Lazy, his mother hung the baked pie around her neck, went out to visit relatives, and came back to find her son starved to death. He finished eating the cake on his mouth and was too lazy to turn the doughnuts, so he had to starve to death.
Another slacker, his wife asked him to buy a case board to cut vegetables. He was too lazy to go and said, just cut it on my back. I was bleeding on the spot when my wife asked him, does it hurt? He said, why doesn't it hurt? "Then why didn't you shout?" "I'm too lazy to shout."
I think the laziness of these two people is at its peak. It is impossible for ordinary people to use their lives to achieve the reputation of "lazy world"
Recently, a friend of mine, Gao Xiao, told an anecdote about some rising stars in the lazy world in his company. I'm impressed. This is really:
The lazy man pushes the waves before him, and the waves make people unable to catch up. Only the predecessors are invincible, and it seems unusual today.
How are these lazy stars excavated? You know, these lazy people just want to hide their merits and fame and are too lazy to show them to others!
As a result of a fire in an Internet cafe, the whole city requires a major investigation to find out all the hidden dangers of the fire.
Several police uncles from the police station went to Gao Xiao's company and made an appointment with the personnel department, propaganda department and housekeeper of the company to inspect the workers' dormitory. The result is jaw-dropping. Many people live in kennels. It's hard to get rid of them. It smells disgusting. Dirty clothes, smelly socks and gray Qi Fei.
Into a room, the ground is full of cigarette butts. Hundreds of large and small * * * cluttered the floor. People use tiles and boards to lay the floor. Do you want to use cigarette butts to lay the floor?
I entered another room, and the ground was full of wine bottles. Police comrades and company entourage can't step on it. As soon as they stepped on it, they were full of wine bottles. Unless you have the skills of an acrobat, you will fall badly. Dude, are you drinking, or is the wine drinking you? Are you taking a bath with wine?
These two things, that's nothing. Finally, the "five lazy people" were judged, which was equivalent to the "five old beggars" written by Gu Long.
Let's talk about the fifth lazy. This man is a middle-aged man and an old worker. His story is that he has lived in a dormitory for six years and his quilt cover has never been washed. In the past six years, his quilt cover has been ravaged, and the original background color has been impossible to verify. Now the colors are neck and neck. Coupled with six years of body odor infiltration and sweat erosion, it is really tasteless. Let people hide their noses and avoid them. Later, the company executives heard about him and forced him to wash the quilt cover. They were worried: Will it pollute our rivers?
At the head of the middle-aged worker's master's bed, we found a shadow the size of a washbasin, which stood out on the white wall. A shiny black chess piece, I don't know what it is for. Later, when I asked him, I realized that this guy was watching TV in bed. Over time, the bedside just smeared a stain on the back of the head, black and oily, reflecting light, like a black sun covering the bedside. Six years of kung fu is really not shallow, and white walls can change faces.
Come and see the fourth lazy man. This man is a man in his thirties. Lazy people have good taste and drink tea. Zhang also has a hobby, like to pour leftover tea leaves on the ground. Don't put it in the trash can, don't rush into the sewer, don't cover it with flowerpot soil, just tilt it and the tea roots will precipitate on the floor. Yesterday, the day before yesterday, last week and last month, the water has dried up, leaving only boring thin stems and leaves, which are densely covered on the floor. This is using tea instead of floor tiles. As soon as the investigators settled down and stepped on the tea field, they felt that they were in the forest in late autumn, with leaves all over the ground and their feet soft and crisp. To achieve this feeling of feet, it will take at least a year or two to spill the remaining tea roots? A man's patience is rare. He can persist in doing something for a long time and do it to the extreme. Is it easy for him?
Third lazy. This man is twenty years old. When the police uncle came to his bedroom, he found two beds side by side. On one bed, there is a complete mattress and quilt. There is no quilt on the bed next door, but it is full of drunk milk bottles, used lunch boxes, empty cigarette cases and littered disposable chopsticks. The ground is littered with garbage, all kinds of food wrapping paper, all kinds of bottle caps, all kinds of melon seeds, peanut shells, orange peels and stones. ...
