After seeing news reports that Guo Gangtang spent 24 years and rode hundreds of thousands of kilometers to find his lost son, and finally met his beloved son again, Lin Jianfeng, who was nearly fifty years old His eyes became wet again. Through the words, he could feel a father's deep love and responsibility for his children.

Looking back at his 80-year-old father, who had been paralyzed in bed, he couldn't help but think of his long-dead brother Lin Jianguo. The sound of his father's labored coughing and phlegm made him think again. Hatred in his heart, such a selfish and cruel man is his biological father. This is something that Lin Jianfeng cannot choose or escape in his life.

As long as Lin Jianfeng can remember, the appearance of his family has been his father’s roar, his mother’s tears, and his brother’s bruises and bruises. One thing that impressed him most was that when he was only four years old, he was woken up by his brother's cry in the middle of the night. As usual, he hid under the quilt and did not dare to make a sound. He saw his brother kneeling on the ground, crying. He begged his father: "I want to study, I want to go to junior high school, I like to study..."

Accompanied by his brother's sobbing and begging, his father was already impatient: "You go to school..." What kind of school do you want to go to? I’ve given you a chance to finish elementary school, but you still dream of going to junior high school?”

“Please, dad! Just let me continue studying. I promise to do the housework after school.” Do a better job and take better care of your brother..." The elder brother started to kowtow in anxiety.

"Don't worry about calling me daddy, you bastard! If you want to go to school, go find your real daddy!" Dad said and kicked his brother to the ground. At this time, the mother standing on the side also knelt down and said while crying: "Let the child continue to study! He studies so well, what a pity it would be if he doesn't study! He will repay you in the future... ."

"Get out! Don't bother me here, it's time for me to go to bed!" After that, my father slapped my mother on the face and went to bed. Jianfeng saw his mother hugging his brother, and the two of them cried together, but they did not dare to cry loudly. Jianfeng silently lifted the quilt, got off the ground, and hugged his mother and brother. There was already some coolness in the north at the end of August. His mother saw his bare feet and hugged him to the bed again. He ran to the ground again, picked up his brother, and asked him to sleep with him.

In the early 1970s, their family of four lived in a room of only 20 square meters. Jianfeng remembered that night, his mother carefully walked to the big bed and lay down softly. He slept next to his father, while he hugged his brother tightly and slept on a small bed. He was only four years old and clearly remembered that his brother shed tears that night because he could always feel his sobbing. The sound is intermittent.

When I woke up the next morning, my father was still sleeping soundly in bed with my mother in his arms. Although my mother had opened her eyes, she lay in his arms and did not dare to move. However, my brother had already fallen asleep. Started busy in the kitchen preparing breakfast for the family of four.

The mother finally waited until her father turned over and was about to get up. The father pulled her back to the bed: "Why are you so anxious to get up?"

"I have to." Go to the kitchen and help Niu Niu prepare breakfast!" Mother responded.

"Don't go, just stay with me in bed!" After his father said that, he said to Jianfeng: "Go and ask your brother to help you get dressed. You go to the kitchen to have breakfast first. !”

So Jianfeng got up, walked to the door with his bare feet, opened the door and asked his brother to help him get dressed, and then followed his brother to the kitchen for breakfast until his father opened the locked door. The two brothers can only return to the room after they have finished breakfast. At this time, the elder brother had to quickly heat up the cold breakfast, and it had to be hot enough to eat comfortably, otherwise he would be beaten and scolded by his father who was eager to eat breakfast.

Because his brother no longer goes to school, Jianfeng no longer has to be sent to Grandma Wang’s house next door every day. His brother takes him with him every day and takes care of him at the same time. The two brothers only have time to play like children in the morning when their parents have just left for work, but they are limited to playing with their brother at home. Sometimes, the elder brother would take out the elementary school textbooks he had read and try to teach the four-year-old Jianfeng how to read. Every time at this time, Jianfeng would be perfunctory and then continue to cry, and the elder brother would carefully put the textbooks away. After playing with him for a while, it's time to cook for his parents who need to go home for lunch.

