Because I used to be such a dropper, so, first of all, let me tell you ，，，，，， this ...... is very difficult ...... but, still, it can be changed ......
I The reason why I changed, because society forced me to change, however, my method is not necessarily suitable for you, you look at it ......
First of all, you have to observe more of other people's words and deeds, everything has to start from the imitation, of course, not let you go to see other people's bad habits, but to look at some of the successful people or surrounded by some of the praise of the people's Outstanding, you can learn a little, change is to be a little bit by little bit, can not be anxious, slowly, to do a comprehensive summary of their own and other people's evaluation of you, but also have to face up to their own shortcomings, and then go to a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a change, as well. If self-control is too poor people will always bring trouble to others, or to become a handle for others to criticize you or hurt you, so you have to often remind yourself, tell yourself, to put where to do well, not to be caught by others handle, to let themselves live better ...... words so hard to type Oh, if, and want to know specifically, leave your drop contact! way well ...... hey, come on oh, slowly change, can drop ......
I am a person with poor self-control.When you can't do it, punish yourself, such as not eating or something. It should be effective.
(Kneeling) I am a person with poor self-control, who can tell me how I should go about it!Although self-control is very poor, but also to learn to restrain themselves ah, people can not allow themselves to do what they want to do?
I am a person with poor self-control, how can I exercise my will? How to control yourself, please introduce simple and practical methods, because I am a person with poor self-controlOh, to know their own responsibility, you have to be responsible for themselves. This is fundamental.
Methods, for example, you can tell your friends and family what you want to accomplish, and say, if you can't do it.
Resisting temptation method 1: results comparison method. Imitation of those successful people's way of thinking, let's be quiet, spend some time to analyze: the results of the failure is caused by the results; if we dedicate our minds to study and work, that is, resist the temptation, we will get what results; if we use our minds in other areas, that is, resist the temptation, we will get what consequences. In this way we can make a table in which we fill in what pleasures we will obtain in the future if we endure suffering now, and what pains we will suffer in the future if we rush to pleasure now. For example: the small suffering now studies diligently and painstakingly, misses some good programs, gives up fun games, quits his favorite basketball, insists on long-distance running every night, spends the time he spends sleeping on exercising, saves the money he spends on sweet drinks to buy books, and doesn't get together with his colleagues to engage in small talk. ...... The big suffering in the future lives in a cold and cramped house, works hard and earns little, and passes through high-class hotels and restaurants. Income is meager, passing through the door of a high-class hotel feel inferior, weak, unable to be with their favorite people, do not dare to talk about the dream, such as impulse, anger into, such as false publicity and self-interest, to the old nothing, the latter half of the life of a lonely and miserable ...... future great joy have superior jobs, live in a luxury villa, driving a nice car to travel, parents and relatives with their own well-being, with the real People enjoy the happiness with themselves, live happily with the people they really like, have a healthy body and a fit body, have the ability to protect themselves and their loved ones from harm, and spend the second half of their lives happily... Nowadays, Xiaole plays games to get short-lived happiness, watches movies to win the hearts of the girls, listens to music, throws down his work and sleeps, searches for ***, spends money to buy luxuries, chats with people and does not cherish his body. Stay up late, drink, in front of classmates to show off the game skills "to earn face" ... We complete this table according to their own personal situation, print it out, stick it in the place where they get up and can see, every morning and evening to read once. Read the vertical comparison, you will find that eating small suffering for great joy is worthwhile; horizontal comparison, you will find that the present small suffering and small joy are insignificant. Every loser in his old age regrets not having eaten that small suffering for that great joy, because they compare and realize that they were too stupid in the first place, and all we have to do is to compare now. Every morning or evening, look at this table to reinforce this way of thinking; whenever you are about to lose your self-control, compare the small pleasure in front of you with the big pleasure in the future that you have lost, and compare the small pain that you are avoiding in front of you with the big pain that you will