Text/Peng Yuyan’s little fangirl

Picture/from the Internet

Story/from around you

You need to do a good job Fish can be more at ease.

If a fish wants to survive in the water, it must continuously absorb oxygen from the outside into the body through its gills, and then expel carbon dioxide from the body. At the same time, it must keep swinging its tail to stay in the water. In a procession state, in order to survive it needs to learn how to avoid danger while looking for food, and then learn how to survive in the water.

When I was very young, I always believed that people should treat each other sincerely, that people should be treated equally, and that the world should be as warm as spring.

Later, when I grew up and started to enter the society, the first thing that reality taught me was that first of all, you must be able to survive in this city. You must have a place to live and food. To have enough to eat, you have to support yourself, and you have to work hard to live. Only under this premise can you be qualified and have the right to talk about ideals, or talk about more other things, otherwise everything is just talk on paper under this premise.

Later, when we entered the cruel workplace, we discovered that in order to survive, we can be so humble that we don’t even have self-esteem, because before you succeed, no one will care about your self-esteem. , and why do you have to keep struggling for your worthless self-esteem.

When your boss asks you to buy afternoon tea, you have to run several kilometers to buy it. When your boss asks you to clean the house, copy documents, and serve tea and water, you have to do it honestly, because you don’t know how to do it. There is no way to refuse. Even if you don’t do this, there are still many people who are willing to do it. If you say "No", okay, then you are great. Now please get out of the company immediately and go back with your poor self-esteem to continue your lying down. No one will care about your feelings.

Then after you fail in interviews again and again, you find that you have no workplace experience, no work ability, and no 985/211 degree. You can’t even survive. It is a huge challenge before you, because no one is willing to give a chance to a person who has nothing. The basic survival problem of food, clothing and clothing has already made you exhausted mentally and physically, not to mention other things.

Wait until the day you wake up and you compromise and bow your head again, you will find that you are not humble or have no self-respect, but you are not even qualified to be humble and have no self-respect, but so what ? If you want to survive, you have to endure it, unless you want to quit.

What can be done? Is it useful to be full of grievances against the world? This is how life is. Except for yourself, no one will help you for no reason. After all, we have never seen the so-called saint.

At least until I see it with my own eyes, I will not believe that there are saints in this world. If you think there are saints, then I can only say that maybe I am blind and cannot see, or maybe it is He hid himself too well, or in other words, his shortcomings didn't have time to be fully exposed.

Because human nature is like this, we always take pains to leave the best of ourselves to strangers, but are unwilling to admit how bad we will be.

Actually, I also know that I have many shortcomings. For example, my ideas are sometimes too extreme, I like to get into trouble, and I don’t think things through enough. I also like to lose my temper and sulk, and sometimes I’m not mature enough. I can act impulsively, I like to be crazy and toss around. I am not a bad person, but I am not a good person either. I am just the most ordinary ordinary person in the world.

Even, I still have many bad habits. For example, I don’t like to see others living better or happier than me, which makes me feel very uncomfortable. So you see, here Point out how small-minded I am.

Sometimes at a certain moment, my heart will suddenly become very fragile, lonely and helpless. At this time, all the nerves will become extremely sensitive, and all the uneasiness and anxiety will be like a decision. The floods are coming.

I often ask myself late at night, why have you lived for more than 20 years? You have nothing now, you are just a pauper. No love, no career, no money, you have nothing, you can't even support yourself, why are you here to comment on this society, what right do you have to be dissatisfied, what right do you have to say no?

Looking through the circle of friends, it seems that everyone is living a better life than themselves, after all, their circle of friends is so shining all the time. Today this friend wins a big deal, tomorrow that friend publishes a book and opens a studio, and the day after tomorrow another friend is promoted to an executive. Everyone’s life seems so beautiful, and there are many people traveling around the country. It seems that everyone is living the life you want, but you are living the life you least want.

You can’t afford to buy any of the beautiful things in those huge ornate windows in the big shopping mall you pass by on your way to get off work every day. It takes courage for you to even walk in because you are poor. !

You don’t dare to fall in love, and you don’t dare to hope that anyone will love you. You know and are afraid that you are not worthy. In a bustling metropolis with bright lights and bustling lights, in crowded streets and alleys, you live such a lonely and embarrassed life. You want to cry on the street, but you are afraid of being regarded as crazy by others.

