Couplets about quarreling 1, two pigs and one trough
There was a scholar in the Jin Dynasty who thought he could write poems and articles well and often joked with others. One day, when he was having dinner with his friends, he saw a woman leading two children through the door and sneered:
One sheep attracts two lambs.
The woman stared his one eye, and sure enough:
Two pigs and a trough.
It is difficult to find a bachelor.
Legend has it that there was once a poor scholar who could not afford a daughter-in-law and lived alone, but he was strong-willed and liked to fight against injustice. He often wrote a complaint for the aggrieved person, which was hated by the gentry. Once, someone falsely accused a poor scholar, and the county magistrate arrested him and made a pair. The time was limited to one to ten, otherwise it would be dealt with severely. The first part of the county magistrate is:
Yunsuo Mountain, which peak dares to come out?
The words sound just fell and the poor scholar without thinking, then to the bottom allied way:
It is difficult to get this bachelor!
Say that finish, turn around and leave. The county magistrate was dumbfounded.
Step 3 perfect
Once upon a time, a businessman was buried together after his parents died. Because he didn't know the rules, he buried his father in the west and his mother in the east by mistake. Later, after being reminded, the merchant decided to correct it, but it was not easy to move the grave, so he set up two stone pillars in front of the grave and prepared to ask someone to write couplets on them for correction. All the local China scholars were invited, but they refused to say no.
Finally, please invite a Jinshi. Jinshi said with a smile, then try it. ? Wrote a scribble:
Never left.
Why do you want to divide things after death?
People who used to read this couplet called it good.
4. Monk bones and Dongpo corpses
One night, Su Dongpo and his friend Fo Yin went boating on the river. Suddenly, Su Shi pointed to the left bank and then to Fo Yin, smiling without a word. Fo Yin looked around and saw a yellow dog gnawing at a bone. He realized something and threw the cattail leaf fan with Su Dongpo's poem in his hand into the water. Two people four eyes relative, can't help laughing. It turns out that this is a dumb couplet.
Su Shi: Dogs gnaw at bones by the river (monks)
Fo Yin: Bodies Flowing East (Poem)
5. Bamboo? Short? Bamboo? Nothing?
Xie Jin, a bachelor of Hanlin in Ming Dynasty, was born in a poor family and lived in the bamboo garden of Cao Shangshu's house. He wrote a couplet on his own door:
Bambusa door to door
Jia Zang thousands of books
Cao Shangshu was very unhappy after seeing it. He thought: Can my bamboo garden be borrowed by others? So a famous family member cut down a bamboo. Xie Jin added two words to the couplet after seeing it:
The door is as short as a thousand bamboo poles.
Jia Cang Qian Shu Chang
Cao Shangshu was even more angry after reading it, and ordered his family to cut all the bamboos in the garden. After Xie Jin saw it, he added a sentence below the couplet:
This door is short of bamboo.
This family owns thousands of books.
Cao Shangshu is finally at the end of his rope.
6. There is something wrong with the beast
Jie Jin is an honest official. Some powerful people planned a banquet and fooled Jie Jin on the spot. At the meeting, a noble said to Jie Jin. There is an old saying, I haven't thought about it for a long time. I don't know if I can enlighten this noble person, so I read out the prepared part:
Two apes cut down trees in the deep mountains. How dare the little monkey saw them?
As soon as he finished reading, a group of assistants immediately exclaimed and laughed at Jie Jin. I didn't expect Jie Jin to say calmly? With all due respect. , and then to the bottom line:
The horse is stuck in the mud, how can the old beast run out of its hoof?
The dignitaries were dumbfounded and left in succession.
7. If you don't sing, it will be a blockbuster.
According to legend, the words of Wang Xizhi, a great calligrapher in the Eastern Jin Dynasty, are often regarded as Mo Bao's treasures, and even the Spring Festival couplets posted in front of their homes are inevitable.
One Spring Festival, he moved into a new house. Thinking that no one around him knew, he posted the first Spring Festival couplets excitedly. Spring rain, spring breeze, spring scenery; New year, new year, new year? I didn't expect it to disappear just after I posted it. He posted the second couplet:? Ti Ying Beili; Southern suburbs of Yan language. ? It was also discovered. Wang Xizhi smiled, had a plan, and posted a third:
When it rains, it pours/Misfortunes never come singly
Felicity never paired off.
This time, no one revealed. However, when people passed the Wangs on the first day, they saw that the couplets were added by Wang Xizhi at dawn and became:
It never rains but it pours.
Happiness has not doubled until now.
When everyone saw it, they all nodded in praise.
8. Don't be disappointed
On his 80th birthday, an old man bought very expensive paper and asked the writer Liu to write a birthday couplet. Liu listened and asked? When was he born? The old man smiled. November eleventh. ? Liu wrote on the paper:
November 11
The old man could not help secretly complaining, but did not dare to make any noise. Liu asked the old man how old he was, and the old man replied. Exactly 80 years old. ? So Liu went on to write the bottom line:
Eighty spring and eighty autumn.
