The actual combat sharing of six Shuang Bao mothers: Wen Yuan (37 years old, business)
Babies: Fanta, Sprite (49 years old)
Mom: Elsa (35 years old, teacher)
Baby: Nai Nai Duoduo (2y10m).
Mom: Gu (38 years old, Senior Executive Officer)
Baby: goo goo (1Y5M)
Mom: Rare (26 years old, practical nurse)
Baby: Yongqing, Yongqing (7 meters)
Mom: Maggie (36 years old, freelance)
Baby: Sapphire, Farah (3Y3M)
Mom: Nini (30 years old, housekeeping)
Baby: brother and younger brother (2Y 1M)
Part A, life nursing novice parents are already anxious to welcome the newborn. At this time, if you have two babies at a time, it will definitely be darker! Has Shuang Bao's mother ever considered raising two babies separately? How do you usually breastfeed? After feeding one, change to the next one? How do you usually breastfeed? After feeding one, change to the next one? Is there anything more difficult to take care of twins?
Q 1。 Have you ever considered raising two babies separately? A dozen of two is quite hard, especially when the object is twins! Has Shuang Bao's father ever considered separating the two babies? One lets his parents take care of him, and the other takes care of himself? What was the subsequent decision?
Mommy will take care of the baby at home 1 year.
Gu A Mu once hesitated whether it was good to take only one baby, and the other baby needed other people's help. But who should I ask to bring it? And which baby to send away is a problem. Ask the elders for help, taking into account their physical strength and possible differences in parenting concepts. If you send it to the nanny's house, if you don't see it, you will always feel uneasy. After all, child abuse is frequent. The baby care center is worried that germs will infect each other, that young babies can't resist the virus, and that there are many teachers in the baby care center, which may not be able to properly appease the crying baby. Therefore, Gu A Mu decided to take a year off without pay.
This year, Gu A Mu took Shuang Bao with him, so that the baby can feel maternal love, build a sense of security, and grow up in a pure environment, thus reducing the chance of getting sick. Gu is very grateful to her family for their help during this period, which gave her some breathing space. A year later, when Shuang Bao was better at expressing himself and could see how they felt about things (whether they liked the teacher/environment or not), he arranged to entrust Shuang Bao, and he was reinstated as scheduled.
Wen Yuan's mother said frankly that she had considered giving her children to her parents for care, but her parents lived far away from her wife, so it was not convenient to breast-feed them. She didn't know which child to keep and which to take to her parents. Therefore, I will take care of myself at home for one year, and then I will have a place in the public nursery, so that Shuang Bao can work in the public nursery during the day and go home at night and holidays.
Please take parental leave, sir.
Elsa Mommy never wanted to take Shuang Bao alone. From the beginning, she decided to take her two children with her husband. He took parental leave and accompanied the baby wholeheartedly. Of course, family support is indispensable. For example, in the first three months of the baby's return to China, my mother stayed at home to help almost every day. With the help of my aunt, it is really necessary to take two babies at a time!
Unwilling to separate Shuang Bao from his mother.
Mommy rary still remembers her newborn sister crying very much, perhaps because she was born with low weight. She has been observed in the sick baby room for more than two weeks, because she can only see the baby during the visit, and she can't hold her often. Her sister is particularly insecure, prone to crying and often wakes her up.
My husband therefore suggested, "Do you want one to sleep with my mother?" Now it has been rejected by rare mommy! Because she thinks that both children are babies, she can't accept that one of them is not around when sleeping, which is unfair to anyone-if her sister is sent, it's like she didn't make a mistake, but she is forced not to sleep with her parents; If it's from my sister, my mother will feel more guilty. She didn't give her enough weight to suffer in the sick nursery. She finally returned to her mother, but she was sent away.
Rarity's mother said that many people may think these ideas are too redundant, but for her, as a mother, she has been growing up in Shuang Bao's belly since birth, and she has been with her for nearly nine months, so she will have a feeling of giving up anyway! Finally, of course, my husband respected rary's mother's opinion and took care of Shuang Bao together, and survived the two or three months when she cried the most.
Q2。 How do you usually breastfeed? After feeding one, change to the next one? Although both * * * and doctors advocate the benefits of breast-feeding, it is difficult for a dozen twin mothers to do so. Gu A Mu mentioned that if you are nursing a baby and another baby starts crying for milk, you can't come out. You can only calm the crying baby when the nursing baby is full and willing to let go.