My father usually takes a nap after lunch. At this time, my mother will help my brother clean up the dishes and tidy the table. After my parents go to work in the afternoon, my brother will coax his younger brother to take a nap. Jianfeng is vaguely anxious. , I sometimes wake up from a nap and find my brother reading. Sometimes I squat on the ground and wipe the floor carefully with a rag. Sometimes I sit on a small bench and pick vegetables... Because when my parents get off work, my brother needs to be ready. dinner.

My father is from the south. He is fair and thin, with thin eyebrows and eyes. In that era, he should have been a person with bad black-type five elements. He went to the countryside to Beidahuang and now works as a worker in the factory workshop. Worker; mother is a typical northern girl, plump and tall, with beautiful eyebrows. She is a temporary worker in the factory. My father is much older and my mother is much older. In Jianfeng's memory, they must be more than ten years old.

At that time, Jianfeng could not understand why his young and beautiful mother was so afraid of his father.

It wasn't until he grew up that he understood that his mother, because she was young and beautiful, couldn't bear the pursuit of the male classmates in the class who she liked in the class. As soon as she graduated from junior high school, she began to fall in love secretly without telling her parents, and tasted the forbidden fruit until Found out she was pregnant. In those days, this was absolutely a shameful thing, as serious as committing a capital crime. My mother didn't dare to tell her parents, so she tried her best to run and jump from high places. She kept hitting her abdomen, hoping that the child would leave her body, until her family discovered the abnormality, and finally couldn't hide it anymore. Her mother was afraid that her boyfriend would be beaten up by her father, so she ran out of the house in advance to tell her. She asked her boyfriend to run away early. Since then, her mother has never seen her boyfriend again. As a result, her mother was beaten hard by her father. There was no financial compensation at that time. Every family was so poor that they could not even eat enough to eat. For the sake of his daughter’s reputation, my grandfather had no choice but to marry his daughter off to the father who was sent to the countryside to Beidahuang and had the worst status. Soon she was married off. A brother was born.

The rumors around them made it difficult for the parents to hold their heads up. The mother stayed at home all day long to take care of his father and brother. Until Jianfeng was born, his father began to think of ways to take the whole family to a heavy-duty hospital in a small town in the northeast. He worked as a worker in a machinery factory, and his two children gradually grew up. Many of his peers who went to the countryside together returned to big cities in the south, but my father, because he had already married and started a business in the Northeast, could never return to his hometown.

As life changed, his father's temper began to become irritable, and his inner injustice gradually turned into day-by-day anger, which was vented on his family members minute by minute. Only Jianfeng, he Your own flesh and blood can survive. Ever since Jianfeng could remember, his father had been like this.

One winter night, when his father was about to lie in bed and rest, he found that he had run out of cigarettes. He immediately pulled his brother out of the bed and said, "Go buy me a pack of cigarettes!" After that, he threw the cigarette money to his brother again.

My brother quickly got dressed and went out. It was the weather in the twelfth lunar month and his clothes were thin. It was already eight o'clock in the evening. All the shops and canteens should be closed, even the little Jianfeng. You know, my brother has no place to buy cigarettes.

Two hours passed and my brother hadn’t come back yet. My mother began to worry, but she didn’t dare to say anything. She looked out the window over and over again. Then there was a knock on the door. It was Grandma Wang next door who was leading her brother. Came home: "This child was standing outside the house in the middle of the night and did not dare to enter the house. What mistake did he make? Talk to the child carefully. He is so cold that he can't even speak!" ”

My father was still lying on the bed, whether he was pretending to sleep or really asleep. My mother held her brother in her arms and shed tears silently. She gently helped him take off his clothes and let him go. My brother went to bed, but his father suddenly got up at this time: "Why are you sleeping, you stupid pig? You can't buy cigarettes. There are cigarette butts all over the floor. Pick up a few and take them home, so I can roll a cigarette." !" After saying that, he got off the ground and pulled his brother out of the bed. At this time, his face was already full of tears. He still put on his clothes, took a flashlight, and went out to pick up things for his father again. The cigarette butts were gone, and the mother ignored her father's dissuasion and ran out with her brother and didn't come back until very late.

