Southern metropolis daily

AQ (adversity quotient) is a person's ability to face adversity, which is what we call adversity quotient or frustration quotient. When faced with adversity or frustration, different people will have different reactions. People with high AQ don't flinch in the face of adversity, regard adversity as a driving force to motivate themselves, and exert their greatest potential to overcome difficulties and achieve success. People with low AQ will feel depressed or angry at others when facing difficulties and be defeated. Studies have confirmed that the higher a person's AQ, the more he can turn a crisis into a turning point.

Liu Yin, a graduate student of Beijing Normal University, died on the spot after jumping from a four-story water room because of the difficulty in opening his master's thesis and the pressure of study. According to the analysis of psychological experts in the Navy General Hospital, Liu's suicide behavior is firstly a cognitive error, which takes some things too seriously, and secondly, the solution to frustration is too extreme.

From this, we think of one thing: can high IQ and high EQ succeed? We will encounter adversity at any time, even the smartest people are no exception, but only when we master the ability to face setbacks and transform adversity can we really grow. This ability is called AQ, adversity emotional intelligence. If Liu had received an appropriate education on adversity emotional intelligence since childhood, I believe the tragedy would not have happened.

At present, most families have only one baby, and many parents care too much. Children are used to eating with their mouths open and their clothes stretched. If they are slightly dissatisfied, they will be depressed or angry. Everything comes too easily, and children don't know how to cherish, struggle and care for others. They like material comforts, are used to praise, only love themselves, and don't consider others ... Too smooth growth experience will make children lose their psychological endurance and practical solving ability in the face of adversity. Sooner or later, children will leave us and enter the society. What weapons did we give him/her? This is the truth that it is better to teach people to fish than to teach them to fish.

Emotional intelligence education in adversity should start from the age of children. What are the appropriate methods? In the interview, the reporter found that although many parents are aware of the dangers of helping their children too much, when their children encounter adversity, they don't know how to educate them in time-either do it for them or make them cry. Adversity has been with everyone since the age of 0, so AQ education for children should start from the age of 0. Whether preschool children have the ability to transform adversity depends largely on their parents' reaction and education.

□ Expert advice

Cultivate AQ seven treasures

The reporter interviewed Professor Liu Shixin from Shenzhen Maternal and Child Health Hospital. His view is: the earlier AQ education, the better! In this regard, Liu Jiaoshou also put forward a very practical method, which is of great benefit to parents.

Liu Jiaoshou believes that IQ and EQ have been generally accepted, and AQ is a new term. In fact, it is also a kind of emotional intelligence, which measures people's ability to control emotions in the face of adversity and frustration.

90% of the development of the human brain is completed before the age of 6. If parents make excessive arrangements during this period, children's ability to use their hands and brains will be bound, and children will take a negative approach when they encounter difficulties. On the contrary, if you interfere too much and don't let him do this and that, the child will be helpless when facing the problem alone under excessive protection and control.

The following training can help children improve AQ, so that they have a tough will and the ability to solve practical problems in the face of adversity.

1 Difficulties are not failures.

"Anyone who does things will have difficulties at first", which must be told to children. Parents can encourage their children to stick to it without taking perfection too seriously. Don't rush to help children, let them try to meet the challenge in different ways. If children have difficulty learning to write, they can copy first.

2. Face children with "empathy"

Children of every age have different difficulties and setbacks. The adversity he faced may not be worth mentioning at all in front of adults, but it is a huge blow to children. Parents should look at this matter with the same psychology as their children. For example, it is unacceptable for children to have a pet that they have kept for a long time suddenly lost or died. Parents should tell their children the law of life while accompanying them in grief, help them get out of grief and avoid ridicule and contempt.

Learn self-confidence from parents' attitude

Always give children some difficult tasks and trust them fully. Even if it is broken or causes certain losses, encourage the child to actively help him find out the problem and start over. Tell your child: you can do it! For example, a 2-year-old child holds a bottle out of curiosity. He holds the bottle in one hand, and it will fall when his hand is too small to hold it. At this time, parents can't blame him, but tell him to grasp the thinner part of the bottleneck and encourage him to try again.

