Since the reform and opening up, more and more people have realized that their relationship is broken and ended their marriage with divorce, but there are still many people who still have some wrong understandings of marriage:
For example, I always think that divorce is bad and wrong, and maintaining marriage is the right choice;
Truth: In fact, many zombie marriages, extremely mom's marriage should have ended long ago.
We always want to see divorced or broken-up people get back together;
Truth: On-off, on-off and on-off, the Cold War constantly consumed each other, leaving only superficial integrity.
We always think that a single-parent family is more harmful to children than a complete family, so we would rather maintain a dead marriage for our children, even without telling them about the divorce;
Truth: children are very sensitive and can capture every moment of us. What children want is real happiness, not pretending. In this process, the harm to children is far greater than that brought by single-parent families.
Just as many friends saw that Big S and Wang Xiaofei officially announced their divorce, they were secretly glad that they still had a complete marriage, even though there was no feeling in this marriage.
But when you are sad about the divorce of Big S, you know that Big S went to an Italian restaurant the night before the divorce was exposed and enjoyed more than 10,000 white truffles alone.
It can be seen that in the heart of Big S, she was happy when she first chose this marriage, and it is also a relief to choose to end this marriage now. As she said, she has no regrets about choosing this marriage.
Just like the first case in the recently aired TV series "Female Psychologist" starring Andy, it is about the female high school student You Na who wants to commit suicide because of the relationship between her classmates at school. Daniel Horton, played by the female host Andy, successfully prevented her from committing suicide again and again.
Through later psychological counseling, it was discovered that You Na didn't choose to commit suicide because of bullying on campus, but because You Na accidentally discovered the secret of his parents' secret divorce and thought that his parents' problems were his own making.
Also found that when she had problems, her parents could work together with Qi Xin, so she repeatedly hurt herself to keep her father.
If You Na's parents can face up to the problems in their marriage and sort them out in time before divorce.
Even if you choose to divorce in the end, you choose to face the problem bravely and face the divorce with your child, so the child will be hurt a lot less.
Having said that, I don't mean to advocate that everyone should get divorced as soon as they encounter problems, but to let everyone find the problems in our marriage as soon as possible, face them bravely and find a solution.
So under what circumstances, we will think of divorce. Today, let's talk about several situations:
First, the personalities of the two sides cannot be reconciled, that is, there are irreconcilable contradictions.
Because husband and wife come from different families, their environment, family background and growth experience are different, which makes their personalities very different.
After entering the family life, after constant debugging and running-in, the two sides still can't resolve it, and even the conflict is getting worse. In this case, ending the marriage is also a good choice.
Second, extramarital affairs or emotional transfer of one party.
Lack of emotional expertise has always been one of the main reasons for divorce.
Some scholars believe that extramarital love is the inevitable result of people being polluted and eroded by the idea of "sexual liberation" in foreign cultures.
Of course, it does not mean that all extramarital affairs should be divorced, but also depends on the type of extramarital affairs and the state of marriage at that time, and must not go to extremes.
Third, domestic violence and cold violence lead to divorce.
Domestic violence is the most dangerous killer in family life. Violence against the other half caused by one-night stand, third party, economic problems and psychopathy is fatal to marriage.
There is also a kind of cold violence that is often overlooked, that is, when the husband and wife have conflicts, one party shows indifference, contempt, indulgence or alienation to the other, such as indifference, minimizing language communication, stopping or perfunctory sex life, etc., which eventually leads to the breakdown of the relationship between husband and wife.
Fourth, there is no emotional foundation before marriage, and there is no development and cultivation of good feelings after marriage.
Love and marriage in modern society are more personal behaviors, which leads to many flash marriages, ranging from days to months from love to marriage.
Such a hasty combination, if not well run-in after marriage, will easily lead to emotional breakdown and eventually have to choose divorce.
Let's talk about these points today, because every relationship and marriage are unique and not limited to these problems. I hope that if you encounter problems, don't sit in the right place easily!
If you can't analyze it well, you can talk to friends or family. If you can't solve it, you can talk to a psychological counselor!