The biggest influence and lesson my ex brought to me is that he made me not know how to love someone again, and I didn’t dare to love someone again.

After being with my ex for more than half a year, I discovered that he had a girlfriend when we were first together, and this girlfriend had met his parents and his brothers. It turns out that I am the mistress. The three I hate the most. Even when he was in the third month of being with me, he coldly and violently broke up with this very kind and good girl.

I also feel sorry for this unknowing girl, and I also hate that I became a mistress without knowing it. He made me constantly doubt myself. When I was in love with him, I never did anything, lost my temper, it was impossible, and I never asked for any material gifts. It can be said that it was all wishful thinking on my part from beginning to end.

I thought I had found the person I could entrust to my life. I gave him endless love, I gave him expensive gifts, I cared for him in every possible way, I gave him space, and I never tracked him down. whereabouts. As a result, on the third day after he officially introduced me to his circle of friends, and on the night when he was drunk, I looked at his cell phone and finally realized how much of a worry-free old lady I am. Two ambiguous objects and an ex-girlfriend.

Sigh. It can be said that it was a critical blow to me who was less than 20 years old at the time. I was so sad that I couldn't even shed tears. I quietly left him when he was drunk, boiled hot water for him, and left him a message saying that he had something to do at home and had to go home first. I thought about pretending that I didn’t know what to do, and I had to swallow this pain even if I broke my teeth. But I really can't do it. On my way back to school on the early morning bus, I truly realized what it meant to be heartbroken and so sad that I couldn't even shed tears.

I was fortunate that it was the Dragon Boat Festival holiday and there were no roommates in the dormitory. I had not eaten for two days and could not shed tears. I kept blaming myself and questioning myself. More than a year or two have passed, and when I think of myself at that time, I feel really distressed.

Up to now, I have long forgotten how to love someone. I only think that I will bring endless harm to others, so it is better not to fall in love. I hope I can find the me who dares to love and hate again, and no longer be timid. Just thinking about the me at that time still makes me feel a little distressed.