A few months before my 30th birthday, one day at the end of last year, I went to work as usual, finished what I was doing, and was watching what I was going to eat for lunch. Suddenly my little sister called me to the office and said something difficult to me: "The company is not operating very well and there is not much work. The boss doesn't want to set up a copywriting planning post. When I have a task, his friend will help me write it and ask if you want to jump ship ... "It took me three years to slowly switch to a copywriting position and didn't want to start from scratch. The next step is to pack up and leave smoothly, and there is no time to say goodbye to every colleague!
Back home, lying dead for a long time. I recalled my previous experience and why I became an unemployed youth at the age of 30.
My undergraduate course is an unpopular agricultural major. After graduation, students either entered the relevant colleges or took part in the postgraduate entrance examination. I didn't like this major at that time, and I didn't plan to do related work after graduation. Because I am still interested in writing and the entry threshold is not high, I plan to find a job related to copywriting. But I think it's too simple. Just graduated, with no work experience and no relevant professional background. I ran into a wall everywhere and finally found a job as a copywriter in a small company. There are only seven people in the company. Later, a customer service girl resigned and the boss asked me to take over customer service. I haven't written many articles on copywriting planning. At that time, it was important to feed yourself first. I kept doing it for nearly two years, and the company went bankrupt. Then I was a little shaken and felt that stability was still very important. I entered the logistics of three colleges and universities. Although the salary is not high, I feel that the working environment is relatively simple. Later, it was found that it was not simple, and it was all mechanized operations. After working for a year, I finally got bored and left school. It can be said that I have almost no experience in copywriting planning in the early stage. I worked as a copywriter in a film and television company for three months, and the top partners stopped playing. The project was terminated and I lost my job again.
I have rested for nearly half a year, and I am not very anxious when I am not at work. I read books, listen to music, learn piano, develop my personal interests and improve my self-cultivation. I feel at ease. Until the bank card balance was insufficient, I had to go out to find a job and finally found this small company. After I went in, I finally started to formally contact with copywriting planning. Small companies wish that one person has several jobs. How can it be so clear? I want to know how to plan creative offline activities, and I also want to know how to operate the online official WeChat account, such as how to typeset and suck powder in the official WeChat account. What I write needs not only lively and grounded online celebrity style, but also elegant style. Sometimes I have to go out with the leaders to talk about project cooperation and take photos. Although I have a wide network of contacts, I have no energy to dig deep into a certain field. I just tasted it and didn't form my own professional expertise. For people without expertise, it is dispensable for the company and will be replaced at any time, so I became an unemployed youth at the age of 30.
In the evening, my boyfriend Jun (now called ex-boyfriend) who talked for nearly eight years called and asked me what to eat for dinner. I said angrily, "is it annoying to ask what to eat every day?" Stop eating! " I felt a little regretful afterwards. I shouldn't lose my temper with him. After three seconds of silence, I said I was unemployed ... He was surprised at first, and then asked why. I said I was worthless to the company. A Jun feels that private enterprises are unstable. It's okay. Find another job or take an examination of a civil servant. I appreciate his optimism and tolerance, which gives me some comfort.
But the next thing didn't go as smoothly as I thought. When applying for a job again, compared with those fresh graduates of related majors, they have no advantage except jumping in a small company for a few more years, and when they are nearly 30 years old, they are often asked an embarrassing question, when to get married. I want to say, don't get married for a while. Others think it is unscientific to have an unmarried boyfriend. I want to say that I will get married soon, and people should think about it. ...
With the increase of unemployment time, there is a contradiction between Jun and me. He thinks it's not safe to find a job first. I think since compromise is not safe, I will throw caution to the wind and pursue my dream. The word dream is awkward to say now. Like a private matter, I didn't tell anyone. I want to go to music-related industries. I have no chance to learn music, so I would like to go to the music industry. At that time, I suddenly had a bold idea: "Why don't we go to Hangzhou, where there are many opportunities and it is close to your home." He thinks I'm so naive that I don't even eat interest. I still want to try. I think I'm old if I'm not crazy. Besides, five years after graduation, we haven't made a name for ourselves in that second-tier city. We have no room, no car and no tie. He looked gloomy: "After all, you still dislike that I have no house or car." . I accidentally touched his sensitive nerve and quickly explained, "If I didn't like you, I wouldn't be with you for so long." He stopped talking and silently went out for a cigarette. The argument that day was fruitless.