have in the future. Over time it will be like those who are successful, can be in the face of temptation, smart thinking, the correct trade-offs. Resist temptation method two: strong *** method. This method, you need to first select a few people you think have been very successful, such as Bill? Gates, Dale Carnegie, Yukinobu Matsushita. Carnegie, Matsushita Konosuke, Li Ka-shing, Li Zhengdao ...... in short, you admire the people, to understand how they are hard work and study, to learn how they are operating their own skills. Then come back to select a few you are familiar with the same collective with you or the same industry, and has made you the same kind of people envy the impressive achievements of the "quasi-successful", review or observe how they do. Well, now you have a sample of the behavior of two groups of people, the first group is already successful - the people you are likely to become, and the second group is a stronger group - the people you are likely to compete with. Listing their behaviors helps you gauge what to do: what the first category does, you need to do, because that's what they did to be successful, and that's what you need to do to be successful; and what the second category does, you need to do at least more than they do, because you can't be successful without outperforming them. Again, you need to tally up these results, put them on paper, hang them on the wall, and strengthen your awareness every day to *** yourself to do the right thing. In the long run, when you are enjoying yourself or ready to enjoy yourself, you will think of what those people are doing, and you will be able to consciously trade-offs. Resist Temptation 3: Don't socialize with people who have nothing better to do. The truth is self-evident, so what kind of people should you associate with? Associate more with those above, with successful people or with competitors who are better than you. This works better than listing their actions on a wall because while associating with them, you are equivalent to watching these people do a personal demonstration that not only motivates you to be self-controlled, but also teaches you how to be self-controlled. He can make you learn good habits, at the same time in front of them think you will not show bad habits; and you will find that with them, you can also learn a lot of knowledge, master a lot of information, will be very happy. After a period of time, your shortcomings have been changed, while there are many more advantages, and the whole person has improved. When I was in college, there is such a kind of people, they sit with the good study in class, eat with the good study, go to self-study with the good study ...... Facts have proved that these people, whether they are smart or not, there is no poor academic performance, the reason is true. But we should not easily give up friends, we can help each other, *** with progress. This not only helps the friend, deepen the friendship, while urging others is the best supervision of their own. Resist temptation method four: behavior inertia method. When I was a child, I saw Chen Pesi and Zhu Shimao performed a skit "police and thieves", about a thief wearing a police uniform posing as a police officer, he grew up envying the police so pretend to be a police officer like a real police officer to help people, the results of the last even forgot that they are actually a thief, but also to help the police to catch their own accomplices. When we consistently do the right thing, our mind will be affected by the subtle influence; if we often do things that require self-control, our self-control will naturally increase. This behaves like an inertia of behavior, so apply this principle to the development of self-control. For example, let's set a fixed time for ourselves that is easy to come up with, and define what we can only do during that fixed time. For example, every night at eleven o'clock (before going to bed), a glass of milk, which is very easy to do, because it is also originally a beautiful thing, but when you assume it as a beautiful task to strictly carry out, your mind will gradually become willing to carry out the task. And then modifying that relatively fixed schedule to be a little more difficult, for example, after that goal has lasted for a week, you begin to set yourself the rule that you will memorize your vocabulary every night from 7:00 p.m. to 7:30 p.m., and that will also be very well executed. By doing so gradually, you will eventually become able to overcome all difficulties and thoroughly execute any program you have in mind. But we shouldn't be too aggressive in framing most of the day in a schedule; that's so unworkable that it discourages self-control. This is a way to leverage behavioral inertia by fixing your schedule. We can also do a few more things that require self-control when we're in a positive frame of mind (if you have one), with the goal of getting you used to the feeling of restraining your desires. Just as a boxer trains his defense so that his muscles become numb after a blow, our tolerance for our desires is strengthened by such a refining, making it possible to endure even when you're in a not-so-positive