That night, my mother helped my father take out the tobacco from the cigarette butts and rolled a few cigarettes for his father. After my father finished smoking the cigarettes, he yelled at his mother: "Neither of you are allowed to go to bed tonight. ! It’s embarrassing for me. The neighbors thought I was abusing you! They thought I didn’t let the children sleep in the house! Well, Niu Niu, you are not allowed to sleep in the house!”

The father dragged his brother to the kitchen and made him kneel facing the wall without moving. Instead, he went back to the house to sleep with peace of mind. Jianfeng knew that his mother also went to the kitchen to accompany his brother. At this time, Jianfeng did not dare to say anything. He was afraid that his father would yell at him. He was really scared at that time!

At noon that day, my father started to take a nap after lunch. When my mother saw that Jianfeng had also fallen asleep, she called her brother to her side. She took out a stack of books from her old bag. Carefully handed it to my brother: "This is a book that mom secretly bought for you. It's called "Journey to the West". If you have time and feel bored at home, just read this book."

My brother took it carefully. He picked up the book and did not say a word. Instead, he glanced at his mother gratefully and began to read it gently. His father accidentally turned over, scaring his brother so much that he immediately hid the book under his pillow and began to read it. I cleaned up the dishes with my mother.

That afternoon, Jianfeng saw his brother carefully wrapping the new school covers with old newspapers, and then carefully placing them under his pillow. Then he looked at Jianfeng and said: "Little monkey, don't Let Dad see these books, okay?"

Jianfeng nodded obediently and responded seriously: "Yes, I know, Brother Niu Niu."

Father is also happy sometimes. When I was a child, I would also buy some snacks at home, which were only a few snacks of that era, such as orange candies and bear biscuits. Every time my father put the snacks into the tin box, he would say something to his brother. : “I bought this for your brother. He is small and only children can eat snacks.

”

One night, Jianfeng suddenly wanted to eat snacks, so his brother brought two biscuits to Jianfeng. While Jianfeng was eating one, he stuffed the other one into his brother’s mouth, which happened to be When his father went to the bathroom and returned to the house, he bumped into him. His father suddenly knocked all the biscuits in Jianfeng's hand to the ground. Jianfeng was so frightened that he cried. His father shouted impatiently: "Hurry up and coax your brother, how big a kid he is. How dare you eat your brother's snacks. ”

My brother hugged Jianfeng in his arms with red eyes. Jianfeng seemed to understand something and stopped crying immediately. At that time, my brother was only a thirteen-year-old child!

Whenever this happens, the mother will hide in the kitchen. She cannot bear to see her child suffer, but every time the mother helps her brother, she gets even more cruel treatment from the father: “If you dare to make any noise again, take your wild child and get out of this house! ”

The mother, who only survived in the small town through her father’s relationship, knew that she was unable to raise her child. In those days, there was no such thing as going out to work, and even divorce was a shame and moral Synonymous with corruption.

One Sunday in the summer, my father suddenly became interested. After lunch, he suggested that the family go out for fun, so he rode his bicycle with Jianfeng on his back and his mother who was riding the bicycle. Together, they came to the river. Jianfeng remembered that outing and had a lot of fun in the river. Naturally, his brother was left at home alone because he had to buy food, cook and clean the house. < /p>

When a family of three returned home, they found that the sheets and curtains that the father asked his brother to wash were already drying in the yard of the family building, but there was no movement in the kitchen at home. The pot was cold and the stove was cold. Even Jianfeng felt uncomfortable. After getting used to it, my father suddenly opened the door and found that his brother had hurriedly stuffed a book under the pillow. My father pulled his brother to the ground, took out the books, picked up the book and smashed the book on his brother. On the face, the brother did not cry, but bent down to pick up the book, and carefully placed the book under the pillow. The father kicked the brother to the ground, punched, kicked and cursed. The mother She cried and rushed forward, trying her best to pull her father away, but no matter how strong a woman was, she couldn't compare to a man. Her mother was kicked to the ground by her father, and then he angrily took Jianfeng out for dinner. When I got home and saw my mother who was cooking and my brother lying on the bed, I got angry again: "You still have the nerve to eat, why are you all starving to me! Who gave you the money to buy the book? Did you steal it? "

