The first chapter suddenly grow up
edge in
200 1 year.
That year, I was eighteen years old, a young cardamom. A day of squandering love.
That year, mom and dad divorced. Dad took a girl two years younger than me to America by plane. Mother cried and laughed, and finally went to the madhouse.
That year, my boyfriend took a girl's hand and suddenly stood in front of me with his fingers clasped. I see, beautiful dreams have become disillusioned bubbles. I love him very much, and he doesn't love me.
That year, I laughed it off and suddenly grew up.
( 1)
My name is Xianxian.
This is my stage name, and every young lady has her own stage name. As for my real name, I have probably forgotten it. In Mr. Gu Long's novels, Xian Xian is a bad woman who can't be hit hard and turns love into hate, suffering from the dilemma of love and hate. But I don't think she is bad, but she is too serious and persistent. So I like slim. I can complain to it when I am unhappy, cry to it when I am sad, and laugh at it when I am happy.
In fact, I am talking to myself more often.
Just like my current mood, I don't know why, but I really want to express something.
I like to look in the mirror, wear beautiful new clothes, and be spoiled, intoxicated and willful to myself. I need warmth, care and comfort. I am afraid that one day I will get old, abandoned and forgotten.
It turns out that I am just an ordinary girl.
However, why is my heart so lonely? Why do I always cry? I want to forget my sadness and all the unhappy things.
I asked myself, can I forget?
I can't forget it.
I have an MP3 player with deletion function. Songs can be erased at any time, but memories cannot.
So I am still very unhappy.
Sometimes, I prefer to close my eyes and never wake up. I once swallowed a bunch of sleeping pills in an attempt to sleep forever. At the moment when I was about to fall asleep, I called the emergency number of the hospital. Because I can see my mother's aging face in my mind. Yes, she is still alive.
Therefore, I also want to live bravely and follow the earth.
The first chapter suddenly grow up
(2)
I seldom see my mother again after she went to the madhouse.
I went to see my mother before I left the city where I lived for more than ten years. She smiled as soon as she saw me. She looked silly, with two small bubbles coming out of her nose, a flat mouth and sparkling eyes.
I bought a lot of delicious food for my mother, such as chocolate, lollipops, Wangwang ice cream, white rabbit toffee ... My mother said it was delicious and held everything in her arms. I like it like a child. When I pretended to rob again, my mother cried and said, don't rob me, it's mine. I said, mom doesn't cry, mom doesn't cry, what's yours is yours, and no one can take it away. When I said this, I suddenly remembered my father. That beautiful girl took my father, my mother's favorite person.
I always fantasized that my father would come back one day and come to my mother with delicious chocolate, lollipops, Wangwang snow cakes, white rabbit toffee and his heart, and never leave.
When I walked out of the madhouse, I held my mother's hand and I couldn't help crying. Originally, I repeatedly told myself not to cry in front of my mother and not to be so fragile. But it's no use. I just can't bear to part with my mother.
I knelt on the ground and kowtowed to my mother. I said, mom, you must be strong and live. I'll be back soon. Next time I will buy you a white rabbit and Winnie the Pooh ... wait for me. ...
My mother has been riding on me with a smile, screaming and jumping. Her foot hurts my hand. The doctor came forward to pull my mother away and told me that your mother doesn't know you anymore, so go.
I cried and said stubbornly, no, no, my mother knows me, knows me. ...
(3)
The weather is fine. There are clouds and birds in the blue sky.
My head was blown by the wind outside the window and I lay on the sofa in the lounge and slept for a long time. When I woke up, it was already night, and the stars and fireflies jumped out. My mother touched my forehead and said, I have a fever. Go to the doctor at once. I said awkwardly, no, no, I'm strong. I want to entertain guests now. My mother pulled me and said, silly child, are you going to die? Listen to your mother. I nodded, got up and walked downstairs.
This mother is my second person named "Mom", and many Hong Kong movies are called "Mommy".