Drinking "ㄋㄟㄋㄟ" is a major event in a baby's life. How does Shuang Bao's mother usually breastfeed? Can I change it after feeding? What if the breast milk is not enough, and the baby doesn't drink or eat enough?
The bottle is fed in reverse, which is not enough to be supplemented with formula milk.
Elsa's mother said that my breast milk is still sufficient, or it may be because premature babies eat less, and all of them are breast milk until 1 year old. Basically, it takes turns to feed the bottle, but if a person cries, he will be fed first. Later, I learned to feed two babies with two hands at a time!
Wen Yuan's mother will also express her breast milk first, and then feed it with a bottle. After feeding one baby, she will change to another. In the first six months, Shuang Bao will be breast-fed, and then she will drink formula milk slowly.
Feed one baby and coax another baby.
At first, Mommy Rarity planned to breastfeed the whole baby, but due to the lack of milk, she asked the two babies to share equally, one of them had a breast milk meal, and the rest were supplemented with formula milk powder. If two babies cry together, first hold one baby to your side and coax the other baby while nursing.
Unless someone can help take care of one baby, Gu A Mu will consider feeding another baby. Otherwise, in a dozen times, Goo A Mu will try to feed "ㄋㄟㄟㄟㄟㄟㄟㄟㄟㄟㄟㄟㄟㄟㄟㄟㄟㄟㄟ" with a bottle.
Maggie's mother's Shuang Bao is full formula milk powder, and it is also a baby after feeding. But Mommy Nini was fed by two babies, one drinking. At present, there is no shortage of drinking.
Q3。 Do two babies have to have the same schedule? If you only take care of a baby, parents will be free when the baby falls asleep! But now it's Shuang Bao. What should we do if one wants to sleep and the other doesn't? When one baby wants to sleep, does the other baby have to sleep together? The two babies have the same schedule. Can parents take care of them?
When Shuang Bao falls asleep, parents can have a rest.
When the schedules of the two babies coincide, the caregivers have time to rest. Therefore, whether they take a nap at noon or sleep at night, Mommy Maggie will hug Shuang Bao to sleep together.
However, the schedules of the two babies are the same, which is just an expectation, because the reality is often the opposite! Wen Yuan's mother said that we can only make the schedules of the two sisters as similar as possible. If the baby who doesn't want to sleep still doesn't sleep, dad will take turns to take care of it than mommy.
Shuang Bao from Elsa's mother's house has slept in the same bed since childhood. They have been sleeping next door since she was over 1 year old. As soon as one of them gets up, she will wake the other one. Therefore, the timetable in Shuang Bao is basically the same. When one person wants to sleep, another person is almost dead.
If it is nap time, one person who wants to sleep will put her to sleep, and another person who doesn't want to sleep will let her continue playing. If it is time to go to bed at night, parents will coax (shake) a person to sleep before the age of 2. After 2 years old, turn off the lights when it's time to go to bed, sleep if you want, and sleep if you don't want (if you don't turn off the lights, you will be crazy and don't sleep). If one person falls asleep first, another person will talk to himself until he falls asleep.
Play with him if you don't want to sleep, and sleep when you are tired.
Rarity's mother said that three months ago in Shuang Bao-my sister likes to sleep and my sister likes to play, so I let my sister sleep first (it only takes about 10 minutes, what an angel baby! ), and then took my sister out of the room, let her look around, Doby, she, when she is tired, then go back to the room to sleep! Nini's mother's family also put Shuang Bao to sleep in the same way at different times.
Q4。 Will the daily necessities be bought exactly the same? Many twins will wear exactly the same clothes and shoes, holding bottles and nipples of the same paragraph and color. They look so cute! Does Shuang Bao have to wear the same clothes and articles for daily use? Or is it easier to identify the same paragraph in different colors?
Exactly the same → That's fair.
Most of Shuang Bao's clothes in Wen Yuan's mother's house are the same, which is very convenient and saves the time for nurses to think about clothes. Although other items are not completely ready, every time they are inconsistent, it is the beginning of a quarrel. Elsa's mother said that basically, you have to buy two identical things for everything (such as daily necessities, toys and even books). If they are not the same, it will lead to a world war between the two sisters (laughs).
