Crosstalk "Reporting the Name of the Dish" by Wang Ping and Zheng Jian

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B: Friends, the cross talk competition is about to start! The program I am participating in is a traditional cross talk called "Reporting the Name of the Dish". Today, I am here to give you a report. Please give me your valuable opinions. Let me tell you the names of the dishes of the Northern and Southern dishes and the Manchu and Han banquets. I treat you to steamed lamb, steamed bear paws, steamed deer tail, roasted duck, roasted chicken, roasted goose, braised pig, stewed duck in sauce, chicken, bacon, loose flower belly, cold pork sausage, assorted crispy plate, sesame and ghee rolls, and steamed eight-treasure pork rice. Stuffed duck, red meatballs, white meatballs, fried meatballs, fried meatballs, Sixi meatballs, shrimp meatballs, fish belly meatballs, assorted meatballs, tofu meatballs, and first-grade meat, cherry meat, horse tooth meat, red braised meat, and yellow braised meat. Meat, red meat...meat...meat...meat...(See A on stage and start to speak incoherently) Meat...meat...

A: What are you doing?

B: Talking about cross talk

A: Which part?

B: Tell me the name of the dish

A: What is your surname?

B: My surname is Zheng.

A: What is your name?

B: Zheng Jian

A: Zheng Jian? (Thoughtfully)

B: It’s me~

A: Never heard of it...

B: I’m new!

A: If you keep talking this way, you will definitely still be a newcomer when you are 99 years old.

B: Why?

A: The way you handle this line is called tasteless and lacks emotional connotation.

B: Ah...what should I say?

A: I have some immature suggestions, should I make them?

B: Please tell me...

A: The dishes you just mentioned are truly modified and embody the wisdom and wisdom of many generations of working people. How can this be done? Just talk about it?

B: I...what should I say?

A: When talking about this cross talk, you must have a sacred sense of historical mission and responsibility. You must think that the ancient country has a long history, and you must think that you are showing Chinese civilization to all mankind. The loud voice, with the power of swallowing up mountains and rivers, conveys the vicissitudes of history with the most beautiful sense of language...

B: Shall I come?

A: You try...

B: (poses his posture and looks at A, then howls) I treat you to some~! ! !

A: (Sit on the ground)

B: Teacher...huh? Teacher... (looking for A)

A: You are not asking people to eat...

B: I am...

A: You are asking people to eat... < /p>

B: How should I perform?

A: The power of swallowing mountains and rivers is not howling...

B: Then I should

A: Try to figure it out for yourself

B: I ask You eat...

A: The problem was found! This person speaks without logic. Do you know what logic is? Your logic is not clear, and the other party cannot understand what you want to express.

Do you know what logical accent is? Tell me again what you said?

B: I’ll treat you to something...

A: Okay, who’s going to treat you to something?

B: Me

A: The logical emphasis should be on "I"

B: Oh, I understand. Look, I'm asking you. Eat...

A: What do you want to do?

B; Treat

A: The word "please" is also accented

B: I treat you to food...

A: You want to treat who?

B: Please

A: Your partner still has the accent

B: I’ll treat you to food...

A: You want it Why ask someone to do it?

B: Eat

A: Eat is still the accent

B: I treat you to eat

A: Are you choking? ! Why are you choking first if you haven't eaten yet? Okay, okay... This is too profound. After you get off the stage, you can figure it out for yourself, and go down...

B: Just go down, steamed lamb

A: Pay attention to the cries...

A: Spill down

B: Steamed deer tail

A: Raise it up~

B: Roasted duck, roasted chicken...

A: Dun! ! (Conductor)

B: Burn...boy...goose...

A: That's roughly what it means. Then again, what I said is not necessarily right. I used to go Just listen to what you said

B: Oh, what you said makes perfect sense

A: I wish you a complete success in the competition

B: Thank you, thank you …

A: Goodbye... (A limped off the stage)

B: (Practice what A just taught)

A: (Change on the stage) ) Hey, wait a minute. Hey, what are you doing?

B: Oops, you didn’t know that an expert just pointed me out and I was practicing naming the dishes. Roasted goose...

A: (Pinch B's mouth) What bastard gave you the idea of ??reciting the names of the dishes?

B: No, what’s wrong?

A: Are you ruining our national art?

B: Me?

A: Crosstalk is a treasure in our Chinese cultural treasure house

B: Yes...

