For a long time, I have always felt that only through the baptism of time can we become true friends. After chatting with 10 strangers for more than 2 hours in the past two years, I have this realization. Subverted!
Because, I found that some people have a tacit understanding that they can understand any topic when we just meet them, and the trust that allows me to talk to each other unreservedly just after meeting them is "the first time I met you." , that rare sense of familiarity between people that is said to be like an old friend returning home! This kind of friends exist beyond time limits. They have the same name - the same kind!
Qiqi is such a existence! Speaking of the story of how Qiqi and I met, the most special thing is probably that when we first met, we were chatting so selflessly that we both burst into tears! I have experienced many happy conversations with people I met for the first time, but this is the only friend who made me laugh with tears during the first meeting. Many times, the way a person appears in your life determines the way you get along with each other. Such a special appearance is destined to create a deep bond between us.
Actually, both of us have stayed in Shanghai for many years, but we have never met each other. The real acquaintance was when we both left Shanghai. In early February 2020, we met in DISC’s online class. She was the class teacher at the time, and I was a student in the online class. I regularly recharge myself through online and offline classes every year, and I continue to try and challenge myself. This time something new attracted me - there is a position called Praise Committee in the class committee recruitment, and its responsibilities are It’s about complimenting others every day.
I am a naturally curious baby. I am full of curiosity about things I have never done. I think praising others every day is really a wonderful thing. Doing beautiful things can I have a good mood, and I will become a better person because of doing this. It is wonderful to think about it, so I signed up!
After registration, there was a one-on-one communication in front of the class committee. The communication was very pleasant, and I successfully started my work as a praise committee member. Because there were 500 people in our entire class at that time, there were only about 10 class committee members. Therefore, our class committee held regular meetings every week to summarize our work and get to know each other through communication. As for me, I am probably born with the characteristics of loving sharing and loving feedback. I will share many of my work experiences with you during regular class committee meetings, and I will also have many thoughts and ideas in my daily work to feed back to my class teacher. She and gradually we had many intersections.
The real deep connection between us happened one time when I accidentally read an article on her official account. The article wrote about the way her father educated her. After reading it, I was shocked and found that people of the same age We actually have the same dad! No wonder our personalities and ways of thinking about problems are so similar. Then we continued chatting and found that we both had a persistent pursuit of things related to "beauty" when we were growing up. My pursuit of beauty is reflected in painting and food, and she The pursuit of beauty is reflected in clothing aesthetics and food. We have all really learned cooking! Later, I discovered that the future state of life we ??want to have is very similar - we like and try our best to pursue a life with unlimited possibilities!
The most important thing is that in that chat, she shared a lot of her thoughts with me about self-introduction and asked me a question: How soon can you do it? To make this happen? This question forced me, and I said: one year. In fact, looking back now, if this problem hadn't forced me, maybe I wouldn't have been able to spend 8 months in 2020 on creating a self-introduction to the best of my ability at that time. ! It was good questions that led me to open a new world in life, and the people in my life who can bring me important influence are all people who have the ability to ask me good questions! Asking good questions is her strength, and feedback is also her strength. Later in the process of self-introduction, she gave me a lot of key feedback, which meant a lot to me!
In addition to self-introduction and creation, she has influenced me in many, many ways. Her goal for 2020 is to keep writing a public account. We are all people who have goals and must achieve them. She has only opened a public account for less than 2 months, and she has more articles than me, who has opened a public account for a year. As I carefully read her words one by one to understand her story, I kept asking myself: Do I still want to fulfill my wish to write articles on public accounts? When to do it?
Probably many times, life after having an idea is like a seed in the soil, just waiting for an opportunity to germinate. At that time, I found that many people were confused about energy management, so I shared my energy management article with everyone. Everyone found it very useful. Then I found that everyone was confused about reading, so I used the DISC behavioral style to match my previous skills. I combined the reading methods and shared it in the class committee group. After sharing, I wrote a public account article to record the shared content. This was the starting point for writing nearly 50 public account articles in 2020.
In the process of writing articles for public accounts later, my friend asked me: I admire you very much, why can you keep writing without feedback? I said: I started writing public account articles because I was needed. Someone asked me for help when they encountered a problem. If I tell everyone the same problem again, why not write an article to explain it clearly and let the other person read it for themselves; as I write it, I will find out. , I write public account articles because I need to, because I want to see clearly my growth footprint, and I need to sort it out in words. Every time I write, it’s like tying a bow on a certain experience of my life like a gift. The official account is like the room where I put gifts. Every time I open the door and look at those gifts, it’s already an extremely happy thing. As for other people's feedback and attention, it's just an add-on to me. After all, the best gift for doing something is the thing itself!
Looking back at the whole year of writing public account articles in 2020, through writing public account articles, the concepts and methods of self-introduction were spread and influenced more people, and also brought me target customer group; and I often receive feedback: Your articles allow me to see what a good life looks like, break my understanding of many things, and bring me many new things! Even, I often receive messages from some strange friends I have never chatted with before: sometimes it is about food ideas, sometimes it is about leaf ideas, and they also say to me - Mai Mai, I think this is possible This is what I want in the future. These are incredible surprises! Doing what you like can also bring joy and joy to others, so that your likes will continue to be magnified. Why not do it?