I met her for the first time in a crowded railway station. I had just dropped out of school and came to this strange city. I have grown up since my father left and my mother went to the madhouse. So I have to learn to take care of myself and my mother. I told myself that I must earn a lot of money, find the best doctor for my mother, and build a big house for her, facing the sea and blooming in spring.
There are many people at the railway station. I stood alone in the crowd with two big boxes, such as a drop in the ocean. Everyone's face is cold and unsmiling. I looked timidly at people coming and going, and suddenly I didn't know where I was.
A kind aunt patted me and asked me where I was going. I shook my head and said foolishly, I want to go to a place where I can make money. Aunt smiled and said kindly, follow me and make money. You are quite likable. I want to refuse, but I don't know why, and I can't help following. Am I bewitched?
Aunt's house is so big and beautifully decorated, surrounded by green grass and red walls. There is a garden in the yard, in which there are cannas, daisies and Chinese rose flowers, as well as those sung by Pu Shu, which are more than one person high, crisscross and seem to have spread all over the world. Later, I heard that there was a girl who was not sad. I spent an afternoon looking for girls who were not sad, but there was nothing, because I was still unhappy.
The first chapter suddenly grow up (3)
However, there are many good sisters here.
They live here together and all look like princesses. I wonder if there is a little prince riding a white horse here.
Xiaozi's hair is beautiful, pouring straight from the top of his head to his waist, shining like a star. When I first met her, I couldn't help touching her hair. She proudly shook her hair and twisted little ass, and her black boots rattled on the yellow wooden floor. I watched with interest and smiled foolishly, just for fun. She asked me, is it nice? I said, yeah. Violet was greatly encouraged. She opened the VCD, imitated Britney Spears on it, and twisted her waist and hips like a group of demons dancing around.
In fact, Xiaozi not only dances well, but also looks beautiful, especially those big eyes with a little dark blue, which blink like dolls in shop windows. So, Xiao Zi and I hit it off at once, feeling intimate and familiar, as if we had known each other for a long time. As soon as she talks, she chatters, and I can only listen. Boring, but it doesn't matter!
The most beautiful girl is Wei Wei who is two years older than me. Fair skin, bright teeth, long and beautiful eyelashes. When I played with Xiaozi, she usually ignored us and made masks with foundation. The photos were yellow, too, and she had a good time. However, Vivian is very kind. From the day we met, she regarded me as her sister. When other sisters are not paying attention, she often gives me Lancome, CD and Issey Miyake, and tells me that a woman's beauty is easy to get old and her youth is easy to die. You should know to cherish your skin. I am very happy.
I regard Xiaozi and Weiwei as sisters. It feels good to be taken care of. I am almost dizzy with happiness.
Ann and Chili are my sisters, too One of them is the same age as me and the other is one year younger than me. Xiao An seldom sees a bright smile on her face, but when facing some guests, she will squeeze out some strange and complicated smiles. This is out of step with peers. I guess there must be great pain hidden in Ann's heart, but it's just kept in her heart. I often listen to her singing, especially Su Yongkang's "One person is not as good as two": Love has lost all freedom/no one is wrong/I just can't force it/I really taste it/the deepest loneliness/you know I understand/I can't miss your tenderness/I am forgotten and exiled by the world. Later, she told me that her love is like a castle in the air, which is gone forever, so don't believe in love any more. I remember that day, all my memories rushed out of the corner and got out of hand. Ann and I hugged each other tightly and cried loudly, as if our happiness would never come again.
Chili is the youngest of us, only seventeen years old, and naturally she has become my sister. She is really a hot pepper, lovely, naughty all day long, always with a childish look in her eyes. As the name implies, she is irritable, and she loses her temper and nags angrily when she encounters unpleasant things. But after venting, it returned to its original appearance, as clear as morning dew and as carefree as a bird.
The first chapter suddenly grow up (4)
(4)
The five of us live in a big house and spend a lot of time tidying and decorating our room every day. I believe this is our destiny. The room is very clean, the sky-blue floor-to-ceiling curtains are opened, and the sun shines like running water, which is very warm. The ground is full of colorful snacks and dolls. If my mother were here, she would be very satisfied, so every time I eat snacks, I always forget to leave some in my cupboard and give it to her when I go back to see my mother. One day, however, I opened the cupboard and found some hateful little mice living in it. They not only gave birth to mice in it, but also stole their mother's snacks.