state of mind. For example, you've just failed an exam, and you're in an aggressive state of mind at this point; seize this opportunity to put your hobbies to the test one by one. Turn on the TV, turn on the novel, walk across the basketball court ...... If you still have a little bit of minimum determination, you will understand that this is the time to go to study, because this is the time to think positively. And the result of this is that the next time you turn on the TV, turn on a novel, walk across the basketball court, a conditioned reflex-like response will make you remember what you were thinking when you failed the exam in the face of the TV, the novel, and the basketball, and eventually succeed in persuading yourself to do what needs to be done. This is a one-time method of using behavioral inertia in a short period of time, you can also play your own application, but be sure to pay attention to the feasibility. Resist temptation method 5: targeted to change a bad habit, acquire a good habit. A self-control is not strong, there will be a lot of temptation can not resist, manifested in a lot of bad bad habits, then we can use this method from Franklin. Franklin mentioned this method in his "Autobiography of Franklin": he first listed the 13 most important virtues to be acquired, he believed that in order to acquire these virtues, not immediately to try to comprehensively, but in a period of time (such as a week) to focus on mastering one of the virtues. When we have mastered that virtue, we then begin to pay attention to another, and for a certain period of time, we should also pay attention to applying what we have learned from the first two, and so on until we have mastered all 13 of them. At the same time, because some of the virtues acquired first can facilitate the cultivation of others, he arranges the 13 virtues in the following order: (1) Temperance. Eating without passing him; drinking without getting drunk. (2) Few words. Words must be beneficial to others and to oneself. Avoid unprofitable chatter. (3) Order in life. There should be a place for everything. There should be a certain amount of time for each daily task. (4) Determination. Do what must be done, and persevere in what you are determined to do. (5) Frugality. Money must be used for the benefit of others or oneself, in other words, to avoid waste. (6) Diligence. Waste no time; do useful things at all times, and abstain from all unnecessary action. (7) Sincerity. Do not deceive; be pure and just in thought, and so in speech. (8) Justice. Do not do anything to the detriment of others; do not forget to fulfill the obligations that are both beneficial to others and incumbent upon you. (9) Moderation. Avoid extremes; if men give you the punishment you deserve, tolerate it. (10) Cleanliness. Strive for cleanliness in your body, clothes and dwelling. (11) Calmness. Do not be alarmed by trifles or ordinary inevitabilities. (12) Chastity. Except for the sake of health or the procreation of offspring. Do not engage in sexual intercourse very often, and abstain from excesses which may injure the body or jeopardize the peace or honor of yourself or others. (13) Modesty. Imitate Jesus and Socrates. Franklin checked his progress daily. He made a booklet and assigned each virtue to a page, and each page was scratched in red ink into seven columns, or the seven days of the week; then he scratched each page into thirteen more rows, or thirteen virtues. Each day, when examined, if a fault was found in the two or three virtues of concern, a black dot was drawn in the corresponding space. Its most striking advantage is its simplicity. It is much easier to draw a dot than to write a daily summary, and therefore easier to stick to for a long time; the visual table makes it as simple as just estimating the number of dots to summarize after a week. This is a wonderful method! We can also see that 1, 3, 4, 5, 6, 11, and 12 of the thirteen virtues are all virtues of self-control, so it is clear that Franklin also believed that in order to improve emotional intelligence, the first thing to start with is self-control, and it should be a big part of it. We can also make a list of the virtues we think are most important, and then look at which of those virtues our bad habits violate, and take care to change that bad habit as we learn the good ones in a targeted way. However, I suggest that you list the most important ones first, no more than ten, which you can learn five times in a year, and then after a year you can learn those relatively less important ones to further improve yourself, which is also in line with the methodology of grasping the key points. In fact, such a method is precisely a method of monitoring and scrutinizing oneself, because it is never possible to achieve the best results by studying without knowing whether you are progressing or regressing. And in implementing this method, we need the support of other methods of improving self-control, because it's not easy for someone with little self-control to stick to a virtue for a week. That's why I have listed this method as the last of these ways to improve resistance to temptation from the mind above.