"You know I have given you all my salary! This is a book I bought for my children with the money I earned from knitting for others. Why can’t it be used? You don’t let your children go to school, and you don’t even let them read books? "The mother said word by word.

"What book is he reading? ! He doesn't even deserve to live. Without this kid, you wouldn't be in a hurry to marry me, and I wouldn't live in such a depressing little place all my life! "When he thought of this, his father kicked his mother, and his brother hugged his mother. That time was the hardest beating that mother and son had ever received, so that when the mother went to work the next day, she had to explain to her colleagues that she The injury on his face was caused by an accidental fall while riding a bicycle on Sunday.

As for my brother, he couldn't take Jianfeng out to buy groceries for those two days, and his father specially asked the two of them. The children are not allowed to go out to play. In fact, the two children are rarely allowed to go out to play. Maybe the father is afraid that the neighbors will see the bruises on his body, old and new.

Life is like this! Day by day, for my brother, it must be a day of suffering! Finally, it’s time for Jianfeng to go to elementary school, and my brother has become a handsome man with thick eyebrows and big eyes. A five-year-old boy.

When Jianfeng first started school, his elder brother would carefully wrap the covers of his younger brother's books. Every night, the older brother would sharpen his younger brother's pencils and ask his younger brother what he had studied during the day. What, whenever his father sat next to Jianfeng and urged him to do his homework, Jianfeng could detect the disappointment and envy on his brother's face.

That night, Jianfeng, who was sleeping, was suddenly touched by his parents. He was awakened by the noise: "If you don't serve me well, you will continue to do it forever!" Niu Niu, it would be nice for him to be alive. Without me, you two might have died long ago! Shut up. "After that, he kicked his mother under the bed.

"The cows are getting bigger and bigger, we should also

think about the future of our children! He must find a job! "The mother insisted.

"His job is to take care of this family! It would be nice to give him food to eat! Shut up and don't disturb my sleep. "After his father finished speaking, he turned over and went to sleep.

Jianfeng saw his brother walking out of bed and hugging his mother. It was not until his father fell into a deep sleep that his mother dared to go to bed. He continued to sleep, and that night, Jianfeng knew that his brother had not slept all night.

When he came home from school the next day, Jianfeng did not find his brother when he returned home. He felt strange until his mother got off work and saw. When Jianfeng was home alone, he felt strange and asked casually: "Where is Brother Niu Niu? "

"When I was out of school, he was not at home! "Jianfeng said.

The mother looked around and found that today’s home was kept extremely neat and tidy by her brother. Mother and son were close to each other. The mother suddenly had a premonition of something unexpected. She hurriedly went through the cabinet and lifted the pillow, and finally found the two things left by her brother. Letters, one to my mother and one to Jianfeng.

After her mother read the letter, she rushed out like crazy; while Jianfeng was too young to understand his brother's letter, but he was so frightened that he began to cry loudly. Everyone could hear his cry, so all the families gathered at his home. This was when his father returned home from get off work. Suddenly so many people came to the usually deserted home, and his father was stunned.

"Why don't you go to the riverside and take a look? Maybe the child Niu Niu is gone!" At the neighbor's reminder, the father went out.

The neighbor carefully placed the letter he got from Jianfeng on the table, then went to the kitchen to prepare some food for Jianfeng. He opened the lid of the steamer and found that his brother was steaming The good steamed buns were still warm, and there was a big one in the middle. The smaller the steamed buns went towards the outer circle, the basket was full of them. The neighbor suddenly burst into tears: "What a wonderful child!"

