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Funny quotations shout out the name of mistress in her sleep. How to deal with it tactfully?
On this day, my husband slept and talked in his sleep. Husband: Don't worry, I promise to divorce my wife immediately. Okay, I will. At this time, the second-rate husband has opened his eyes and saw that his wife has got out of bed with a pillow in her hand, listening to her husband's complaints. He continued to pretend to sleep and said to himself, this scene will be performed as I just said to show your love for her, you know? All right! Have another one! Ready, 32 1 go! The wife took a breath and said, "This is a joke." . My husband whispered in his heart, thanks to his quick response. ...

Just about to go to bed, the goddess sent a message: "Are you there?" I immediately sent it, and then smiled and asked, "What's the matter, you still use red envelopes so late?" For a long time, the goddess replied: "Help my boyfriend charge the phone bill!" " I ... . Heart plug. . .

The teacher asked Xiaoming, "There is a pit five meters deep in front of you. There is no water in it. How do you get out when you jump in? " Xiao Ming: "It's not easy. If you let water come out of your head, it will float. " Teacher: "Is there so much water in your head?" Little Ming Dow: "I don't have that much water in my head. Why do I jump?"

My boyfriend and I were deskmates in high school. At that time, the school wanted to use the household registration book. After the teacher handed it out, he turned it over to me page by page, turned to the blank page at the back and stopped. He told me seriously that this page is waiting for you. Then now he is washing dishes in the kitchen.

"During this time, I quarreled with my wife every day." "Can you argue with her?" "Every time I talk to the end, she doesn't say anything." "So powerful, what did you say?" "I said, I'm sorry, I was wrong."

When I first entered primary school, I got up the courage to tell the girls in my favorite class. As a result, in the next six years, tragedy was regarded as the laughing stock of the masses. She said to everyone, "That guy really treated me ... poof, hahaha ..." Then junior high school was laughed at for three years, and senior high school didn't leave me alone. Up to now, she took it out when she was eating at home. I really can't stand it: "Dad, my mother keeps mentioning that, and you don't care."

My classmate told me that he was very naughty when he was a child, and his mother jumped up and down when she wanted to hit him, but she didn't catch him. At this time, his father just came back, saw it and said, "The baby has come to my father. He was very excited and rushed into his arms. My dad picked me up and kissed me and shouted, "Come on, wife, I'll help you catch it!"! "

If you are a spare tire of a goddess, you will always be a spare tire, but if you are a spare tire of ten goddesses, the goddess is your spare tire! ! ! Fight! !

A newly married couple has a dog, and then they hold the dog for me to evaluate. I wanted to say happy family, but I said it realistically: dogs, relationships between men and women. . .

I went to the seaside a few days ago and didn't pay attention to sun protection. In a few days, I got a tan. When I got home today, my grandmother saw me so dark and said with distress, how did I get this tan? Like salt water. . This is pickled. . .

Monks visit people. When the master saw that he was a monk, he asked, "Master, do you drink?" The monk smiled and said, "I can drink a little wine, but I have never been a vegetarian."

Hijikata Toshizo's famous saying

1, five-color spring grass, Yu Feng Fa Sentence Collection, Volume II. Cold plum blossom again.

It is farther to restore fragrance from the past year-poem 3 by Feng Yufa. Water, North Mountain, South Mountain and Spring-Feng Yufa's Poems.

4. "しればぃしなければわぬの-"Feng Yu Fa Sentence Set"

5. A Collection of Feng Yufa's Sentences-Xue Chaosheng,,.

6. My heart is infatuated with love.

Where to wander-Feng Yufa's poem 7, Cai, Hua, Hua, Shi, Shi, Shi, Deng, Asahi, Shi-Feng Yufa's sentence.

8. The spring rain is slightly cold

There is no loneliness in the guest-Feng Yufa's poem 9. Chao cha ㄩてそちこちすればけり-

10,23 flowers,12383; 12369; 12399; とりはやす-"Yu Fa Sentence Collection by Feng"

1 1, annual ceremony, parting, vacancy, Feng Yufa's sentence collection.

12, Wu

13, if you don't live here.

How can we enjoy flowers and meet each other nearby today? -Feng Yufa's Poems 14, Feng Yufa's Poems, Feng Yufa's Poems and Feng Yufa's Poems.

15, Walking sideways, Footprints, Snow —— Feng Yu's Sentence Collection

16, ぅくひすやはたきのもつひやめる-

17, ははるきのふのものはははもははは-"Feng

に Yuchuan 18 つりるやひかんかな-"Feng's Yu Fa Sentence Set "

19, Qiao Sen is still profound.

The weather is still very cold, and Xun Mei was born in spring. Why not watch it? -Feng Yufa's Poems 20, (Jing) ふりなからきるぁりこか.

2 1, see you in spring

A long-awaited trip, but still lingering in the rain-Poems of Feng Yufa 22. Who knew I wanted to live forever?

Or see a moth to the fire, sad-"Feng Yufa's Poetry" 23, March has a good day.