Mommy Baby's daily necessities for Shuang Bao are almost the same (unless there is no way to buy two)! From the beginning of pregnancy, I agreed with my husband that I would only give twins the same thing in the future, for I was afraid that I would misunderstand my parents' partiality in my baby's heart and cause mental damage. Mommy Nini will also provide deliberately consistent items, hoping to achieve fairness.
Different colors in the same paragraph → easy to distinguish and identify.
Goo A Mu will buy clothes of different colors for Shuang Bao, mainly for the convenience of distinguishing Shuang Bao, especially after taking photos. Because there are fewer characters and fewer features, it is difficult to distinguish Shuang Bao in the future. Therefore, the color of clothes or accessories (saliva towel) is usually used for a calm brother, while a naughty and lively brother uses light or fancy colors.
As for daily necessities such as tableware, cups, toothbrushes, etc. Gu and Maggie's mother will specially provide different colors for them to distinguish adults from babies, thus helping to cultivate the concept of using their own sanitary products.
Q5。 What are the other difficulties in caring for twins? When asked about the hard work of taking care of twins, Mommy rary shouted: "There is no time to rest! It takes only 40 minutes for a baby to soak, drink and burp, and it takes about 10 minutes to 1 hour (depending on the baby's personality) to get him to sleep until he is full, while it takes twice as long for two babies. After falling asleep, they still have bottles to wash, and if they spit milk, they have to wash towels. After these things are finished, they are likely to arrive again.
Apart from the serious shortage of rest time, what are the hardships of taking care of twins?
Being sick must be the same!
Shuang Bao must get sick together, with a maximum difference of 1 ~ 2 days! Elsa's mother said that the two babies stick together. They love to bite and drool, so every time they want to be isolated, they fail. To make matters worse, even adults will win prizes together. Wen Yuan's mother said that often one baby has a fever and the other baby has a fever, so adults have no time to relax their vigilance!
The childcare fee comes twice at a time!
As the baby was born and lived in the confinement center, the twins had to pay extra. Two babies drink formula milk together, and a can of milk powder is finished in three days, which costs 6000 yuan a month. The bottle needs another preparation 10 jump. Elsa's mother said with a smile, it is easy to accumulate among members of the pharmacy.
Gu A Mu said that there are many things in daily necessities that need to be bought two at a time. There is no way to use small ones for large ones, so the cost will be very expensive. There is also a child-rearing fee, and two babies at a time is also a burden. Public ones are not easy to win, and private ones are too heavy at once.
Scarcity Mom said that the cost of Shuang Bao is of course quite huge. There are two safety seats, two two-person carts, and two backpacks. There are sterilizers, milking machines, bottles and heaters and countless other supplies. When the twins were born, they spent about100000 yuan, excluding diapers and milk powder.
At first, Elsa's mother hired a nanny to help at home from 9 am to 4 pm, but only the nanny fee was 1 yuan, and she couldn't run away from 25,000 to 40,000 yuan. Although it sounds very economical for the baby to drink breast milk at first, because it is bottle-fed, there will be the cost of milking machine, the cost of breast milk fresh-keeping bag (a bag of 8 ~ 10 yuan, 7 ~ 8 times a day, about 2000 yuan a month), and the premature baby will have to buy breast milk and add formula milk powder, which will also cost about 8000 yuan.
If you count diapers (NB saves 4 ~ 5 yuan, 8 ~ 10 diapers a day, and two people use 600 diapers a month), the monthly expenses of twins are just equal to the minimum wages of two workers. These have not talked about the expenses related to the baby's toys, books, clothes, various cleaning consumables, lotions and baby protection props.
I can't handle one at a time, more than two! 1+1"2 sweet & hard part b, enlightenment education In addition to basic eating, drinking and sleeping, must the schedules of the two babies be the same? Buy two copies of things at home, or let the children learn to share one? Speaking of kindergarten, should Shuang Bao be in the same class or in a different class? These parenting problems are all encountered by twin parents!
Q 1。 What should I do if something happens in Shuang Bao at the same time? The most common situation for babies is crying. One baby cries, and the other seems to cry easily? If twin babies cry at the same time, which baby's mood will dad deal with first or how?
Hold the trolley to calm down.
Yongqing and Yongqing almost cried three months ago, and the other party also cried. However, with the growth of age, we seldom cry together now. But if they cry at the same time, Mommy Baby will first carry them to the stroller, look around the stroller, and push the vibration of the stroller, just like being carried around, so that Shuang Bao can almost stop crying.
