Family PUA refers to the phenomenon of mental control in the family. Many parents will use the banner of "for your own good" to control the life and spirit of their children. Once the child does not satisfy the parents in any way, the parents will They will scold and blame their children, leaving them in a state of fear for a long time.

1. The phenomenon of home-based PUA is very widespread

In China, the phenomenon of home-based PUA is actually very widespread.

Because Chinese education is parent-centered education. As long as parents feel something is wrong, it is wrong. If parents feel right, then it is right. What is this if not mental control? ?

Furthermore, Chinese-style education places great emphasis on filial piety, and believes that being filial to parents is the most important thing. Therefore, even if they are PUA, children will not resist, but will pursue their parents’ mental control even more. , which invisibly strengthens the behavior of parents’ mental control, and also invisibly rationalizes this family-style PUA phenomenon.

2. Should family-based PUA be promoted?

No, the essence of family-style PUA is that parents have nowhere to vent their extremely strong desire for control, so they use their children as a venting channel. Family-style PUA will lead to children’s extreme lack of love, low self-esteem, Being in a state of fear for a long time and evolving into a pleaser personality.

Some children are unable to distinguish the difference between mental control and love, which leads them to fall in love with controlling people. They eventually marry such people and are subjected to domestic violence and mental control throughout their lives, leaving them forever. In the shadow of being controlled.

Family PUA does not make children better, but turns them into people with personality flaws. These flaws will form various barriers in the child's future growth. More importantly, the child will This family-style PUA model is passed on indefinitely, which means that children will perform family-style PUA on their own children, and then the entire family will retain this pathological family-style PUA education.

3. How should we treat family PUA?

We should stay away from this kind of family PUA. If we find that a friend around us has encountered PUA, we should call the police in time and remind our friends to stay away from home. Formula PUA.