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The lines of the program performed by Xiao Shenyang at the Spring Festival Gala
Skit: "Not Bad for Money" (2009 CCTV Spring Festival Gala Program) Created by Cui Kai, etc. Performed by Zhao Benshan, Shen He, Bi Fujian, Wang Jinfeng (Maomao) (On the stage is the backdrop of a restaurant that reads: "Scottish Mood". Uncle Benshan, dressed in a Chinese mountain suit, carrying a bunch of garlic on his back and a pheasant in his hand, pulls Mao Mao onto the stage.) Zhao Benshan: Here we are. MAO MAO: I'm here. Zhao Benshan: This is the most expensive restaurant in Tieling. This is the most expensive restaurant in Tieling, and this is not a Scottish flirtation (tiáo qíng). MAO MAO: Grandpa, you pronounced it the other way around, Scottish qíng diào. Zhao Benshan: Ah, flirting? Just leave it here and eat it. MaoMao: Grandpa, this place is expensive. Zhao Benshan: Expensive? We've got money, more than 30,000 yuan, where's the bag? MaoMao: I don't have a bag. Zhao Benshan: The bag with the money, the yellow bag. MaoMao: It's over, I left it on the bed. ZHAO Benshan: Can you do anything else? I'm doing a job for you and I've left it on the bed. Do you have any money in your pocket? Maomao: How much money do you have in your pocket? Just over 70 yuan. ZHAO Benshan: I still have 400 yuan, that's enough. Momo: That's not enough. ZHAO Benshan: Oops, that's enough. Waiter! (Xiao Shenyang: I'm sorry, but this is a high-class hotel that doesn't accept agricultural products. Zhao Benshan: No, we are eating. Little Shenyang: Oh my God, for dinner? Zhao Benshan: Not like ah? Xiao Shenyang: Not quite. Zhao Benshan: I said the girl ah, this meal is very important. Xiaoshenyang: mama, who do you care who called the girl it, they are pure men. Zhao Benshan: Why so dressed up, but also wearing a skirt. Xiao Shenyang: This is packaged according to our Scottish style. Besides, it is not a skirt ah, this is not seven pants. You see, there are legs oh. Mom, in a hurry to wear run off the side. Mom ah, I said walkway why no crotch it. Zhao Benshan: OK, leave that leg for tomorrow, hahaha. Young man I tell you ah, today I want to invite an important guest to dinner, you must entertain well. Xiao Shenyang: Uh, no problem. Zhao Benshan: Come, come, I ask you, your hotel, if you want to rush head to eat a meal, how much money? Xiaoshenyang: How can you eat a rush? Zhao Benshan: I mean, the most expensive are on point. Xiao Shenyang: one or two million. Zhao Benshan: one, two million? Ah, that's what, there is no such thing, this day finished eating, tomorrow to settle the bill? Xiaoshenyang: playing the white slip ah? Zhao Benshan: No ah, not a white check, not bad money, money. Here. Xiao Shenyang: what does it mean? Zhao Benshan: tip. Xiaoshenyang: OMG, you're so open, you're so handsome. Zhao Benshan: Give a hundred dollars is still handsome. I'm telling you, it's not a freebie. When the guests arrive, you must give me enough face, understand? When I come to order, you have to cover for me. Xiao Shenyang: how to pocket it? Zhao Benshan: both the face to give, but then can not spend ...... I'm going to order some expensive food. I want to order expensive dishes ...... Xiao Shenyang: I'll just say no. Zhao Benshan: Oops, you're too good. Come on, take some. Give you another 30, come on. Xiao Shenyang: I'm with you all clear code oh. Zhao Benshan: Thank you. Xiao Shenyang: Don't worry. Mao Mao: Grandpa, I'm a little hungry. Zhao Benshan: Hungry? Come to the bowl of noodles. Xiao Shenyang: Uh, 78 bowls. Zhao Benshan: What noodles? So expensive. Xiao Shenyang: Scotch brine noodles. Zhao Benshan: is not the brine expensive? Xiao Shenyang: brine do not money. Zhao Benshan: Then come to the bowl of brine, first taste the saltiness. Go, go. Xiaoshenyang: Mom, not so on ah. ZHAO Benshan: That's because I didn't come, I would have come, you would have been so on. Go, go, go. Xiao Shenyang: This old man, I'm going to say that the noodles do not cost money, to noodles you still. Zhao Benshan: Come on, stand up. Tell you, a moment of the Avenue of Stars Mr. Bi came, you must give me a face, okay? This is the best opportunity in life, you know? I've been nurturing you for more than forty years. Mao Mao: Grandpa, how old am I? ZHAO BENSHAN: I've also trained your father for more than 30 years. Your father was a half-baked man, but I trained him to be the head of the cultural station. You must surpass him, are you determined? Mao Mao: Yes. ZHAO Benshan: Show your determination. MaoMao: I designate: the water of Honghu Lake, waves beat waves, the waves of the Yangtze River push forward the waves of the past, one wave is stronger than the other, and my father will be beaten on the beach! Zhao Benshan: aspiring. Xiao Shenyang: Hey, coming. Zhao Benshan: Come on, first drink this brine, this child is hungry. Mao Mao: Grandpa, a little salty. Zhao Benshan: Nothing, give her a whole bowl of water to go. Xiao Shenyang: free water, not? Zhao Benshan: just plain water. Really stingy. (Bi Fu Jian on) Xiao Shenyang: yo, you are not that who, you are that ...... Monked. Zhu