4 teach children to learn to wait

From the age of 7-8 months, we need to let children learn to "wait" when asked. For example, when giving a child milk, tell him that the milk can only be drunk when it is cold; When learning fine movements, give the child a piece of candy wrapped in sugar paper and tell him to peel it patiently before eating; When queuing to get on the bus, only by educating children to obey the rules can we achieve our goal. Learning to wait is a great skill for us to cope with adversity.

5 let the children suffer a little.

In addition to giving love, there must be appropriate punishment and good habits, so that the child's good mood can last for a long time. Children should not be willful, selfish, afraid of hardship and fatigue. All this should be decided from an early age for children to abide by. Children should also be encouraged to express their daily feelings, praise positive emotions and guide negative things.

6 don't meet the children's requirements easily.

Let the children understand that if you want something, you must pay for it yourself. Only what you get through your own efforts is the best and the most cherished.

7 Set tasks for children

We give our children a task, which is actually a kind of adversity for them. We hope that children can not only finish it, but also create something. For example, say to the child: "Your paper-cut in kindergarten today is really beautiful, but it was torn by the child. Can you cut a more beautiful one tomorrow? " Of course, this requirement should not be too high. Unrealistic requirements will undermine children's confidence in coping with adversity.

□ Mommy, pay attention.

Qingqing World held a "Mom's Dish" cooking competition.

It is understood that from now until May 10, Qingqing World will hold a "Mother's Cuisine" cooking collection activity to provide opportunities for mothers with good cooking skills to show and exchange cooking skills. The winner's dishes will be included in the "Mom's Recipe" and become the reserved dishes of Qingqing World.

Children's World Nanshan Branch opens

On April 12, Nanshan Branch of Children's World opened. It is reported that Children's World Nanshan Branch is located in Nanshan Cultural and Commercial Center, with an investment of 1.2 million yuan and a business area of about 5,000 square meters. Adhere to the style of Huaqiang North Children's World in operation, and the sales volume reached more than 200,000 yuan on the first day of opening.

□ Mommy paste

◎ Reporter

Do you know AQ? What AQ education have you given your children?

Bao Xiao's mother, her son is two and a half years old.

I only know IQ and EQ, and I have never heard of the word AQ, but I know that it is good for children to try some difficulties and setbacks properly.

Take eating as an example. When Bao Xiao 1 1/2 years old, he always wanted to eat by himself with a spoon, but he couldn't put it in his mouth. I encouraged him, even if he ate less and spilled more, he wouldn't help him. My mother-in-law blames me for not loving children very much. In fact, with my insistence, Bao Xiao can eat independently in a month. I don't feed him if he doesn't eat well. Even if he is not full, I don't give him snacks between meals. Later, he knew that he would starve to death if he didn't eat well, so he is eating well now. I think I taught him the ability to cope with adversity.

Dudu's mother and daughter are 3 years old.

I recently went to the kindergarten to pick up DuDu. As soon as Dudu came out of the classroom, he cried bitterly and said, "I don't have a five-pointed star." The teacher said that there are certain activities every day, such as singing children's songs and doing actions. Children who do well can get a five-pointed star. My mother told DuDu that obedient children have five-pointed stars. Dudu said, "I am very obedient!" " My mother's words increased her frustration. I said to her, "Every child has a chance to get the five-pointed star, and of course there are times when he doesn't. Let other children experience it this time. "

Lele's mother, her son is 6 years old.

Lele fell and cried when she was a child. I will pretend to step on the ground hard. If I was hit by a table, I would pretend to hit it, as if I had avenged him. At that time, he burst into tears and smiled. When I was older, a building block that I had worked hard for a long time was knocked down by other children. He was in tears and he insisted that I "avenge" him.

I don't think I should have taught him that at that time, but I should have reasoned with him: if I walk, I will definitely fall down, and if I am not careful, I will definitely hit the table. This is a law. Now that the building block has been dismantled, you can't blame other children, you can only build a more beautiful one. This has a good effect, and I think this is the correct AQ education.

Wenwen's mother, her daughter is 2 years old.

Wenwen likes me to read story books to her. Sometimes I say, "Wenwen, read it to your mother." She deliberately narrowed her eyes and pretended to be in pain and said, "I can't read." But I encourage her to read with her where she can't. She thinks it's interesting. I don't think children can do things, and adults working with her will strengthen her trust.