1. Two cannibals were recruited to IBM. The personnel director of the company knew that these two groups would eat people every day, so he warned them: "If you dare to eat one person in the company, you will be fired immediately!" Two cannibals reluctantly agreed that they would never eat people in the company. Two months have passed and the company is safe. Suddenly one day, the company found that the cleaner in charge of cleaning the company's hygiene was missing. So the personnel director was very angry, found two cannibals to denounce and fired them on the spot. Out of the company gate, one cannibal immediately complained to another: "I have been warning you not to eat people who are doing things, but you just won't listen!" We ate a manager every day for two months, and no one found out. You see, the cleaners are being eaten now, and they will find out right away! You are such a pig! ! ！" 2. Three explorers from the United States, Japan and China were caught by cannibals while exploring in Africa. The cannibal chief was more merciful and decided not to eat them, but they had to be fined 1 boards each and allowed to make one wish. First of all, the American said, "Please put six cushions on me." The chief agreed to the American request. However, the cushion was thin, and when it hit the 7th board, the cushion was in tatters, and the Americans mumbled in a trance: "Anyway, our nation is the most creative ..." Then they passed out. It was the Japanese's turn. He witnessed the misery of the Americans, so he begged. "Please put it on me on six mattresses." The chief agreed to the Japanese request. After being beaten 1 times, the Japanese stood up with mirth and said, "Our people are the nation with the strongest imitation!" " It's China's turn, and China smiles and asks, "Please put that Japanese devil on my * * *!" 3. African virgin forests, travelers and local tour guides ..... Traveler: Is it safe here? Will there be cannibals? Guide: Don't worry, it's safe here. There are no cannibals in Africa. Traveler: But what if there are a few cannibals left? Guide: That's impossible. We ate the last cannibal last Monday. 4, the world apartment in the eyes of cannibals: food shelf hospital: bad food exchange center train: sausage pregnant woman: meat buns 5, fruit Three men were captured by cannibals, and they begged cannibals to let them go. The cannibal leader said, "If you can find some fruit, I can consider letting you go." So the three men went to find fruit respectively. The first man came back with some grapes in his hand. It turned out that the cannibal leader just wanted to tease them. He ordered his people to stuff grapes into the man's * * *, and the man was miserable. The second man brought back oranges, and of course, he was also doomed. When the two men who were sweating profusely saw the third man back, they couldn't help laughing. It turned out that the third man was holding two huge coconuts. 6. Male soup and female soup cannibals traveled abroad and came to a restaurant. When they opened the menu, they were very surprised. It turns out that there are two dishes named male soup and female soup in the menu. Cannibals thought, are there cannibals here, too So the cannibal asked the waiter what the male soup and female soup were. The waiter said, "The male soup is meatball soup" and the female soup is scallop soup ". "7. The Power of the Bible An atheist came to an undeveloped island in search of evidence of evolution. To his surprise, he found that the local aborigines were reading the Bible. "There is no God in the world, and there is no God. Do you understand? That's what I came here to prove. ""oh? Is it? But without God's restraint, you would have entered my stomach. "8, cannibal recipes Chu Fengtou accidentally broke into the territory of cannibals while traveling in Africa and was captured by cannibals. The chef of the cannibal put the tied Chu Feng head in front of the frying pan and asked, "What's your name? "Chu Fengtou asked:" I am a dying person. What's the use of knowing my name! "The chef flew into a rage:" How dare you keep your mouth shut! I don't know your name, how to write a recipe? ! "9. The menu of the cannibal restaurant: Braised Hunters: Fried Missionaries in 15 yuan: Fried Ladies in 2 yuan: Politicians in 25 yuan: Someone in 1 yuan asked why" politicians in raw mix "are so expensive. The answers are: 1. Politicians are too cunning to catch. Second, politicians are the most tender meat. Third, the politician's meat is too dirty, and it is the most difficult to wash. 1. The British, Americans and Japanese take the same plane; Accidentally crashed and landed in Africa (it is said that sometimes cannibals haunt). Unfortunately, the three of them were picked up for dinner before they could escape? Yes. When they were watching the cannibals dance with a frown, they saw the chief come to examine the three fat dinners ... The three of them tried to communicate with the chief with a chance (of course? It's not translated quickly! ) They expressed in body language that they asked the chief to let go ...? ...； The indigenous chief agreed, but he gave them a question to embarrass them (of course, it won't be the topic of this joint exam! ）? His topic is: Let three people take out the penis and measure it, and if it adds up to 19cm ... release it! At this time, the British volunteered to measure first, wow! It's seven centimeters! American again? 1 centimeters. Finally, the Japanese are two centimeters (ha! Please calculate: 7+1+2 = 19, right? ! The chief kept his word and let them go. The three left the food running and crawling? Rencun, run for your life! ! Walk! Walk! The Japanese people took a deep breath and said, Hoo! Good Li Jia zai. Just when I was measuring the length, I was suddenly excited somehow! Otherwise. 11. When cannibals walked into Japanese mixed baths, they said happily, "OK, the second rice is nutritious and delicious! "12. A woman ran into a dead end under the pursuit of cannibals. Because of the fright, the woman wet her pants. When the cannibal saw it, he cursed: "* * * What a pity! The soup is spilled! "After giving birth to a child, a cannibal woman should first hold the child to her husband and politely say:?" Eat it while it's hot! "14. Bless the super-rich cannibal to take his son to travel abroad. On the plane, the son asked his father," Why are there so many people on the plane? "Dad replied," God always bless us. "Son: Can I eat that plane? Father: A plane is similar to a lobster. You have to remove the skin and eat the meat inside. 15. Harvest When the World Cup in France was in full swing, cannibals came to the football field to see the scene of overcrowding and could not help shouting, "What a bumper harvest this year! "16, there is an explorer to explore the Amazon basin, accidentally caught by cannibals. The explorer suddenly found that the chief not only spoke English, but even graduated from Cambridge University. He suddenly breathed a sigh of relief and thought that he had finally escaped. He asked the chief, "Surely the education of your people must be improved a lot ..." The chief replied, "Of course, we have started to use knives and forks when we eat people. "17. A cannibal and his son went out to look for food. They hid in thick hay and waited for their prey to arrive. Soon after, a thin boy passed by, and the son of the patriarch asked his father, "Dad, how about this?" "The patriarch replied," No, this boy is too thin to taste! "? Soon after, a fat man passed by, and the son of the patriarch asked his father, "Dad, what about this fat man?" "The patriarch replied," No, this is too fat, and cholesterol will rise if you eat it! "Soon after, a beautiful woman passed by, and the son of the patriarch asked his father," Dad, what about this beautiful woman? "The patriarch replied," Wow! Great, let's take this beautiful woman home! "The son of the patriarch asked his father," Do we have food? "The patriarch replied," Yes, cook your mother to eat! "18. An explorer traveled to Africa alone and accidentally met a cannibal in the wild. The explorer was surrounded by cannibals. In desperation, he shouted to the sky:" God! Help me quickly, if I go on like this, I will die! "At this time, there was a voice in the sky:" Don't worry! You may not die yet, so throw a stone at the chief! "According to God's instructions, the explorer picked a big stone and threw it at the chief, who was killed. The other cannibals were stunned for a while, and then they began to glare at the explorer! There was another voice in the sky: "Now, you are really dead! "