However, even if they don't live together, the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law still have to contact and meet. As we all know, many times it only takes a few words to cause conflicts. Because of the delicate relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, even if it is just a bad word, both sides can hold grudges for life.
Especially when it comes to money, it is more sensitive. Once the mother-in-law talks too much, it will cause dissatisfaction with the daughter-in-law. As a mother-in-law, if you want to get along well with your daughter-in-law, you must do "three don't ask":
0 1 Regardless of income, women used to do housework at home and men went out to earn money to support their families. Women don't have any income. If they want to spend money, they have to rely on men to give it. If a man is happy, he may pay more. If you are unhappy, you may give a woman a good scolding. Therefore, in the old society, women had to live on men's faces, and their status could be imagined.
Now women hold up half the sky like men and go out to work. With my own income, my back is straight and I am no longer as humble as before.
Some mothers-in-law will be very interested in their daughter-in-law's income and always want to know how much money their daughter-in-law can earn a month. If the mother-in-law can't hold back her inner curiosity and asks her daughter-in-law's income, it's actually embarrassing her.
As we all know, salary is also a personal privacy. Some companies also stipulate that employees are not allowed to ask salary questions in private. This is a means for the company to maintain stability.
As a daughter-in-law, I naturally have my own concerns about my mother-in-law. Because she doesn't know what her mother-in-law thinks of the figures she said.
If there are too many, I am afraid that my mother-in-law will give me an idea; If it is less, I am afraid that my mother-in-law will look down on it. No matter how much or how little, as long as you ask this question, there will be a distance between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and both of them have their own ideas in their hearts.
So a mother-in-law should understand that it is best not to ask this question. Requirements will only add a trace of disharmony to the family. If you really want to know, you can avoid your daughter-in-law and ask your son.
But after you know your daughter-in-law's income, don't make any comments, let alone mention it in front of her.
Don't ask about expenses. Some mothers-in-law are indifferent to their daughter-in-law's normal shopping behavior. They always say that she lost her family, and they always criticize her buying behavior, accusing her of not spending money on the cutting edge.
Many mother-in-law will naturally think that the daughter-in-law's income belongs to the whole family rather than herself. She shouldn't have her own private money, and she has no right to control her salary freely.
So she will get to the bottom of what her daughter-in-law bought. Once the price exceeds her expectation, it will cause an uproar.
Even if the daughter-in-law buys it for filial piety, as long as she thinks it's expensive, she can't help but be wordy and dislike her spending money indiscriminately.
You doused his (her) filial piety with a pot of cold water. How can she be filial to you in the future?
Especially when the daughter-in-law spends money at home, the mother-in-law can't stand it. Daughter-in-law will be very angry and will be reprimanded once she finds out that she is sending money or buying gifts to her parents.
Actually, why bother As children, filial piety is the most basic morality. How much money and energy did your in-laws spend to help you raise your daughter-in-law? She is filial to the people closest to her, which is what she should do. What reason do you have to be angry?
Besides, you didn't give birth to her and you didn't raise her. She bought you a gift in good conscience, and gave you a red envelope to honor you during the Spring Festival. You should be grateful.
Even if she has no job and no income, you can't interfere with her spending money. As a stay-at-home mother, she must have spent more time and money on her children. She's hard enough. Don't give her any trouble.
Therefore, you should turn a blind eye to how your daughter-in-law spends money, as long as it is used in the right direction, and don't criticize it indiscriminately, otherwise it will only worsen your relationship.
Not to mention savings, as the saying goes, "hiding money from outsiders", how much savings a person has is generally unknown to outsiders. So even if some people earn a lot, they will say they have no money.
Most people are not stupid enough to ask how much money others have saved at home. After all, it's a private matter, so it's not convenient to ask. Even if you have nothing to ask, others will think you have an agenda and won't tell you at all.
Even my mother-in-law is no exception. Don't think it's okay to ask casually, but the daughter-in-law doesn't think so. When you ask her about her savings, she will think that you are trying to know her situation and invading her privacy.
Anyway, the amount of savings is a sensitive issue, even for relatives. Watch your mouth, don't ask if you can, and don't make trouble for yourself.
The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is subtle. If the mother-in-law always fetters her daughter-in-law on economic issues, there will undoubtedly be contradictions.
If the mother-in-law always gets to the bottom of everything, it will be disrespectful to her daughter-in-law and will only make her dislike you. Your misconduct may even destroy their marriage relationship and lead to tragedy.
Mother-in-law should know well, don't interfere too much in the married life of her son and daughter-in-law, and allow them to have their own privacy.
Do "three don't ask" on money issues, I believe you can also get the respect of your daughter-in-law, so that your son's daughter-in-law can have a happy and long-term marriage and a harmonious family.