It turns out that the purpose of this person's extra bed is to throw garbage. He was lying in bed, eating and drinking, and the garbage was thrown on the bed next to him. If it can't be piled on the bed, it will be scattered on the ground.
This young man, you slept with garbage for so long, didn't you leave a place for your future wife? Moreover, these garbage are left untreated for a long time, and the sour taste is really strong. When you fall asleep with a strong smell, aren't there any nightmares bothering you? How strong a nose or heart do you have?
Second lazy. This man is also a young worker in his twenties. As soon as the inspector entered his bedroom, he was stunned by three stacked beds. The following two big beds are placed side by side, opposite a small bed. Is this a floor made of beds? How did you sleep here?
Don't worry, don't worry, mountain people have their own tricks.
He got in through the gap under the small bed and lay under it. In this way, the following strange image is formed: a person sleeps in a bed, and another single bed is on his waist, flying in the air.
Dude, reinvent the wheel, but why? So this guy likes playing computer games. The single bed of this flying rack is used as a computer desk. After work, I sit on the bed and play games. The computer is placed on a huge "computer desk". When you are tired, you fall asleep, wake up, sit up and play again. He is experienced in doing sit-ups. He is tired of playing games. He slept on his back and sat up to continue playing.
What is the combination of a whimsical brain and a lazy and amazing body? When God created man, was he asleep? How much brainpower did your brother have to spend to save this little physical strength before he came up with this coup? Perhaps, for this clever brain, it is a blink of an eye. If so, we can only sigh.
Dangdang Dangdang, the first place came out. The young man is young, but he won the first prize in Lazy World. It's comforting.
Stop a line of people standing at the door of his room, I saw the ground is full of money. Yes, you're right. The money is in one place. It's all one yuan and fifty cents, not scattered, everywhere.
Of course, there are still dirty clothes and smelly socks in the corner, otherwise how can we live up to the name 1
This is the rich young master, coming to work and study? Or is there too much money to put down and you can only use the floor as a wallet?
It turns out that this buddy, every time he takes something out of his pocket, the change will flow down and blossom everywhere. Him? He's too lazy to pick it up! It's tiring to bend over several times for your figure, isn't it
Once or twice, it doesn't matter. It's been like this for a long time. Look, isn't this colorful and shiny ground decorated creatively? I don't know how many times the feeling of stepping on it is higher than that of the man who uses tea to lay the floor.
It is said that this rich young man never washes clothes. Underwear, underwear, socks and even coats, as long as they are dirty, one word: throw them away. Look at the pile of clothes with complicated smells in the corner and you will know its shape.
What about the tooling issued by the factory? Throw it away when it's dirty? Said to take it to the laundry to pay the cleaning fee. Anyway, we have money. What are we afraid of?
Once, his roommate couldn't stand it anymore and urged him to clean the room. The man picked up the dustpan broom, swept the money and other sundries on the ground into the dustpan and poured them into the trash can! He doesn't blink, no matter what he throws, it's 3.5 thousand, no matter whether he throws money or not.
So what the inspectors see today is the accumulation state after cleaning once in a certain year and month. How much money do you have to throw on the ground all day to save such a spectacular sight?
These lazy five masters usually seem to go to work on time like everyone else, but the life behind them is willing to be accompanied by garbage, and even they are becoming garbage people. How decadent is the lifestyle and quality of life reflected by this? If it comes down to lazy words, it seems to be lazy itself. Further investigation is the lack of self-responsibility and self-management ability, which leads to self-discipline and even basic personal hygiene, not to mention being responsible for the whole family and our own future.
People who can read this article will definitely not get along like this. And beyond this realm, people can't see this article. So it's no use talking too much, just listen as a joke. If we can contribute some jokes to the contemporary version of "Laughter in the Woods", the author will be satisfied.