I braved the severe cold to return to my hometown, which is more than 2,000 miles away and has been away for more than 20 years.

Since it was late winter, as we approached my hometown, the weather became gloomy again. The cold wind blew into the cabin, making a whining sound.

Looking out from the slit, I saw a pale yellow color. Under the sky, there are several desolate deserted villages far and near, without any vitality. My

heart couldn't help but feel sad. Ah! Isn’t this the hometown I remember from time to time in the past twenty years?

This is nothing like the hometown I remember. My hometown is much better. But if I were to remember his beauty and describe his

good qualities, there would be no images or words. It seems like that's it. So I explained to myself: The same is true in my hometown - although there is no progress, it may not be as sad as I feel. This is just a change in my own mood, because I was not in a good mood when I returned to my hometown this time.

I came here specifically to say goodbye to him. The old house where we have lived together as a family for many years has been jointly sold to another family name.

The deadline for handing over the house is only this year, so we must hurry up before the first day of the first lunar month to say goodbye to the old people we know so well. House, and far away from my familiar hometown, moved to a different place where I was looking for food.

I arrived at the door of my house early the next morning. Many dead grass stems on the corrugated roof were shaking in the wind, explaining the reason why this old house would inevitably change owners. The main family who lived a few rooms away had probably moved out, so it was very quiet. When I arrived outside my room, my mother had already greeted me, and then my eight-year-old nephew Hong'er flew out.

My mother was very happy, but she also had a lot of desolation. She taught me to sit down, rest, and drink tea, not to talk about moving.

Hong'er had never seen me, he stood far away and just looked at me.

But we finally talked about moving. I said that the apartment outside has been rented and I have bought a few pieces of furniture. Now I need to sell all the wooden furniture in the house and add more. Mother also agreed, and the luggage had been gathered together. The wooden items that were inconvenient to carry were sold out, but half of them were sold, but they couldn't collect the money.

"You can rest for a day or two and visit your relatives and family, and then we can leave." Mother said.

"Yes."

"And Runtu, every time he comes to my house, he always asks about you and wants to see you. I have already brought you home< /p>

Notify him of the approximate date, he may be coming soon.”

At this time, a magical picture suddenly flashed in my mind: hanging in the deep blue sky. A golden full moon

Below is the sandy land by the seaside, with endless green watermelons planted there. Among them is an eleven or twelve-year-old

boy with a silver necklace. Circle, holding a steel fork in his hand, he stabbed a harpoon as hard as he could, but the harpoon twisted his body and escaped from his crotch.

This young man is Runtu. When I met him, he was only over ten years old, thirty years ago. At that time, my father was still alive and my family was well off, so I was just a young master. That year, my family held a big sacrifice for the new year (3).

This sacrifice is said to only come once in more than thirty years, so it is very solemn; in the first month of the year, ancestor statues are offered, there are many offerings, and the sacrificial vessels are very particular.

The worshipers There are many of them, and the sacrificial vessels must be guarded against theft. My family only has one busy month (there are three types of people who work for people here

: those who work for a certain family throughout the year are called long-term workers; those who work for others on a daily basis are called part-time workers; and those who work for others themselves

< p>Di, who only came to work for certain people during the New Year, festivals and rent collection times (called busy month), was too busy, so he told his father that he could ask his son Runtu to take charge of the sacrificial vessels. of.

My father agreed; I am also very happy, because I have heard the name Runtu a long time ago, and know that he and I are the same age, born in the leap month, and the five elements are missing. Earth (4), so his father called him Runtu. He can pretend to be [Gong Jing] to catch small birds

.

So I look forward to the New Year every day. When the New Year arrives, Runtu will also arrive. Finally, at the end of the year, one day, my mother told me that Runtu was coming, so I ran to see her.

