In the past, courtship and "entering through the back door" were often used together, which was regarded as an ugly behavior to achieve personal goals by taking improper means. In reality, there are still many people who still believe that some people use their relationship with others (mostly leaders) to achieve this goal in order to get promoted and get rich. People often put this relationship in opposition to a person's actual working ability. Even if a person has no real talent, as long as he can make connections, he can still be promoted to a higher position and make a fortune. With the development of the times, people's survival pressure is increasing, and the temptation to be promoted and rich is increasing. At present, few people really despise relationships, some of them are verbal, and everyone recognizes the extreme importance of relationships. As we all know, ten years ago, success only required 30% relationships and 70% abilities. To succeed now, the proportional relationship between relationship and ability can be reversed, that is, 70% of relationship and 30% of ability can be used. Some people may think that this is unfair, and think that the bad influence of this behavior is no less than bribery, which undermines social fairness, but in private, I am afraid I also suffer from not having a good relationship. In short, in the minds of many people at present, the most important thing is not to maintain a personality that can't be eaten as food or spent as money, but whether it can be successful. Therefore, many people have consciously joined the team of contacts. The story of "going through the back door" is said to come from the Northern Song Dynasty. According to legend, after Song Zhezong's death, Song Huizong succeeded to the throne, with Cai Jing as the phase. Cai Jing tried his best to demote the old officials, stipulating that their children were not allowed to enter Beijing as officials, and even poems were not allowed to circulate, which caused strong dissatisfaction. At a banquet hosted by the imperial court, artists performed such a scene: a big official sat down according to the case and made judgments on everything. A monk asked to leave Beijing for a trip, but he was ordered to return to the secular world because he quit following the reign of Zhezong. A Taoist priest lost his jade seal and asked for a replacement. Because he became a monk during the reign of Zhezong, he was immediately stripped of his robes and returned to the people. At this time, a subordinate came forward and whispered, "What should we do with the salary of 1000 yuan issued by the state treasury today?" After a little meditation, the official said quietly, "Then go through the back door and move in through the back door." . This is the origin of the "back door". In addition, it is said that the new book "Home" by drinkers describes that the Sui Dynasty inherited the Han system, and all the government offices sat facing south. If the position is high enough to bring a family and a job, the wife and children of officials are usually placed in the back room of the yamen. Usually, in business dealings, guests take the front door, and only close friends or their junior take the back door. Hundreds of years later, greed prevailed, and the word "through the back door" came from it. These two allusions are very meaningful. First, for the benefit of individuals or small groups, as long as they have authority and make excuses, they can do what they can't do. Second, as long as it is hidden, let a powerful person or family be happy and do what they can't do. So, what does it matter? The original intention of pulling is to force an object to move in its own direction or follow itself. This is a process of making two people's positions change physically first and then react chemically through subjective initiative. There should be two meanings here. One is out of nothing, and two people are irrelevant to each other. By connecting two people, two people are related by blood, thus becoming close. In short, they can make new friends. The second is to upgrade and deepen the existing relationship, that is, to maintain and consolidate the old friend relationship. Network is a technical vocabulary. Young people who have just dabbled in the world may be confused, but all the Jianghu people know that the so-called relationship is to move around more. In fact, it is to treat guests and give gifts, sow first and reap later, invest first and seek returns later. The first step is to make people accept you and gradually treat you as a friend. You have to be able to talk first. Your mouth is as sweet as honey, even if it wrinkles your face, keep the brightest smile. Although this is the practice of people with very low ranks, it is also the most basic; Further, you should do what you like and speak according to each other's personality and hobbies. If you like compliments, you can try to kiss their ass. If you are obsessed with technology, you should be professional. There is only one purpose, that is, to make people feel comfortable, be respected and have the opportunity to give full play to their talents. Secondly, you have to bring some handwritten letters. What is a personal letter? The original name of calligraphy is Lu. "Twenty-four years of Zuo Zhuan and Zhuang Gong" records: "There are people, big silks and small birds, and there are chapters and things; Women, but hazelnuts, chestnuts and dates, as a sign of piety. In today's words, the basket is a gift. Since the Zhou Dynasty, people who visit relatives and friends and guests should bring gifts, not too many gifts. Most people are a pile of bacon in summer and a pheasant in winter; Whether the doctor is a goose or a lamb depends entirely on his level. The host received the gift, and when the guests left, they still returned it in full. Gifts are symbolic, but it is not necessary to return the gifts given by the humble to the monarch and elders. It can be seen that the communication between ancient and modern China and foreign countries is inseparable from the content of gifts. Interpersonal calligraphy is not a valuable gift, but it often highlights the local traditional humanistic value, pays attention to portability, has local characteristics, and wins the favor of relatives and friends; Writing a letter by hand is not expensive, but in my heart, I have a feeling, a sincerity, a heart, a blessing to my relatives and friends, and a concern for them. The calligraphy when courting friends is more of a temptation, depending on the acceptance of the other party. Generally speaking, things can be done if he takes your things; If you can't do it, he won't accept your things. We'll talk about it later, but we won't talk about it here. Finally, let the other person know the actual return of helping you. The knowledge here is too great to be understood in a few words. This process is also very subtle, and if you don't master it well, you will fall short. Generally speaking, the other party doesn't want specific returns, but they are afraid to ask for specific returns. Because the amount reaches a certain level, it will be suspected of bribery, which will become the risk that the other party will face violations of law and discipline. He will struggle with his inner greed and fear for a long time. At this time, what people who are good at networking must do is to show that they are in the same boat with him, and they will never be half-hearted, nor will they let others down and betray others. Take our work celadon for example. Zhang Zhongping, the protagonist in the book, was not familiar with Judge Hou Changping at first. When he saw a case in his hand, he racked his brains to pull the relationship between the two. Carrying a box of health wine into the house is just a stepping stone, a kind of fire reconnaissance, and kung fu is spent on Hou Changping himself. I still don't see how much creativity and talent he has. However, when he found that Judge Hou's son's paintings and calligraphy works were posted in Hou's home, he knew that Hou Gongzi studied calligraphy, and his next performance was remarkable: first, he spent all his money to find the former chairman of the Provincial Calligraphers Association to be a teacher (which Hou Changping wanted), then he sent copybooks to Xuan paper (which gave him a reason to go door to door and meet mistresses frequently), and finally let the students' works at home be auctioned. I don't hesitate to go to the stage and shout in person, and secretly operate it to make it sell at a high price (which not only greatly satisfies the vanity of adults and children, but also makes a legitimate profit), step by step, doing it like a flowing stream. Hou Changping is a clear-headed and incorruptible judge, but he had a son in his later years and placed great hopes on him. He doesn't want this to be his weakness. He tried to resist, but in the end Zhang Zhongping became his best friend. There are many courtship experts. At first, instead of focusing on the target, they took a strategic curve to save the country, starting with the target's wife and children. This is very reasonable. First of all, the momentum and intensity of anti-corruption are growing, and the target audience is highly vigilant. It is difficult to achieve results in a short period of time. Secondly, in other people's homes, the utilitarian purpose must be hidden first, and playing emotional cards can play a role in moistening things. Once the family members of the target object have a good impression on you, they will help you blow it. When the wind blows more, the ears of the target object will be soft. If you go to him again, you will laugh at it.