In real life, Sandra is not only as kind as the characters in the play, but also very easy-going and careless, and is called the entertainment circle by many people? The flower with the biggest heart? .
I remember when I attended Happy Camp, Sandra and Guan Xiaotong played rubber band games together. Guan Xiaotong stretched the rubber band and drew it into Sandra's mouth, which instantly made Sandra's mouth swell. But Sandra joked with tears in her eyes. Guan Xiaotong, how much do you hate me? .
Sandra and Zhou Dongyu are walking together? Twelve flavors? Zhou Dongyu gave Sandra all the work of cutting flowers and plants, joking that Sandra? Shame? Put the tissue on Sandra's head. Sandra is always subconsciously teased by her friends? Patience And tolerant, also said in an interview? Zhou Dongyu is one of my few friends in the circle. ?
Sandra's kindness and tolerance helped the people around her, but at the same time she wronged herself.
There are actually many people like her in reality. Psychologist Harriet Blake wrote a book called Please is a Disease:
Many flatterers don't simply please others, but they are uncontrollable to please others, subconsciously sacrifice themselves, and even indulge in others' recognition and appreciation.
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I am an apple polisher because I want others to like me so much. ?
Beauty writer Jiang has many labels, such as young fame, talented woman and good temper, but what label does she give herself? What is flattery for?
I remember that she was on the talk show "Round Table School" with Xu. This kind of program is to express their opinions, and it is normal for guests to have different opinions. Xu is confident, distinct, unyielding and even a little antagonistic in the program.
Ginger, on the other hand, is very cautious. Facing a circle of people older than herself, with rich experience and profound talents, she humbly caters to everyone's point of view, takes care of everyone's face, observes and feels like a Meidochan drinking tea, and responds to everyone's emotions. When there is an argument between the guests, she livens up the atmosphere and pleases everyone by telling jokes.
He became famous at the age of 9 and became the deputy editor-in-chief of New Weekly at the age of 23. On the road of growing up, Jiang was an out-and-out winner in life, but she said frankly: I have never had sexual relations with anyone? Real? The relationship. ?
From Jiang's body, we can easily see that he is kind-hearted, always habitually thinking of others, and often puts? Excuse me. 、? Excuse me. 、? Trouble? 、? I can do anything, okay? 、? Thank you? It's easy to become a person unconsciously? Cheerful personality? People.
As Jiang He said: Those who really appreciate you will always appreciate your pride, not your pretence of humility and flattery. ?
If you can't tell the difference between flattery and humility, Kipling's words can help you: If you talk to the villagers humbly and walk with the prince without flattery, son, you will feel the dignity and greatness of your personality between lowering your eyebrows and raising your head. ?
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In the movie "The Life of Disliked Pine Nuts", the hostess is a typical one? Cheerful personality? .
She wanted her father's love and attention since she was a child. She is kind and docile and willing to study and work according to her father's requirements, but only by learning circus face can she win her father's smile.
She grew up in a severely depressed fatherly environment in order to gain the recognition and love of her family. When she grew up, she even pretended to be ugly, lied and endured the domestic violence and deception of her lover, but every time she paid kindness, she was alienated and regretted.
Goddess Zhihu? Wang Nuo Noh in Unspeakable? The goddess of plastic surgery? Wu Xiaochen had a talk about plastic surgery, which caused a lot of controversy.
Wang believes that inner beauty is more important than face value, so she will deliberately not wash her hair when attending the company's annual meeting, and she doesn't want others to pay too much attention to her appearance, but at the same time, the photos she put on social accounts are all her own intensive selfies.
What caused her so contradictory and distorted worldview?
The reason is that her mother is worried that her daughter loves beauty too much. Proud? My mother and the school teacher joined hands to suppress her, and she was not allowed to wear skirts for more than ten years, which made her live in inferiority throughout her adolescence.
Being good-looking, with excellent academic performance, is loved by everyone, and has become another' shortcoming' in the eyes of his mother, which makes Wang Nuo Nuo unable to face the evaluation of his good-looking.
It is right not to let children become arrogant, but blindly suppressing children will only lead them to the other extreme: dwarfing themselves.
Strict parents often have a strong desire for control. They are strict with their children by their own standards, ignoring their inner feelings and real needs. Once the child goes against the parents' decision? Rules? Will be criticized, accused, reprimanded and even beaten.
On the surface, children become obedient, sensible and praised by relatives and friends, but in fact, children are timid, afraid to express their true emotions and ideas, from passive? Please. Parents, become active? Desire? Be loved.
When you grow up, you will not only change from pleasing your parents to pleasing everyone, but also lead to? I don't deserve to be loved and feel inferior, which leads to more psychological problems and emotional harm.
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So, how should we avoid cultivating children with likable personality? The following suggestions should be helpful to everyone:
(1) Give children unconditional love and trust
In the movie Wrestle, Dad, the father turned his daughter into an excellent wrestler regardless of secular prejudice and ridicule.
The unconditional love and trust of family members is the best armor for children to grow up. Parents should be good at discovering their children's talents, giving them proper guidance and giving them unconditional trust and love; When encountering setbacks, encourage children to stick to it. The nourishment of love can give children enough sense of security and help them grow into a child who loves home, loves himself and is physically and mentally healthy.
(2) Give children more encouragement and appreciation, which is the source of self-confidence.
A mother was washing dishes in the kitchen. When she heard the children skipping around in the backyard, she shouted to him, What are you doing? ? The child replied:? I want to jump on the moon! ?
Mother didn't suppress the child, nor did she throw cold water on the child. She just smiled and said, Then remember to come back! ? The child later became the first man to land on the moon. He is Armstrong.
Encouragement and appreciation can make children confident. Positive language can stimulate children's unlimited potential and enhance their self-confidence and self-identity; The negative and depressed growth environment is exchanged for the child's imperfect psychology and timid and inferior personality.
(3) Respect children's wishes and choices, and allow children to freely express and accept their imperfect self.
Forrest Gump, the hero of the classic movie Forrest Gump, was born mentally retarded. However, his mother is very strong, patiently guiding her son to enter school to receive a good education, respecting his wishes and choices, allowing him to express himself freely, constantly encouraging him to accept his imperfect self, so that he can develop a self-improvement character and eventually become an outstanding successful person.
Children are not the accessories of parents, and education full of love and respect is the source of stimulating children's potential. As parents, it is most important to provide a free and peaceful environment for their children to grow up, often encourage them to express themselves bravely, give them full respect and support, and let them experience the scenery of life independently.
Professor's comments:
The growth of children should be happy, pure and happy. They laugh when they are happy, cry when they are sad, sleep when they are tired, and like them. They don't need to please others at an early age, lose themselves and lose the courage to follow their own hearts.
For what? Please. Parents should reflect on their own educational methods, give their children positive guidance and affirmation, and make them a suitable person? Please. Yourself, do you know how to speak at the right time? No? People.