He is in the kitchen with a round purple face, a small felt hat on his head, and a bright silver collar around his neck. This shows that his father loves him very much and is afraid that he will die, so he< /p>

He made a wish in front of the gods and Buddhas and trapped him with a circle. He was very shy when meeting people, but he was not afraid of me. He would talk to me when there were no other people around. Within half a day, we became familiar with each other.

We didn't know what we were talking about at that time. I just remember that Runtu was very happy, saying that after going to the city, he saw many things that he had never seen before.

The next day, I asked him to catch birds. He said:

"This can't be done. It has to snow heavily. It snowed on our sandy ground, so I cleared out a clearing and used short

sticks to prop up a big bamboo When I scattered the grain on the bamboo plaque and watched the birds come to eat it, I just pulled the rope tied to the stick from a distance, and the bird was covered under the bamboo plaque. : Rice chicken, horned chicken, swan, blue-backed..."

So I was looking forward to snowing again.

Runtu said to me again:

"It's too cold now. Come to us in the summer. We go to the beach to pick up shells during the day. There are red and green ones. /p>

There are also ghosts and Guanyin hands. My father and I will take care of the watermelon tonight, and you will go too.”

“ No. If a person is thirsty and picks a melon to eat, it is not considered stealing here. What we have to deal with is the badger, the hedgehog, and the porcupine. Under the moon, listen. , The turtle is biting the melon. Then you pinched the fork and walked gently

..."

I didn't know what this so-called turtle was at that time. The thing - I don't know even now - it just feels like a puppy and very ferocious for no reason.

"Doesn't he bite?"

"There is a Hucha. When you get there, you see the harpoon, and you stab it. This beast is very smart and runs towards you. Instead, he jumped out from under his crotch. His fur was as smooth as oil..."

I never knew there were so many strange things in the world: there are such colorful shells on the seaside; Watermelon has such dangerous experience

I only knew that he was betrayed in the fruit shop.

"In our sandy land, when the tide is coming, there are many jumping fish just jumping, with two legs like frogs

..."

Ah! There are endless strange things in Runtu's heart, which are unknown to my ordinary friends. They

They didn't know something. When Runtu was at the beach, they, like me, only saw the sky at the four corners of the high wall in the yard.

Unfortunately, the first month passed and Runtu had to go home. I was so anxious that he burst into tears. He also hid in the kitchen, crying and refused to go out.

But he was finally The father took it away. He later asked his father to bring me a pack of shells and some nice bird feathers. I gave him things once or twice, but we never met again.

Now that my mother mentioned him, all my memories of my time here suddenly came to life like lightning, and I seemed to

see my beautiful hometown. I responded and said:

"That's great! He, - how is it?..."

"He?... His situation is also very unsatisfactory..." Mother said, then Looking outside the room, "These people are here again.

They said they were buying wooden utensils, so they just took them casually. I have to go and have a look."

The mother stood up and Out. There were several women's voices outside the door. I invited Hong'er to come closer and chat with him: I asked him if he could write and if he was willing to go out.

"Shall we go by train?"

"Let's go by train."

"Where is the boat?"

"First Take a boat,..."

"Ha! This is what it looks like! The beard is so long!" A sharp and strange voice suddenly shouted.

I was startled and quickly raised my head, only to see a woman in her fifties with protruding cheekbones and thin lips standing in front of me, with her hands on her hips. , without a skirt, with her feet spread out, just like a slender compass in a drawing instrument.

I was stunned.

"Don't you recognize me? I even hugged you!"

I was even more stunned. Fortunately, my mother also came in and said from the side: "He has been out for many years and has forgotten all about it. You should remember," she said to me, "This is Yang Er across the door.

Sister-in-law,...she owns a tofu shop.”

Oh, I remember. When I was a child, there was indeed a Mrs. Yang sitting all day long in the tofu shop diagonally across the door.

People called her "Tofu Xishi"⑹. But with the whitening powder on her face, her cheekbones are not so high, and her lips are not so thin.