Calm the crying baby first.
When Shuang Bao cries, without knowing what happened, Maggie's mother will calm the crying baby first, and usually the other baby will calm down. If you know the situation, decide which baby to deal with first according to the priorities.
Understand the situation and then propose a solution.
In infancy, Fanta and Sprite often cried together, and they cried all the time. Novice mom Wen Yuan Mommy really has nothing to do, so she can only give a pacifier and a hug. When Wen Yuan's mother is a little older, she will try to understand this situation. If she grabs toys, she will calm down first, and then communicate and play together or in turn.
At first, Wen Yuan's mother just asked the baby who didn't cry to let him cry to stop him from crying. But then I found that those who don't cry should always be polite, which seems to be wrong. Later, this practice was changed-after understanding the situation, the children put forward their own solutions.
Father is more cunning than mother.
At first, Toto and Nai Nai didn't say who was better than their father and mother. But after two years old, because Toto slept there, it became Toto looking for his father and Nai Nai looking for his mother. At present, when the two of them cry together in Lu Lu badminton (watching TV, clamoring for different stories, and not eating enough food), Elsa's mother will let them cry and come back, because usually, when these things happen, dad will be more present than mom, and they can always pee together.
Divert one's attention and ease one's mood
When Shuang Bao, played by Gu, grabs toys, whether he is hungry or sleepy, he will cry with him. Otherwise, when Shuang Bao sleeps, one person suddenly wakes up and wakes up another person, and both of them will cry together. When crying at the same time, Gu will try to divert their attention (such as giving them toys or taking them to another room to make them feel fresh), first to ease their emotions, and then to appease the crying baby.
Q2。 Are you worried about being partial to twins? In the face of twins, people can easily compare them, even dad is no exception. Are parents with Shuang Bao worried about favoritism? How to deal with the quirks between Shuang Bao?
Deal with things without taking sides.
Yuan Wen's mother thinks she is unbiased, and she is worried that her children will be misunderstood by her daily upbringing. Therefore, she will try her best to be fair, not compare with others, and will not take sides or cry when dealing with things (crying won't win).
Almost everything is divided into two halves.
Elsa's mother was very afraid of being partial, or she felt that she was partial to her parents no matter what they did. For example, many people insist on her father's ratio now, but Nai Nai can't insist on her father's ratio, so she is worried that Nai Nai will think her father's ratio is odd. But there is no point in worrying. You can only tell them repeatedly every time you hug them that mom loves you and dad loves you.
Mother Elsa also thinks that fairness is very important for children, so almost everything is distributed equally. My sister played once, and so will my sister. My sister will take a bite, so I hope both children can know that they are equally important.
Simply observe the differences between twins.
For Gu A Mu, she is a hard-won child. She doesn't want to take sides, and she doesn't want them to think who her mother likes better. Therefore, although it is often impossible to take care of two babies at the same time, Gu A Mu will accompany or hug them when they need it, so that they can feel their mother's love.
Gu hopes that he can simply look at this matter with a "difference" mentality (who is calmer and more lively) and take these differences as a reference for healthy growth (my brother will turn over and my brother should turn over soon), instead of looking at this matter in a "positive and negative" way (who is worse and who is better).
Gu A Mu will try not to let the twins have the idea of comparing who is better or whose mother loves more ... After all, everyone is a unique individual and should not be compared.
Try your best to love without any difference.
Treating two children fairly is the mother's greatest concern! For the love and dedication of Yongqing and Yongqing, do your best to make them no different. On the other hand, the arrangement of activities and outings during holidays can make children feel joy and love and leave common memories. On the other hand, it can satisfy their parents' love of travel a little.
Q3。 Do I have to buy two children's products? As mentioned above, raising twins costs twice as much as raising twins. It seems that one person must have one copy of some things, but it seems that only one copy can be bought for two people to take turns or use together. Do you want to buy two children's things or share them with two people?
Type 1, two people have one each.
For children aged 65,438 +0 and 2, sharing is a difficult concept to understand. Elsa's mother said that, if the financial capacity allows, two people each have a share of food, use and play. They will try to teach their children the concepts of "taking turns" and "waiting", but every time they say they want to be "open" (Taiwan Province people), they will eventually fight and cry, so they still buy two at a time to make their ears quiet.
