I finally watched the famous "The Life of the Disliked Matsuko". I have seen the shadow of this movie in many parenting articles before, most of which used Matsuko's miserable life to illustrate the unconditional support of parents. The importance of love.

After I watched this movie seriously, a question lingered in my mind. Did Songzi's tragic life really stem from the lack of father's love?

If this is the case, then Songzi’s tragic life should not be an exception, but the norm.

Unconditional love is a scarce resource in any era, and there are definitely only a few parents who can give it. Treat children as independent individuals, treat them with equality and respect, and irrigate their lives with love. This concept was born only in the past hundred years. Before that, China was a long feudal society and Europe was dark. The most common feature of the Middle Ages was that children were regarded as a piece of property. The culture of Southeast Asia is very similar. China has the Three Cardinal Guidelines and Five Constant Rules, and Japan is not much better. In this ethical system, the relationship between parents and children is rigid. The specific manifestation is that the father is always very strict and difficult to get close to. Just like Jia Zheng in "A Dream of Red Mansions", he disciplines his children whenever he sees them, never smiling, and euphemistically calls them "Strict Father".

Although feudal society has ended, the "strict father" mentality has always existed, and it is more serious in rural areas than in cities, and at the bottom of society than at the top. I remember watching TV when I was a child. There were scenes of fathers hugging their daughters. Usually it was the fathers in the city who hugged the daughters in the city. The fathers in the countryside seemed much more dull. I don’t know whether it was because their love was deeply hidden or because they lacked it. In short, they Rarely express love for children. When it comes to the lack of love and father's love, there are many people who are much worse off than Songzi, but not everyone is broken.

So where does Songzi’s tragedy come from? Three views. Songzi's outlook on life, worldview, and values ??all revolve around men. Life without men is meaningless to her. All her efforts are to get the love of a man, just a man. As for whether it is love or not, it is not that important, as long as the man is willing to be with her.

She is so greedy for men that she is willing to devote herself wholeheartedly to any man who is interested in her and become a rib to this man. She will do whatever the man asks her to do. Whether you want it or not, like it or not. All these outrageous efforts, as long as she can get cheap "togetherness", she thinks it is worth it.

In her opinion, a person's life is hell. She can't be alone and has to hook up with a man to feel better. This is her greatest sorrow.

The sign of a person’s independence is the ability to be alone and enjoy being alone. People who have never enjoyed being alone are not good enough in life. Songzi is not an independent person. Her so-called love is not true love, but a desperate struggle to avoid loneliness. She is a person who is extremely lacking in her heart. She cannot feel her own existence. How can such a person give love to others?

Songzi’s outlook on men as a career should be the product of long-term influence from society, family, and school. This is not uncommon in Japan. Many Japanese women become full-time housewives after getting married. Although Japan's laws are sound and the rights of full-time women can be protected, in short, this is a backward concept. The age when pine nuts grew up should be the 1950s and 1960s. Although Japan was economically developed at that time, its ideas were not open-minded. During the period when Songzi's three views were taking shape, they accepted the concept that women should make men their careers.

Without men, women will be worthless. This is the real reason why Songzi has fallen. As long as Songzi has a hobby and a little ambition, she will not degenerate into being a prostitute or living in a garbage dump. She put on makeup, dressed up, and worked out all to find a man. When she was completely disappointed with the man, she stopped taking care of herself and became fat and lame. The house was full of black plastic bags filled with garbage. Why can't she take care of her life for herself? In her opinion, it is natural for a woman to please herself.

God has dealt her better cards than most people. She has a good family background, good looks and figure, and can sing. As long as she pays a little attention to her work, she can improve her work and life. If you take care of yourself well, meet the right man, and fall in love calmly, you will be the envy of many people. And based on her conditions, how could any down-and-out writer, gangster, or hairdresser be attracted to her? She has played a good deck of cards to pieces all her life, and the fundamental reason is that she has lost herself.

She is like a cold moon, unable to emit or generate heat. She can only rely on a little reflection of the sun to emit some light, and the sun she relies on for survival is those unreliable scum. Man, how long can her light and heat last? Darkness is the inevitable outcome, because that is her true nature. Rather than saying that she is giving love, it is better to say that she is crazily asking for love.

How can a person who is crazy about asking for things get the respect of others? He is destined to be disliked by others. Songzi's tragic life is not the product of lack of love, but the product of distorted views.

What is shocking is that at the end of the film, Song Nu is transformed into a virgin. I can see the screenwriter’s ulterior motives. She is obviously a woman with distorted views. In order to get a little warmth, she obeys the man's words and finally destroys herself. However, she is beautified into love and dedication. Is this for future generations to imitate? He also used the Bible as an example, saying that "God is love" and "the value of a person is not what he gets, but what he gives."

This kind of poisonous chicken soup should stop.

How can a person who has lost himself have the right to love others?