sensitized in the slightest, so I had completely forgotten it. However, the compass is very uneven, show contempt, as if laughing at the French do not know Napoleon (7), Americans do not know Washington (8) like, sneered and said:
"Forgot? That's really a nobleman's eye ......"
"That's not true ......I ...... " I said, terrified, standing up.
"Then I say to you. Xun brother, you broad, moving and bulky, what else do you want these broken wooden utensils, let me take it. We, a small family, have use for them."
"I'm not broad. I have to sell these, and then go to ......"
"Ah ah ah ah, you put Daodai (9), but also said not broad? You now have three aunts; going out is the eight-carriage sedan chair, still say not broad? I can't hide anything from you."
I knew I had nothing more to say, so I shut my mouth and stood silently.
"Ah ah ah ah ah, really the more money, the more is not willing to relax, the more is not willing to relax, the more money ......," the round rule one side of the indignation back to turn around, the other side of the rambling, and slowly outward, and in the process of a pair of gloves stuffed in the waist of the pants of my mother, went out. waist of her pants and out the door.
Since then I have had visits from close family and relatives. I was able to fulfill my duties and pack my bags, and this went on for three or four days.
One day was a very cold afternoon, I ate lunch, sat down to drink tea, felt that someone outside came in, so I turned around to look. When I looked, I couldn't help but be very out of shock and scrambled to my feet to meet it.
This is Leuntu. Although I knew it was Leonto at first sight, it was not the Leonto I remembered. He had doubled in size; his round purple face had turned gray and yellow, and deep wrinkles had been added; and his eyes, like his father's, were swollen and red around them, as I knew was the case with those who farmed by the sea, and were exposed to the sea breeze all day long. On his head was a tattered felt hat, and on his body was only a very thin cotton shirt, all cowering; in his hand was a paper bag and a long pipe, and his hands were not the red, round hands I remembered, but were thick and clumsy and cracked, like the bark of a pine tree.
I was so excited at this, but I didn't know how to say it, but just said:
"Ah! Brother Leapfrog, - you're here? ......"
I then had a lot of words that wanted to come out in a series of beads: horned chicken, jumping fish, shells, Badger, ......but I always felt blocked by something, a single in the brain inside the whirlwind, spit out of the mouth to go out.
He stood still, with a look of joy and desolation on his face; he moved his lips, but did not make a sound. His manner at last became respectful, and he called out distinctly:
"Master! ......"
I seemed to shiver; I knew then that a sadly thick barrier had come between us. I couldn't speak either.
He turned back to me and said, "Shuisheng, kowtow to the Master." Then he dragged out the child who had been hiding behind him, and it was exactly a leapfrog from twenty years ago, only yellower and thinner, with no silver ring around his neck. "This is the fifth child, who has not seen the world, and hides ......"
Mother and Hong'er came downstairs, and they had about heard the noise.
"Old lady. The letter was received early. I just love it so much to know that his lordship is back ......," said Leapfrog.
"Ah, why are you so polite. You earlier not brother and brother address it? Or as usual: Xun brother." Mother said happily.
"Ah ah, the old lady really ...... this into what rules. At that time is a child, do not know ...... things," Leapfrog said, and called Shuisheng up to play arch, the child but shy, tight only stick to his back.
"He is Shuisheng? The fifth? They are all strangers, and it is no wonder that they are afraid of strangers; still Hong'er and he go for a walk." Mother said.
Hearing this, Hong'er came to beckon Shuisheng, but Shuisheng went out with him all the way loosely. Mother told Leuntu to sit down, and he hesitated, but finally sat down, leaned his long pipe against the table, handed over the paper bag, and said:
"There's not much left for the winter. This little bit of dried green beans is rather home-dried there, please lord ......"
I asked him about his situation. He just shook his head.
"Very hard. The sixth child will help, but there is always not enough food ...... and no peace ...... and money for everything, and no regulations ...... and bad harvests. Plant something, pick to sell, always have to donate money a few times, folded the capital; do not go to sell, and can only rot ......"
