Selected humorous jokes of all girls 1,? The girl in the communication said I was strange! What should I do if I grow up with a strange temper and love to complain? ! Don't panic, she is actually implying that you didn't even give her a gift. What did you say?/Sorry? ! As the saying goes, it is not surprising to be polite to many people.
2. When I was sleeping last night, I dreamed of three people I never wanted to see in my life. I was 6 years old, 12 years old, 18 years old, short. Poor Miao.
3. Girlfriend: How do you drink water through a straw? Boyfriend: Yes! Because the doctor told me to stay away from alcohol. My girlfriend is speechless.
4. The girlfriend said:? I won't agree to your proposal. Come to me when you earn100000. ? I replied:? Can I make two thirds first? Oh, that's good! ? I took out a hundred:? Look, this is two thirds, one hundred. ?
5. A girlfriend took her drunken boyfriend to the priest and proposed to him. The priest said:? How can I get married when he is so drunk? Would you please come another day? My girlfriend said sadly, Reverend, if he was not drunk, he would never marry me.
On a cold morning, the girl ushered in her birthday. Suddenly my boyfriend called and said, Look out the window! ? The girl opened the window and saw several steaming big letters written on the snow downstairs: Happy birthday, my love? ..？ Did you write it? The girl was very moved. ? Yeah, it's a pity that I didn't pee enough.
Girlfriend: What do you like about me? Me: Can you not answer? Girlfriend: no Me: Do I have to answer? Girlfriend: Yes! Must answer! Me: You see, I like your seriousness!
8. Two sisters go shopping and discuss their ex-boyfriends. Sister said:? I wonder how he is now. Did you break up with that woman? Sister said indifferently: How can I bear to see them break up? I want to see them get married, quarrel, cold war, mistress, domestic violence,
9. A widow went to buy cucumbers and told her not to slice them, but the cucumber seller forgot to slice them. When the widow saw it, she scolded, You fucking think I'm a piggy bank.
10, a large group of girls went to the farm for internship, and the bishop of the farm milked the milk. After the demonstration, we will teach you to try it yourself. At this time, a girl was puzzled to see that others had squeezed a small part of the tube, and her own was only a little. The farmer came over to have a look and said, Miss, you not only squeezed in the wrong place, but also chose the wrong cow.
The humorous joke of the whole girl is 1. As soon as I went to the street, I met a mother educating her daughter. Honey, you have to take the crosswalk when crossing the street, okay? Oh, why? Are you stupid? Can I pay more for walking in a crosswalk and being hit by a car?
Husband and wife agree to call sex a class. One day, my wife sent a message to her husband: There is a class tonight. Husband replied: I have entertainment and change to self-study! The wife is unhappy. The next day, my husband was in class, and my wife said, no, I had a tutor last night!
3. My son and I went to eat KFC, and a handsome guy next door teased him: Little friend, your mother is going to elope with me. What would you do? My son gave me a look and said, My father always said that it was shit for him to see my mother, and so did you?
4. A primary school teacher wore a very ordinary skirt to class today, and a little boy came to me and said, Teacher, you are beautiful again today. ? I was secretly pleased, and I didn't return to my senses. Then another little man said, Teacher, he is bragging. ?
The mother mouse suspected that her husband was having an affair. One day she quietly followed. Suddenly, the husband plunged into the bush, and soon a hedgehog came out. The mother mouse grabbed the hedgehog and said there was no affair. Say it! Who are you seducing with so many mousses?
6. I once downloaded a movie from the computer in my study. I was afraid that my grandmother didn't know how to mess around, so I reminded her: I downloaded it in my room, so don't come over for the time being. After a while, my father came out and asked my grandmother where I was. Grandma said that he gave birth there and no one was allowed to go in.
7. A buddy in the opposite dormitory bought a bicycle for 4000 yuan. He was very excited and rode it to the city. I accidentally broke my teeth on the way. The next day, I went to the city by bike to have my teeth filled, and I lost my car after my teeth were filled.
I bought a short skirt to wear at home. When I looked in the mirror, I said narcissistically, it's beautiful. Mom replied, yes, just like winter melon wearing shorts. I didn't understand at the moment. What do you mean by asking? Mom replied, short and thick.
9. Xiaoming bought three hats at a low price in the stall, one in leek color, one in celery color and one in spinach color. Just want to go home and show off with my wife, my wife came shyly and said, in fact, this money can be saved. Just tell me directly!
10, I remember one day after graduation, my girlfriend sent me a short message:? Let's break up! ? Before I was sad, my girlfriend sent me another one:? Sorry, it was sent by mistake. ? This would be completely sad.
1 1. In class, the teacher told the students that Columbus discovered North America. At the end of class, the teacher summed it up in the following words: It all happened more than 400 years ago. A little boy looked at the teacher in surprise. He hesitated for a moment, and finally said, The teacher has a good memory.
12, Mouse: My brother is married. Dog: Who is your brother? The mouse said: lion! Dog: How can a lion be your brother? Mouse: Actually, I was a brave lion before I got married!
13, chatting with a little friend, he said: My grandfather will be 104 years old tomorrow. It's amazing! What is the secret of his longevity? He was born long ago.
14, quarreling with his girlfriend. My girlfriend left me a QQ message in her space:? Sorry, I was wrong. ? Then she answered herself:? Hum! I don't care about you! ?