The drizzle goes deep into the bottom of the pool-poems Feng Yufa 24, plum blossom, flower, flower, るし, たけぃてちる-

Even if we are separated, our souls are still under the word [honesty]. -"Ghost of Thin Cherry"

26. Let's expect Feng Yufa's Sentences to catch bugs from the fire.

27. ぁはらにてさむしの-"Feng's Yu Fa Sentence Collection "

28. See をこしてゆるの-"Feng's Yu Fa Sentences "

29. Mei turned the Yu Fa Sentence Collection.

30. Send it today.

Kites in Kyoto ring until the evening-a must-see for Feng Yufa's poems.

Must read the famous sayings of senior three.

1, do each wrong question three times. The first time: when commenting; The second time: one week later; The third time: before the exam.

The college entrance examination is a comprehensive examination of knowledge, ability, psychology, confidence and physical strength.

3. Self-confidence comes from strength, and strength comes from diligence.

As long as you work hard, you will win.

5. Senior three is a period of collective struggle and personal achievement.

6, don't lose yourself in the busy, after studying, enjoy life, will make your mood bloom like a flower.

7. Sometimes, if you are free and easy, the future will be bright; Be more tolerant and your heart will be wider. The world around us is often wiser and more tolerant than we think.

8, strict on weekdays, the college entrance examination calm.

9. Silver is at the top, and gold is changing with each passing day.

10, to put it bluntly, it is not difficult to improve your grades. It depends on whether you are willing to work hard to accumulate more problems and summarize more.

1 1, no cleverness and no cheating should be the principles of our study and life. The basis of this is to believe in yourself, not only in your current strength, but also in the progress you can make through hard work.

There are many choices in life. Be careful at every step. But one choice can't decide everything. Don't hesitate, don't regret making a choice. As long as we can persevere, victory is ahead.

As an experience, failure is sometimes more valuable than success. Failure can leave us with deeper and more lasting memories and thoughts.

14, no pains, no gains, not necessarily; Undoubtedly, no pains, no gains!

15, practice is college entrance examination, and college entrance examination is practice.

16, don't hesitate to face the opportunity; Don't hesitate to choose; Don't be afraid in the face of decisive battle!

17, there are three keys to the success of the college entrance examination. First, the spirit of diligence; Second, scientific methods; Third: a good attitude.

18, daily life: 12: 9: 3. 12 hour study, 9 hours rest and eating, 3 hours housework and physical exercise.

19, one step at a time, thousands of miles away.

20. Learning is similar to meditation and needs perseverance.

2 1, striving for time means striving for success, and improving efficiency means improving scores.

22. In the face of the first place in the college entrance examination paper 120, I am determined to win, and I will not donate; After 30 minutes, the more the better, the less the loss.

23. If the score before 120 of the college entrance examination paper can be guaranteed, the score after 30 will not fail.

24. The secret of getting high marks in the college entrance examination is to lose less points!

25. Never excuse your carelessness.

26. A healthy body is the foundation, a good style of study is the condition, diligence is the premise, learning methods are the key, and psychological quality is the guarantee.

27. Motivated without pressure, nervous without anxiety, quick without panic.

28. The college entrance examination is really a bumper harvest, which contains too many connotations. No matter how you score in the college entrance examination, your growth and maturity is a fact that no one can change. You have gained too much through these three years' efforts.

29. The college entrance examination is a labor-saving lever to realize life. This is the best time for you to pry, and your life will rise in an arc in the future.

30. Self-confidence is a prerequisite for success.

3 1. Those who always want to win will lose, and those who are not afraid of losing will win.

32. Be grateful and never give up! Even in the fiercest storm, we should have the courage to look up and face the front. Because please believe: any suffering experience, as long as it is not destruction, is wealth!

33. For us at the age of 18, some things do affect our life, but nothing can decide our life!

34. Confidence is half the battle.

35. The college entrance examination paper is a ruler with uneven scales: for yourself, the score of the question is not necessarily high.

36. Without a goal, there is no direction. Set a goal for yourself at every learning stage.

37, nervous and orderly, efficiency is the key.

38. The college entrance examination didn't fail. The profound thoughts, unforgettable experiences and feelings it brought to everyone are all rare treasures. The process of striving for the ideal is far more significant than the unknown result.

39. How many beats can life have? Not now. When? Cherish the opportunity and let golden times collide with more brilliant sparks!

40, four points of knowledge, three points of perseverance, 20% of the test method, a normal heart.

4 1. The only factor that determines whether the psychological sky is cloudy or even cloudy is yourself. People who can't keep themselves in a sunny mood forever are losers.

42, don't feel inferior, you are not stupid than others. Don't be complacent, others are no more stupid than you.

43. When looking up at the sky, everything is higher than you, and you will feel inferior; When looking down at the earth, everything is lower than you, and you will be conceited; Only by broadening our horizons and taking a panoramic view of heaven and earth can we find our true position between heaven and earth. Don't feel inferior, don't be conceited, and insist on self-confidence.