< p> "Yes! What a good child! His father also looks gentle and kind, how could he treat this child like this!" The neighbors shook their heads and cried. In fact, no matter how much the father hid it, the neighbors We also know the fact that our brother was abused!

Jianfeng did not go to school the next day, but stayed with his mother. My brother's body was only recovered from the shore and transported to the river in the afternoon of the next day. When my mother saw her brother's body, she immediately fell on him and cried heartbreakingly: "My child! You Why can't you endure it any longer? If you endure it for a few more years, your mother will send you to join the army! You will survive, and your mother will completely raise you!"

Then! Ri Jianfeng's eyes began to be full of hatred when he looked at his father. He knew that the brother who grew up with him every day, took care of his food and clothing, covered him with quilts when he slept, and told him stories before going to bed, had completely destroyed him. left him.

After his brother left, Jianfeng rarely heard his mother speak again. The atmosphere at home was extremely dull. His mother began to run the family silently, letting his father roar and scold him, and stopped saying a word, just like a Like a living dead, looking into the distance with empty eyes all day long, Jianfeng was very afraid that his mother had gone insane, but every time he hugged his mother and got close to her, her mother would give him a warm smile in return.

Following his brother's instructions in his letter to study hard, Jianfeng began to study hard. He knew that he was also doing it for his brother who could not continue studying. After completing his studies, he finally passed the college entrance examination with a rate of only At the age of 0.7%, I was admitted to East China Normal University and finally had the opportunity to study in my father's hometown.

During the first vacation after entering school, Jianfeng returned home and found that his mother was often unusually excited. She would say to him from time to time: "It's great that you have grown up. You will be great after graduation." I can finally start a family and feel relieved!"

"Mom, I will take the postgraduate entrance examination after graduation. I will study as long as I can. I want to study hard!" Jianfeng said.

"Yes! Niu Niu has loved reading since she was a child!" After her mother said this, tears flowed out. The excitement she had just felt suddenly turned into sadness, which surprised even Jianfeng. He knew that his mother missed his brother, and he didn't too!

At this time, his father was watching TV alone, because apart from watching TV, he had nothing to do in this house while he was awake. His mother had already ignored him, and Jianfeng I just had something to talk to my father about.

On the second holiday after entering school, when Jianfeng returned home, his mother disappeared. His father just said lightly: "Your mother is looking for your brother!"

From then on, father and son became strangers. Jianfeng completed his studies through work-study alone, and relied on his own efforts to start a family, get married and have children. It was not until his father was old that he could no longer take care of himself, and Jianfeng took his father to his side.

The old father was silent all day long, and Jianfeng also turned a deaf ear to his father. His wife kept urging him to be nicer to his father. One day, Jianfeng finally got impatient and shouted at him. The wife yelled: "Don't bother me anymore. I have treated him with all my kindness and justice, and I feel at ease!"

He told his father's story to his wife, and then the wife understood her husband's psychology and buried her brother deeply. In the shadow of Mom, his life can actually be very happy." Jianfeng sighed.

"Yes! If it hadn't been for your brother and your mother was so young and beautiful, she wouldn't have been able to marry your father who was not of good standing back then and might have been a bachelor for the rest of his life! If your father had never If you think about things from another angle and know how to be grateful, your life will be completely different!” said my wife.

"Yes! It was my father's narrow-mindedness, selfishness, indifference, and cruelty that changed my supposedly happy life beyond recognition. If my grateful mother hadn't taken care of me, maybe I would have lost my life earlier. Mother.

"Jianfeng said, and put his arm around his wife's shoulders: "Now that my father is old, he is pitiful. It is a good thing that you are willing to be kind to him and fulfill your filial piety; but I will always think of my brother Niu Niu. , he is so pitiful, in that era, there was not even a neighborhood committee aunt who could save him and help him! Whenever I think of my brother, I hate my father. I have no choice but to control myself! ”

Yes! Father, please forgive me for not being able to respect you and honor you from the bottom of my heart, because you really don’t deserve it!