Violet laughed at me and secretly hid a small vault. Vivian was so scared by this nest of mice that she lost her luster, covering her mouth and yelling and flashing away. Ann looked at it coldly and assumed an indifferent attitude. Pepper said coily, Xian Xian, you are so beautiful that even Mickey Mouse has found you. I am such a charming little beauty, why don't you look for me?
Violet said I was dizzy. I fainted at that time, and then I was about to fall.
Everyone will laugh. I took a deep breath, picked up the nest of mice with a cardboard box, rubbed it on the pepper, and scared her while shouting, Hum, don't blame me for bullying underage girls. Pepper broke out in a cold sweat, instantly slipped into his room and slammed the door. Ha ha ha, I'm so proud.
I put these transparent, red and hairless mice under a banana tree in the garden. I think their mother must be very anxious, and it will be very sad not to find the baby.
After putting down the mice, I prayed that their mother would find them and then skipped away. When I went up to the second floor, I stuck out my tongue and made faces at the pepper. Pepper said, you finally did something meaningful to see what makes you happy. We laughed together and flirted without restraint.
At this time, the little purple standing by the window pouted at me and let me pass. I saw something in her uneasy eyes, so I ran to look out of the window.
I saw my second mother, with a big belly, walk into the yard. Followed by the black pet dog who is always arrogant. I'm so nervous. I'm afraid that the black dog will hurt those little mice. Although it is a mouse that everyone hates, it is still a child!
What makes me sad is that Black Dog still found those little guys. He grabbed them one by one at his mother's feet with great interest. When my mother saw these little mice, she was surprised at first, and then she took a shovel to the wall and smashed the little life.
I close my eyes, my chest is blocked badly and I want to cry. Pepper grabbed my hand and felt sad with me. She said, forget it, you've done very well. I opened my eyes, clenched my fist and stared at the dog with a murderous look on my face. The dog even playfully wagged its tail and assumed a very innocent posture. Of course, it doesn't know the burning anger inside me.
I hate that dog and my second mother. To this end, I made up my mind not to call her mother in private, but to call her fat mother.
My sisters and I live in my fat mother's big house during the day and go to work in a very lively nightclub at night. Fat mom is the head waiter of that nightclub, and we were all introduced under her leadership.
On my first day at work, I cried with fear. Under the dim orange light, all kinds of ugly men touched me and wiped dust and dirt on me. I desperately broke away from a guest's arms and ran to my fat mother for help. She told me earnestly, it's okay, it's okay, and she will come over in a few times. Don't you want to make money? Then I don't care so much. I looked helplessly at the ghostly things around me, as if I had fallen into a bottomless abyss, and tears could not help flowing out.
Xiaozi and Chili comforted me and said, Xianxian, we are trying to make money. Although we are not pure physically, our hearts are still pure and our eyes are still bright and clear!
I finally gave in, not because of my fat mother's well-meaning, not because of the comfort of petty bourgeoisie and pepper.
But I thought of my mother, who was still waiting for me in the madhouse! I must earn a lot of money to treat her illness and buy her new clothes.
In the twists and turns of fate, sometimes choosing one thing is really like choosing extinction. When you get something, you are bound to lose something beautiful. In order for my mother to live a happier life, there is nothing wrong with this kind of pain and injustice.
After a while, I gradually got used to the pace of work here. Sleep in a daze during the day, dress up beautifully at night, please the guests heartily, and let them pay for me willingly.
With money, I can buy Korean dolls, expensive perfumes, beautiful French high heels and original Sony CDs. I would rather be extravagant and use money to make up for my scars, my poverty, my ups and downs and my lost youth. I can also save some money and send it to Aunt Li on time. She is my former neighbor and my mother's colleague, and now she has been taking care of my mother's life.
I think I have gradually become a bad girl, a demon and a fox.
Happiness and love really left me.
Mom, I'm sorry. Don't blame me, okay?