15, pooping in the toilet in the morning. . My throat suddenly itched and I couldn't help coughing a few times. The husband in the living room asked with concern: What's the matter? Oh, are you suffocating? I
16. My wife said she would give me a surprise. What did I say about the surprise? She said she was pregnant. Perhaps this is not unexpected, but she stressed that the child is really mine.
17 One day, Xiao Ming was accidentally bitten by a poisonous snake and saw his classmate Xiao Qiang say, "Xiao Qiang, help me suck out the snake venom." . ? Xiao Qiang said: No, my mother said, never take drugs. ?
18, my classmate went to the hospital to see him when he was ill. When that guy saw me coming, he said, there's nothing to entertain you. Why not take some oxygen from the hospital? It was quite fresh, so he stuffed the oxygen tube into my nose.
19, wife:? If it doesn't rain again, I'll dedicate you to the Dragon King. ? I couldn't figure it out for a moment, so I asked: I'm not a woman. What does the Dragon King want me to do? My wife said: there must be a pig's head when sacrificing.
20. In the middle of the night, there is no light in the toilet. You go to relieve yourself, fall into the toilet, fight with maggots, fight with shit, and no one saves you. You die heroically, live great and die silently. In memory of you, the toilet is equipped with lights.
2 1. A student with poor homework said to his English teacher before graduation: Thank you, teacher. Please don't hesitate if you want me to do something. The teacher said: You must never say that I have taught you English.
22. A beggar begged his hostess to say, Madam, I haven't seen meat for a whole week. The lady called the servant and quickly brought out a plate of meat pie for the man to see.
23. A pregnant cat and a tiger passed by. Cat:? Why are there such strong cats, genetically modified? The tiger was deeply moved when he saw the cat. Alas, young people nowadays just don't pay attention to it and get pregnant at an early age! ?
24、 ? Honey, what do you want for the New Year? You just need to stop calling me names. ? No way! I can't believe the lion asked for such a luxurious gift! ?
25. How many times have you been in love? B Q: Does secret love count? A: Secret love can only be counted as half a time. B: Then I said it 3.5 times. A: Not bad. I didn't know you dated three girls. No, I had a crush on him seven times.
26. Before going to bed, the five-year-old son said to his mother, Mom, give me the flashlight. ? Mom:? What are you doing sleeping and playing with a flashlight? I'm not playing. I'm dreaming, I can't see. ?
27. A man proposed to a woman and said affectionately:? You are the sun in my heart, and I revolve around you like the earth? Before she finished, the woman couldn't help bragging: Are you proposing or taking a geography class?
28. On the road that day, I reached out to say hello to my girlfriend. As a result, a taxi stopped next to me immediately, I asked. Can I help you? Driver: Get in! ? Me:? Where are you going? The driver was covered in black lines.
29. Girlfriend: Hey, it's almost the stop. Do you have any change? Boyfriend is puzzled: You are so forgetful. I have never had a whole bag since I met you!
30. Xiao Li: Alas! My wife is more and more persistent now! ? Xiao Wang:? This is a good thing! ? Xiao Li:? What good thing? She used to scold me at home, but now she scolds me outside! ! ?
3 1. Young people meet the Zen master: Master, I am still single in my thirties. How can I find my daughter-in-law Zen master to touch my head? You're sick, aren't you? Want to know how to find a wife and become a monk? ! ?
32. My little niece is only four years old. Because she was naughty, my brother threatened her: if you are naughty again, I will hit you. ? As a result, the child said, you don't have to hit me. I'm going to cry now. You have to coax me! ?
33. On a hot summer day, two bananas were walking on the road. The banana walking in front suddenly felt so hot. He said it was too hot. I want to take off my clothes. As a result, he peeled off the skin and the banana at the back fell off.
34. Going to the school toilet is the kind of connected pit. When I started to take off my pants, I lost a 50-cent coin. I feel a little distressed and can't continue to take off my pants. Another piece fell, and my heart was broken! A sentence came from the pit next door:? You think this is the wishing pool! ?
Last night, I took my 4-year-old daughter to the ATM to withdraw money. After taking the money, I saw my daughter staring at the ATM and asked her what was going on. Dad, let's buy a machine like this at home.
36. The first time I dated my girlfriend, I agreed to go to the movies. I bought tickets for ghost movies specially, and the effect is not bad, just like others said. She buried her head in my arms at first.
37. When I went to the toilet in the company, the door of my pit was broken and I couldn't close it. I squatted down and pulled the handle inside with my hand. I was trying, when suddenly an anxious buddy pulled me from outside. . . You were right. Drag me out.
In a jewelry store, a young man bought an expensive necklace for his current girlfriend. The jeweler asked, shall I carve your girlfriend's name? The young man thought for a moment and said, no, just carve it. Give me the only love? In case it explodes, I can still use it
39. In high school, there was a classmate named Gao Yinan, who got good grades and was a student union student. One day, the school broadcast said that Gao Yinan had come to the Student Affairs Office. As a result, all the freshmen boys went.
40. I didn't bring anything except 1 yuan when I got on the bus. Sitting from the starting point to the finish line, I feel very calm all the way. But when I got off at the terminal, I found a note in my pants:? There is no shame in a big man going out without a penny. Sincerely from the thief company.
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