A: What were you doing just now? It’s all a pretense of pseudo-drama!

B: What is a pseudo-drama?

A: So why do you perform like this? ! Jiang Kun talks like this to you? !

B: Then how should I perform?

A: I have some immature suggestions, should I make them?

B: You should talk about it, you should talk about it

A: Even if cross talk needs to borrow something from drama, it must be our national quintessence Peking Opera! Among the three major XX in the world is our national quintessence! Stanislavsky, Blancit, Mei Lanfang, why are you imitating foreign devils? ! There is no sect, no sect, a side door! At a small scale, you are called worshiping foreigners, but at a big scale, you and Wang Jingwei are guilty of the same crime!

B: I'm going to be a man now...

A: Are you going to talk it over?

B: What are your plans!

A: It is full of success and tone, and it is well-organized. It is best to add the unique figure of our Chinese drama, and the willows in the wind will be full of emotion. Only then can it be beyond its heart and its essence.

B: Should I add the name of the dish and my figure?

A: Do you dare to be the first to eat crabs? River crabs...

B: (Talk a few words) How do you add this? !

A: Just add whatever you mentioned!

B: I don’t understand

A: For example, let’s talk about steamed lamb

B: What about me?

A: Add the figure of a sheep

B: What is the figure of a sheep?

A: Let me treat you to steamed lamb (make a gesture, raise one leg and make horn-like shapes with both hands)

B: Ah~~ I understand! ! Come on, let me do it! I treat you to steamed lamb! (Golden rooster in independent posture, hands open very wide)

A: This is a buffalo...how can it have such big horns? ! Why! ! That's right! ! (Correction of posture) Not bad, I have it on me, I’ll give it as soon as I ask

B: Oh... this is steamed lamb... So do you think this is what I will do next? Steamed bear paw! ! (Lunge, lick left hand)

A: Why are you applauding for this? ! This palm is useless! ! Who dares to eat it if you lick it so dirty? ! Change your palm! Protrude the palm position a little higher, yes! !

B: Oh...that's it!

A: That’s almost it! But then again, what I say may not be right. So I say it, so you listen to it.

B: What you said makes sense!

A: Come on, I wish you a complete success in the competition! See you later! I came without a hat, right?

B: It seems that you don’t ride a motorcycle either...

A: See you later, what about you~~

B: The name of this dish needs to be changed. Become... (Repeat what you just taught)

A: (Change into clothes) Stop, stop, stop! ! Stop acting! What's the difference between acting like this and acting like a monkey? !

B: What is playing monkey? !

A: Who asked you to perform like this? !

B: This is not... (helpless) What's wrong? !

AB: I have some immature suggestions, should I make them?

B: I knew that was the sentence! !

A: First of all, let me declare that I don’t understand art...

B: Huh? !

A: But I am a kind person! I know that humans eat to live, but living should not be just for eating! Human beings are becoming more and more greedy, and their desire for food is becoming more and more shameless! The innocent and lively little lamb was steamed just because it was said to be steamed? ! The tail of the sika deer, a national second-level protected animal, is also on the dining table? ! If you dare to eat the bear's paw and dare to swallow the shark's fin, instead of feeling ashamed, you will feel happy! ! Where is the conscience? ! Where is the law of heaven? ! This cross talk is a denunciation of the cruelty of animals by the senior cross talk! It's a pity that none of you descendants of cross talk can understand the true meaning of this cross talk! ! Animals are our human friends, closely related to us, and we are brothers and sisters! ! How can you steam it if you say it is steamed, and fry it if you say it is fried? ! So if you want to say this cross talk well, you have to be full of grief and indignation, suppress your anger, feel guilty, and say with infinite sadness...

AB: (Gradually crying) I treat you to steamed lamb and steamed bear paws. Steamed deer tail, roasted flower duck, roasted chicken, roasted goose, braised pork, braised duck sauce, chicken, bacon and loose belly... Ahaha... (stomp the ground three times, beat the chest three times) cold meat sausage...

A: That’s what he said... (interrupted by B, he stopped talking several times)

B: (crying) Oops...

A: A bit too much , it’s a bit too much... stop it...

B: Oops...

A: No, this guy is in the show...

B: It’s not acting. I am telling the truth! ! !

A: Then why are you so sad

B: What else can I say about my cross talk...

A: (Push B, stop B , bowed and left the stage)

B: (He suddenly burst into tears after taking two steps and pushed A off the stage. End.

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