I'm getting married in a few months. When my colleagues asked about the wedding date, I never made it clear to them, because I had no venue, no money and no desire to invite them to the wedding. A newly married colleague invited the whole team and set a precedent. Everyone wanted me to follow suit. I wanted to invite only them to the wedding, but my friend warned that they should be invited to the whole wedding process or not invited at all. If they are invited, should I invite company executives? What will happen if I'm not invited?

Analyst, female, 25 years old

Lucy's answer

It sounds as if you have the common pre-traumatic stress disorder of people who are about to get married. Patients will find themselves waking up in a cold sweat at night because they are worried about whether the seating arrangement and flower arrangement of the wedding banquet match the invitation.

In this state, your judgment declines, and unless you receive treatment, you will start to make some very bad decisions.

One of the wrong decisions was to invite your team to the wedding. Maybe you do invite annoying relatives, but you don't have to invite annoying colleagues. If some colleagues happen to be real partners you should invite, invite them, otherwise it is unnecessary.

You mentioned that a colleague improperly invited the whole team to the wedding, which set a precedent. But it won't have this effect. Even in the most concerned institutions, people have the right to choose their own wedding guests.

I have attended several colleagues' weddings and found the most embarrassing thing-colleagues and guests gathered in the corner, not particularly wanting to talk to each other or make friends with others.

You asked if it was necessary to invite company executives. This is more complicated. Tests show that inviting the boss to the wedding is helpful for promotion.

But if this invitation is not so natural, I would rather give up and enjoy the day as much as possible.

Reader's suggestion

Wenwen wedding

Let the members attending the wedding send the live activities of the wedding to your team in text form. Once your innovation spreads, you will have a small wedding with a large audience.

Male, 73 years old, can plan a wedding in Afghanistan, Iraq or Somalia at any time. Invite everyone! The above destinations should be able to solve your problem well.

Importer, female, over 50 years old.

The weather is fine, prepare for the bad weather.

Since the probability of your marriage failing in a few years is close to 50%, you should invite all your colleagues and managers; You may need them more than your spouse soon. Just do it, don't be a cheapskate-have fun and rent St. Paul's Cathedral if Westminster Abbey is too small.

Consultant, male, 57 years old.

Barbecue picnic

I suggest holding a barbecue before that important day, so that colleagues won't think it is an afterthought.