On the streets where people come and go, you feel that everyone you pass by has a better life than you. They are chatting and laughing under the night lights, and you don’t even dare to enter. In the mall, buy things you like but don’t have the money to buy.

Inferiority makes you speed up your pace. You want to escape from all this quickly. But your damn self-esteem comes out again, so while you look at them with envy, you straighten your back and stubbornly pretend like I don't care at all.

However, this road seems really long, as if it will never end. You feel like everyone around you is looking at you, waiting for you to make a fool of yourself. The expressions on their faces The expression seems to be saying, stop pretending, we can all see it, you are a capital loser.

So you walked faster. You thought that as long as you could walk faster, you could leave all these things behind you, but you found that the more you tried to get rid of these things, they were behind you. During the struggle, he became more and more like a shadow.

You clench your fists and tell yourself in your heart that there is always a gap between people, but one day, you will also live a life that others will envy, so don’t panic, don’t be anxious, One day you will be one of them and have others look up to you.

Then at this moment, a voice suddenly came out in your heart, telling you that it was really ugly that you refused to give up, but fortunately you did not choose to give up, otherwise it would be even uglier.

Maybe it’s because I’ve been under a lot of pressure lately, so the things I write are quite decadent.

The National Day is coming soon, and several friends I haven’t seen for a long time are planning to invite me out to get together, but I politely declined. It’s not that I don’t want to go, but that I really don’t have time. In fact, the main reason is that I am short of money. I have to work overtime and support myself, because I may starve to death at any time. I am ashamed to say that I am already stretched thin. Others are thinking about how to travel during the National Day holiday. What I am thinking about is that it is the beginning of the month. The rent should be paid, the water and electricity bills should be paid, the transportation card should be recharged, and how much money do I have left in my pocket? money? It seems that the three digits in the bank card are gone, right?

In the past, when I saw those who wrote about the hardships and hardships of the Beipiao people, I was deeply moved, but more of a deep sympathy. That’s all. Until now. When I became one of them, I seemed to be able to understand in an instant how difficult it is for a college student who has just graduated from a non-prestigious school to survive in a big city.

Those days when I didn’t even dare to take a taxi to save money, those days when I ate steamed buns every day to save money, and those nights when I could only have porridge at night. I often worked overtime until the early morning, and wanted to reward myself for my hard work. I had been living for a day, but when I thought about my pitiful salary and a large amount of living expenses, I only dared to order a bowl of noodles with eggs.

As soon as I got off the subway, before I could sit down at the table, the aunt running the noodle stall smiled at me from afar and said, "Girl, is working overtime again?" Take care of yourself. What are you going to eat tonight? I smiled and said, "Auntie, I'm going to treat myself tonight and add an egg to my noodles." Yes, I am a regular customer of this noodle stall. This is our daily conversation. This aunt is in her forties. She has a daughter and a son, one in high school and one in junior high school. She divorced her husband many years ago, and now she has two children alone. Although her husband sends some living expenses to the children every month, it is not enough. She relies on her alone. I can barely make ends meet by running a noodle stall, which is extremely difficult for a woman with two children. Every night after working overtime, I have to go here and eat hot noodles before going home.

After a while, the auntie at the noodle stall came over with a bowl of noodles in her hand. She smiled and said that she would add two eggs for you for free. It was topped with some chopped green onions. The smell was so delicious. Your mouth is watering, and only then will you feel somewhat satisfied. In fact, in this noisy city, life for each of us is not as easy as it seems.

Before I left, I paid for the extra eggs. Although my aunt refused to accept them, I still paid. I smiled and said to her, if you don’t accept it, I won’t dare to come to your place for noodles next time. The aunt said gently, "Okay, okay, then next time I will increase the amount for you without increasing the price."

Under the street lamp, I saw her beautiful profile, and suddenly I felt so warm. I missed my mother’s cooking and home.

Look, the city is brightly lit, but not everyone’s life is that easy. The uncles who carry passengers at the subway entrance stay until 12 o’clock every night even in the cold winter. The auntie who runs the noodle stall next to her is never absent no matter the weather. The young man holding the luggage next to me may have just gotten out of the car and arrived in this strange city. His face was full of uneasiness and fear.

Not everyone is as successful as they seem. Each of us is working hard for life. Maybe some people seem to you to be so lucky, but only they know things. The truth,

In order to survive, I chose to be a fish, so that I can handle myself better.