And sitting all day long, I have never seen such a compass-like posture. At that time, people said: Because, the business of this tofu shop is very good. But probably because of my age, I didn't have any influence on it, so I completely forgot about it.

However, the compass was very uneven, showing a look of disdain, as if mocking the French for not knowing Napoleon⑺ and the Americans for not knowing Washington⑻. He sneered and said:

"Forgot? This is really a noble person's arrogance..."

"Then there is such a thing...I..." I stood up in fear and said.

"Then, let me tell you. Brother Xun, you are rich and cumbersome to move. What else do you want from these broken wooden utensils?

Let me take them. We Small families need it."

"I'm not rich. I have to sell these and go..."

"Oh, please let me know. Now you have a wife with three bedrooms, and you can carry a sedan with eight carriages, but you can't hide anything from me." p> I knew I had nothing to say, so I shut up and stood silently.

"Ah ah ah ah, the richer you are, the more unwilling you are to relax. The more unwilling you are to relax, the richer you are.

Compass..." Compass He turned around angrily, said something coquettishly, walked out slowly, stuffed a pair of my mother's gloves into the waistband of his trousers, and went out.

After that, my family and relatives from nearby came to visit me. While I was socializing, I took some time to pack some luggage, and three or four days passed like this.

One day it was a very cold afternoon. After lunch, I was sitting drinking tea. I felt someone came in outside, so I turned back to see. When I saw it, I couldn't help but be very frightened. I stood up in a hurry and walked towards it.

This is Runtu. Although I knew it was Runtu as soon as I saw it, it was not the Runtu in my memory.

His stature has doubled; the previous round purple face has turned grayish-yellow and has deep wrinkles;

The eyes are also like his father's, The surrounding area was swollen and red. I knew that this was probably the case for people who farmed by the sea and were exposed to the sea breeze all day long. He wore a broken felt hat on his head, and only a very thin cotton coat on his body, which was all tied up;

He was holding a paper bag and a long cigarette pipe in his hand, and that hand was not mine. The red and round hands that I remember were thick, clumsy and cracked, like pine bark.

I was very excited at this time, but I didn’t know what to say. I just said:

"Ah! Brother Runtu, - you are here?..."

I then had many words that I wanted to say in succession: horned chicken, jumping fish, shells, quail,... but

I always felt like I was being blocked by something. It's spinning in my head and I can't spit it out.

He stood still, with a look of joy and sadness on his face; he moved his lips but made no sound. His attitude finally became respectful, and he shouted clearly:

"Master!..."

I seemed to shudder; You know, there is already a sadly thick barrier between us. I

was also speechless.

He turned around and said, "Shui Sheng, kowtow to the master." Then he dragged out the child hiding behind him. This was none other than Runtu from twenty years ago. It's just that Huang is thinner and there is no silver ring around his neck. "This is the fifth child. He has never seen the world and is hiding..." Mother and Hong'er came downstairs, and they probably heard the sound.

"Old lady. I received the letter a long time ago.

I really like him so much, knowing that the master is back..." Runtu said.

"Ah, why are you so polite? Didn't you call me brother before? Still the same: Brother Xun. "

The mother said happily.

"Ah, the old lady is really... what kind of rule is this. I was a child at that time and was ignorant..." Runtu said,

He also asked Shuisheng to come up and do some arching, but the child was shy and stuck close to his back.

"Is he an aquatic creature? The fifth one? They are all strangers, so it is no wonder that they are afraid of them; Hong'er should go for a walk with him. "

Mother said.

After hearing this, Hong'er came to recruit Shuisheng, but Shuisheng went out with him easily. Mother asked Runtu to sit,

p>

He hesitated for a while, then finally sat down, leaned the long pipe against the table, handed over the paper package, and said:

"There is nothing in winter. These dried green beans are dried at home, sir..."

I asked him about his situation. He just shook his head.