And I have gained a lot from being a praise committee member for one month! In February last year, when the epidemic was at its worst, for a whole month, I tried every means to praise others. I had no time to pay attention to the epidemic, nor did I feel the anxiety of being swallowed up by huge anxiety, because praising others requires me to be happy first. Talent is like water in a river, flowing from me to everyone I praise. The process of practicing praise deliberately for a whole month puts me in a happy state. It also makes me discover that praise is a technical job and requires me to feel the beauty with my heart. , and then express the beauty you feel in the appropriate language, testing both your ability to feel and your ability to express! It also made me discover that I have huge room for growth in this matter, so throughout 2020, I deliberately trained my expression skills countless times in my connections with people.
In addition to public account articles, Qiqi also influences me in terms of food. In March, our study class ended, and Qiqi and I made an appointment to meet in April when the epidemic improved. As a result, in April, Qiqi suddenly moved and left Shanghai, thinking that it would be difficult for us to meet again, so in early May we We made an appointment to have an online chat. It was our first time alone and we couldn't stop chatting for 2 hours. This time she analyzed with me that my account for writing recipes could just follow the trend of the times and replace pictures and texts with videos. Way. In fact, several friends have mentioned this to me before, but when I think about the picture recipe that I could write in 5 minutes, it would take more than an hour if I replaced it with a video recipe. I am a little afraid that maybe after changing the format, it will be too Trouble, I’ve even lost the fun of writing recipes.
Contrary to many people who have great confidence in their ability to persist, ever since I was a child, I have had absolutely no hope in my ability to persist in doing one thing. When I was a child, my dad described me as a little tabby cat who did things half-heartedly and was extremely curious. I discovered that I was indeed like this, so when I do something that requires persistence, my instinctive reaction is: How can I not give up? I finally discovered that I won’t give up on things that are simple and fun. Taking photos and writing recipes is a simple matter that only requires you to cook with one hand and take photos with the other. After taking photos, you can write the recipe in 5 minutes.
Not having hope in my ability to persevere is the key reason why I have been able to do many things that others think are very perseverant. From 2009 to now, I celebrate Thanksgiving every year to give Everyone who helped me sent messages; from 2010 to 2019, I have been doing reviews and summaries on Sundays. If you want to persist in something for a long time, you must consider that your willpower cannot withstand the test, and you must find pleasure in not giving up, rather than persisting in pain just for the sake of persistence. People are born to pursue happiness. You don’t need to persist in things you like, and you won’t persist in painful things for long!
After Qiqi’s repeated persuasion, I decided to spend 2 hours trying. If it takes more than 2 hours, I will change back to writing recipes with pictures and text in the future! The amazing thing is that my first attempt at a video recipe was completed in less than 2 hours, and in video mode, the food was indeed more tempting than in the picture. I took an important step! With Qiqi’s feedback, I made another recipe. This time, because I had mastered the video editing method, it only took half an hour. I felt extremely happy after finishing it, and the recipe that time was actually featured, bringing A lot of fans' attention. Now when I cook a dish, the whole process from editing the video to taking photos and writing the recipe takes less than 20 minutes. Everything is difficult at the beginning!
In June, I was leaving Shanghai, and Qiqi was going back to Shanghai for a business trip, so we met in Shanghai.
After meeting, from noon when no one came to eat in the store to the afternoon when everyone left, only the two of us were still eating, and we chatted unknowingly for more than 4 hours! During the chat, we talked about a lot of our own life experiences, and we were surprised to find that we were all going through the same thing at some stage. From laughing happily to having tears in our eyes, it was as if we were old friends we hadn’t seen for many years rather than seeing each other for the first time. When I met new friends, at that time, I really realized the beauty of the saying "Every encounter is like a reunion after a long absence"! We made plans to do a lot of things together in the future, and we also made plans to meet again in a new city next time!
In August, we had another 2-hour voice chat. This time Qiqi said that she wanted to do 100 little things that make her happy in 100 days. The next day after saying this wish, she really She got the collarbone tattoo she wanted most! This courage to do what you want to do inspires me!
In September, I received a gift from Qiqi. When I opened it, I saw a big box full of everything from food to beauty. Meeting Qiqi was like opening the magic box of life. She is my life. The best gift ever!
On February 2, 2021, I woke up and suddenly thought that I had not contacted Qiqi for a long time, so I sent her a message early in the morning, and we actually chatted for nearly 2 hours that day, which inspired a lot New inspiration.
I started drawing at home again two days ago. I suddenly discovered that I used to like serious and disciplined sketches, but now I like casual and relaxed sketches. This is probably because I always liked to make plans before. , now I like to be casual and have relationships. In the past, when I suddenly thought of a friend, I would consider whether it would be inconvenient for the other person at the moment, but after thinking about it, I would not actually contact the other person; now, as long as I think of a friend, I will go there immediately Contact the other party and have a chat if you have time, because this moment is the most suitable time. Live in the present rather than in the future. Even if the other party has no time to chat, my concern is conveyed to the other party because of my expression.
If you miss someone, just tell them, it is also a gift in itself! Even compliments that everyone seems to know can only be obtained after deliberate practice, not to mention the ability to express love and be loved. There is no ability that can be obtained without deliberate practice!
In the second half of 2020, I made an important decision - to reduce my interpersonal relationships, treat everyone I meet with warmth, but only spend time for people I like and are on the same wavelength, because Important talents are worth your time! Qiqi is that important person. We almost missed her, but we met again because of deep fate!
Now I am increasingly understanding that truly important friends are not defined by the length of time we have known each other or the number of times we have met.
The tacit understanding of the same kind is a state that ordinary friends may not be able to achieve even after a long time of baptism. It is also the telepathy between the same kind that will not disappear no matter how much time passes or how many life changes they experience! And time will only make the mutual sympathy between people become more precious when the magnetic fields between people are similar!