44. The happiest thing in life is struggle, not success, and the most painful thing in life is laziness, not failure.

45. How many beats can there be in life? Don't be grey yet.

46. Don't ask about harvest, ask about cultivation! Heaven rewards diligence.

47. The body is always moving and the heart is always quiet.

48. Go beyond yourself, challenge yourself, challenge weaknesses, challenge laziness and challenge bad habits.

49. Senior three no longer exists. I advise you to cherish it. A year's experience is a lifetime's wealth.

50. Only when there is a high-level collective can there be a high-level individual.

5 1, there is often only one small step between saints and ordinary people, and this small step often requires extraordinary perseverance to catch up.

52. Write five words (with a pen or ballpoint pen) for five minutes every day.

53. The college entrance examination is a movement in which millions of people participate.

54. Faster, higher and stronger. Leading is the gold medal.

55. Self-confidence is the condensation of endless wisdom. Dull, it is a post station on the road to success.

Be kind to your hobbies, don't let hobbies make way for learning, let hobbies serve learning.

57, weak utility, light travel; Regardless of the effort, perseverance; I won't stop until I reach my goal.

You don't have to study every minute, but you should study every minute.

59. In the face of the college entrance examination, keep your heart kind and pure; Keep your emotions warm and rich; Keep your enterprising spirit and passion!

60, just ask for less points, not high scores!

6 1, pessimistic about success and optimistic about failure. Look down on yourself and treat others with tolerance. Look at problems rationally and look at life naively.

62, learning is to have the perseverance of sitting on the bench. Only those who are not afraid of difficulties and have the courage to struggle can make breakthroughs in their studies. When we have a clear goal in mind, indomitable fighting spirit and unremitting efforts, nothing can stump us, and we will definitely reach the other side of the ideal.

63. Without the usual failure, there will be no final success. It is important to analyze the reasons for the failure and learn from it.

The benefits of reading famous sayings encourage people to read famous sayings of Helen Keller and read funny quotations of sleeping.

1, I'm going to have a baby soon, so I don't know whether to be an uncle or an aunt for the time being because I don't know whether to have a boy or a girl!

After 2.90, you have a heart born after 80 and a face born after 70.

Have a good rest during the day, because you have to sleep at night!

I'm sorry that my elder sister is so straightforward and can't say what you like to hear.

Don't say sorry to me, because we are all fine.

6, don't mess with me, I'm not your lofty branch.

From today, it is illegal for women to wear bras and shorts. Because wearing a bra commits the crime of mistresses; Wearing shorts commits the crime of farting; Men wear underwear, which is even more serious, because of the crime of harboring guns!

8. Playing with love or love, always scolding your mother, and almost having feelings for your mother.

9. I'm going to get a haircut. I twisted my neck with bangs.

10, brother, can you lower the resolution on your face?

1 1, to tell the truth, I only vomit after drinking.

12, eat in the supermarket before the end, preferably until death.

13. Metal detectors are not only used for security inspection, but also used by some people to pick up garbage.

14, what if the world ends? Suicide. Why? Go down and sit down for a while.

15, the person I secretly loved changed his hairstyle yesterday, and I suddenly felt that I had changed my mind.

16, how many people's reputations have been ruined by so-called good friends.

17, a good girlfriend can save you 200G hard disk.

18, China Mobile and China Unicom are husband and wife. Gave birth to a baby named China Telecom!

19, the wind is rustling and the water is cold. If you owe money, you have to pay it back.

As a monster, my wish is to destroy at least one Altman.

2 1, it is said that cutting a flat head is a proud life, so is it smart to cut a pig's head?

22. Laugh for ten years, then laugh at wrinkles.

23. How many people in the world owe you money? It makes you look dead every day, not buried.

24, the three laws of the workplace; : either bear it! Either hard! Or get out!

25. Friendship is like a vase, it will break when you break it.

26. I connected all my memories into a movie, and a tragedy happened.

27. The Smurfs sang to Avatar: When I grow up, I will be you.

28. I chased a bus by taxi in the morning and arrived at the terminal.

29. Either don't work hard or don't work hard.

30. Dreams can't be measured by money, otherwise your dreams will depreciate.

3 1, this book is particularly good, so I have been reluctant to read it.

Since I bought insurance, I haven't looked at the traffic lights when I walk.

33, the disease from the mouth, the disaster from the mouth, shut up the safest!

Although giving up won't kill you, you won't give up even if you die.

35. You must live well, get old slowly, get sick late and die quickly.

36. You are a thick-skinned person, claiming to treat people well.

37, family affairs, state affairs, no money to eat is a big deal!

38. I am human, but you are not me, so you are not human.

You can't eat as a meal, but I'm full as soon as I see you.

40. People have four states: busy, busy, busy and unhurried.

4 1, why are you sleepy when reading? Because books are where dreams begin.

42. That year, Aoi sora was still a virgin, and Guan had no camera.

43. People have lost weight, waist and buttocks. Why do we have to start with brain cells?

44. I asked God: How to be happy at the same time about forget the sorrow. God replied: Drive yourself crazy.

45. When you think that the person you like likes you, you usually think too much.

46, shameless this matter, if done well, is called excellent psychological quality.