"It's very difficult. The sixth child will also help, but there is always not enough food... and there is no peace... money is required everywhere

There are no regulations...the harvest is bad. If you grow something and sell it, you will have to donate money several times and lose the money;

If you don't sell it, it will only rot..."

He just shook his head; Although there were many wrinkles on his face, he was completely motionless, like a stone statue. He probably just felt bitter, but he couldn't describe it. After being silent for a while, he picked up the pipe and started talking silently. Smoking.

His mother asked him, knowing that he had to go back tomorrow because he was busy with business at home, and he had not had lunch, so she asked him to go to the kitchen to make fried rice. .

He went out; my mother and I both lamented his situation: having many children, famine, heavy taxes, soldiers, bandits, officials, and gentry,

all made him as miserable as a man. My mother told me that I could give him anything that didn’t need to be moved, and he could choose it himself.

In the afternoon, he picked out a few items. Things: two long tables, four chairs, a pair of incense burners and candlesticks, and a scale.

He also wants all the straw ashes (we use straw for cooking here, and the ashes can be used for cooking. Fertilizer for the sand), and when we set off, he carried it back and forth in the boat. During the night, we talked some more, all of which were insignificant; The next morning, he took Shuisheng back. Nine days later, it was time for our departure. Runtu arrived in the morning, but Shuisheng didn't come with him. We only have a five-year-old daughter to take care of the boat. We are very busy all day long and have no time to chat. There are many visitors, some delivering things and some picking up things. , some saw off and picked up things. By the time we got on the boat in the evening, all the old and small things in the old house had been wiped out.

As our boat moved forward, the green hills on both sides turned dark in the dusk and retreated towards the back of the boat.

Hong'er and I moved closer. Looking out of the boat window and looking at the blurry scenery outside, he suddenly asked: "Uncle! When will we come back? "

"Come back? Why do you want to come back before you leave? "

"But Shuisheng invited me to play at his house..." He opened his big black eyes and thought dreamily.

My mother and I were also a little confused. , so she mentioned Runtu again. My mother said, the tofu-loving Sister-in-law Yang has been visiting my house every day since she packed her luggage. The day before yesterday, she took out more than ten items from the ashes. When the dishes came,

after some discussion, they decided that they were buried by Runtu, and he could move them back home together when the ashes were being transported; Ersao Yang

found out I took credit for this, so I took the dog to death (this is the equipment we use to raise chickens here. The wooden tray has a fence on it and contains food. The chickens can stretch their necks to peck at it. , but the dog couldn't, he could only watch and get angry), Fei

also ran away, thanks to Yi's small feet, he could run so fast

Old House. They are getting farther and farther away from me; the mountains and rivers of my hometown are gradually moving away from me, but I don’t feel any nostalgia.

I just felt that there were invisible high walls around me, which separated me and made me very depressed; the image of the little hero with the silver necklace on the watermelon ground, I used to be very clear, but now it's suddenly blurred, which makes me very sad.

Both mother and Hong'er fell asleep.

I lay down and listened to the gurgling water under the boat, knowing that I was walking my way. I thought: I am so isolated from Runtu, but our descendants are still in the same mood. Isn't Hong'er missing Shui Sheng? I hope that they will no longer be like me,

and everyone will be estranged... However, I don’t want them to live like my hard work just because they want to be angry,

nor do I want them to They all live like Runtu's hard work and live numbly, and they don't want to live like other people's hard work and live casually.

They deserve a new life, one we have never lived.

I thought about hope and suddenly became afraid. When Runtu asked for the incense burner and candlestick, I laughed at him secretly, thinking that he always worshiped idols and would never forget them. Now what I call hope is not an idol made by myself

? It's just that his wish is close, while my wish is far away.

In my haziness, a piece of green sand on the seaside spread out in front of me, and a golden full moon hung in the deep blue sky above.

I think: Hope does not matter whether it exists or not. This is just like the road on earth; in fact, there is no road on earth, but when there are more people walking on it, it becomes a road.

January 1921.