The next day, my mother called to say that it had snowed at home. She asked me if it was cold in the south and told me to wear more clothes and eat more so as not to lose weight. I held my breath and burst into tears. My mother was frightened and asked me what was going on. I said I lost my job. I quarreled with Jun yesterday. My mother said to let me have a good rest for a while and look for it after the New Year. Why don't I go home and spend time with my mother first? I promised in tears.
Three days later, I returned to my home in the north. Pushing open the door, Jiaozi's mother is wrapping my favorite eggs and shrimps by herself, and there is a little dazzling white hair on her head under the light. At this time, my guilt flooded in, but the shyness of traditional education did not make me jump on her and hug her. I slept with my mother that night, told her what the southern city was like, and took her to play later. She agreed with great expectation. She asked me when June and I would get married. We will be thirty soon, and it's time to start a family. It's no use calling me in a hurry. I don't care if he has money, I care if our three views are compatible. My mother said: "He is willing to make progress, and he is good to you, so just make do." I won't insist on the house, you can struggle slowly. " There is no quarrel between two people. If it is really inappropriate, it will end early, and when will it be delayed? "
That night, I began to think again, why have I been with Jun for seven years and haven't got married yet? Maybe it's because my life pursuit is different. I pursue illusory dreams, and his current ideal is more practical. Take an examination of a civil servant and be a clerk. If only I could go home with my wife and children. In fact, he dreamed of becoming a writer when he was a student, and never mentioned it again. In terms of hobbies, for example, he doesn't like sports, I want to go to the gym, I like music, he is tone deaf, and there are many differences in eating habits between north and south. He insists on the principle that parents don't travel far. I think men should work hard while they are young. These can actually work together, but in life, he wants me to be lively and lovely in front of his parents, and I am introverted, and I don't understand their dialect, so I seldom take the initiative to chat with his parents, which leads to his parents' dissatisfaction with me, and I am a little resistant to how to get along with his parents in the future. Just because I have been talking about it for so long from college, I feel that I have wasted so many years of my youth without getting married, but when it comes to getting married, I am still a little scared or unwilling to drag on.
In more than a month after I came home, Jun called me three times and asked me if I had eaten and what I ate as usual. Because there is no topic of common interest, I used to talk about things at work, but now I just need to eat. I replied faintly that I had eaten. He sometimes talks about his trivial work, and I don't like it. After an awkward silence, I hung up.
I felt that life didn't want to go on like this, so I called and asked, "What do you think of getting married?" He paused and said when to get the license. I said, don't you think this life is boring? He said, isn't this life? I felt a sense of despair, said let's break up, and then hung up.
Yes, I buried this relationship myself. It's good for me to think about Jun. I tolerate my small temper and all my shortcomings. Not romantic, but practical. We seem to be in harmony on the surface, but some vague disharmony in our lives eventually ruined this piano, musical instrument and singing skill. From youth and ignorance to feelings that I became accustomed to later, no one dared to step out of the established route until I went astray. At the age of 30, I became an unemployed and lovelorn older woman.
After the fifteenth day of the first month, I chose to go to Beijing, because I am close to my hometown, my cousin has a care in Beijing, and my college classmates are there, so I won't be alone. Although I know the hardships of drifting north, I still want to give it a try, as a last resort. After going for a month, I was beaten by the south wall. I was asked a similar question by the interviewer. When will I get married? I also said that you are really brave to drift in the north at your age ... When I was crowded outside the underground iron gate by the crowd, I woke up. It was a kind of naivety that had never seen the world, and finally saw the world. You have to go through it to see how small you are.
Actually, I am mentally prepared. In case I can't go home, I'll get married on a blind date like my cousin. I teach my son. Before I leave Beijing, I will realize my previous wish. I went to the Forbidden City, the Great Wall, the Strawberry Music Festival, the museum's cultural relics exhibition and the 798 art exhibition. ...
After the indulgence, I put away my bags and ridiculous dreams. On the train home ...
My goal now is to be admitted to the civil service, get married and have children, and embark on a stable and ordinary road.