What follows is a list of ways to resist the temptations we will encounter or have encountered. Resisting temptation method 6: Fully anticipate difficulties and be prepared. There is a saying that "if you fail to prepare, you are preparing to fail", and being prepared for difficulties is an important part of preparation. As we said earlier, success includes both success in life and success in doing something extraordinary. No matter which kind of success, it requires some necessary qualities, such as focus, courage, hard work, etc., but in the process of doing towards this goal, there will be a lot of difficulties ensue. These difficulties include both external obstacles and temptations, and they are not easy to overcome. If you are not prepared at the beginning of doing something, then such a surprise attack will easily break your will. So before we do everything, we have to fully anticipate the possible obstacles and temptations we may encounter, and prepare for them and think of ways to cope with them. For example, if we want to study for two hours in a row, what are the obstacles that we should overcome? There is a phone call, thirsty to buy water, pen out of water, no pages in the book, do not recognize the words to look up the dictionary, want to listen to music, encountered a difficult problem and want to go out for a walk ...... These obstacles, once the self-study to stop, often gives us an excuse, and may lead to more obstacles, so that self-study for a long time to interrupt. Then we are ready: cell phone off temporarily, with good water, pen water, check the ballpoint pen refill, check the book, bring a dictionary, do not bring a Walkman, delete the music in the mp3, be prepared (such as written on a note put next to) even if you encounter a difficult problem to change the topic to do or turn to memorize the vocabulary never go away, beforehand, formulate a good structure of the paper do not get stuck in the middle of the road... ...Anyone who is in the process of doing something (different from not doing it yet), know that doing this thing is the right thing to do, then people "tend to avoid suffering" is often the way to find an excuse for themselves, we blocked the possibility of generating excuses, is to help self-control to overcome the temptation. Resist temptation method 7: global thinking. Usually when we want to do some unnecessary things to seek happiness, in order to make ourselves feel at ease, we will find some excuses for themselves, such as depressed mood to study, work a little tired, not too comfortable, the soccer game once in a lifetime, concerts do not see on the gone, learn a day should be relaxed (the actual does not have to be a day of real learning), and so on, then we should do is to stop! What we should do at this point is to stop ourselves from making excuses. Most of these excuses overemphasize immediacy, "I'm tired now, it's not efficient to study now," "The concert is only once," "The TV show is only once," and after these I'll come back to study after I'm done with it, study whenever you want, but those things can only be done now ...... In fact, we are consciously over-exaggerating these seemingly urgent but meaningless things. At this point we can smile and ask ourselves, "Is it an excuse?" Then we consider it holistically: are we seeking ambitious goals and long-lasting happiness? Is our goal in life to watch more exciting programs? How do these immediate things help us in any substantial way? Is it worth it to go for small immediate pleasures as opposed to learning that one will lose that big distant pleasure? One way of dealing with matters is to divide them into four categories: important and urgent, important and not urgent, unimportant and urgent, and unimportant and not urgent. What we need to do first are the first two kinds, and not be distracted by things that are not important but seem urgent. Resisting Temptation Method 8: Self-suggestion. The core of success science is consciousness and self-control, in order to improve self-control, we can also use consciousness, choose a favorable situation to self-suggestion. For example, when they learn a moment to feel quiet, close your eyes, adjust your breathing, and then consciously study a period of time to produce boredom to forget, suggesting that they are in fact just immediately to learn, and then make a struggle to start to continue to learn. Another example is that when you encounter friends pulling you to play games or go to bars and other entertainment consumption, if you can't control it, then imagine yourself as a person who is allergic to computer games and drinking. This seems to be a bit like hypnosis, some people's self-referential ability is strong, with this method will even gradually really think of themselves as a person who is allergic to alcohol, so you have to use it with moderation.
From the following aspects:
1, strengthen self-awareness. When things go wrong, we should be calm and cool, and use our own brains to exclude outside interference or hints, and learn to make decisions on our own. To completely get rid of the kind of dependence on others, overcome the inferiority complex, develop self-confidence and independence.
2, strengthen the positive thinking. As the saying goes, "Everything is in advance, not in advance is wasted." Usually pay attention to often think about the problem, enhance the foresight, the key moment in order to timely, decisive, accurate choices. Self-control refers to a person's will to act in a good control of their emotions, restraint of their words and deeds.
3, improve cultural literacy. Generally speaking, a person's cultural literacy and its ability to bear and self-control is directly proportional. People with higher cultural qualities are often able to understand things more comprehensively and correctly, recognize the relationship between self and others, and consciously carry out self-control, self-improvement.