Jun? Not Zhu Jun. Bai Yansong? Not. Old Bi ...... Are you Mr. Bi? Bi Fu Jian: My last name is Bi. Xiaoshenyang: Oops my ass, Mr. Bi is here. How did you get out? Aiya my mother, quick people ah, Mr. Bi, a moment to run. Zhao Benshan: What, noisy fire, let the wolf chased what? Xiao Shenyang: Mr. Bi ...... Zhao Benshan: I know, this is the guest I want to invite. Xiao Shenyang: Aiya my mother, Mr. Bi, you give me a picture of it! Zhao Benshan: Wait a minute. Just arrived, right? Bi Fu Jian: Just arrived, just arrived. Zhao Benshan: I've been waiting here for half a day. BI FUJIAN: Hello. Are you ......? Zhao Benshan: Who are you looking for? BIFJIAN: I'm looking for Zhao Tiezhu, the head of the Lotus Township Cultural Station. ZHAO BENSHAN: You're right, this is Zhao Tiezhu's father, I'm ...... MAO MAO: Zhao Tiezhu is my dad. Zhao Benshan: I'm Zhao Tiezhu's dad. You're not looking for a father? Ah no, looking is right. Bi Fujian: Father ...... No, I'm looking for your son. Zhao Benshan: He is waiting for you in the township. Aah, the township set up a grand old ah, township mayor, secretary are there in line waiting for you. The township mayor and secretary are all lined up there waiting for you. A hall is set up, a big room is made after the event, and a big photo is hung in the center for you, surrounded by flowers. BI FUJIAN: Brother, what color are the flowers? ZHAO Benshan: White and yellow. It's very beautiful, really. The people are waiting with pens, crying, waiting for you. BI FUJIAN: Why are you crying? ZHAO BENSHAN: This is not excited, you go. Come on, please ...... BI FUJIAN: Let's go to the countryside. ZHAO BENSHAN: Don't, the township set me up, said the first stop in Tieling to eat a meal, finished on there. You'll see. BiFujian: Eat here? ZHAO Benshan: This is the most expensive place in Tieling, come on. BI FUJIAN: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. ZHAO BENSHAN: I'll do whatever you want, okay? Give you how to arrange you obey, come come. Xiao Shenyang: Mr. Bi, won't you take a picture? Mr. Bi. Bi Fujian: Are you a waiter? Xiao Shenyang: Uh-huh. BiFujian: looks quite euphemistic. Zhao Benshan: I just started to come to the misunderstanding, you say where there is this dress, ah ah mom ah. Sit down, just arrived, right? BI FUJIAN: Just arrived, just arrived. Zhao Benshan: We are hometown. BI FUJIAN: Really? Zhao Benshan: Aren't you from Dalian? BI FUJIAN: Yes, yes, I'm from Dalian. Zhao Benshan: Where do you live? Bifujian: I live in Dalian, Lao Tiewan. ZHAO Benshan: Oh my god, there are relatives, the child her grandfather is also in the old turtle Bay, also surnamed Bi. BFJ: What's your grandpa's name? Mao Mao: Bi Menting. BI FUJIAN: Your grandpa must be a master at playing mahjong. Zhao Fujian: What? BI FUJIAN: Closed door to listen to it. Zhao Benshan: It's just as well that you're called the Closed Door Cannon. Bifujian: My name is Bifujian. Zhao Benshan: This is also yes, no chance are ...... The real ...... Aiya, this smile, you see, how like your grandpa dying that photo. MAO MAO: Grandpa, look, it's more like that without smiling. Bi Fu Jian: I can't hide from you today. ZHAO BENSHAN: In a child's life, if you can't get along with your grandpa, you can get along with your grandpa. She cried her eyes out when Grandpa left. Recognize Grandpa. Mao Mao: Good day, Grandpa. Bi Fujian: Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't. ...... If you want to do this in the New Year, I'll have to give you some money. Zhao Benshan: No, no. Oops, this guy, come ...... Xiao Shenyang: Mr. Bi, you give me a picture of it. Zhao Benshan: This is not eating, you first put it. Order food, quickly. Xiaoshenyang: take a picture of it and then order it. Zhao Benshan: Order and then take a picture. Xiao Shenyang: What if I run away? Zhao Benshan. Who's running away? Mr. Bi are low-profile, you do not talk to people like this. Her grandfather, this are ...... Real relatives, you just point it. Bi Fu Jian: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I'm not sure if you're going to be able to do that, but I'm sure you'll be able to. Zhao Benshan: Now we are all rich, farmers life is not the same as in the past. You can eat as much as you want, how much money can you say you can eat. I'll order. BI FUJIAN: Whatever you want. Zhao Benshan: Australian abalone four. Xiao Shenyang: Sorry, no. BI FUJIAN: Forget it, don't order anything so expensive. You go down. Zhao Benshan: Four pounds of lobster. Xiao Shenyang: Sorry, it's not that big. Zhao Benshan: How big is it? Xiaoshenyang: More than a catty. Zhao Benshan: more than a catty ...... There? Zhao Benshan: There ...... Or no ah? Zhao Benshan: this ...... I tell you, there is no, this is the store you open it, you still do not understand? This is not bad. Xiao Shenyang: Oh ...... That no. Bi Fujian: I'll look at the next, shark's fin is even more don't order. Zhao Benshan: Shark's fin have also don't eat, I eat shark's fin once on the card, and then choked with steamed bread, with vinegar soak, are not good, to the hospital with tweezers to take out. Do not eat that stuff.