Give three practical methods, and let's learn them quickly.
1. Be sure to collect each other's information extensively.
Take advantage of all the paths you can grasp, such as the first exposure of social networking sites, and the second exposure of information from friends or Weibo.
For example, I have a best friend, Xiao Xiao, who chatted on social networking sites for three days and hit it off with a younger brother. On social networking sites, my brother only has a photo of his work and business, and Xiaoxiao also consulted a little financial knowledge and views with their common financial circle. When the peers meet, it is particularly predestined, and it is logical to add WeChat.
This is called lowering the other side's guard and choosing topics that both sides know to narrow the safe distance. However, after adding WeChat, the amount of information came up at once. Xiaoxiao found that little brother was still a gourmet explorer. Friends circle shares various restaurants and food reviews every three to five times. Another foodie smile, I feel that there are many things to talk about, but the question is how to talk?
Here I'll help Xiaoxiao analyze the depth information first. For example, they all go shopping, but we can see this person's taste and consumption concept. Xiaoxiao likes homemade food at ordinary times and spends half a day studying online celebrity recipes on weekends. They pay attention to beauty in cooking and have novel shapes.
Watch my little brother's food sharing. Because my little brother is a native of Beijing, most of them are not particularly expensive but very grounded old Beijing snack bars, and there are many photos and dinners with friends.
Laugh and say, Andy, I'm a little depressed. I feel that his level is not high, and the food he eats is not very expensive and high-end. You don't know, the ingredients in my cooking are very elegant. Doesn't it mean that if you choose a person, you must choose something with similar tastes, because eating is a lifetime? How can I make this boy eat delicious?
It is said that one person's stomach develops well before he is four years old, and another person likes to eat old Beijing dishes. This can't arbitrarily think that he is low and has poor taste. We often say that three views are the same in a relationship. For example, you eat fried dough sticks and soybean milk every day, and I eat western-style steak every day. But if we live in peace, it doesn't mean that the three views are different.
However, if you say that I am a China person pretending to be foreign, I say that you are a bumpkin who can't afford to pretend to be elegant. This mutual criticism is eager to keep up with the direction. This is the difference between the three views. We can't tolerate each other. If we want to continue to get along, we need to seek common ground while reserving differences.
So I smiled and said, mm-hmm, then I'll just get to know the local customs and ask the boy what's interesting about these shops or what feelings he has for him.
Sure enough, like a chatterbox, the boys began to share their growing experiences and preferences with Xiaoxiao. Xiaoxiao told me, stop it, Andy, what he said, I really found a lot of food culture that I didn't understand, and I also shared pictures of my cooking with him by the way. He really didn't see the little girl so hard.
Do you like my performance better? This is the first step. When chatting, dig deep into the information first. If you find information that you don't agree with, but the other person likes it very much, be patient. Maybe there is a hole in the sky.
At the same time, you listened to your little brother's sharing, which also gave him emotional value. By the way, you got the opportunity to show your strengths and upgraded your gentle and versatile impression in his heart.
2. Talk back to the meaning method.
Regarding the information mining of boys' circle of friends, since my little brother has shown a lot of food culture in old Beijing with Xiaoxiao, Xiaoxiao needs to reveal his preferences in order to reciprocate. Otherwise, it is easy for boys to mistakenly think that Xiaoxiao is also interested in small restaurants, so naturally they invite small restaurants to eat directly.
Laughing, I really think eating in a small restaurant will cause diarrhea, which makes me sick. What should I do? So Xiaoxiao should take the initiative to introduce his usual dietary preferences, but because after all, it is quite different from boys, it is not good for my little brother to think that we are not the same kind of people and give up pursuing, so I asked Xiaoxiao to add some ceremonial things when introducing his preferences.
For example, I said with a smile, I especially like hot pot culture, perhaps because I am afraid of loneliness, so the steaming makes me feel very warm; For another example, if you like food with a smile, you can say that I am a food artist. I think respecting the characteristics of ingredients and giving full play to their best side in life is respect for food, just as I especially respect your favorite Beijing culture.
This will let the boys know their preferences, and at the same time, they will feel that the smile is unique. After all, interesting girls have personalities, and they are definitely different.
3. Grasp the stage chat.
In addition to food, they also talked about the experience of food and humanistic feelings. In the process of constructing the chat, both sides released their own connotations to each other. The so-called mutual display, soul communication has been completed more than half, so Xiaoxiao chatted with boys very speculatively, and boys also invited Xiaoxiao to meet.
However, it should be noted that on the first date, even if you two have laid a good foundation before, you should still pay attention to the fact that this is the first time you meet, and you should still grasp the staged characteristics of chatting. For example, if a boy wants to establish a relationship with you, or even have sex with you for the first time, will you feel uncomfortable too soon? So the chat after meeting still follows the original rhythm, but it also pulls back a little.
You can talk about the work unit and academic experience you haven't talked about online, so you can ask these questions like a traditional blind date, because knowing the basic information after you have a good impression on each other will make both parties feel that everyone is sincere, interesting and reliable.