The second category. Buy 2 daily necessities and only 1 toy.
The twins of Rare Mummy and Wen Yuan Mummy will buy 2 daily necessities, but only 1 toy. Apart from the fact that toys are easy to get hot after 3 minutes, they will stop playing at once. They will spend the same money to buy two kinds of toys, so that children can establish the concept of sharing and play more kinds of toys.
Mommy Maggie usually only buys a toy for her children to play with. If there is a quarrel, she will put away the toys, and the children will know that the toys are not their own and how to queue up or play together in turn.
If this is a toy that Shuang Bao likes very much, Gu A Mu will consider buying two copies, so it is unlikely that he will always compete for toys. However, if it is a high-priced or large toy, it will only buy one copy, so as to give Shuang Bao a chance to learn to share toys.
Q4。 When you were in kindergarten, were you divided into classes or not? Twins who grew up together will inevitably depend on each other, and others will often have a comparative attitude when they see twins. Should they be divided into classes or not when they attend kindergarten? What are the considerations?
Similar → reduce strangeness
At present, Fanta, who is over 4 years old, and Sprite are in the same class in kindergarten. Wen Yuan's mother's consideration is that there is only one class in this kindergarten. Secondly, Shuang Bao is young and unfamiliar with the environment, so she will be divided into classes when studying in China in the future to avoid interdependence.
Mama Maggie, Mama Goo A Mu and Mama Nini all hope that Shuang Bao will stay in the same class first, and have a familiar companion to accompany and take care of each other, so as to reduce the strangeness to the new environment and facilitate the connection between kindergartens.
Classify → Reduce comparison
Mother Elsa thinks that twins have the psychology of keeping up with the joneses. She is worried that they are under too much pressure in the same class, so she tends to be in different classes. But if they are in different schools, they are afraid that they will ask why they study differently, and they are afraid that Shuang Bao will find each other (they are super attached to each other at present), so they should choose the same school but different classes in order to have an independent life circle and try not to be compared.
"Rare Mother" said that when daughters reach the age of kindergarten, they will respect their wishes, and they will also evaluate how they get along with each other to decide whether the kindergarten is in the same class or in different classes. However, the mommy in Rarity personally prefers to be in different classes, because she is in the same class and is a twin, and she is worried that the less outstanding children may get hurt. I hope children have their own development space. If they attend different classes, they can also share what they have learned in their own classes, which is also good for children.
Q5。 Do you still want twins if you can choose? After reading the twin life care and parenting experience shared by six mothers, do you still want to know if you can choose, do you still want to enjoy the sweetness and happiness of having twins at home?
With twins, life is more exciting!
Mommy Wen Yuan: "It's difficult to take care of twins in the first two years, but it's easier to cook with more non-staple food." In the stages of sitting, climbing, standing and walking. Learn from each other, imitate each other and grow and progress together. When children grow up and watch them play together and take care of each other, they will know that it is good to have company, and it is better to have a partner of their own age! Because of twins, my life is more exciting and rich! 」
If I had to choose again, I would rather bear double the hard work.
Mother Elsa: "Even if I am pregnant for 8 months, I spend half my time in bed. Even if I am exhausted from milking every day and have no sleep, even if I have to wake up more than a dozen times in the middle of the night every day, if I have to choose again, I am willing to bear twice the hard work!" Because there are also double smiles, double cuteness, double sweetness and double happiness.
Both men and women in Shuang Bao have become "museums".
Gu A Mu: "If I had a choice, I would definitely choose twins. There are men and women in my family, which makes me a "good" word. However, now that Shuang Bao is a male, this family can only be turned into a mosquito house, where "corpses" are kept (laughs).
Cherish this sweet double burden
Mummy rarity: "Although people often say that it is very tiring to take care of two children, looking at their lovely appearance may be the sweetest burden given to us by God, and we cherish it very much!" " ! 」
It's worthwhile to work twice as hard!
Maggie's mother: "It's interesting to watch two children grow up at the same time. Although it takes twice the effort, it's worth it! 」
The joy of growing up is more than doubled.
Mommy Nini: "The growth process of two children will be more interesting than that of one child. Watching two children grow up, learn from each other and influence each other, although it is hard to raise children, the happiness of children's growth is more than doubled. 」
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