9. You'd better go early
In the Qing dynasty, a big official was transferred to another province to take charge, extorted money, pocketed it, and scraped off all the fat and cream of the people. Someone wrote a joint gift:
Leave a day early, and every day has eyes.
Leave this place without skin.
10, women become mothers
Once upon a time, there was a son who often liked to play tricks on others after reading a few books. One day, when he went out to play, he saw a young woman scouring rice on a wooden bridge near the water, so he came up with a pair of couplets to flirt with:
If there is wood, it will be a bridge. If there were no wood, I would miss Joe. If I go to Mujia to meet a girl, I will be charming. Gillian will avoid me. I love Gillian best.
After listening to this, the young woman felt disgusted, wanted to think, and gave a pair of couplets:
If there is rice, there is food, but if there is no rice, it is good. You go to dinner and add a woman, and you will become a mother. Although I love my son, my son is not filial to my mother.
The scholar wanted to take advantage, was humiliated by the young woman, and asked for it.
1 1, Mr. coarse-haired beast
A writer in Qing Dynasty was clever and studious since childhood, but his private school teacher, Mr. Shi, was very conservative and disliked him very much.
Ji Xiaolan feeds a sparrow. One day, he put the well-fed domestic bird into a hole dug in the brick wall and blocked it with bricks to prevent it from flying away. This incident was discovered by Mr. Shi, who threw the house finch to death and put it back in the hole in the wall, and blocked it with bricks. Played another book on the wall:
The fine-feathered bird died behind the brick.
Ji Xiaolan was very angry when he found out. When he saw the first part, he wrote the second part on the wall:
Mr. Si Tong, coarse-haired beast
Teacher Shi was very angry when he saw it, and asked Ji Xiaolan not to insult the teacher. Ji Xiaolan said? You taught me to be neat, and I didn't say a word right.
12, Laotse of Shutongcheng
Once upon a time, there was a scholar who was arrogant and was called a madman. One day, the crazy scholar passed by a school gate and saw a group of pupils discussing the problem, so he gave a pair to tease the pupils. He asked in an ostentatious manner:
Rice, millet, millet, these bastards, which one is Mr.
This is clearly scolding the school children, who are at a loss and have nothing to say. Soon a boy came up and unhurriedly replied:
Poetry and calligraphy are easy to learn, and many of them are serious, so why ask Lao Tzu!
The students all laughed. The crazy scholar was ashamed and walked away in disgrace.
13, Mr. Die First
A teacher tickled in the sun and saw the students passing by, so she sent a couplet asking the students:
Grab, grab, grab, grab, grab, grab, grab, grab, grab, grab, grab, grab.
Knowing that the teacher deliberately stumped the problem, the students were anxious and said, Teacher, aren't you worried about me? When Mr. Wang saw that he was not worthy, he said, then die. I'll be happy when you die. ? As soon as Teacher Wang's words were finished, some students made the bottom line:
Life, death, death, life, death, death, death, death, death, death, sir.
14, manure should also be taxed.
Guo Moruo 14 years old left home to study in Leshan. When he entered the city, he saw the gatekeeper, the chief, extorting money from the people and donating a copper coin for a load of dung. Aroused the anger in the hearts of young people, and wrote a couplet that satirized and exposed the two:
There has been no dung tax since ancient times.
Now I don't donate anything but fart.
Funny couplets: Say yes; In a word: you say no, you can't do it, and you can't do it; Horizontal criticism: I can't accept it
Part One: Recalling the past, Redmi, pumpkin soup, a wife and a group of children. Part two: Look at the present, white rice, turtle soup, a child and a bunch of wives. Horizontal batch: keep pace with the times
The first part: it is difficult to love and be loved, the second part: love takes time to be doomed; Horizontal criticism: friendship is priceless
The first part: pseudonyms, pseudosurnames, pseudoaddresses, the second part: cheating on eating, cheating on drinking and cheating on feelings; Horizontal approval: those who wish to take the bait
The first part: The wind is blowing and the rain is falling. I am waiting for your call back. Bottom line: live for you, die for you, and wait for you all your life; Horizontal batch: sent to the wrong person.
The first part: the person I love was taken away; Bottom line: people who love me are terrible; Horizontal criticism: Life is hard.
Part One: Fake cigarettes, fake wine and fake friends; Bottom line: false feelings, false feelings, false gentleness; Horizontal batch: money is real.
The first part: the attractive love of bad men; Bottom line: bad women can eat; Horizontal batch: the worse the better!
The first part: boys and girls are poor scholars, endless! Part two: first love, passionate love, extramarital love, reluctant to part! Horizontal criticism: there is no love in life
Shanglian: in order to obtain students, to operate, to earn money; Downstream: eat telecom losses, go to Unicom, and finally die on the move; Horizontal criticism: it is wonderful to change behavior