He just shook his head; his face, although engraved with many wrinkles, but all immobile, as if a stone statue. He about just felt bitter, but could not describe it, and after a few moments of silence, he picked up his pipe and smoked in silence.
Mother asked him, knowing that he was busy at home and had to go back tomorrow, and that he had not eaten lunch, so she told him to go to the kitchen and fry rice for himself.
He went out; mother and I sighed at his situation: many children, famine, harsh taxes, soldiers, bandits, officials, and the gentry, all of which had made him as bitter as a puppeteer. My mother said to me that I could give him anything he didn't need to move, and that he could choose for himself.
In the afternoon, he picked up a few things: two long tables, four chairs, an incense burner and candlestick, and a scale. And he asked for all the straw ash (we burn straw here for cooking, and the ash, for fertilizer for the sand), which he would carry in his boat when we sailed.
And in the night we talked some idle talk, all unimportant; and the next morning he led Shuisheng back.
After nine days, it was the day of our departure. Leapfrog arrived in the morning, and Shuisheng did not come with him, but only brought a five-year-old daughter to mind the boat. There were many visitors, some to see us off, some to take things, and some to see us off and take things at the same time. By the time we boarded the ship in the evening, the old house was swept clean of all the old and worn-out stuff, big and small.
Our boat went forward, both sides of the green mountains in the dusk, are mounted into a deep diaphanous color, and even back to the back of the boat tip to go.
Hong'er and I were leaning against the window, looking out at the blurred landscape, when he suddenly asked:
"Uncle! When are we coming back?"
"Come back? Why do you want to come back before you've even left."
"But, Shuisheng asked me to play at his house. ......" he mused, his large dark eyes wide and infatuated.
My mother and I were both a little confused, so we brought up Leapfrog again. Mother said, that tofu shi shi Yang two sisters-in-law, since my home since the packing, this is a daily must, the day before yesterday in the ash pile, pulled out more than ten dishes to discuss, they will be said to be intercalary earth buried, he can be in the transportation of ash, moved back to the home; Yang two sisters-in-law found this matter, their own very thought of the work, they took the dog gas kill (which is the apparatus of our chickens, the wooden plate above the fence, inside the food, the chicken can reach out to the chicken, and the chicken will be able to eat, the chicken will be able to eat, the chicken will be able to eat. The dog was not able to peck at the neck of the chicken, but the dog could not, and could only watch the gas die), and flew away, with such high and low feet, and ran so fast.
The old house is getting farther away from me; the landscape of my hometown is also getting farther away from me, but I don't feel any kind of attachment. I only feel that there are invisible high walls on all sides of me, separating me into loneliness, which makes me very angry; that the image of the little hero with the silver collar on the watermelon field, which was very clear to me, is now suddenly blurred, and makes me very sad.
Mother and Hong'er were asleep.
I lay, listening to the gurgling water under the boat, and knew that I was going my way. I thought to myself: how could I have isolated myself from Leapfrog to this extent, but our offspring are still a breath of fresh air, and isn't Hong'er missing Shuisheng. I hope that they are no longer like me, and we are all separated up ...... However, I do not want them to live because they want to be one gas, all like my hard work to spread, and I do not want them all like leap earth's hard work to numb and live, and I do not want them all like other people's hard work to wanton and live. They should have a new life, for what we have not lived.
I thought of hope and was suddenly afraid. When Leapfrog asked for incense burners and candlesticks, I had laughed secretly at him, thinking that he was always worshipping idols and never forgetting anything. Now my so-called hope is not also my own hand-made idol? It's just that his wish is close and mine is far away.
In a haze, I saw a sea of turquoise sand in front of my eyes, and a full golden moon hung in the deep blue sky above me. I thought to myself, "Hope is nothing, nothing at all. This is just like the road on the ground; in fact, there is no road on the ground, walking more people, will become the road.