A collection of 10 classic humorous jokes
A collection of 10 classic humorous jokes. We usually like to read some humorous jokes when we have nothing to do. This can relieve our work pressure, make ourselves laugh, and tell others. Next, I will take you through a collection of 10 classic humorous jokes. 10 classic humorous jokes 1
1. The woman said: Why do you look so old-fashioned?
The man said: If you like the RMB, do you still care about the year it was issued?
2. Xiaohui asked the leader for instructions: "Boss, during the Qingming Festival holiday, I want to go back to my hometown to visit tombs and worship ancestors." The leader said: "Okay, remember to wear a mask, hat, and sunglasses."
Xiaohui: "Thank you for your concern, leader. It's not too hot recently so I won't get tanned."
Leader: "I mean, your usual work performance is so poor, how can you still have the honor to meet your ancestors! ”
3. Son: “Dad, there is a poor old uncle outside. He keeps screaming outside, so dad, can you give me two dollars?” Dad: “ You are a good boy who has taken pity on the old man since you were a child. I will give you two yuan." Dad: "Oh, by the way, what is that old man's name?" Son: "Ice cream, it costs 2 yuan a piece! Come on!"
4. Wukong and Tang Seng appeared on a certain satellite TV show "If You Are the One". Wukong came on stage and all 24 lights went out. Reasons: 1. No house, no car, only a broken stick. 2. The occupation of a bodyguard is dangerous. 3. He beats goblins at every turn and is not gentle to girls. 4. He has been in prison and was forced to live under the Five Fingers Mountain for 500 years. Tang Monk came on stage, wow! The lights are all on. Reasons: 1. Civil servant; 2. Brother of the emperor, the toughest in the background; 3. Proficient in Sanskrit and other foreign languages; 4. Handsome; 5. The most important point: I have a BMW!
5. My mother said to me today: "Daughter, you can't get any fatter. You look like a gourd with underwear on, and a pear without underwear."
My dad said: "Nonsense, our daughter is also bumpy. She is obviously a lotus root, with fat knots."
6. A couple was quarreling, and the girl started to pinch her. I have used all the twisting... Look at the uncomfortable expression on the man's face... I saw the man wave his hand and said angrily, "You can build muscles when you wait for me to go back!" "Humph, so what if you build muscles?" Angrily replied: "I won't let you squeeze."
7. Xiaoli went to the gym to lose weight. She saw everyone else running hard on the treadmill, but she was the only one walking slowly. She called the coach and yelled: "Why can't I run on this treadmill?" The coach looked at her and said helplessly: "This has been turned to the maximum, and it becomes so slow as soon as you get on it..."
8. What should I do when I go to her house to meet my parents for the first time? What should I call them? Do you want to bring some gifts? "You beat up my daughter and you still think about this?" "
9. Aunt Zhang bought a pair of Jiefang shoes. After wearing them for two days, her toes were exposed. She asked the salesperson: "Why is the quality of Jiefang shoes so poor? "Salesperson: "It frees your toes from the darkness, isn't it? ”
10. One day while driving, I suddenly asked the coach why the steering wheel was a little loose. The coach calmly said, you senior sister, when encountering an emergency, don’t apply the brakes first, but pull the steering wheel hard. He was still shouting "Uu, uh, uh... 10 classic humorous jokes 2
20 classic humorous jokes
1. An IT manager walked into a ramen restaurant and asked : Do you need a client? The interface seems a bit outdated. The boss was stunned: The waiter usually serves the noodles, and the client only needs it when he is busy. The interface...the interface is definitely fresh, but the ribs are from yesterday.
2. If what you give me is the same as what you give to others, then I won’t want it. The aunt in the cafeteria threw up the big spoon: "Do you want it or not? Do you want it?"
3. When I was a child, every time I walked at night, I would feel that someone was always following me, so I developed the habit of walking violently after just a few steps. I fell out of the habit, and ten years later, I became a tango teacher.
4. Xiao Ming farted very loudly in the elevator. Xiao Gang pinched his nose with one hand and pointed to the sign on the elevator and said: Didn't you see it said "Handle with Care"?
5. When I was a child and saw my parents quarreling, I often struggled with whether I should get married when I grew up. It wasn’t until I got older that I discovered: I really thought too much!
6. Robber: "Tell me the password to the safe! I won't kill you!" Female staff: "I won't tell you even if you kill me! You ruined me, and I won't tell you!" Robbery After looking her up and down, the gangster said: "You have a beautiful idea!"
7. What is maturity? Your mother didn't rush you, so you just put on your long johns! What is youth? Your mother is urging you, but you still don’t wear long johns!
8. I have a dream, which is to return home in glory in a Lamborghini wearing sunglasses. After more than 20 years of hard work, half of it has been realized. I own sunglasses.
9. I heard that irregular rest is very harmful to the body, which scared me to stay up late every day and stay up very regularly.
10. The purpose of installing a mirror in the bathroom is to allow you to pee and look in the mirror.
11. As soon as I came to review, I discovered that some other people’s heads were printers, some were recorders, some were digital cameras, but my head was a soymilk machine.
12. My wife suddenly got angry and scolded me for some reason. I coaxed her for a long time before she calmed down and asked: "Do you know now where you went wrong?" I said angrily: "What do you mean? Do I I can’t be scolded if I’m not wrong?”
13. Every time I take an exam, the average score of the class will be in my hands.
14. I don’t have any outstanding advantages, but I have a very good eye for girls. All the girls I chased eventually married into good families without exception.
15. The boy took his girlfriend for a walk and passed by a restaurant. The girlfriend praised: "It smells so good!" The rich boy said very gentlemanly: "If you like, let's walk in front of the restaurant again."
16. The first day of school, kindergarten The principal called the parents to tell them whether their children had watched too many palace dramas. On the first day of roll call, the children directly replied, "The slave is here!"
17. I had a dream last night, dreaming of being beaten by a group of people. I was frightened and woke up, then continued to fall asleep. I met the group of people again and said to me, "How dare you come back?"
18. When eating Malatang, the boss said that his Malatang is divided into five levels: mildly spicy, medium spicy, spicy, abnormally spicy and sore buttocks the next day.
19. There was once a true love in front of me, but I didn’t cherish it. If I could do it over again... I would choose Li Bai.
20. I was on the phone with my boyfriend yesterday, but the call was suddenly disconnected for some reason.
After a while, the guy called me again. Before I could say anything, he said: Can you lose weight? Tell me yourself, how many times have you done this month? His smiling face touched the hang-up button!