1, dish name: whatever you want.
Materials: preferences, appropriate wording, the other person's psychology.
Cooking steps:
(1) Hide your thoughts
(2) Grasp each other's psychology
(3) consider wording that meets the needs of others
Efficacy: gain recognition and goodwill, and achieve the goal.
User experience: it is a good dish. I am a clothing salesman. I used to say, "Sorry, this is the last one. It's gone." Therefore, my product can't be sold, because customers will think it is left over by others, or many people should have tried it, so I won't buy it!
Later, I changed the wording of my speech: "This particularly popular model sells very fast, and it is explosive, so this is the last one." As a result, more people pay for clothes and buy goods quickly. So it's really important to learn to speak.
Conclusion: As long as you get into the habit of thinking about "what you like" and learn to think about others, you will change your previous way of speaking, thus changing your personality, which can be said to be tried and tested in family life and daily work!
2. Name of the dish: something it hates.
Material: worry, proper wording, the other person's psychology.
Cooking steps:
(1) Hide your thoughts
(2) Grasp each other's psychology
(3) consider wording that meets the needs of others
Efficacy: effective for people who are particularly difficult to deal with. Very convincing!
User experience: I once met such a scene when I was dining with my friends in a hot pot restaurant in Chongqing. There are 2-3 mothers chatting with their children in the dining room, and the children are running around in the aisle. The waiter tried to remind customers through the radio: "Please take good care of your children and don't walk and play at will, so as not to affect other customers' meals." Thank you for your cooperation! "
But it doesn't seem to work. At this time, another waiter came to their table and said, "hello, miss, we are going to serve food soon." The soup base of Chongqing hot pot is very hot, and it will be troublesome if the child hits it. " The mothers immediately gathered the children back to the table like shepherds, and the waiter moved them to high chairs!
Conclusion: As long as you get into the habit of thinking about "what you like" and learn to think about others, you will change your previous way of speaking, thus changing your personality, which can be said to be tried and tested in family life and daily work!
3. Name of the dish: Transfer option
Materials: respect, free choice, transfer, proper wording, the psychology of the other party.
Cooking steps:
(1) hide your thoughts;
(2) Grasp each other's psychology;
(3) consider wording that meets the needs of others;
Efficacy: let the other person have a sense of autonomy, and the feeling of being forced to accept is reduced!
User experience: Tell me about my personal experience. My daughter is over 2 years old and has begun to have a sense of autonomy. She has the right to choose her opinion. One morning, I have to go to work and dress my daughter. No matter how I wear it, I can't put the neckline of the skirt around my daughter's neck. Even if you put it on, it will be all kinds of struggles.
At this time, I picked up another dress that she didn't like very much, and another dress that she liked very much, and asked her, honey, choose one by yourself! The baby rushed over, grabbed the one she liked and handed it to me: "I want this", "OK ~!"
Summary: This method is particularly effective in parenting! This will make children feel that they have the right to choose and be fully respected, so that they can better cooperate with you. Of course, this method can't completely solve all the problems. Can be paired with other "dishes", perhaps the effect will be better.
4. Name of the dish: the desire to be recognized
Materials: respect, free choice, transfer, proper wording, and the psychology of the other party;
Cooking steps:
(1) hide your thoughts;
(2) Grasp each other's psychology;
(3) consider wording that meets the needs of others;
Efficacy: meet the needs of respect and achieve your expected results!
User experience: girlfriend experience: In the coffee shop, my girlfriend cried to me: "I just asked him to hang a dress, and he yelled at me for this!" There is no clothes hanger on his parents' balcony. I'm not tall and my eyes are not good. Let him help me dry my clothes. He also said that I have a lot of things to do every day, and it is still ‰※‰ ♂ (three hours are omitted here). . . . . . " .
"Tell him in another way, such as: Husband, I just fell down while hanging clothes. It hurts! Honey, look, I'm freezing from washing clothes. You are taller than me and your eyes are better than mine. After that, please help me dry your parents' clothes and cool mine together, ok? "
Summary: Fully satisfy the other person's desire for identity, even if the other person is difficult to deal with, he will be happy to respond to your request.
5. dish name: it must be.
Material: only you, uniqueness, superiority, proper wording, the other person's psychology;
Cooking steps:
(1) hide your thoughts;
(2) Grasp each other's psychology;
(3) consider wording that meets the needs of others;
Efficacy: let the other party feel that only they have been selected, so they are willing to respond!
User experience: pleasant car repair experience: I generally don't like to go to 4S stores to repair cars. For some minor problems, I will go to a repair shop not far from home for repair, and I often introduce my neighbors to his home.
Because the boss is very kind to me, he often helps me solve some small troubles for free, and the boss is also very polite:
"You have been so supportive and introduced me to so many guests. I won't charge you for this little problem. If you have any questions, you can come to me at any time. This is our gratitude to our loyal and old customers! "
Summary: Let the other party have a sense of superiority and be willing to respond.
6. Name of the dish: teamwork
Materials: "together", team consciousness, proper wording, and the psychology of the other party;
Cooking steps:
(1) hide your thoughts;
(2) Grasp each other's psychology;
(3) consider wording that meets the needs of others;
Efficacy: You are not doing it alone, but we are doing it together, so we are willing to accept it!
User experience: I saw a Japanese story on the Internet. My father is very kind and loves his wife and daughter, but his father is seriously overweight. To this end, his wife and daughter are very worried. They tried to persuade him to exercise more than once, but all ended in failure.
One day, my daughter had an idea: "I miss fun run very much, but I am afraid of being alone. Dad, can you accompany me? "
The "mountain" moved instantly and agreed to run with her daughter. She lost a lot of weight in three months.
Conclusion: With team spirit, even troublesome requests will be readily accepted. In this case, the daughter also "ordered" the second dish that she hated, and took advantage of her father's anxiety to go out alone, successfully making her father move.
7. Name of the dish: Thank you.
Materials: being thanked, trusting, and the other person's psychology;
Cooking steps:
(1) hide your thoughts;
(2) Grasp each other's psychology;
(3) consider wording that meets the needs of others;
Efficacy: Thank you in advance, so it is hard to refuse!
User experience: it is not surprising to say thank you in everything and be polite to many people!
"Can you help me move the table over there? Thank you! " ;
"I'm sorry, this really doesn't work, I'm really sorry!" ;
"If you can come, I will thank you very much for coming!"
Summary: Let the other party vaguely feel respect and trust. Say a sincere thank you in everything, advance your gratitude in advance, and others will not easily refuse your request!
Interpretation of "cooking steps";
First, hide your thoughts (buffer contradictions): don't tell others your thoughts directly without thinking or modifying them;
Second, grasp the other person's psychology (calm thinking): think about how you would react to your straightforward thoughts if you were her. How would you resist? If you think from the opposite side of this resistance, what would you say?
Third, consider the wording that meets the needs of others (in other words): before persuading others, practice convincing yourself, make a long story short, please the curve, constantly deduce yourself, and then practice modifying your response wording.
The wording of the menu comes from the book "The so-called high emotional intelligence is talking" by Japanese writer Keiichi Sasaki. After reading this book, the biggest feeling is that the whole person's personality has improved and his speech has softened, and he is no longer the "lever essence" covered with thorns!