I got up early in the morning and looked down from the balcony of my dormitory, and a young couple was hard to part with and kissed and hugged each other for more than half an hour, and I silently took out my cell phone, put it by the window, and put on Jasmine Leung's "Happy Breakup," with the volume turned up to the loudest.

I guess, for a single dog like me, falling in love, seems to be a distant and vague word. I thought for a while that I might have lost the ability to like someone, or have the heart to accept advances from the opposite sex, or even, to live more and more self-absorbed and spontaneous. I know that I still believe in love, I also believe that I will meet love, just years of ups and downs, the kind of hot impulse like with the age of maturity and their own continuous improvement, in the slowly suppressed in the bottom of the heart, like a pool of stagnant water, no waves, no waves.

Really, I have forgotten, like a person, what is the subtle feeling, to love a person with all his strength is how a passionate, one day is not seen as three autumns and how sleepless. These seem to be gradually fading out of my life, I do not have to be who can not, you come to even good not to come, and even other people on my show of goodness has become a kind of invisible burden, because I am not ready, and even completely do not have the intention to give themselves to a person.

I will also occasionally commit nymphomania, will also stare at the handsome look into the God, just, never want to go over to his own, into their own things. I always feel that there is a lack of something, in the end what is it, and I feel that I can not say. Maybe it is destined, or maybe it is the tacit understanding of the love, in short, each time in the intention to step forward or simply agreed to the confession, but will still be in the key moment to retreat, choose to continue to be a person.

I'm sorry to say that I've said the most words since I've been single.

Perhaps, I am really the kind of person who is not suitable for love.

Once young impulsive, because of the words of the favorite, you can cut his favorite long hair, but also for him to do what he does not like, even without dignity, praying to bow down, living a fragile and humble living sensitive and suspicious, but also at that age, we can do the most for each other, always afraid that they are not good enough, and always want to be enough for him to be good, after he refused to be cruel, but also to be good enough for him. A cry two three hanged, think if he went his world will come crashing down, think about it, that year was also very childish, not at all now this kind of understanding and peace.

Now it is, but I have become the kind of most ruthless people.

A lot of people commented on me, saying that I am very friendly to everyone, saying that I am very gentle to every boy, treating everyone equally in the same way, just but where he likes me, then, I will put on my own armor, isolated from all action and pay.

Finally looked at his lonely back, secretly said sorry.

This is good for each other.

When you are not ready to accept a person or a relationship, blunt rejection is the best way to each other.

You can be a bad person and not trick yourself into accepting a relationship you never intended to start.

Otherwise, it's irresponsible, both for yourself and for others.

02

I remember a year ago, there is a good relationship with a male classmate, probably from the school hometown group to recognize, one after another in the school also met, each other after getting acquainted with the appointment to come out to play. The first thing you need to do is to get a good understanding of the situation and how it will affect your life.

He is very careful, will remember every word you said, will take care of the sick and angry you. I remember once drunk, about the phone asked a "you are not like me", he was silent for a long time, did not say, I also seem to be sober, deliberately play stupid hang up the phone.

That day, he did not say anything, just send me a message, "you can not always let people so worried, you do not know heartache yourself?"

At that time I thought, if he said, "I heartache you", I may be, defiantly agreed to it. Just he did not say I also pretend not to understand.

The relationship between the two did not because of this matter have a disconnect, I pretended to forget that he also sold confused amnesia, each other coincidental tacit understanding, are hidden in the bottom of the heart precipitation.

Some people say that the best relationship between the two is, above the friends, lovers, which is commonly known as "ambiguous."

Ambiguity does not have to bear the responsibility of love, but still bear the torment of love. But unlike love, it can always exit in style and disappear without a trace.

I remember that year's winter vacation home, only left early in the morning at six o'clock train tickets, from our school rushed to the train station at least two hours, and the earliest train is at six o'clock, helpless, I and a girl in the same class only plan to make up for the night on the train station one night.

When he heard about this, he changed his mind about taking the bus back, and I said, "It's okay, there's someone else.

This is the first time I've ever seen a car in the world, and I've never seen one in the world.

All the way to the bumpy road, he was accompanied by a whole lot of people.

Standing next to me on the bus, look at me after falling asleep, gently put me in the hands of the shaky cell phone put away, down the bus a bunch of their own luggage still have to help me take the bag, the train station near the dinner, will also be their own bowl of meat clip to me. At night because there is no place to squeeze in the waiting room, lying on the Texaco table to prepare for the night. Woke up in a daze in the middle of the night, the body has been draped with a jacket, his.

Turning his head, and his line of sight accidentally relative, he looked at me faintly, "how to wake up? Continue to sleep for a while, I watch things." I nodded, avoiding the line of sight, draped jacket because of twisting fell to the ground, only to hear the sound of bending down to pick up, the next second, the back again came from his carefully draped clothes movement, I slightly hooked the corner of the lips, continue to sleep over.

That night, woke up several times, and every time he woke up, he was playing with his cell phone next to him, about, a night without sleep.

Looking at his side face, slightly throbbing. The mind went through all the memories from the time we met until then, and suddenly realized that he seemed to have been good to me.

I wanted to ask, "Why are you so nice to me?"

But I was afraid that he would be so nice to every girl.

Then, we have been so with a period of time, with the graduation also gradually fade a lot, no news, no phone calls, no message, no flirtation, occasionally a few dynamic he will point a like, in addition, no more interactions.

I think, maybe because I'm not good enough, so he did not have the urge to die together.

I think maybe it's because I'm not good enough, I'm not cute, I'm not pretty, I'm not good enough to make him give up a piece of the forest.

I think maybe it is because I am the kind of person who is not suitable for love, not letting people want to stay with the feeling of attachment, and will not deal with the relationship with the opposite sex, and even more do not know, how to have to cherish to catch a belong to their own feelings.

So, I deserve to be single.

And more deserved is that I actually enjoy being single.

03

Now, I do not ambiguous, more not entangled, cut off all the impossible relationship, all alone to do the most true self. I don't feel tired or lonely, but I feel free because I can do what I want to do.

Maybe I'm used to being alone, but I feel that two people are a kind of bondage.

I think, even if I really out of the single team, I will not give up the value of my life and goals, and not because of love and give up everything, on the contrary, I believe that I know what I want, I also believe that I finally chose the one he will respect and support my decision.

A few days ago, a boy in the class suddenly sat next to me on the empty seat of the evening study, at first I did not care, because the pressure did not recognize him. Only to see him again and again hesitation, as if determined as still facing forward, hand but in front of their own snacks pushed me to my table, skimmed me and quickly retracted the line of sight, stammered towards the front, "to ...... for you."

His face flushed slightly, and he let out a long breath after saying this, his hand on his chest and patted it.

My face did not move, but my heart slightly trembled, not because of love, but because of that long ago courage and the original heart.

I think, a few years ago, I also seemed to face the favorite person, and stumbled on the words.

But I finally smiled at him and rejected his good intentions.

An irresponsible yes is the biggest disrespect to love.

Like so unsuitable for love, I have to wait until a I am not he can't he is not I can't it.