I am a person with poor self-control ability, I cover how to change this bad habit. Zizi give forceHeartlessness is nothing!
I am a person with poor self-control, how can I control myself!Controlling oneself is not a very easy thing to do, because there is always a struggle between reason and emotion in each of our hearts. " Do what you are happy to do ", or take a reckless attitude is not really free. You should have the ability to overcome your feelings and control your destiny. If you let your feelings dictate your actions, you become a slave to your feelings.
If you plan to do something today, can you leave the warmth of your nest and get out of bed without hesitation? If you're going on a long trip, but your body is weak, do you want to cancel your travel plans? If you are doing something and encounter insurmountable difficulties, do you continue to do it, or do you stop and wait and see? The answers to questions like these are obvious on paper, but when you're in the middle of it and you're grilling yourself, I'm afraid you won't be able to answer them so easily. It is a fact that so many people are intimidated when they encounter problems in their lives and work. The first thing you need to know is that you are not going to be able to answer these questions in a simple way, but you are going to have a hard time controlling your thoughts.
Self-control is about overcoming desires. It's not just about restraining your desires materially, but also mentally.
So how does a person develop self-control?
(1) Mastery of one's own mind. There is no consciousness to play a leading role, people can not have specific behavior. Control of thought, we must understand what we want, what we can not want, this is the problem of awareness. Then figure out how to reject what can not be done, forced to specialize in doing what should be done, this is the method of the problem. Finally, weighed, they do how, do not do and how, this is the establishment of the premise of perseverance, is the transition from the control of thought to control behavior.
(2) control goals. The goal is the core of thought, but also a guide to action.
Controlling the goal is an important way to achieve success. Control goals, we must develop goals. Goals have a long-term, medium-term, there should also be short-term. Medium- and long-term goals and short-term goals and objectives, do it in mind, busy but not chaotic.
(3) control time. People live in space and time, space to accommodate people, time to change people. Many people do not do things well, is not to utilize the time.
(Especially in your case, if it is a bit of cell phone addiction, you can give yourself to develop a specific time to review or play with your phone, it is best not to ten minutes between classes, because the time is too short, you have not yet seen it, on the class. Furthermore, set a time for you to check your cell phone! (The same goes for surfing the web.)
You should take what you're planning to do and make an organized plan for it, taking into account your personal situation. This is not an easy task, as people often don't understand not only what they have to do, but also when and for how long they have to do it. If many things and limited time are fully integrated, things are done well and time is not wasted, you can choose the time to work, play or rest. When we have control over time, we can change everything about ourselves.
In our daily lives, we remind ourselves to be self-disciplined and consciously cultivate the spirit of self-discipline. For example, for your own character of a shortcoming or bad habits, limited to a time period, focus on correcting, the effect will be better.
Never indulge yourself and give yourself excuses. Be strict with yourself, over time, self-discipline will become a habit, a way of life, your personality and wisdom has become more perfect
How to improve poor self-controlFirst you need to think clearly about what kind of person you want to become (goal) and what kind of person (status quo), you are not poor self-control in all things? Or do you have the self-control to do the things you are interested in or the things you have to do (as if there is a gun on your head)?
Poor self-control is often a matter of thought, that is, you do not think you have to do things you should do and want to do, that is to say, people with poor self-control often do not have a clear goal, often like to use their own judgment standards instead of socially accepted standards of judgment, and tend to be lazy.
So I suggest you first think about these questions:
1, what kind of person do you want to be? Including short-term goals and long-term goals
2, what kind of person are you now?
3. Do you have the power to change the accepted standards of judgment in society?
Then you think back every night before you go to bed and think about what you did today and what was in line with your goals. Every morning think about what you should do today. You can change your lazy habits by doing small things. As long as you keep doing this for a while, you will develop a sense of self-confidence that you can accomplish what you need to do. If you still can't, then you need to find a way to force yourself to do it, such as living in a group, in a constrained environment, you will have to do some things you don't want to do or don't think you should do, but other people force you to do. If you're an adult, consider joining the military.