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Eating is a game of life and death, as we say when drinking.

If you have left school and entered society for a few years, then whether you are a naturally rich second generation or a young loser who needs to struggle in various ways, you may agree with this sentence: life is actually a variety of things. bureau. And the dinner party is the most lively one among them. Chinese people have very complicated feelings about eating. Qian Zhongshu once said that eating is sometimes like getting married. The most important thing in name is often an accessory. Of course we should understand dialectically, that is to say, not all meals are "more than just eating" - indeed, some are really aimed at filling our stomachs and enjoying the food - but more often than not, we still regard eating or attending a banquet as a Treat with activities.

Friends who haven’t seen each other for a long time, let’s have a meal; thank you for helping me, let’s have a meal; 10-year classmates’ reunion, let’s have a meal; marriageable men and women meet for the first time, let’s have a meal; If you need to finish talking about a certain order, let's have a meal...

Some dinner parties are particularly secular. Either there is something to be settled at the wine table, or everyone wants to express their own sense of existence. . This kind of meal requires both the digestive system and the brain to work hard, which may make you sweat.

Cheng Yumeng, the heroine written by Bao Jingjing in "Travel Notes, or Guides", became a food columnist. She chose a high-end restaurant for her high school reunion dinner and showed off all her tortellini. After eating the calories of carne, pasta and dry sausage, and earning a lot of sweaty admiration, he waved his hand to hail a Buick, "Hey, the magazine provided it, it's really troublesome!" Then he rode into the world in the eyes of everyone's admiration. left, leaving a group of Shanxi fellows who had not bitten the pasta to meet at a hot pot restaurant to renew...

This approach is too cool - if the writer did not say to the driver "500 an hour" after getting on the bus, Right? I'll rent it here, you can find a subway station and let me go." The joke is ironic because each of us is familiar with this kind of dinner. It can be as big as a Buick car, or as small as dressing up for a dinner or buying a box of high-end cigarettes and taking them out accidentally, or toasting one, two, three, four in order during the dinner, these all need to be planned in advance, and eating is obviously a priority. Reached the last position.

So eating is just the starting point, gathering is the purpose, and how to interact after getting together is the truth. The class reunion is a PK of circumstances; the customer bureau is a liaison to sign a relationship; a blind date dinner is a test of each other; when having a meal with the mother-in-law, you have to make bold assumptions and be careful to verify them.

Of course, there are also some dinner parties that can reflect the true love in the world, such as an appointment at a roadside kebab stall. Everyone drank a few glasses of beer, the evening breeze was blowing, and the moonlight was bright. It made people want to tear off the stereotyped masks of the day and talk to each other, just like the Japanese people always like to drink in an izakaya after get off work until they burst into tears. . Although eating here is not the main character, without the catalytic effect of the hazy and gentle smoke of the skewers and the beer, and without a bunch of people crowded together, it would not be so easy to break the knot.

No matter what, dinner parties happen every day, sometimes for work, sometimes because of loneliness. We act out, escape, and talk at dinner parties, making this recurring activity of replenishing protein and carbohydrates colorful. Sometimes gossip circulates between these meals, and many times we finish everything in one meal. We didn’t stay, but we still rushed to the next game.

This is how a human dinner party should be

The most pretentious: Literary and Art Bureau

Artists are so corrupt that even gangsters can’t stop them. Literary and artistic people have a long history of gathering together for meals. People with split personalities like Li Bai can even toast to the bright moon, make three people in front of each other, and have a meal by themselves... And the theme of this kind of dinner is nothing more than "life in the world" "The best is like water" and Feng Tang wrote: "One time at a dinner, a girl came with him, her hair and face were black and white." And the circles are full of circles, and the most rewarding thing in a night is probably the jokes.

The most difficult thing: starting a cold buffet

Although the ingredients of the buffet are not that heavy, the cold buffet is more elegant and dignified than the Chinese buffet and saves costs. It is also more popular now. The ideal situation is that entrepreneurs and investors are holding champagne on the top of a skyscraper, pointing out the situation, and smiling at each other; in reality, entrepreneurs see investors coming from a distance, and quickly and laboriously serve a sandwich with orange juice. , ran over energetically and introduced himself for the hundredth time.

The most meaningful: Alumni Association Bureau

It is a cosplay show using high-end cigarettes, designer bags and high-end cars as props, and everyone is playing the role of superego. You may not have any utilitarian intentions when you go there, and you may want to correct this evil trend, but suddenly your brain and ears get hot when you listen to everyone blowing, and it seems that you will be forgotten if you don't say anything, so you pretend to be open-minded. Di Yixiao joined.

The most dangerous: Dangerous meal

Either a meeting with a specific enemy, such as a mother-in-law or a lover preparing for a showdown, or a sacred mission that must be fulfilled. At this time, you have to bring out the spirit of going to the Hongmen Banquet and arm yourself from the stomach to the soul. For example, it was exposed after the Olympics that an official of a provincial sports bureau actually died in the line of duty while trying to win the qualifications for the competition - this is a case of A game that requires life to participate in.