The first chapter suddenly grow up (5)
(5)
Fat mom is very strict with us at work. Sometimes in order to sleep late, she will severely reprimand me for not coming to work on time. I remember that once Weiwei was late for makeup and offended a guest, which made her fat mother very unhappy. The fat mother slammed Vivian's head and gave a Hedong roar. This move, like tear gas, hit Vivian's lacrimal gland firmly, making him lose face in public and tears flying in front of his sisters.
We were encouraged and never dared to be late again.
In fact, the fat mother is a good person in private, caring about us and treating us as family. Every holiday, she will cook for us personally, with delicious fried crabs, beautiful carp and many unknown foods. There are so many varieties that our mouths are watering. I really envy my fat mother's skill. When can I learn?
Fat mothers don't usually live with us. According to Xiao Zi, she lives with her husband and children. Her husband has been bedridden for a long time, so thin that he lives under the stimulation of drugs every day. Fat mom has to pay high medical expenses for this, otherwise she won't be engaged in this industry. The fat mother's son is also unfortunate. He has been a child with dementia since he was born, and his age is similar to ours. ...
After listening to Xiao Zi's words, I feel very sad and really want to cry. Why are we all so unhappy?
The first chapter suddenly grow up (6)
(6)
Fat mom asked me to go to the hospital, so I slipped out.
The street lamp fell lazily on my shoulder, casting a long and narrow shadow. I waddled along with my shadow. There is no one around, no wind, only me and my shadow. We are all alone.
There is a tall and thin boy sitting on a stool in the hospital corridor. I saw him at first sight when I came in. His hair is messy, like a hedgehog. Eyebrows are thick as ink marks. Big eyes, clean and bright, and a lake. Thick eyelashes and small mouth, like a girl. This is funny to match, but it appeals to me. I couldn't help looking at him more, and my heart was pounding.
The boy seemed to realize something and suddenly looked at me with burning eyes. My face turned red when I brushed it, so I quickly bowed my head and walked past him with small steps.
I'm so nervous that I can't breathe. I'm afraid he'll laugh at me inexplicably and that I've never met a handsome guy, so my heart will be so easy to open.
I'm really ashamed of myself.
In the infirmary, the doctor brought me a small thermometer. I put it under my own liquid and sat quietly next to the chair.
Before long, the boy came in, and the doctor gave him a thermometer to sit next to me.
He looked at me, revealing a row of white teeth and a vitamin smiling face.
I moved aside like a lady and said nothing.
He winked at me again and said in a nice voice, hello.
I "hmm" and gave a long yawn. Although his eyes keep firing at me, I can still be indifferent. Since my first boyfriend broke up with me, I decided to stop trusting boys and loving them.
I recall my former boyfriend, who once told me that he must marry me and never part. I nodded happily like a chicken pecking rice, and then we pulled the hook and cheated people into being puppies.
What about now? The clouds are light and the wind is light, and the prince in the fairy tale has long since disappeared. Now, I can't help thinking about it. Think about the erratic love, sigh and sigh, then throw out handfuls of tears and cry in the wind. That's enough. I will always remind myself that you are no longer that simple silly child, so don't love easily.
The doctor looked at my thermometer and said that he had a fever. Let's go for an injection. I raised my mouth and asked if I could skip the injection. I am afraid of pain. The doctor smiled and stressed that injections can make you get better faster, and taking medicine is too bitter.
I don't care! I asked the doctor to prescribe some yellow and green pills for me, put them in my pocket, paid the money and slipped away. Of course, I didn't forget to look back at that tall boy. He smiled mercilessly, which made me a little at a loss. That kind of feeling, it seems pretty cool.
On the lonely road, I wandered aimlessly with narrow shoulders. A pair of sweet lovers are sitting on a bench by the roadside. The popcorn in their hands smells like cream chocolate. I took a few mouthfuls greedily and suddenly became very lonely and sad.
I found an empty bench and sat on it for a while. My head began to hiss and hurt again. Damn cold, I hate it.
The first chapter suddenly grow up (7)
(7)
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