The most bizarre dinner party: Stranger Game

There are always some inexplicable dinner parties. Either everyone does not know each other, or everyone seems to know each other but you are strangers. If you have a little bit of interpersonal disorder, your situation will be like a vacuum standing among the bright lights: Who am I? What should I do? Let’s eat more.

The most bleak thing: Playing on mobile phones

Everyone is holding their mobile phones and sliding their fingers slowly, with dull expressions on their faces. In fact, the inner drama is very rich. Otherwise, the people present are having a lively interaction with each other on Weibo. As long as the photos they post are good-looking, who cares whether the atmosphere is cold or not, others can’t see it; the other way is It's really unworldly. Everyone really doesn't want to talk to the person in front of them, so it's better to leave as soon as possible.

The least cost-effective: wedding banquet

One of the larger dinner banquets will usually give you a complex situation of three parts being wonderful, two parts boring and five parts not wanting to pay for it. mentality. Due to diminishing marginal costs, wedding companies have mass-produced a large number of wedding parties with the same procedures. All of them are white wedding dresses and red cheongsams shuttled between the wine tables, which will make people suddenly confused about whose wedding they are at.

The most preoccupied one: the business bureau

To put it bluntly, it is a bureau set up to win a certain order. You wish I could sign it now. Although I know that the food is not free, I am also thinking about how to change myself from passive to active.

The topics are always the same

How much money do you make

Whether it’s a colleague or a stranger who meets by chance, they always want to know how much money you make... Of course, this is more likely to happen in a relationship where you have had an affair. Old classmates and former colleagues will always ask you, "How much do you have to pay in monthly tax?" or "It takes less than half a month to buy a 4S." Salary?" At this time, just show an expression of "?" innocently and richly.

How are you doing?

Except for salary, all issues related to the quality of life, such as did you win the lottery? What grade of oil did you add? Is your home connected to the subway? If your parents come to Beijing, will your home be enough to live in? Where do you usually go to eat and shop? What does your girlfriend’s house do? Asking this obscure question can almost turn the answers into a human body map, from which your childhood background and growth history can be analyzed...

Life Planning

You always have to be grateful to someone The "love" of the dinner participants is willing to plan your life for you. They generally appear as gentle elders, but your major, career, and love life must be in line with their values, otherwise you will hear the sincere words "You can't do this, young man" under the influence of alcohol. His face is full of autumn, your eyes are full of spring, and there is a whole summer of passionate and hard work in between. Forget it, let's have a drink.

Other people’s gossip

Gossip is the glue of society...especially gossip about people you know and know, it has a thrilling feeling of unveiling the veil of the people around you. It is an important step in cultivating the team, testing the team, and cultivating a sense of collective honor. At least among girls, being able to speak ill of others together is a clear proof of friendship - in this world, who can guarantee not to be betrayed? But I still gossip with you, don’t let down the sincere people.

dining table Zhihu

Three hundred and sixty lines, there is knowledge in every line. Chatting with a bunch of people who are fueled by alcohol, you can always hear some insider information about the industry, which company has undergone personnel changes, which investor made the most unforgivable investment, why did the big boss of JD.com want to engage in a fire merger? When I was so excited, I wanted to take out a small notebook and write it down so that I could use it at the next dinner.

Truth or Dare at the Dinner Table

It is more interesting to talk about the secret history of Wu Zetian without telling each other silly stories about first love. This is why games such as Truth or Dare are so popular. . Although there are some people who can struggle with issues of outlook on life and values ??in such an unorthodox game...

Rules for behaving at dinner parties

Decent Nobody rules

If you agree If you are an insignificant person, then you can smoke, drink, and eat vegetables. When someone speaks, just keep nodding while doing the first three items. Remember, eating food is a serious matter and you will get your money back.

Rules for the decent soul person

If you are the soul person at this dinner party, and this matter is not caused by you but is recognized by everyone, then please be more emotional. Well, everyone is pretending to be waiting to hear it. It's a crime to be silent. Remember, you will hardly be full after this meal, so please prepare a backup meal.

Not a particularly decent Nobody code

Being too lively, such as pouring wine everywhere and boldly shouting "Done it!", although this may be a way of self-protection This way, because no one dares to challenge you if you do this; or behave like other lively people at a dinner party where you feel more 2.

Not a particularly decent soul person rule

Take the dinner in the direction of 2 and never return... If you want to be the soul of this type of dinner, isn't that a core 2B?

Particularly inappropriate Nobody rule

Extracting from the group, such as playing games or eating all the time. In addition, if you are not a gangster, it is better not to destroy the harmony of the dinner party easily. For example, when everyone gossips about the entertainment industry, you must emphasize that your idol is pure and pure, with both virtue and art, and you are not allowed to slander her.

Particularly inappropriate rules for soul figures

Although the driving system is very developed now, please don’t forget about the existence of this meal because of it...